His Cowboy Heart

by Jennifer Ryan

“Good. I’ll go check on Sammy, see how the EKG is going. I spoke with Rory. The guys are on the way.”

  “Maybe I should go.” Jamie glanced at the door, then back at Dr. Bowden, then the door again.

  “Sit down. I may need to ask you some more questions. And Rory wants to talk to you when he gets here.”

  Ford’s big brother could intimidate a general. “Uh, why?”

  “Probably to find out what happened from you directly.”

  “Uh, okay.” Jamie took a seat in the corner of the waiting room away from everyone else. She needed some space. Zoey lay content on her chest for a few minutes, then opted for the cool tile floor, jumping off Jamie’s lap, tumbling on her unsteady legs, and plopping down flat.

  Nervous about seeing Ford and his brothers and thinking about poor Sammy alone in the other room, she leaned forward, hung her head between her shoulders, her forearms braced on her legs, stared at her bloodstained hands, and lost herself in a war-torn world only in her mind.

  Chapter 27

  Ford opened the gate on the trailer he’d backed into Colt’s yard at Rambling Range. On his way over, he’d picked up a horse as a favor to Colt’s wife, Luna. He took the horse’s halter and backed him out of the trailer. The horse was to be a new addition to her equine therapy program. He’d wanted to bring Jamie with him, so he could hopefully get her involved in the program. He thought helping others might help her.

  It seemed a perfect fit, but now he didn’t know if he’d ever bring her here.

  Everything had seemed so sure in his life yesterday. Today, he felt adrift, uncertain, and pissed off to keep from feeling the unrelenting pain that had settled in his chest.

  The fury he felt this morning seeing her in bed with that fucking asshole Tobin nearly made him snarl at Colt instead of nodding his head in greeting when Colt came out of the barn.

  “Hey, where’s your girl?” Colt looked around him and the horse to see if Jamie was still in the truck.

  His girl. He didn’t know if she was his anymore. He wanted her to be. He wanted to believe that what he’d seen this morning didn’t mean what he thought it meant. He tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but the image of Tobin with his hand up Jamie’s shirt had burned in his brain.

  “She’s not here.”

  Colt’s eyes filled with concern. “Oh. Bad day for her again, huh?”

  Ford had kept Colt and Rory in the loop about his seeing Jamie and the issues facing her. She’d done so well at the ranch when she ran into his brothers again. And the family dinner remained one of his best recent memories. She’d adjusted to the guys he hired working at the ranch. He’d wanted to bring her to Colt’s place today and ease her into the family a little at a time. Luna and Jamie had hit it off talking horses. Completely on board with his plan, Luna wanted to invite Jamie to join the equine therapy program.

  Colt’s head tilted as he eyed him. “What’s with the pissed-off glare? I thought Jamie was getting better.”

  “She was until an Army buddy showed up last night and thought it a great idea to talk nonstop about the past.”

  “Shit.”

  “Not even close. Fucked up is more like it.”

  Colt leaned against the wood rail fence. “Care to share what happened?”

  He needed to get it off his chest. Colt had always been a great sounding board. Maybe if he talked about it, he could get it to make sense. “The guy is crazy about her. You can see it in the way he never stops staring at her.”

  A curious frown tugged one side of Colt’s mouth back. “How does Jamie look at him?”

  Ford didn’t want to believe there was something there, but as the evening wore on last night her initial trepidation wore off and they were like best friends.

  Ford didn’t say that. Instead he went with Jamie’s initial reaction to Tobin, which still didn’t make any sense when put together with the obvious bond they shared.

  “She nearly killed him when he showed up.”

  Colt’s eyes went wide. “Did she shoot him, too?”

  “No. Apparently she saves that for me.” He shook off some of his anger and tried to explain. “He set her off. I thought I’d taken all her bullets, but she must have had some stashed away. She loaded the gun and had it ready to fire when she let him in the door.”

  “Did she actually pull the gun on him?”

  “No. She had it tucked away at her back.”

