The Girl He Left Behind

by Patricia Kay

  “Before you go,” Ferguson said, “I was wondering—did you have a chance to talk to Adam about coming to the Rotary meetin’ on Tuesday?”

  “I’m sorry, Joe. We didn’t discuss it.” Slinging her purse over her shoulder, she waved goodbye and determinedly strode off without waiting for anyone to say anything else.

  As she walked from the activity center to the main church parking lot she berated herself again for ever going to the shelter yesterday. If only she hadn’t seen Adam. If only she hadn’t been forced to talk to him in front of all those people. If only she hadn’t suggested going to Dinah’s Diner.

  But she had. And she did. And no amount of wishing otherwise would change that. As a result, she knew she had a lot more questioning in store for her, from lots of people.

  But mostly from her mother.

  And she’d better be certain she had her answers ready.

  * * *

  Adam didn’t get to the hospital until early afternoon on Sunday. His mother was napping when he walked in, the remains of her lunch still on her tray table. Her room was filled with the fragrance of flowers, most of them from his friends and colleagues in the music business. His gaze lingered on the large and expensive bouquet sent by Bethany. He didn’t have to look at the accompanying card to know what it said:

  Praying for a speedy recovery for you. Love from Bethany

  He shook his head. It was past time to tell Bethany how he felt. It wasn’t fair to keep her thinking their relationship was ever going to go any further. He was turning over options of when and what to say when his phone buzzed. Almost as if he’d conjured her with his thoughts, the incoming text was from Bethany.

  Call me when you get a min. Important!!!

  This was the third text she’d sent in the past hour. He decided since his mother was still sleeping, he would go out to the waiting area and place the call. Otherwise, Bethany would just keep texting, and sooner or later, she’d get tired of doing that and start calling herself.

  She answered on the first ring.

  “I was beginning to think you were purposely ignoring me,” she said.

  “I was in the shower when you first texted, driving when you texted again and in my mother’s hospital room this time.”

  “Why didn’t you call me after you got out of the shower?”

  Adam stifled a sigh. “I’m calling you now. What’s up?”

  “What’s up is you’ve been gone more than a week! And Rolling Stone waits for no man.”

  Now Adam really did sigh. “Just cancel the interview, okay?”

  “Okay? No, it’s not okay. You can’t cancel Rolling Stone. Not if you care about your career.”

  “Look, even they must understand that if a man’s mother has a heart attack, that’s a little bit more important than an interview.”

  “Your mom is fine now, Adam. Don’t pretend she isn’t.”

  “She’s doing better, yes. But she’s not completely out of the woods.”

  “Austin told me she’s moving to rehab tomorrow. That her prognosis is very positive.”

  “When did you talk to Austin?”

  “Last night.”

  Adam frowned. Had Austin called her? Or vice versa?

  “I tried calling you, and when you didn’t pick up, I called him. I mean, I need to be kept in the loop! At least Austin understands that.”

  “I was planning to call you.”

  “When? Next week? Next month?”

  “You know, Bethany, you don’t own me. Just because—”

  “When are you coming home?” she said, interrupting him.

  Although he wanted to lash out at her, Adam knew it was best to count to ten. This was not the time or the place for their overdue conversation. So he kept his voice even. “I don’t know yet. I want to see how my mother does in rehab. And then we have to find a good housekeeper/caretaker for her. None of us want her living on her own any longer.” He thought about saying he actually hoped to persuade his mother to come back to Nashville with him, then thought better of it.

  For a long moment, all he heard was Bethany breathing, and he knew she was probably counting to ten herself. The fair part of him acknowledged she had a right to be angry. When she finally spoke again, her voice was even, as well. “How about if I have the reporter from Rolling Stone come to Crandall Lake to see you?”

  “No. Have him...or her...call me instead. We’ll set something up.”

  “But—”

  “I don’t want anyone coming here. This is my home. It has nothing to do with my career.” The last thing he wanted was some reporter poking around in his past.

  “That’s the most naive thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Bethany said. “Everything in your life has to do with your career!”

  “That’s a sad commentary on celebrity today,” he muttered.

  “It may be sad, but that doesn’t make it any less true.”

  Adam sighed. He could feel another headache coming on. Bethany seemed to have that effect on him more and more lately. “Just have him call me. We’ll work it out. Now I really have to go. We’ll talk tomorrow, after I get my mother settled.”

  He knew, as he disconnected the call, that he’d only postponed the inevitable. He couldn’t help thinking he should have listened to Austin six months ago, when he and Bethany had first started dating. Austin had warned him mixing business with his personal life wasn’t a good idea, but Adam hadn’t paid attention. His brother had been right. Breaking it off with a girlfriend was hard enough. Breaking it off with a girlfriend who was also your publicist was a nightmare. Would he have to get rid of Bethany altogether? Or could they continue to work together? He guessed he wouldn’t know until they actually talked.

  And the sooner, the better.

  Chapter Five

  Bill brought the twins home at six o’clock. “Perfect timing,” Eve told him. “Just finished writing my blog and sending it off.”

