Covert Desires

by Sondae Bennett

  Once he’d parked, he moved around the car to open her door, but she was already out and half way up the steps to her house.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, grinning at the surprise on her face when she turned to face him.

  “We aren’t going inside?”

  He merely shook his head.

  “Oh. Then I guess I don’t know.”

  “Come on.” He offered his hand and was ridiculously pleased when she grabbed it without hesitation.

  As wolf, Danny had run these parts of the woods many times, so it didn’t take him long to find the sunny clearing next to the bubbling brook. He felt safe enough bringing her here, knowing the pack had been warned to stay away. Besides, if any of them disobeyed–and God help them if they did–they’d look like nothing more than a regular wolf. Not uncommon in Colorado, even though most wild wolves stayed clear of shifter territory. At least they stayed clear of Alpine Woods territory. Peeing around the perimeter of town had taken him and his brothers almost a week, but was worth the trouble knowing the children in their pack wouldn’t be harmed by encroaching predators if they wandered away from their parents.

  “Wow, this is incredible!” Amber let go of his hand to stand at the edge of the water.

  “Careful, wouldn’t want you to fall in. the temptation to push is getting stronger and stronger.” Not that he would follow through with the threat. The water was too shallow for that kind of horseplay, but maybe later they’d take their shoes off and wade in.

  “You push me and I’m taking you with me.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

  “I wouldn’t expect anything less. Come on, let’s eat.”

  Before the tree line, a group of rocks sat in a semi-circle, creating a table of sorts.

  Amber still stood by the water, and the look on her face made him pause. Never before had he seen such wistfulness on another human’s face.

  The wolf inside him raised its head. If he could give her what she yearned for–whatever she yearned for–he would.

  “It’s so peaceful, here. So different from the city. Sometimes I wish…”

  He waited, but she didn’t continue.

  “What do you wish for?” he asked, desperate to know so he could hunt it down and present it to her.

  She shrugged and started toward him with a smile. “It’s not important.” But somehow he knew it was. That whatever she had been about to say would have changed everything.

  They started eating in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. But before long the silence was broken, their teasing banter driving away whatever demons plagued them both.

  The late afternoon sun had sunk below the trees before they decided to head back, Danny promising to take her back to town so she could grab her car. Jason and Ethan would kill him for blowing off work, but Danny didn’t care. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun, or felt so carefree. And Amber was the cause.

  It scared him, knowing what she was. But what terrified him more was the knowledge that her time here was limited. That once her assignment ended, she’d no doubt go back to wherever she lived.

  That thought downright panicked him. Because now that he’d found her, life without her would feel empty.

  Danny pulled the car over, braking so hard that the gravel from the shoulder crunched beneath the tires. His life would feel empty without her.

  “Danny? What’s wrong?”

  He looked over at Amber’s concerned expression, running his eyes over her features. Instinct demanded he soothe her worry.

  Shit. This created all sorts of complications, because he thought he finally understood how much Amber meant to him. Mate screamed inside in his head. He was swimming in the deep end and now he had to see how long he could tread water.

  “Thought I saw a deer,” he lied. Badly. Lying had never been one of his strong suits.

  She didn’t believe him. He could see it in her eyes. But he pulled out onto the road before she could question him further.

  He needed time to think about this new development. And advice. Unfortunately, the people he would turn to for advice were off limits. As much as he might want to turn to his family, he couldn’t tell them about his growing feelings for Amber. Not only because they already doubted his abilities to keep her out of their territory, but because he knew they would bar him from seeing her.

  That was no longer an option.

  Chapter 5

  Nightmares assaulted her that night, trapping her in a world of darkness and terror. Where screams echoed around her in a constant stream of pain and heartache, and blood ran like a river down her face, catching in the blindfold she’d been wearing so long it had become a second skin. She woke, screaming and swinging, as she tumbled out of the bed in her effort to get away from the men who were always in her nightmares with her. To get away from the pleasure on their faces whenever she cried out in pain.

  She sat on the floor with her head in her hands and struggled to shake off the dream. Blood rushed to her head, creating a constant beat against her hands. Bile rose up, coating the back of her throat, but Amber refused to give into it. She would not throw up. She would not. No matter how tempting the thought became. Concentrate on the here and now, she could hear her therapist say.

  A wolf howled in the distance, rooting her in the present.

  Colorado. She was in Colorado on a mission. One her boss had assured her would be a cakewalk. A little information hunting, maybe following a lead or two. Nothing to worry about.

  But that cake was a lie. Nothing about life was worry-free any longer. The dreams didn’t come nightly, but they always came back. Not a month went by without reliving the weeks of terror when she closed her eyes. Frequent enough for the anxiety to spill into her everyday life.

  With a fortifying sigh, she stood and made her way to the bathroom. Moonlight shone through the window, bathing the room in a soft light. Plenty to see what she was doing, but Amber flipped the light switch anyway, shielding her eyes from the sudden flood of light. She felt better with them on. After the nightmares, she always needed to turn on as many lights as she could.

