The Return (A Decision of Love Book 1)

by Tzar, Anastasia

  “I love you.” He whispered in my ear. His mouth pressed against my lips, hard and demanding, bringing order back into my life. “Let’s have T.V. dinners. We’ll call it an early night,” he murmured against my lips.

  “Ha! Do you think Adam will let me get away with feeding him processed food? Dinner’s almost ready. I just have to warm the chicken.”

  Dan ran his hand across my bottom, lingering long enough for me to squirm before he gave it a pat.

  He leaned against the counter, his eyes watching me while I prepared dinner. There was something about Dan in a suit with his tie loosened that made my knees weak. I melted just looking at him.

  “Where’s Vivie?”

  Vivie was our three-year-old daughter.

  “Don’t you remember, she’s staying at Nana’s for the night? My mother thinks she needs more culture. She’s decided to take her on a whirlwind tour of every museum Chicago has to offer.” My hand patted his chest. “Don’t look so frightened. Hilda is with them. She’ll at least remember to feed her.”

  “Laura, did I know this? Did you sneak this one past me the other night when your mouth was wrapped around my dick?”

  “Oh, Dan, I’m disappointed in you. Do you really think I’m that underhanded?”

  He swept me into his arms, nuzzling my neck, causing a ball of fire to burn in my stomach.

  “You can’t be trusted when you’re using my body for your personal pleasure. Fuck, I’m at your mercy, and you know it.” His hand stroked my bottom. “You know my brain shuts down. You did the same thing the time I agreed to go camping at that snake infested river? Oh, how about the night you asked me if we could host a student ambassador for the summer. Although that was an exceptionally good night,” he whispered nibbling on my ear. “Now that I think about it, you did mention Vivie staying with your mother.”

  Another gentle bite sent a thrill to my lower regions.

  “That’s creepy, Laura. Promise me, you won’t mention your mother the next time you decide to give me a blow—”

  My hand clamped over his mouth when Adam entered.

  I pushed at Dan’s chest. “Go change. Dinner will be on the table by the time you come back.”

  He kissed my lips before leaving. “I love you, baby.”

  I turned to Adam who rolled his eyes. “Help me set the table.”

  “Fine, but don’t get all pissy if the forks are on the wrong side according to mom etiquette.”

  “I don’t get pissy.”

  “Yeah! Mom. Right. Is Vivie coming home? It’s too quiet around here.”

  “Tomorrow.” I couldn’t hold back a laugh. “And you’ll be begging me to send her back within two hours.”

  “Nah. I miss the peanut when she’s not here.”

  My man was back looking all yummy in a pair of sweat pants and an old college T-shirt, advertising Northwestern across his hard chest. Dan was thirty-seven, but with his flat stomach, narrow hips, and broad shoulders, he could easily compete with the younger guys for serious hotness. He was, what my friend, Mary, called eye-candy.

  The fates were with me the day we crashed carts at the grocery store. We rounded a corner from different directions and slammed into each other. For seconds, we just stared. I tugged on my cart, trying to extricate it, but the wheels were caught. We stooped to untangle the front wheels, our shoulders touching. A surge of electricity shot down my arm. He turned to look into my eyes. “You felt that too. I knew today was my lucky day.”

  Grocery shopping forgotten, he took me for coffee at the grocery coffee bar. “What time do you want me to pick you up, tonight?”

  The heat rushed to my face when he smiled at me. This, I wasn’t ready for. “What are you talking about?”

  “Our date. Dinner.”

  “I’m not going to dinner with you. I don’t know you.”

  He gave me all his pertinent information. Name. Age. College. Address. Job. “Now you know everything about me. What time?”

  I started laughing. “I have a son. I don’t have a babysitter.”

  “Then we’ll take him with us.”

  He’d brought flowers for me and a video game for Adam when he came to pick us up that night. From that day forward, our life together was a done deal. We saw each other every night. Deep down, logic told me I wasn’t ready, but he was very persistent and I couldn’t resist. He was a magnet drawing me to him.

  Still reeling from the divorce, with a damaged psyche, he’d brought me back from the edge after Josh’s betrayal. It was hard to trust after Josh. I’d held Dan at arm’s length, unwilling to chance heartbreak again, but he was patient and loving, doing everything he could to make me love myself and him.

  My mother warned me about rebound romances, but three months later, we eloped to Las Vegas. Probably too quickly, but we couldn’t stay apart. When he held me in his arms, I was whole again. We had Adam to consider. There was no other way to explain Dan in my bed every morning?

  We’d been happily married for four years, still unable to keep our hands off each other. Dan’s love was the one sure thing in my life. At least, for seventy-five percent of the time, the other twenty-five percent, I was an insecure, neurotic mess who only remembered what a cheating bastard Josh had been, believing deep down all men were like him. There were moments when I thought Dan was too good to be true. That I would eventually end up in the same place with him as with Josh, loving and hating him.