  Colt’s head tipped to the side again. “Okay. Well, he made her nervous and scared. She armed herself, but she didn’t shoot first without thinking.”

  That’s how he’d felt last night. She’d had a major setback, but she hadn’t totally gone off the rails and lost it completely.

  “She drank a few beers and took her meds. She barely ate anything. She ignored me most of the night.”

  Colt eyed him. “She ignored you? Or she spent time catching up with a friend who understands what she’s been through and related to her better than you can?” Colt’s one shoulder shrug punctuated the rhetorical question.

  Okay, Ford hadn’t thought of it that way. “When did you turn into Dr. Phil?”

  Colt mocked him with a lopsided grin. “Did I touch a nerve? They have history. That incited your little green monster.”

  “I was not jealous.” The conviction in his voice didn’t erase the lie in his words. Yeah, he’d seen her with Tobin and the easy way they spoke and finished each other’s sentences when relating a familiar story about an event or one of their other friends. It pissed him off that he’d sat there with nothing to say because he didn’t know that part of her life.

  “Deny much?”

  Ford held up his hands and let them drop. “Fine. I don’t like the guy. He’s pushy.”

  “You’re pushy with her. You said it yourself, you make her face things to help her get through them.”

  “Not when it comes to the attack. That’s dangerous territory. She will shoot if she loses herself in that time.”

  Colt’s eyes filled with suspicion. “This is the guy who was there with her, right?”

  “Yeah?”

  “So why is he pushing her to talk about what happened? I’d think he already knows and doesn’t want to talk about it either.”

  Ford cocked his head and thought about it. “I think he said something to her, or asked her about something that happened that made her . . . I don’t know . . . feel guilty. I got the feeling he wanted to know just how much she remembered, or didn’t.”

  “Why does it matter? He already knows what happened.”

  “Right. He saved her. From the fire and after she was shot.”

  Colt gave him another of those knowing looks. “See? She’s nice to the guy because she owes him her life. She loves you.”

  That actually made a hell of a lot of sense and eased Ford’s aching heart.

  His phone rang. He ignored it.

  “You’re not going to answer that?”

  “I’m not in the right frame of mind to talk to her right now. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.”

  Colt’s eyebrow shot up. “Like what?”

  “I don’t know.” He also didn’t want to hear her say goodbye. He really didn’t want to hear that she planned to stay with Tobin. He really hoped that didn’t happen.

  “What else happened last night?” Colt eyed him, knowing he’d held something back.

  Ford didn’t want to tell his brother that he’d found Jamie in bed with another guy. If they managed to fix this mess between them, and that was a big if, if she’d slept with the guy, then he didn’t want his brother always looking at her knowing what she’d done to Ford.

  “She asked me to leave last night so she could talk to him alone and get some answers to those missing pieces in her mind.”

  “You didn’t trust the asshole to keep his hands to himself without you there.”

  Exactly. And look what happened. Well, he actually didn’t know what happened.

  His phone chimed with a text messa
ge.

  Colt pointed to the phone poking out of Ford’s pocket. “Answer her.”

  Ford shook his head. He needed a little more time to let his anger, disappointment, and the deep hurt she’d caused him settle so he could think things through and talk to her with a clear head.

  This time Colt’s phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and smiled. “Big brother is calling.” He swiped his finger across the screen and put the phone to his ear. “Hey, big bro, what’s up?” Colt’s smile died and his eyes filled with worry.

  “What is it?” Ford asked, his stomach tying in knots just seeing the devastated expression on Colt’s face.

  “We’re on our way. Ford is here. I’ll fill him in, and we’ll meet you there.” Colt hung up and let out a catcall whistle toward the stables. Luna walked out. Colt waved her over, telling her with that signal to hurry.

  “Colt, man, what is it?” Ford demanded.

  He waited for Luna to run over to them. “Grandpa Sammy is at the clinic. He crashed his truck at Ford’s place after he had a dizzy spell and his heart stopped.”

  Luna gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes filling with tears. “No.”

  “He’s okay,” Colt assured her, then turned to Ford. “Jamie saved him.”