  She turned on the shower and stepped under the spray, not giving the water time to heat. The cold jolted her awake, dispelling the last vestiges of her dream. Finally, she could breathe a sigh of relief. If only the memories were so easy to vanquish. Months of therapy hadn’t managed that. A little cold water had no chance. Ousting the dream was enough for now.

  Eyes stinging with the tears she craved to shed, she turned her face into the spray as it began to heat. The water ran down her face in the path the tears would run if she gave into them.

  The last time she’d given in to the sobs crowding her chest, she’d been inconsolable for days. Not a risk she could take right now. She had to keep her head in the game.

  Losing control quickly gave way to losing life and limb. Or a replay of the past. She shuddered at the thought. Definitely not an option.

  She stayed under the spray until the water turned blistering. When she could stand it no longer, she turned off the shower and wrapped herself in a cotton robe. Standing in the middle of the bathroom, she took a deep breath and let the steam loosen the tightness in her chest. Outside she heard another wolf howl, followed by others. They sounded closer than before.

  Although she knew she was in the wilds of Colorado, she hadn’t realized wolves were that prominent in the area, so close to civilization. She figured they’d stick to the less occupied areas.

  It was kind of nice to be surrounded by nature. She listened to their calls for a moment, enjoying the unity of the group. There were at least three, maybe four, wolves out. Gathering food for their young, or maybe scouting their territory. Little wolf pups. How cute!

  With a sigh, she left the comforting warmth of the bathroom and made her way to the kitchen to start coffee.

  Light had barely penetrated the sky, muddying the black to a murky gray. But further sleep would be foolish. When the nightmares came,
they came in force, not stopping with a single visit. She had pills to take care of them, but just one would knock her out for the rest of the day. And she couldn’t afford that. Despite how comforting the thought might be.

  She frowned at the cheap Mr. Coffee brewer she’d picked up at the Target a few towns over. If she were going to make early mornings a habit, she’d have to invest in a better coffee maker. Or maybe a fancy espresso maker like she had back in DC.

  She rolled her eyes as she dished the coffee into the filter. So much for living thrifty and saving money for retirement. Her resolve hadn’t even lasted one week. Hopeless.

  A wolf howl split the night, making her jump. Coffee grounds spilled all over the counter. Those howls sounded much closer. Almost as if they were in the woods directly beyond her cottage. Which was crazy. Wolves didn’t walk up to inhabited areas. Right? Sure, the cottage was the only one in the area, but they wouldn’t get this close. Would they?

  Another howl. So close, she’d swear the wolf was standing on her porch.

  She choked on a nervous laugh. She’d turned on every light in the cottage on the way to the kitchen, and there were enough windows for the light to spill out into the night, even with the curtains drawn. No way would a wild animal get this close. She was just being a silly city girl.

  Still, doubts nagged at her until she crept to the window next to the front door and moved the curtain enough to peek outside. Sure enough, two wolves stood in her front yard. She tilted her head to the right to get a better view.

  All of a sudden, she was staring into the angry eyes of a giant wolf, standing directly across from her in the glass and peeking in through the crack she’d made in the curtains.

  Amber dropped the fabric as if it had burned her and backed away from the window. Outside, the wolf growled low and deep, the sound crystal clear through the thin sheet of glass.

  Adrenaline coursed through her system. Mafia with guns, no problem. But this… What the hell did one do against a pack of wolves?

  This behavior went against everything she’d ever heard about wild animals. Weren’t they supposed to be more frightened of her than she was of them? Because right now, she highly doubted that was possible.

  Her heart beat a wild rhythm in her chest, pounding with brutal force. Her ears started ringing with the increased blood flow. She had to get a grip soon, or she’d lose her head and wouldn’t be able to do much of anything.

  A few deep breaths steadied her. There had to be a logical explanation for their behavior. Animals acted out of instinct. This cottage had been unoccupied for a long time. Maybe they weren’t expecting her here. Maybe they were even now scampering away.

  And the fright of seeing the wolf so close to her had to be the reason behind the intelligence she’d seen in the beast’s eyes. Her imagination acting up. Nothing more. Because no animal, not even the gorilla who’d learned how to sign and kept kittens for pets, possessed the kind of intelligence she’d seen. No, the kind of intelligence she’d thought she’d seen.

  She had about convinced herself, when something slammed into the front door with enough force to move the wood. Her eyes widened as she stared at the pane. No way had that just happened.

  Another hard slam into the door proved it had. It was as if they were trying to get inside. She could see the headlines now: Woman attacked by wolves in own home.

  Gun. She needed her gun. But even as she ran for it, she wondered if it would be enough. She could take down one, maybe even two wolves, if they all came at her at once. But three? She was good. But she didn’t think she was that good. Animal attacks weren’t exactly on the FBI training syllabus.

  The hinges groaned at the next attack. The moan flooded the room, piercing through the pounding filling her ears. Blindly, Amber reached for her phone behind her. She didn’t know what she planned to do, or who she planned to call, but she knew when she needed back-up. At least if she died, someone would know to look for the body. She dialed without looking, hitting the first number on the list, and put the phone to her ear.

  The ringing distracted her and she squeezed her eyes shut to try and block out the steady banging against her door.

  “Hello?” A sleepy voice answered on the other side of the phone. Danny. The last number she’d entered into her phone.

