In Love and War

by Natalie Brock

  -- Prime Minister Winston Churchill

  On the following night, Kay picked up the second letter, still in its envelope. It was a letter from King George, royal crest and all.

  It was often hard for Kay to reconcile Alexander being a member of the royal family. If he was royalty, his bearing should be regal, composed, dignified. Alexander wasn’t like that at all, at least not the Alexander that Kay knew. That man was emotional and surly.

  She took the letter out of the envelope. It appeared to be written in the King’s own handwriting, and not written by a scribe or servant. She began reading.

  17 November, 1942

  Dear Cousin,

  I am in receipt of your post, dated 3 November 1942 in which you reported that your marriage to Charlotte is ending. Sad news indeed.

  The tragedy that took place in February last has taken a toll on us all. It has been a difficult situation for the entire family. We have done our best to manage the press, but the British media seems gleeful at any opportunity to tear down our family, and this issue has given them a large bone on which to chew.

  As you and I discussed, we believe it would be best to move you out of the limelight. Therefore, I have arranged for you to relocate to Southampton. Merrifield is a modest estate and I believe you shall be quite comfortable there. You will be given £5,000 per annum, a manservant, a groundskeeper, a cook, and a stable master.

  I wish you the very best, dear cousin, and believe it to be in our collective interest to refrain from all future contact.

  Best,

  George

  Kay took a deep breath when she finished reading the letter. Was it true? Was Alexander really responsible for the deaths of those airmen under his command, the ones she read about in the newspaper clippings? Is that why his marriage ended? Is that why he was exiled to Merrifield? Is that why he was so upset when another RAF pilot’s plane went down on his property? Was that the reason he was distraught when Welles, a complete stranger, died? And was this the reason he was so angry all the time -- not at the world, but at himself?

  There was one more letter to read. A letter written by Alexander to the King ... one that was obviously never sent.

  Chapter 45

  “An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.”

  -- Prime Minister Winston Churchill

  There was one letter remaining. A letter written by Alexander to the King ... one that was obviously never sent. Kay felt incredibly guilty for reading these letters. But it was almost as if she were reading a novel, rather than snippets from someone’s life. Her feelings of guilt kept Kay from reading all three letters in one sitting. It really wasn’t any more respectable to read one per night, but somehow it seemed like less of an invasion of privacy that way.

  As a doctor, she rationalized that it was important to understand the patient and what makes him tick. This way, she could treat him holistically and not just one body part at a time. So she opened the last letter that Alexander wrote to the King, not long after receiving the letter from Charlotte.

  25 January, 1943

  Dear George,

  You asked me to stay out of touch, but I feel compelled to write you one last letter and let you know how life is treating me.

  Divorce is final. Easy come, easy go, as they say.

  You are correct about Merrifield. It’s lovely and quite comfortable. Perhaps just a wee bit too large since no one visits. I see only the few servants you were so generous to provide. And my annual stipend will be more than enough to live on, considering I go nowhere and do nothing day after day, night after endless night. Life is just a bowl of cherries. Might as well be dead.

  But instead of me, sixteen innocent young men are dead. I will never understand why, out of all the men on that transport, I am the one who survived. In truth, a part of me died on that aircraft too. I made a stupid, reckless decision in the heat of battle and ruined countless lives. Theirs, that of their families, mine, and our family’s. No one will ever know how very sorry I am.

  Best regards,

  Your Cousin, Alexander

  A teardrop fell on the letter and spread out on the paper causing the ink to run. Kay gasped, realizing that she ruined the letter. She set it on the nightstand, willing it to dry quickly so she could put it back in the envelope. She covered her face with her hands and cried.

  Chapter 46

  It had been four days since Cathy last saw Michael. Four very long days. She felt like she was going to go crazy if she went another day without him. She hated how dependent on him she’d become, but she didn’t know how to undo the attachment. Maybe time would be the cure. Out of sight, out of mind. Right? Or did his absence make her heart grow fonder of him?

  Today, Cathy was serving lunch to the personnel on base, just as she did every day. But something was different today. She was starting to see many faces that she hadn’t seen in several days. And it was more crowded once again.

  They were back! All the soldiers who left were finally back from wherever they had gone.

  Cathy took her apron off and left right in the middle of lunch service. Maggie called after her but Cathy kept on going. She ran until she reached Michael’s barracks where a man was unpacking his duffel bag.

  “Michael?”

  Joe turned around and faced Cathy. “Oh. Hi Cathy.”

  “Where is he?”

  “Where’s who?”

  “Michael! Where’s Michael?” Cathy demanded.

  “Oh. We just got back from special combat training. He went to take a shower.”

  Practically before Joe even finished his sentence, Cathy was off again. She ran as fast as she could from the men’s dormitory to the outdoor showers. All the stalls were in use and there was a line of men waiting their turn.