  Turning to the children, she said, “Did you guys have fun?”

  “Yes, yes,” they chimed together.

  “It was a great weekend,” Bill said. “What’s on the agenda for them this week?”

  Although Eve disliked the proprietary way he seemed to think he had any say in how she handled her weeks of custody, she understood why he’d asked the question, because school was now officially over for the summer, and she was a working mother. “I’ve enrolled them in the Y’s day camp this week.”

  “Cool!” Natalie said, her gray eyes alight with excitement.

  Nathan dimpled, his grin wide and just as happy as his sister’s. “Outstanding!” he said. Outstanding was his current favorite adjective.

  In that moment, standing there with the father they’d loved and adored from the moment they were born, Eve’s heart clutched. They were such terrific kids, and she loved them so much.

  “Sounds good,” Bill said. “Then, I’ll see you guys Friday night.”

  “No,” Eve said, shaking her head. “They’ll be with me next weekend. You had this weekend, remember?”

  “But it’s Madison’s birthday party next Saturday,” Bill said. Madison was his sister Sheila’s daughter. The family lived in Houston.

  “Mom, we can’t miss Madison’s party!” Natalie said. “We’re going roller-skating.”

  “And we’re all going to Chuck E. Cheese’s after the skating!” Nathan said.

  “And then that night, the girls are having a sleepover,” Natalie said.

  “It’s gonna be outstanding,” Nathan said.

  Eve wanted to cry foul, but she knew, looking at the disappointment on her kids’ faces, that she’d lost before she’d lobbed the first ball. She sighed, looked at Bill. “I forgot.”

  “I’m sorry.” He took her hand, his blue eyes fill
ed with genuine empathy.

  That was the thing about Bill. He really did understand how she felt because he would have felt the same way. Why did he have to be so nice? And so fair? Why couldn’t he be an SOB so she could hate him? But of course, if he’d been an SOB she’d never have married him. And he’d never have offered. It was precisely because of the kind of man he was that he had offered. And that he’d never, not once, thrown the circumstances of that offer into her face—not even when they’d divorced.

  “I know,” she said. “It’s okay. They’ll be ready Friday night. What time?”

  “Five?”

  “All right.”

  The kids gave Bill a hug and kiss, said their goodbyes, and he turned to leave, but not before saying, “Eve? Walk me out?”

  She knew he wanted to talk and didn’t want the kids to hear. What now? she wondered.

  He waited till they’d reached his SUV before saying, “I heard Adam Crenshaw is in town.”

  She stiffened. “Yes.”

  “I also heard about what happened at the shelter last night.”

  Eve guessed she shouldn’t be surprised. Bill had lived in Crandall Lake all his life. Most of his clients lived here, too. Someone who knew him was bound to have told him. She should have expected that.

  “I didn’t know he would be there when I went,” she said, trying not to sound defensive.

  Bill’s eyes were thoughtful as they studied hers.

  She sighed. “Bill, I promise you, he has no idea...”

  Bill nodded. “I only wanted to remind you that we have a deal. He’s never to know.”

  “I know that. I won’t break my promise.”

  “I’m their father.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  For a long moment, they just stared at each other, each remembering that long-ago promise.

  “How long is he staying here?” Bill finally asked.

  “I don’t know. Until his mother is back home and settled, I guess.”

  “Are you planning to see him again?”

  “No. I—I think it’s best if I don’t.” Oh, God. If Bill knew everything that happened last night...

  “Yes. So do I.” He hesitated, then added, “Look, Eve, I know this is hard. I know you probably want to tell him. But you can’t—”

  “I don’t want to tell him! That’s the last thing I want.”

  He studied her for another long moment, then nodded again. “Good. We’re both on the same page, then.”

  As Eve watched her ex drive off, she knew she had no reason to resent Bill for asking about Adam or for reminding her of their long-ago agreement, and yet, down deep, she did.

  Because even though they were divorced, and she was supposedly a free woman, she would never have full control over her life. Her long-ago decision would always hang over her head and impact her future.

  But the twins were secure and happy, and that was the most important thing. She must never forget that.

  * * *

  The rest of the evening was spent fixing dinner, hearing all about the kids’ weekend and watching a couple of television shows together. Because there was no school tomorrow, Eve let the twins stay up until ten, but finally they were settled into bed, she’d heard their prayers and had kissed them good-night.

  Slowly, she walked out to the front porch and sat on the swing. As she gazed out at the moonlight-drenched yard, her thoughts alternated between Adam and the way he still made her feel, and how she had to avoid him from now on, then they’d veer toward Bill and the children. She thought about all the years since the twins had been born. And she finally let her mind drift back to the day that had been hovering at the back of her mind ever since Adam had returned to Crandall Lake.

  The day she had tried never to think about, but couldn’t seem to forget. The day everything had changed.

  July, twelve years earlier...

