Not My Hero: Black Mountain Academy

by Michelle Heard

  “I’m sure it will taste great,” Cassie encourages me before she goes to sit by the table.

  When I’m done, I place the bacon and eggs on the table. Taking a breath, I gather the guts to ask, “Cassie, when you’re not busy, can you teach me how to cook?”

  A smile instantly widens around her mouth. “Of course. You should stand with me when I make dinner. That way, you’ll learn faster.”

  Colton brings our coffee, and we sit down.

  “That will be great,” I reply.

  I wait for Colton and Cassie to grab some bacon and eggs first, and then I add some to my plate.

  I watch Cassie take a bite of the eggs and anxiously wait to see if she likes it. She gives me a reassuring smile. “It’s delicious.”

  Feeling happy, I dig into my own breakfast.

  Shopping with Colton and Cassie is surreal. They’re just as excited as me and keep pulling me from one item to the next.

  We settled on a gray bedspread and matching pillowcases.

  I’m secretly happy because it looks like Colton’s.

  Cassie chose a beautiful white dressing table and matching stool while Colton found some fairy lights. He said he’ll put them up around the mirror that comes with the dressing table.

  Standing in the middle of the store, I glance around me. I notice all the families, and then my eyes turn back to Colton and Cassie, and for the first time, it feels like I’m part of something bigger. I’m no longer just surviving.

  I belong.

  I have a family.

  Cassie’s eyes land on a huge dreamcatcher, and she points at it excitedly while shouting, “Brie, what do you think of this for your wall?”

  I let out a burst of laughter and walk over to where she is. “It’s pretty.” The dreamcatcher looks like it’s been crocheted with ribbons hanging from it.

  “Do you want it?” Cassie asks.

  I glance at her and feeling that they’ve gotten me so much already, I say, “Maybe another time. You’ve already bought me so much.”

  Cassie begins to pout, and my eyes grow huge. Then she actually whines, “But there’s still a whole bunch of things I wanted to get.” She pulls a cute face, and I begin to chuckle. “Please.”

  “How can I say no now?” I laugh.

  “So we’re taking the dreamcatcher?” she asks, excitement all over her face.

  “Yeah.”

  I help Cassie put the dreamcatcher in a cart, and then we make our way over to where Colton is looking at floating shelves.

  When he notices us, he says, “I can put a couple of these on the sides of the bed. You can use them for books or whatever you want.”

  I glance at Cassie, and she instantly bats her eyelashes at me, all cutely saying, “We should definitely get them.”

  Grinning at her, I shake my head, then mumble, “I can’t say no when your mom pulls that face.”

  Colton lets out a chuckle. “Yeah? You should see how cute you look when you do that.”

  Huh?

  “When did I pull a face like that?”

  Colton’s gaze snaps to me as if he just realized he said that to me, and then he begins to load shelves in the cart, mumbling, “While we were watching a movie.” Then he walks away.

  “Oh my gosh,” Cassie exclaims, drawing my attention. “Brie, aren’t those the same color blue as the wall?”

  She’s pointing at a throw and tiny pillows. I walk closer with her and run my fingers over the fabric. “It’s so soft. They look the same color.”

  Cassie grabs a throw and says, “Take two pillows.”

  Knowing she’ll get her way if I try to decline, I pick them up and carry them to the cart that’s reaching its capacity.

  I look at everything they’ve gotten me so far, and emotion wells in my chest because not once did they make me feel like a burden like my mother would’ve.

  “Thank you so much,” I say to Cassie before I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around her. “You’re really the best mother ever.”

  Cassie hugs me back and presses a kiss to my cheek before we pull apart. Her eyes shine, and there’s a wide smile on her face. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. It makes me happy seeing you happy.”

  Colton and Cassie are making this birthday unforgettable, not because of the things they’re buying me, but because of the way they’re doing it. They make me feel special.

  As long as I live, I’ll never forget the past two weeks, even if the worst happens, and we go our separate ways. Cassie and Colton will always be the first people who loved me.