  “What?” Ford felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. One second he thought his grandfather dead, the next he discovered Jamie saved him.

  She’d gone to his place looking for him.

  Oh God, if they’d come here to Colt’s as he’d planned, his grandfather would be dead right now.

  “Ford.” Colt clamped a hand on his shoulder and shook him. “Whatever happened between you two last night, I don’t know, it doesn’t matter right now. We need to get to the clinic. He’s stable, but Bell is running some tests.”

  Ford turned to leave, realizing he still held on to the horse he’d come to deliver. “Uh . . .”

  Colt took the horse’s lead rope and ran the horse down to the barn.

  Luna touched his arm. “Unhook the trailer. Let’s go.”

  Ford acted, doing what he had to do to get to his grandfather, but all his thoughts dwindled down to two things. He prayed his grandfather was really okay. And he needed to see Jamie and thank her for saving his grandfather’s life. Everything else could wait. For now. But soon they’d have to talk, and he didn’t know how that would end. He hoped it didn’t end everything.

  Chapter 28

  Ford walked into the hospital behind Colt and Luna just as Rory and Sadie’s truck pulled into the lot. Colt spotted Jamie in the waiting room and headed toward her. Zoey saw Ford, leaped up from her nap on the floor, and came running, attacking his boots. Ford scooped her up and stared at Jamie.

  Colt nearly reached her, but stopped when Ford called, “Stop. Don’t go near her.”

  Jamie sat very still with her hands in front of her. She rubbed her thumb over the red stains, but they didn’t go away. Lost in her own world, she didn’t look up as Colt approached her. Ford feared if startled she’d come up fighting.

  She didn’t do that though. Her head came up at his order for Colt to stay clear and her tear-filled eyes met his. “I’m not going to hurt him.” Her head dropped again and she continued rubbing at her hands.

  Rory walked right past Colt and went to Jamie, kneeling in front of her so she didn’t have to look so far up to see his face. “Hey, Jamie. It’s good to see you again.”

  Jamie nodded but didn’t really respond.

  “I heard what you did. You saved Granddad. You gave him CPR, brought him back.”

  “That’s what I’m trained to do.” Her sad eyes came up and met Rory’s. “I’m supposed to help people, save them from bad things happening, but I didn’t save my team. They’re dead. I should be dead, too.” A tear slipped down her face. She pursed her lips and the sadness disappeared. “You should go see him. He’s just down the hall. Room two.”

  Her head fell between her shoulders and tears fell silently to the floor between her feet.

  Rory looked back at him, one eyebrow raised in question about her odd behavior. Ford’s chest ached so bad he thought it might crack, split clear open, and spill out all the sorrow he had for Jamie inside of him.

  Ford walked over and tapped Rory’s shoulder to get him to move out of the way. He took Rory’s place in front of Jamie, kneeling with Zoey between his legs. He didn’t know what to do or say. This wasn’t the usual way Jamie broke down. She got angry. She got homicidal. She blacked out. She came back fighting. She did not get sad and quiet like this.

  Her head came back up and her eyes went wide when she saw him sitting in front of her and not Rory. “Go see your grandfather. He’s waiting to see you. He needs you.”

  “Jamie.”

  Tears flooded her eyes again. “I’m really sorry. It wasn’t at all what it looked like, I swear. I would never do that. Ever.” She shook her head from side to side. “Never. I love you.” She swiped her finger over her tear-streaked face, leaving behind a wet, red mess.

  It hit him all at once that the stain on her fingers was his grandfather’s blood.

  Her gaze dropped to her hand and her eyes went wide. She wiped her hands on her jeans, trying to get the stains off. Her breathing became erratic as a full-blown panic attack kicked into gear.

  “Colt, get something to clean her up,” he called over his shoulder. His family had moved away to talk to Bell and give him a minute with Jamie, but now they all stared as she broke down in front of him, desperately trying to get the blood off herself.

  He grabbed her hands and hid them in his. He leaned close so all she saw was his face. “I love you, too.”

