The Girl He Left Behind

by Patricia Kay

  It didn’t take long to reach her house. For a moment, they stood awkwardly on the sidewalk. Quickly, before she could change her mind, she said, “Would you like to stay and talk awhile?”

  He smiled. “I’d like that very much.”

  So they climbed the steps to the porch, and she invited him to sit on the swing. “I have some freshly made lemonade. Can I tempt you with a glass?”

  “Sounds great.”

  Why had she invited him to stay? she asked herself as she walked indoors. Wouldn’t it have been better to simply thank him and say good-night?

  But you didn’t want to say good-night, did you?

  No, she hadn’t. She’d finally relaxed enough to enjoy being in his company, and she was curious about him. There were all kinds of things she wanted to ask him, and in the privacy of her porch, with no prying eyes to watch them, she could. She might never again have this opportunity, so she’d taken it.

  She put the glasses of lemonade on a small tray and added a plate of peanut-butter cookies, about the only kind she could make that actually turned out well. She’d baked them thinking the twins would be home tonight, and since they weren’t, she might as well put them to good use. Especially since, if Mayor Ferguson hadn’t interrupted them, she would have recommended the really excellent banana-cream pie at Dinah’s.

  When she rejoined Adam on the porch, he smiled. “Peanut-butter cookies! I haven’t had homemade ones since I was a kid.”

  “I know. They remind me of being a kid, too.” Eve sat next to him on the swing. “So I read that your band is starting a big autumn tour and your first date will be in Austin in September.”

  “That’s the plan.”

  “I was actually thinking of trying to get tickets.”

  “Were you? I’ll give you passes if you want to come.”

  “Oh, that would be great. Thank you.” She hesitated, then added, “I’m really proud of you, Adam. You’ve done so well.”

  “Thanks. There’ve been some rough patches, but overall, I’m happy with the way things have gone. And what about you? Did you go to college like you planned?”

  “Yes, but not exactly the way I’d planned. I could only go part-time because I had the twins, so it took me about six years to finish.”

  “Twins? I didn’t know that.”

  “Yes, a boy and a girl. Natalie and Nathan.” Even saying their names to him caused her heart to flutter alarmingly.

  “How old are they?”

  “Um, they’re eleven.”

  He looked over at her, and she wondered what he was thinking.

  “You married that guy who was always hanging around your family’s house, didn’t you? That friend of your family’s.”

  “Bill Kelly. Our parents were best friends.”

  “I always thought he was lookin’ to score with you.”

  Eve had sensed the same thing, even though Bill had never said anything until after Adam was gone. And even then, he probably would have bided his time, thinking she was too young, but she was such a mess and so vulnerable, he had seen his chance and he’d taken it.

  “You married him almost right away,” Adam said.

  “Not right away. It was...about three months later.” She had nothing to feel guilty about. After all, Adam was the one who had left. Adam was the one who had never returned her calls.

  “Did you love him?”

  “That...that’s not a fair question.”

  “I think it’s fair. I loved you, Eve. I thought you loved me. We were going away together. And three months later you marry someone else? Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”

  I don’t owe you anything.

  “You never called me.” She couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice.

  “You were the one who didn’t show up that night.”

  “I didn’t think you’d go without me!” she cried. “And I did try to call you. I tried several times, but the number just rang and rang. And I didn’t know how else to get in touch with you.”

  He put his now-empty glass down on the little table next to the swing and stared at her. “You tried to call me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “I—” She stopped. What could she say? It was too late to say anything.

  “Why, Eve? Were you sorry? What?”

  “I—I just wanted to talk to you.”

  “When did you call?”

  “What does it matter?” She could feel tears welling. Dammit. She would not cry. She wouldn’t!

  “It matters ’cause I didn’t get any calls.”

  “Well, I called. Not right away.”

  “When?” he pressed.

  “I don’t know exactly!” But she did know exactly. She remembered the day almost to the hour. “It...it was about three or four weeks later.”

  “That explains it.”

  “Explains what?”

  “I no longer had my cell phone. I ran out of money and had to give up the phone. Couldn’t afford it. It was a couple of weeks before I could get another one.”

  “But the number rang!”

  “It just sounded as if it was ringing. You were calling a dead line.”

  “I see.” She thought about the misery she’d felt then, when he’d never answered his phone. The heartache and then the panic.

  “You never answered my question.”

  “What question?”

  “Were you sorry? Is that why you were calling me?”

  Eve sighed deeply. “It really doesn’t matter now, Adam.” She thought he was going to keep pushing her to answer him, but he didn’t. Instead, all the fight seemed to leave him and he slumped back and closed his eyes.

  Eve felt tears forming again. Oh, she hated how she cried so easily. Don’t let yourself feel sorry for him. He has a wonderful life, everything he ever dreamed of. And you? You have the twins. Don’t forget that.

  After a long moment of quiet, he opened his eyes and said, “Were you happy, Eve?”

  “Happy enough, I guess.”

  “But you didn’t stay together.”

  “No. We divorced four years ago.”

  “And you have two children.”

  “Yes.”