  “Danny?” She jumped as another bang reverberated around the room.

  “Amber?” He sounded wide awake now. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know who to call.” Another bang. Even if Danny knew the number for animal control, or the sheriff,–God, who did one call about rabid animals, because they had to be rabid to be acting this way–Amber doubted anyone would get here in time.

  “What’s that pounding?” Danny asked.

  “They’re going crazy. I don’t…I don’t think I can take them all.” She wasn’t making much sense. But what did she expect Danny to do?

  “Who’s going crazy? Talk to me.” A car door slammed in the background through the connection.

  “No! Danny you can’t come here. They’re crazy. They’ll kill you.” Silence. “Danny, don’t come here.”

  “Then tell me what’s happening!”

  “It’s wolves. They’re attacking the cottage.” Another bang. The hinges continued to groan. The silence on the other end stretched out so long she thought she’d been disconnected. Cell reception was spotty here. She just hoped she’d gotten through and Danny had turned around. She didn’t want his death on her head.

  She pulled the phone away and looked at the display. Still connected.

  “Lock yourself in the bedroom. I’ll be there soon,” Danny said, loud enough to hear even though the speaker wasn’t against her ear. But his voice sounded different. Angrier, but also more guttural. So much so, it took a moment for her to understand the words behind the growl.

  “Please don’t come,” she whispered. She didn’t want him to be a hero. Heroes died as often as not.

  “It’ll be okay. Go into the bedroom and shut the door.”

  Amber found herself complying before she had a moment to think, the command in his voice so strong. It wasn’t until the door was shut that she realized he’d heard her whispered plea even though the phone had been far away from her mouth at the time.

  * * * *

  Danny’s tires squealed as he turned onto the dirt road leading to Amber’s cottage. Driving too fast.

  Waking up to the fear in Amber’s voice had been too much for his wolf. For the man as well. Especially after the dreams he’d been having. Dreams of Amber lying on his bed naked, her eyes filled with lust. He’d woken up with a boner the size of his fist, but it had disappeared when he’d heard her terror bleeding into every word she’d spoken.

  When she’d begged him not to come, thinking the wolves would hurt him, he’d felt his eyes shift, and his control on his wolf had almost snapped. But he’d held it in, knowing he had to reach her cottage before things there got out of hand.

  If he didn’t put a stop to whatever was happening, Amber and at least one of his pack would be dead. Amber wasn’t the type of girl to go down without a fight, and based purely on her profession, she had to have at least one gun hidden in that cottage. Maybe more.

  So it was up to him to establish order. No matter how much he wanted to tear the throats out of the wolves who’d dared to attack her. Friend or foe, Amber was his responsibility.

  Gravel hit the sides of the car in a constant tattoo as he tore up the road until her cottage came into view. Sure enough, three wolves were taking turns slamming into her front door. They paused as Danny’s headlights cast them in a spotlight. Drake Anderson and his two lackeys. He should have known. Those three undermined his leadership every chance they got. Not just troublemakers, but dangerous ones.

  He slammed the car door as he got out. The three stood on the porch watching him warily as he approached.

  When he got close enough for them to look him in the eyes, they dropped their heads and tucked their
tails between their legs, but the submissive pose did little to cool the anger thrumming through his veins. Who knew how far these idiots would have taken things if he hadn’t arrived when he had? The thought of one of them hurting Amber caused a new rage to boil inside him.

  His ear twitched as he heard a door creak inside. It sounded like Amber had left the bedroom and was making her way toward the front door. He was running out of time.

  “Wait for me at Town Hall.” When none of them moved, he pointed toward the woods. “Now.”

  They bumped into each other as they hastened to comply, running into the woods seconds before Amber burst out the house, gun drawn. When she saw he was alone, she hurriedly shoved the gun out of sight.

  Danny was just as quick to turn around and give her his back, facing the woods where the wolves had run off.

  The wolf inside him was still too close to the surface. He had no doubt his eyes were glowing in the dusky pre-dawn light.

  “Oh, thank God. When I heard you pull up and didn’t hear anything else, I thought for sure they’d gotten you.” She didn’t mention the gun and neither did he. Best all around if he pretended he hadn’t seen it.

  Danny closed his eyes and struggled for control. “Nope.” He coughed, trying to clear the growl from his voice. A deep breath, then another, helped to rein in his wolf. He had a role to play, and needed to salvage this night. “They ran off as I pulled up. Strange behavior. Never heard of wolves acting so aggressive around these parts.”

  He took a moment to question whether it was the right course of action. Maybe he should have pretended she’d been having a bad dream, or had gone crazy. But he dismissed it almost immediately. She seemed too smart to fall for something like that.

  Besides, the evidence was there for all to see on her front door. The wood panel was too old to be taking that kind of abuse.

  Once he had his control firmly in place, he turned to her with a smile, ready to put her at ease and halt the questions he didn’t want to answer before she could ask them. The smile faded when he saw her face. Stress lines dented the sides of her mouth and dark circles hung under her eyes. She looked worn down. As if a slight breeze would knock her over. The contrast from the woman he’d spent the day with staggered him.