  The first I loved.

  COLTON

  After we carry everything into the house, I go get my toolkit and get started on putting the shelves up.

  I position the first one and glance over my shoulder at Brie. “Is it good here, or do you want it higher?”

  She walks closer. “A little lower, or I won’t be able to reach it.”

  My eyes dart between her and the wall, and then I mutter, “True.” I glance at the other wall. “And you want the dreamcatcher on that wall, right?”

  “Please.” I grin at her happy face, and while I’m drilling holes in the wall, Brie goes to get the vacuum cleaner so she can clean the mess I’m making.

  Mom comes into the room and says, “Brie, I’m going to wash your new bedding. Okay?”

  “Let me help.” Brie drops the vacuum cleaner and goes to help remove everything from the packaging before she comes back to continue cleaning.

  When I’m done, and the dreamcatcher and all the shelves are up, I assemble the dressing table and stool. It’s already past seven when I’m done.

  I go wash my hands, and as I pass Brie’s room, I say, “Come on. Time to make dinner.”

  “Huh?” She catches up to me as I walk down the hallway. “You know I can’t cook.”

  “Yeah, that’s why I’m giving you your first lesson tonight.”

  “Really?” A wide smile stretches over her face. “What are you going to make?”

  “Nachos.”

  Brie’s eyes shine with excitement as we walk into the kitchen. “Get the cheddar and Colby Jack cheese from the fridge.”

  I open the bag of tortilla chips and empty it on a baking tray. When Brie comes to stand next to me, I say, “I got these at the local store because they’re fried-in-house. They’re thicker and sturdier.”

  I keep explaining what I’m doing as I place the chips in the oven so they can pre-bake while I prepare the ground beef, beans, and jalapenos for toppings.

  Once we’re done, and the nachos are back in the oven so the cheese can melt, I grin at Brie. “How was your first cooking lesson.”

  “Information overload,” the words pop from her. “I need to write it all down.”

  I let out a chuckle. “You’ll get the hang of it.”

  “How did you learn to cook?” Brie asks.

  My smile wavers. To keep busy, I pour us each a glass of coke while I say, “After we moved here, it was either I learn how to cook or live off fast food.”

  Her eyes dart up to mine, and a sad expression tightens her features. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’ll learn how to cook quickly, so I can help with dinner.”

  She’s so damn adorable. I want to squeeze her tightly, but instead, keep still and say, “You did great with breakfast this morning. I’m sure you’ll learn fast.”

  A grin spreads over her face, and again I’m filled with the urge to hug the hell out of her.

  Trying to keep my cool, I ask, “How’s your birthday so far?”

  Her grin widens, and a light of happiness makes her eyes shine so clear, I can only stare.

  God, can I fall any deeper for her?

  “It’s amazing.” She lets out an excited squeak and suddenly darts forward, throwing her arms around my neck. There’s zero hesitation on my part, and I wrap her up in a tight hug, lifting her off her feet. Then she whispers, “Thank you so much.” I feel her words in the deepest part of me.

>   “You’re welcome,” I murmur before setting her back on her feet.

  Turning to the oven, I remove the nachos. “Let’s eat.”

  Chapter 21

  BRIE

  Dear Diary

  Hey

  Dear me,

  Happy birthday! You made it to eighteen.

  Today was unforgettable. Not because of all the gifts I got, but because of Colton and Cassie. I’m so lucky to have met them.

  And Colton. I’m so in love with him. My heart keeps beating out of my chest, and I get all sweaty. Whenever I’m near him, it feels like my stomach is going to will explode from all the flutters.

  He’s my first love. Even though I hope he’ll return my feelings one day, I’ll still love him if he doesn’t.

  Anyway, I just wanted to write down how I feel because I can’t share it with him. Yet. Maybe one day.

  B.

  Every day I wake up and see the shelves and dreamcatcher Colton put up, I smile.

  I never thought life could be so good.

  Since my room was redecorated, I only get to sleep on the couch with Colton on Friday and Saturday nights. We usually watch a movie before talking until we fall asleep.