  Her breath stopped altogether, then whooshed out on a sigh. “You do? Still? After last night?”

  “We will talk about that, but right now I need you to calm down.”

  She cocked her head and studied his face. “I’m okay.”

  “You sure?”

  “I’m a little here and there, but I’m mostly here.”

  He actually understood that. The past was intruding on her thoughts, but she was still in control of her mind.

  “He died.” Her eyes implored him to understand all she didn’t say and what that meant. “I didn’t panic. I didn’t freeze. I brought him back. For you. For them.” She cocked her head toward his brothers. “He’s okay. I saved him. This time I saved him.”

  As in she hadn’t saved her friends. He saw that in the depths of despair in her eyes. How much she wanted that to be untrue. How seeing Tobin last night brought the fact their other friends were missing from that reunion into sharp focus. Jamie couldn’t face the pain, so she’d tried to numb it, drinking with Tobin.

  Colt handed him a wet towel. Ford picked up Zoey and set her in Jamie’s lap to distract her while he cleaned her hands and blood-smeared cheek. To distract her more, he asked, “How’d you get them to let Zoey in here?”

  “I told them she’s my emotional support dog. Dr. Bowden backed me up. She’s nice.”

  Ford rubbed Zoey behind the ear. “It’s the truth. Zoey helps you.”

  “And you’re angry she got left outside last night because I was too wasted to hear her, let alone remember to take care of her.”

  “I’m not talking about this now.” He tucked the bloody towel at his side so she didn’t see it. “You okay to wait here while I go see my grandfather?”

  “I’m leaving. You need to be with your family, not taking care of me. I’ve taken up far too much of your time and made you put off important things you need to do too often. Be with your family, Ford. Don’t worry about me.”

  “And just how are you getting out of here?”

  “I have the keys to your grandfather’s truck. I’ll drop it off at your house and get my truck.”

  He sucked in a deep breath trying to remain calm and avoid having the fight brewing between them explode here in the middle of the clinic waiting room.

  “And go home to Tobin?”

  Her eyes
went wide. “I forgot about him.”

  Well, that was a relief. She’d come to find him and she’d forgotten about her so-called friend.

  “Maybe I’ll go to Zac’s.”

  “You’re coming with me.” He pulled her up by the hand he hadn’t realized she’d kept in his this whole time. Zoey tried to wiggle toward him, but Jamie held the pup close, nuzzling her nose into Zoey’s soft fur.

  They found Rory, Sadie, Colt, and Luna in Grandpa Sammy’s room. Ford set the bloodied towel he’d used to clean Jamie up on the counter by the sink and walked to the end of the bed, Jamie still beside him.

  Granddad held out his hands. “What do we have here? Is that the pup you got for your girl?”

  Ford took Zoey from Jamie’s hands, though she looked reluctant to release her. “Go get him,” he ordered Zoey, setting her on the bed beside his grandfather’s leg.

  Zoey rushed up the length of him and promptly pounced on his chest and licked his face. Grandpa Sammy laughed, tried to dodge the puppy’s tongue, and rubbed her back, enjoying the attention.

  Who didn’t love a puppy?

  “Jamie, we really can’t thank you enough for what you did,” Luna said, reaching out to touch Jamie’s shoulder.

  Jamie didn’t flinch away, but her breath held for a split second before she breathed again. “I’m just glad it worked out and you’re okay,” she said to his grandfather. “You scared me.”

  “He scared all of us,” Rory added. “Really, Jamie, thanks. I’m so glad you were there.”

  “We all are,” Colt said, taking Luna’s hand and holding it.

  Rory had Sadie at his side, his arm around her back, and his hand on the side of her pregnant belly.

  His brothers had the women they loved next to them for support and comfort. They looked so connected. Ford had Jamie here with him. Hell, she’d saved his grandfather. If she hadn’t, this would have been a very different scene. Still, he wished he could pull her into his arms and hold her, knowing there was nothing standing between them. But after what he’d seen this morning, the hurt still tightening his chest, he held back and hated it.