  “Where are they? Don’t they live with you?”

  “Half the time they do. Bill and I share custody and they’re with him until tomorrow night. What about you? You ever think about marriage? Kids?”

  “I think about it,” he said, “but there’s never been anyone I wanted to marry.” He didn’t say except you.

  They fell into another awkward silence, and Eve decided it was time to steer the conversation into a less sensitive area. Besides, there were lots of things she was curious about. “Tell me about your mom. How’s she doing?”

  “She’s actually doing great. She’ll be moving to rehab on Monday.”

  “I’m glad. I know you’ve been worried.”

  For the next hour or so he told her all about his life: his brothers, his career, his plans for the future. And she told him about her family, her parents—Eve’s dad had died a few months after she and Bill divorced—her career, her doubts and her fears. As they talked, he interjected comments, and many times, he made her laugh. Eve realized he’d always had the ability to make her laugh. She missed it.

  Finally, she realized how late it was. “It’s nearly midnight, Adam,” she said. “And I’m the lector at nine o’clock Mass tomorrow. I have to get to bed.”

  He immediately got up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was so late.”

  “It’s okay. I loved talking to you. It...it’s been great seeing you again.” She stood, too.

  They stood there facing each other, and it seemed like the most natural th
ing in the world for him to lean forward to kiss her good-night. It was probably meant to be a light touching of lips against lips, and it even began that way, but the moment their lips met, Eve felt a charge all the way down to her toes. She knew he felt it, too, because his hands, which had been placed lightly on her shoulders, tightened, and he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.

  When his tongue slipped into her mouth, she wound her arms around his neck and all the longing and pain and love that had been suppressed and denied for twelve long years burst forth into a desire so intense, Eve couldn’t have controlled it even if she’d wanted to.

  And she didn’t want to. What she wanted was more. What she wanted was for him to never stop kissing her. She forgot where she was, where they were. She forgot that anyone passing by could see them against the lit windows. She forgot everything but this man and this moment.

  When they finally broke apart, they were both breathing hard.

  “Eve...” His voice was ragged.

  Oh, my God. “I—I...” What did I do? She stared at him. Swallowed. Her heart was still going like a trip-hammer. “I—I have to go in.” She reached for door handle.

  “Eve, wait.”

  But she evaded his arm, opened the door and without another word, closed it behind her. She was shaking, appalled with the way she’d lost control of herself, appalled with the way she’d acted.

  What was she going to do now?

  And what was he going to do?

  Would he think the way she’d acted tonight meant they could just pick up where they’d left off twelve years ago?

  These questions whirled in her brain as she berated herself for being so weak. But by the time she heard him leave and realized she’d left their glasses and the empty plate outside and retrieved them, she had calmed down and come to a decision.

  It didn’t matter what he thought or what had happened tonight. From now on, she was going to have to be stronger than she’d ever been, because if Adam was wrong for her all those years ago, if a relationship with him was impossible then, it was unthinkable now.

  * * *

  Eve had a hard time falling asleep. Although she kept telling herself the time she’d spent with Adam that evening meant nothing—would certainly lead to nothing—it didn’t seem to make any difference. She couldn’t stop thinking about him: how he’d looked, what he’d said, what he hadn’t said, and especially the kiss he’d given her just before leaving. How could such a kiss—starting as nothing more than a feathery touch—have affected her so strongly, and become so passionate so quickly? Even thinking about it brought on butterflies.

  That she shouldn’t see him again was a given. No matter how she felt about him or he might feel about her, their history alone made seeing him too dangerous. The phrase “playing with fire” was made for this situation, because that was exactly what she would be doing.

  She should never have gone to the shelter. The fact she hadn’t known he’d be there wasn’t an excuse. She’d known he was in town, so she should have avoided any unknown situation. Put her head down and never taken any chance she’d bump into him. It had been stupid to give anyone here any reason to ever connect the two of them. Because if anyone ever put two and two together, ever found out the truth...

  Her heart thumped painfully.

  The truth.

  In her case, it wouldn’t set her free. It would only cause heartache and turmoil. For so many people...

  Why did I ask him to stay? Why didn’t I just thank him for walking me home and say good-night? I knew I shouldn’t spend time with him, yet I did it anyway. Oh, God. Nothing has changed. I still can’t resist him. All my good sense flies out the window when he’s around. Then I do crazy things.

  These thoughts and more tumbled over and over in her mind, keeping her awake long into the night. As a result, she only got about four hours of sleep, and even a hot shower and strong cup of coffee wasn’t enough to make her feel as fresh as she needed to be the following morning. She tried, though. She put on her favorite sleeveless dress—red linen and a matching red headband—and made sure her makeup was flawless. After all, even a sinking ship wanted to look good going down, she thought wryly as she gave herself one last once-over in the mirror.

  Normally, Eve enjoyed serving as a lector at Mass on Sundays. But because of her turbulent night and lack of sleep, she had a hard time concentrating on the readings and knew she wasn’t at her best. Still, somehow she got through the service without making any glaring mistakes. She was doubly glad, because she knew her mother had attended the service. She’d seen Anna going to communion. So she wasn’t surprised to spy her mother standing at the back of the church after Mass. She cringed, though, when she saw the woman standing next to her.