  Where I used to dread weekends, I now live for them.

  Unfortunately, it’s only Thursday. After getting ready for school, I go down to the kitchen, where I find Cassie preparing oatmeal for us.

  “Morning,” I say, making my way over to the coffee pot. “Can I make you a cup?”

  “Morning, sweetie.” She smiles at me. “Yes, please.”

  With every day that passes, I become more comfortable with Cassie. Mostly when I tense up around her and panic begins to tighten my insides, I just take deep breaths and push through. It’s getting easier, though.

  I place a cup of coffee on the counter near Cassie and then sip on my own.

  Colton comes into the kitchen just as Cassie scoops three bowls of oatmeal.

  “Did you sleep well?” he asks while fixing himself a cup of coffee.

  “Yeah, and you?”

  He shoots me a grin. “Like a baby.”

  “Babies don’t sleep,” Cassie says with a chuckle.

  Just as we’re about to sit down to eat, my phone begins to ring. Frowning, I pull it out of my jacket’s pocket, and not recognizing the number, I answer, “Brie speaking.”

  “Where the hell are you?” a man’s voice snaps over the line.

  Frowning, I glance at Colton and Cassie, who are both staring at me. “Excuse me? I think you have the wrong number.”

  “You’re talking with Bill Weinstock,” he practically growls.

  It takes a couple of seconds for the name to sink in, and a gasp escapes my lips. It’s my grandfather.

  Why would he call me?

  “Some daughter you are! Serena was found dead two days ago. Where the hell have you been? Your mother died falling down the stairs. I’m blaming…”

  The rest of his words fade as the shocking realization ripples over me.

  My mother’s dead?

  Relief washes over me.

  She won’t be able to hurt me anymore. I’m free of her.

  Instantly guilt creeps into my heart.

  Oh, God.

  How can I feel relieved when my mother is dead? What kind of person does that make me?

  A war erupts inside me as my emotions burst into a chaotic mess.

  “Are you listening!” Bill snaps angrily, and it yanks me back to the call. “Why my daughter put up with you, I’ll never understand. The funeral will be held at the Methodist Church on Monday. The least you can do is pay your respects. Make sure you’re dressed appropriately as the press will be present. And keep your mouth shut. If you do or say anything to damage my reputation, you’ll regret the day you were born.”

  The call cuts, leaving me with nothing but emptiness on the other side of the line. Slowly my hand drops from my ear to hang limply next to my side.

  “Brie?” Colton comes closer, and my eyes lock on him. “Who was that?”

  What will Colton think if he knows the first thing I felt was relief? Will he hate me?

  “My…” Sounding hoarse, I clear my throat before I try again, “My Grandfather.”

  Colton’s features instantly tighten. “What did he want?”

  “Wait,” Cassie says, and she comes to take hold of my arm. “Sit, Brie. You’re as pale as a ghost.”

  I plop down in the chair, and my gaze drifts to the floor. “My mother died.”

  “Oh!” Cassie takes a seat at the table and reaching for me, she gives my hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry for your loss, sweetie.”

  Loss.

  Is it a loss, though?

  I shut my eyes against the thoughts because they feel wrong. So very wrong.

  “She fell down the stairs,” I automatically continue. “The funeral is on Monday. He said it will be held at the Methodist Church.”

  Colton crouches down next to me, placing his hand over mine. “Are you okay?” He pauses for a moment, then hurries to say, “Stupid question. Sorry.”

  I begin to shake my head, but then my body stills again as I mutter, “How am I supposed to feel?” My eyes lift to Colton’s. “I don’t know… how…” I shake my head again.

  “It’s okay to not feel anything right now, Brie,” Cassie says, her voice filled with empathy.

  My chin begins to tremble from the guilt, and it’s hard to whisper the words, “I feel…” Lifting a trembling hand, I cover my mouth as the shock hits.

  My mother’s dead.

  I didn’t even say goodbye when I left.