  She called his name. “Michael? Michael! Are you here?”

  From inside one of the shower stalls, Michael peered over the chin-high canvas. “Cathy? Is that you?”

  Cathy looked up and saw Michael looking at her. She went around the stalls, found the opening to the one Michael was in, and she barged right in, not caring that he was naked and wet. Michael was shocked. “Cathy, what are you doing?”

  She put her hands on the sides of his face and pulled him toward her, kissing him long, hard, and deep. The soldiers waiting outside the stalls whistled and shouted “Way to go, Mike!” and “I’m next!”

  Inside the shower stall, the water from the shower head rained down on them. Michael wrapped Cathy in his arms, and quickly became aroused as he got lost in the kiss. But Cathy wasn’t quite as lost in it as Michael. She broke off the kiss and promptly slapped his face. She pointed her finger at him. “Don’t you ever leave me again without telling me where you’re going!” She turned and left the stall, leaving Michael with his cheek stinging, feeling perplexed, yet strangely happy.

  Chapter 47

  The next day, Kay pulled herself together to face Alexander. At this point, she knew way too much about him, way more than she should. But it explained so much. It explained everything about him.

  When she entered his room downstairs, James was finishing giving his master a shave. Kay felt her cheeks warm when she saw how handsome he looked, freshly combed and shaven. She couldn’t help but smile.

  Alexander saw Kay watching him. “Better, yes?” He seemed to be looking for her approval.

  “You look like your old self.” Ugh. Now that she had more clarity about who his “old self” was, she wished she didn’t say that. Was every statement she made going to seem awkward now? “How are you feeling?”

  “Not bad, but I’d like the nurse’s assessment. You tell me.”

  Kay sighed. Getting him to acknowledge her as a doctor was a lost cause. She walked to the foot of his bed and touched his ankle, squeezing it here and stroking it there. “Swelling is down. It doesn’t feel warm anymore either. You’re well on the road to recovery.”

  “Excellent,” Alexander exclaimed. “Now then, when can I w
alk on it?”

  Kay shrugged. “It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to start putting weight on it today, so you don’t stiffen up too much. Do you think you’re up to it?”

  “Indeed!” Alexander sounded almost chipper, as he sat up and started to lift himself off the bed.

  “Wait, let me help you.” Kay went to Alexander’s side and put her arm around his waist. He put his arm around her shoulder for leverage and she helped him stand up. “How does that feel?” From her point of view, it felt wonderful to have his arm around her, but she waited to hear what he thought.

  “Hurts a tad,” he noted, “but I can handle pain. Let’s walk. I need some fresh air.”

  Kay helped Alexander walk through the house, out the door and into the gardens. Alexander was limping, but he wasn’t complaining.

  “Are you putting on a brave face or are you really doing okay?” Kay looked at Alexander’s profile as they walked, his face was close enough to kiss.

  “Doing alright. I do believe you’ve managed to heal me.”

  “The body heals itself for the most part. I just helped it along a bit.” They reached the gazebo in the garden and went in.

  “The body, perhaps. What about the soul?” Alexander asked poignantly.

  “Pardon?” Kay wasn’t sure she heard him correctly. She helped get him situated on the bench and she sat down beside him.

  “You’re a kind person, Kay. I was just wondering if you have anything in your medical bag to heal a broken soul.” He turned to look at her and he searched her eyes.

  Something was very different about Alexander today. He seemed like a completely different man, as if his spirit was healing along with his ankle. He was waiting for an answer to his question, but she wasn’t sure what to say. She knew she was staring just a little too long and propriety was telling her to break the gaze, but she couldn’t. “I would if I could.” Kay meant that sincerely.

  Alexander stunned Kay by taking her hand, the first physical contact between them that wasn’t professional. Gentle as it was, his touch sent a shockwave through her whole body. Her head started to spin and she wasn’t quite sure where she was anymore. “You’ve put up with quite a lot from me and you didn’t need to,” he said softly. “I’m grateful.”

  “You don’t need to thank me,” Kay said quietly, trying to compose herself. The warmth of his hand holding hers was giving her goosebumps. She wondered if he noticed.

  “Why did you? Why have you been so kind to me?”

  Kay realized that Alexander was asking the question for a very specific reason. The way he was looking at her and holding her hand was unmistakable. Until this minute, she had no idea that he was attracted to her too.

  “I ... um ... I seem to recall that I wasn’t always as patient as maybe I should have been.” Kay laughed lightly, trying to cover her nervousness.

  “You may not believe this, Kay, but I rather enjoy it when you put me in my place.”