  I thought about the phone call from Josh. I tensed, nerves attacking my stomach, thinking he would call tomorrow. No, this wasn’t right. I was married. I loved my husband. He was everything to me. But Josh was my first love. Wasn’t it always the hardest to forget? A thousand times harder because we’d been married for twelve years. Ten of them glorious. It wasn’t the memories that had me worried, it was the desire coursing through my body.

  Chapter 2

  The family room and kitchen was a large space, separated by open shelving filled with pottery. A wall of windows overlooked the back garden and patio. The kitchen was a sleek area of steel and glass, but the family room, although spacious, was filled with comfortable leather seating surrounded by walls of bookcases. Dan had worked with an architect to design the modern space.

  Conversation between Dan and Adam filtered into the kitchen.

  “What are your plans for next summer, Sport?”

  “The usual. I’ll spend it with my dad. He’s going to get me a job on the movie set as a gopher.”

  Dan raised his voice loud enough for me to hear. “That’s cool. Will you get me an autographed photo of Jennifer Aniston? One of her in a string bikini would be good. I’ll put it on my desk at the office. The guys will think I’m a stud.”

  Leaning on the granite top listening to the two of them banter back and forth, my stress faded.

  Adam shook his head, a cockeyed grin on his face. “She’s not in the movie, and you’re definitely not a stud.”

  “Damn, missed my chance again. Just as well. Your mom would kick my ass if she thought I had the hots for Jennifer.”

  “Yeah. Like you’d ever look at another woman.”

  Dan threw a pillow at Adam. “I don’t dare. I’m afraid of what your mom would do to me.”

  Carrying my glass of wine into the family room, my heart somersaulted looking at the lazy smile emerging on Dan’s face. I nestled on his lap, one arm draped around his neck. Shivers ran down my spine when his hand lifted my hair, his lips grazing the back of my neck.

  “I’ve got my own Jennifer Aniston right here. I’ll love you, forever,” he crooned.

  We smiled at each other.

  Adam harrumphed.

  “I’m going to bed. Too much public PDA down here.”

  “PDA? What’s that? It sounds like something I want to try.” Dan’s fingers grasped my waist. “Right, baby?”

  Adam rolled his eyes. “You do it all the time. Its Public Display of Affection.”

  Dan smiled and kissed my neck. “Yeah. I can’t stop myself.�
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  Adam smiled and bounded up the stairs

  “Good night.” We called after him.

  Dan’s lips returned to my neck in earnest. “Does this mean I can have your sexy ass on the kitchen counter? It’s always been my secret fantasy to work my magic on you while you lay on that cool, slick granite.” Dan smiled, his grin spreading across his face like a Cheshire cat.

  “You’re sick. We eat on that counter.”

  “You like my magic. It makes you scream.”

  "Come on lover boy, work your magic on me in our bed. Better yet, you can sit my ass on the bathroom counter to live out your dreams.”

  Dan took my hand, pulling me up the stairs. “Do you have a string bikini? Fuck, I’m hard just thinking about it. Ooh, baby, you’re in for a thrill of a lifetime.”

  Dropping to the bed, I bent over to pull my jeans down my legs.

  “Oh no. Bathroom.” He nodded toward the bathroom his lips curling into a sexy smile.

  Stepping out of my jeans, I pulled off my shirt, letting it fall to the floor. Standing in front of him, I gave him a pat on the ass. “I’m at your command, lover boy.”

  His hands grabbed my shoulders pulling me backward against his chest. His lips sucked on my neck sending chills down my back. Before I knew it, my bra fell to the floor, and my breasts were cupped in his hands. His thumbs rubbed against my nipples curling my toes and sending heat flaming through my body. He ground against me, his erection already prominent.

  I rounded my back pushing my bottom into him, smiling when he groaned. “Is this what you have in mind?”

  His hand slipped into my panties caressing between my legs. Now it was my turn to moan. When his fingers reached inside me, my breath caught in my throat. My legs squeezed around his hand.

  “Feel good?” he whispered huskily, nibbling on my ear.

  Without disturbing his hand, he walked me into the bathroom. By the time he’d lifted me onto the counter, my breathing was ragged. Kneeling in front of me, he moved my panties to the side with one hand, the other reaching into my center. I ran my hands through his hair, my hips moving from side to side. He gripped the waist of my panties, pulling one side over my hip then the other. His hand slid the silky fabric down my legs. Groaning, he parted my legs and buried his head.

  Air whistled through my teeth when his tongue caressed me. The more he stroked, the more I quivered, my bottom flinching, moving from side to side on the slick counter.

  “Don’t stop.” The sound was barely a whisper as the heat burned in me. Sensations rose from my belly, racing through my body.