  My mind begins to race, bringing up her face as I try to recall anything good. Instead, my memory is filled with animosity.

  ‘Who breaks an arm from a couple of kicks? You’re an embarrassment.’

  ‘It’s just wood and hair.’

  ‘Damned disgrace! That’s all you are.’

  ‘I should’ve drowned you at birth.’

  Colton stands up and pulling me to my feet, his arms tightly envelop me.

  My body jerks and I quickly wrap my arms around him as I gasp, “I can’t remember anything good.” I pull back a little and feel horrible as I admit, “I… I feel… relieved.” Saying the words out loud makes me feel like a monster. “I’m an awful person, right?”

  Bringing his hands up, Colton frames my face. “You’re not, Brie.” His eyes capture mine, and I cling to the look of understanding, softening his gaze. “I’d feel relieved as well.”

  “I think you should both stay home,” Cassie says as she gets up. “I’ll let the school know.”

  Colton holds me while Cassie makes the call. When she’s done, she turns her gaze to us. “Why don’t you both change out of your uniforms.” Her eyes go to the untouched bowls of oatmeal. “I’ll clear the table.”

  Colton keeps an arm around me as we leave the kitchen. After walking into my room, Colton rubs his hand gently up and down my back. “Change into something comfortable. Okay?”

  I nod, and when he leaves the room, shutting the door, I can only manage to stare blankly in front of me.

  I’m more upset about the relief I feel than the fact that my mother is dead.

  All she did was break me down. She buried me in abhorrence and cruelty. Not once did she care how I felt.

  ‘I’ll drown you.’

  ‘I’ll throw you off Devil’s Bluff.’

  How am I supposed to mourn the person who made my life a living hell?

  COLTON

  I change into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and rush out of my room.

  Knocking on Brie’s door, I wait a moment before I slowly push the door open. She’s still standing right where I left her, just staring at nothing.

  Walking to her dresser, I open the drawers until I find her sweatpants and pull them out. I also grab a shirt and place the items on the bed before taking hold of Brie’s arm. “Come on. Change into these. I’ll wait right outside your door.”

&n
bsp; Her actions are lethargic as she nods while shrugging out of her jacket.

  I go to stand outside Brie’s room, feeling worried about her. I wish I could just wrap her up in my heart and stop anything from ever hurting her again.

  This sucks.

  Mom comes up the stairs, and when she reaches me, she whispers, “How are you holding up?”

  I shrug. “I’m just worried about Brie. I wish I could make it all better.”

  “I know.” Mom squeezes my arm lovingly. “All you can do is to be there for her.”

  I nod just as Brie’s door opens. Both Mom and my gazes turn to Brie. She first glances at Mom then at me, and her eyes are filled with the same pain they always carried when I met her.

  Brie’s mother dying, must’ve yanked the scabs off all her wounds.

  Mom reacts before I can and wraps an arm around Brie’s shoulders. With everything fresh in Brie’s mind, I worry it will make her panic, but instead, she turns into Mom as her face crumbles.

  “Shh… everything will be okay,” Mom coos.

  A sob tears from Brie, and my muscles tighten with the need to comfort her. Guiding Brie back into her room, Mom keeps whispering soothing words. I hear her whisper, “Lie down, sweetie.”

  No matter how much I want to try to help Brie, deep down, I know she needs my mom more.

  I watch them lie down, and Brie curls up into a ball in Mom’s arms. Having to do something, I say, “I’ll make us some coffee.”

  Walking to the kitchen, I keep trying to think of a way to make Brie feel better. I make the coffee and placing the mugs on a tray, I carry it to Brie’s room and set it down on the bedside table.

  Screw this.

  I walk around the bed to the side Brie’s on and lie down behind her. I place my arm over both of them and press a kiss to Brie’s shoulder blade.

  God, this is unbearable. Seeing someone you love with all your heart hurt so much is just… torture.

  “Cry, sweetie. Let it all out,” Mom keeps whispering.

  The sun slowly inches its way through the room as we hold Brie.