  Kay raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

  Alexander nodded. “It’s a nice change of pace from being kowtowed to by sycophants. Quite honestly, you’ve been kinder to me than anyone has been in a very long while.” He looked deeply into her eyes as if he was trying to read her thoughts, or get her to admit something. “Why?”

  Kay swallowed hard. “I’m not sure. I guess it’s because I’m starting to understand you. I’m not sure I can put it into words.”

  Alexander touched Kay’s chin as his eyes moved from her hair to her cheek, to her nose and her mouth, and back up to her eyes. “I don’t think we need words.”

  He leaned closer to her and softly kissed her lips. Softly yes, but it still managed to take Kay’s breath away. It lasted for a full minute and Kay thought it was the most sensual kiss of her life. She opened her eyes as Alexander pulled back. He took a long look at her and pushed her hair from her face with his fingertips. “God, you’re so beautiful.” He kissed her again, only this time the kiss was deeper and not nearly as chaste.

  Chapter 48

  “It was just a kiss,” Cathy said matter-of-factly as Michael watched her prepping lunch in the kitchen. The other Commissary workers hadn’t arrived yet, and he knew his time was limited. He’d have to leave as soon as they showed up.

  “No, it was more than that. Admit it.” He smiled mischievously as he remembered her barging into his shower stall, seeing him wet and naked as a jaybird, and kissing him so hard that her teeth crashed into his. He never taught her to kiss like that. It was all instinct. “You came into the shower stall and kissed me, Cathy.”

  Cathy was unreasonably happy to have Michael back on base, but she was playing it cool. “I know what I did, Michael. So what?”

  “So what?? That was not a ‘so what’ kind of kiss. Admit it, Cathy. You’re in love with me.”

  “Am not,” she answered without thinking.

  “Are too. ... Hey,” he touched her shoulder to get her to look at him. “It’s okay. You don’t have to hide it, Cathy. I told you how I feel. It’s okay for you to say it too.”

  Cathy couldn’t handle the intensity of looking into Michael’s eyes. Looking at him, she knew he was right. She felt more for him than she was willing to reveal, so she looked back at her food prep area. “There’s nothing to say, Michael. You know what my goal is.”

  “If you really wanted to be with you-know-who, you’d be with him,” Michael answered cockily. “But you’re not with him. You’re with me.”

  Cathy blushed. “That’s only because I’m not ready to be with him yet.”

  “You know something, Cathy? Yes, you are. You’re as ready as you’ll ever be,” Michael told her. “So if you really wanted him, you’d be with him. But you don’t, and I know why. It’s because you’re in love with me, not him.”

  Michael touched a nerve. She never really considered that possibility, but what he said made sense. The way she felt when Michael looked at her, when he touched her, the way his kisses left her wanting more, the way she missed him like crazy when he was gone. He was in her thoughts all the time. And even when she was with him, it was never enough. Being in love was exactly the way Michael described it.

  She shook her head vigorously. He was right. And she hated it when Michael was right. And she hated having emotions she couldn’t control. This was not part of her grand plan. She needed to take control of the situation, so she did what she always did. She covered up her emotions. “I’m no more in love with you than you are with me,” she said coldly.

  “Aha! So you admit it!”

  What?? Was he reading her mind? How did he know her so well? “No! I admit nothing.” She had to keep her eyes on the prize, so she forced herself to think about David. “What I meant is that I don’t believe you’re in love with me. I don’t think you even know the meaning of the word.”

  “Seriously? Of course I do. I carved our initials inside a heart on a tree, our kissing tree. Remember? ‘M and C’?”

  “That was a sweet gesture, Michael, but it doesn’t prove a thing.” She was working hard at downplaying their relationship.

  “Oh I see,” Michael smirked. “You want me to prove it. You want me to prove I’m really in love with you.” His wheels started turning. “Hmmm. I accept the challenge.”

  “I don’t want you to prove anything, Michael,” Cathy said sweetly, not wanting to hurt his feelings any more than she already had. “I just want you to go now. My coworkers will be here any minute and you’re not supposed to be back here. You’re going to get me in trouble.”

  Michael thought for a minute and nodded. “Okay, I’ll go. I don’t want to get you in any trouble.” He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “But I’m going to prove it.” He pointed a finger at her. “I’m going to prove to you that I’m really in love with you. You’ll see.”

  Cathy smiled warmly and waved at him. “Bye Michael.”

  Michael left the kitchen a minute before Maggie and Suze arrived.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~

  The idea c
emented in his mind and he took long strides through the Quad on his way to the administrative office. When he walked past the hospital he heard someone call his name.

  “Michael!” It was Mary. “Michael wait!” This was like deja vu. Michael kept walking, but Mary caught up and linked her arm with his. “Hey.”

  Michael smiled politely. “Hi Mary. Sorry, I can’t stop and talk.”