  He had been gone from Crandall Lake for five weeks. Five weeks in which she’d cried every night and second-guessed herself every day. Down deep, Eve knew she’d done the right thing. All she had to do was look at her parents and see how happy they were, how proud as they prepared for her to enter college, to know she’d had no other choice.

  And yet...

  Adam’s face haunted her.

  What had he thought when she hadn’t shown up? Was he as lonely and miserable as she was? Or had he been angry?

  For days afterward, she’d thought he would call her. Even though she didn’t have a cell phone, he could have called. He’d done it before. Yes, there was always a chance her father would answer, but her father was gone during the day, during the week. No, the reason Adam hadn’t called was because he was probably disgusted with her. He probably thought she didn’t love him enough. He’d been let down by the people who supposedly cared about him all of his life, so it wouldn’t have surprised him to be let down again.

  She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, how much she’d wanted to go away with him. It killed her not to tell him. Not to explain. But what good would explaining do anyway? It wouldn’t change anything. She still couldn’t leave Crandall Lake.

  She thought about him so much she made herself sick. She couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. She was so miserable, she even stopped having her period.

  And then, when he’d been gone five weeks and three days, it happened. She’d just gotten out of the shower and was drying herself off when she winced. Her breasts hurt. Confused, she felt them, and yes, they were tender, and they hurt.

  She stared at them. Swallowed. As the enormity of her thought expanded, her heart began to thud.

  She abruptly sat on the edge of the tub.

  Was it possible?

  Was she pregnant?

  She thought back to the night in May when she had given herself to Adam. Once. Just once. She counted back. Almost nine weeks ago.

  She began to shake. Hail Mary, full of grace, our Lord is with Thee. The words of the prayer were a whisper, a plea, a denial. It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t!

  Please, God. Please, Holy Mother. Please, please, please...

  But no amount of praying changed anything. For three more days, Eve moved through the hours like a zombie. She couldn’t seem to think. Couldn’t do anything but pray. Finally, though, she knew she had to call Adam. She waited until her mother had gone grocery shopping and placed the call. The number rang and rang and rang, but he never answered. Twice more, over the next day, she called. And twice more, there was no answer at all. Not even voice mail.

  Her mother kept asking her what was wrong. Eve kept lying and saying nothing. But sooner or later, she would have to tell her parents. And then what? She would break their hearts.

  Even years later, she wasn’t sure what she’d have done if Bill hadn’t shown up at their house the following afternoon and asked Eve’s mother if he could take Eve out for a ride.

  “I have to drive over to San Marcos to see a client, and I thought Eve might want to visit the campus. You know, check out her dorm.”

  Anna had been delighted. Ellen Ruth Kelly, Bill’s mother, was Anna’s best friend, and the two families had been close for what seemed like forever. The Kellys were Eve’s godparents, and her parents were Bill’s. Bill was almost like a son.

  So Eve, glad to escape her mother’s scrutiny, went with Bill. But seeing the campus, knowing she probably wouldn’t be going to college that fall, had been her downfall. She’d tried to hide her unhappiness, but Bill knew her too well.

  “What’s wrong, Eve?” he asked, putting his arm around her shoulder.

  She shook her head. What could she say?

  “C’mon. You can tell me.”

  His gentleness was her undoing. She began to cry, her entire body shaking. Alarmed, he guided her to a shady bench and they sat. He
kept his arm around her, and she allowed the comfort it afforded. The whole story came tumbling out. When she finished, she felt drained. “I don’t know what to do,” she said, closing her eyes. She waited for his censure.

  “I do,” he said.

  Her eyes opened and she stared at him.

  “Marry me,” he said. “Marry me and let me be your baby’s father.”

  “But, Bill, how—?”

  “I love you, Eve. I’ve always loved you. You know that, right?”

  She shook her head.

  “You must have known. Why do you think I’ve kept coming by? Wanting to see you?”

  “We...we’re friends,” she stammered. “Our families...”

  “I’ve loved you for years. I was just waiting until you got older.”

  “You...you love me?”

  “I do. And I want to marry you. I want to be the father of your children.”

  When she would have protested, he put his hand over her mouth.

  “Don’t say no. This is the perfect solution. The boy, the baby’s father, he’s gone, right?”

  “Y-yes, he’s gone,” she whispered. She had not told him Adam’s name or where Adam had gone, but she knew she would have to.

  “And he didn’t return your phone calls.”

  “No.”

  “Well, then...this is the perfect solution. It’s the perfect time, too. I’m out of college now and have a good job. I can take care of you. We’ll get married right away. Our baby will come a little early, but our parents won’t care. They’ve wanted us to get together for years. They’ll be happy.”

  “I—I don’t know...”

  “Of course you do. This is meant to be.”

  It didn’t take long for Eve to see Bill was right. Marrying him was the perfect solution.

  A little less than seven months later, their twins were born. Nathan James and Natalie Jean Kelly. Bill’s name was on the birth certificate.

  He was their father.

  And always would be.

  * * *

  “Eve, I know you’ve been worried about the layoffs.” Joan Wallace, the owner of the Crandall Lake Courier, leaned back in her chair.