  Alice Fogarty’s eyes were alight as Eve approached the two women, and Eve knew she was in for a grilling about Adam. Sure enough, the first words out of Alice’s mouth were, “Well, here’s your dark-horse daughter now, Anna. I can’t believe she never told you she was such good friends with Adam Crenshaw!”

  Eve’s heart sank. It was going to be even worse than she’d imagined. Pasting a smile on her face, she said levelly, “I’d hardly call us good friends, Alice.” Turning her gaze to her mother, she leaned in for a hug. “We were classmates, Mom,” she said as they drew apart.

  “Well, I didn’t see him singling out any other classmates last night,” Alice said, “and if I’m not mistaken, Todd Winsen was also in your class.”

  Damn the woman. Was there anything she didn’t know about the people in Crandall Lake? Todd Winsen, who was also a volunteer at the shelter and had been there the night before, had indeed been a classmate.

  “Well, wasn’t he?” Alice pressed as the three women headed to the activity center, where coffee and doughnuts were served after each Mass. Eve hadn’t planned to stay, but she knew there was no polite way she could avoid it now, especially since she normally did visit with her mother when they ended up at the same Mass.

  “Yes, he was,” Eve said. Although she would never wish Alice any real harm, maybe the woman could trip and sprain an ankle or something. Anything to get her mind off Adam Crenshaw and on to something else.

  “So c’mon, tell us. What did he have to say? Is his mother okay? How long is he gonna stay in Crandall Lake?”

  During all these questions, Eve’s mother had been suspiciously quiet, and Eve wondered what she was thinking. Knowing her mother and how she valued her privacy, she knew she wouldn’t be adding any fodder to Alice’s penchant for gossip, but she must have a lot of questions of her own, and Eve was sure once they were alone, she would give voice to them. Because it was odd that over the years Eve had never once mentioned Adam. If they really had been “old friends” as he had claimed, it would have been natural to talk about him.

  “He said his mother is doing well and will be moved to rehab tomorrow,” Eve finally said, knowing she had to give Alice some answers if she ever wanted the woman to move on to another subject.

  “That’s good,” Eve’s mother finally said. Her eyes were thoughtful as they met Eve’s. “From what I know of the family, she’s had a rough time.”

  “Maybe that was true early on, before her son became famous,” Alice declared, just as if she had firsthand knowledge of the Crenshaws. “Her husband was a drunk—we all know that. But I’m sure her sons have taken good care of her ever since. She probably has it a lot easier than either you or me, Anna. After all, she now lives in Royal Oaks, and we sure don’t!”

  To Eve’s mother’s credit, she gave Alice a disparaging look. “Even though we’re both widows, neither of us has a hard life, Alice. In fact, we should both count our blessings every day.”

  Eve couldn’t help smiling. That was her mother. Count your blessings. Don’t borrow trouble. Put a good face on it. Anna Cermak loved those old truisms. Had always lived by them. Of
course, Eve herself had been thinking the same thing last night when she’d gone to the shelter, hadn’t she? Another of Anna’s truisms popped into her mind: the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Eve almost laughed, and if she hadn’t been so uncomfortable with the subject, she might have.

  “For heaven’s sake, Anna,” Alice said, “of course I know that. But still...Lucy Crenshaw could have anything she wanted now. I mean, her son must make millions!” Turning back to Eve, she said, “Is he going to stay here in Crandall Lake for a while?”

  “I have no idea. He didn’t discuss his plans.”

  “Well, what did he discuss?”

  Since Eve couldn’t say it was none of Alice’s business, she said, “Not much, Alice. We didn’t talk long. I, um...had to get home.”

  “You must have talked about something,” Alice insisted. “I heard you went to Dinah’s.”

  Eve mentally sighed. She’d hoped to pretend the evening had ended soon after they’d left the shelter, but once again, the small-town grapevine had been hard at work. “Yes. He was hungry.”

  “So what’d he talk about?” Alice pressed.

  Just as Eve was trying to figure out how best to answer, she saw Joe Ferguson walking their way. Not again! She wasn’t sure she had the energy to deal with the mayor again right now, especially not in front of Alice. Oh, why hadn’t Eve pretended not to be feeling well and escaped the whole coffee-and-doughnuts thing entirely this morning? But maybe it wasn’t too late. Standing, she turned to her mother and said, “Mom, I’m really not feeling great and I have to write—”

  “Well, lookee here,” Ferguson boomed as he reached their table. “If it isn’t three of the best-looking women in Crandall Lake. How are y’all doing this fine summer morning, ladies?”

  Eve’s mother turned and smiled. Alice Fogarty looked less charmed as her eyes met Eve’s. Eve took a deep breath, forced another smile and remained standing. “Good morning, Joe. I was just leaving.” Turning back to her mother, she added, “I’ll call you later, Mom, okay? I really do have to go. I still have to write my blog and the twins will be home later.”