  “God, don’t stop.” I croaked.

  The orgasm took hold, and my hips writhed under his touch. My fingers curled through his hair and I took short breaths, pushing against him faster and faster as the sensations sent messages to my brain in rapid fire.

  “Oh God.” My voice cracked. I bit my lip to stop the screams as he worked his magic. Pulling on his hair, when he sent me soaring up the mountain of ecstasy.

  Once he was done satisfying me in the bathroom, he picked me up, carrying my limp body to our bed where the marathon continued. He tore off his clothes and lay beside me. His hands and tongue were instruments of love. He made it an art form, caressing every part of my body, bringing me back to the brink until he finally brought out the big gun. When he entered me, he groaned thrusting deep into my core.

  “Jesus, you feel good.” His voice broke as his rhythm increased. My body arched into him, his erection sliding in and out. His breathing got louder, more ragged, sending me rocketing into the star-filled universe. He collapsed on me with a satisfied moan. “I love you,” he whispered into my neck.

  Exhausted and satisfied, his love covering me like a warm blanket, I fell asleep in his arms.

  He continued his sexual pursuit the next morning in the kitchen, grinding his lower torso against me while I poured his coffee. He turned me around in his arms, covering my lips with his.

  “I love you,” he murmured against my cheek.

  “Are you cheating on me?” The words tumbled out of my mouth surprising me as much as Dan. My head reeled from the question.

  He held me away from him. Bending his face level to mine, he stared, eyes blazing, into mine. “What the fuck kind of question is that?” His lips were grim, his face twisted with anger.

  A cold chill enveloped me. “I don’t know where that came from. I’m crazy, but you knew that when you married me.” A nervous laugh escaped my lips.

  He cradled my face with his hands and kissed me. “Baby, I love you. Don’t categorize me with Adam’s father. I don’t screw women I meet in bars, then come home to cover it up by fucking your brains out. I don’t work that way.”

  He took me into his arms, his lips rubbing against my head, kissing my hair.

  “I love you. You are my life.” His arms tightened around me, pulling me close.

  Tears filled my eyes, but I willed them back. Josh used to say similar words to me when we argued about his faithfulness. Trust evaded me, no matter how hard I tried, there were times it was just out of reach.

  My hands rested on his chest, my mouth curling into a half-smile. “Don’t pay any attention to me. I’m just having a relapse. Vivie will be here by the time you get home tonight.” Poor Vivie was a cover for all my neurotic phobias as if my child possessed some kind of magical presence that could make everything better.

  “I can go in later. We should talk about this. You’re going to worry all day thinking I’m cheating. I’m not.” He slammed his hand on the counter, his mouth grim.

  “I won’t. I know better. Ignore me.”

  “Fucking Josh.” His hands gripped my arms drawing me to him. “I love you. Baby, there will never be anyone else. You must know that. You’re my fucking heart. You, Vivie, and Adam are my life.

  The heat rushed to my face. Poor Dan was left with a mess after Josh and me. I questioned his motives, and his love constantly. My confidence was shattered. Why would someone like Dan want me? Josh hadn’t.

  When we’d met, I’d made him tell me about every woman he’d ever been involved with. After all, he’d never been married, he was handsome, had a hot body and was successful, there had to be something wrong with him? His explanation rang in my ears.

  “I haven’t met the woman I want to spend my life with. I’m not willing to settle. When I marry, it will be forever.”

  “Nothing is forever.” I’d argued.

  “It can be. You had a bad experience, but marriage doesn’t have to be that way.”

  “You’re crazy. Men can’t help themselves. They’re incapable of fidelity.” During one of our arguments, Josh had told me that.

  Dan had pulled me into his arms. “I want to grow old with you. I want us to sit on a park bench when we’re in our eighties holding hands. I love you, Laura.”

  “You don’t mean that. I’d drive you crazy with my phobias. I’m incapable of trusting any man.”

  Dan wiped the tears from my face, kissing my forehead, my cheeks, and my lips. “Let me worry about that. I’ll prove to you that you can trust me. I don’t want to live without you.”

  “It’s too soon. I need time.” I repeated the words my mother had said to me that afternoon.

  “Trust me. I’ve waited too long for you. I’m sure, even if you’re not.” He had been sure, proving his love every day. I took the leap of faith and married him. It was rough, but Dan never lost his patience with me. Whenever I became a neurotic mess, questioning him if he was five minutes late or if a woman looked at him for too long at the grocery store, he’d dispel my fears with patience and love. The man was a saint with a magic touch.

  My gift to him was Vivie. I hadn’t wanted another child, but he was desperate for a child of his own. Not that he didn’t love Adam, he did, but he wanted our baby.

  “No, go to the office. I’ll work it out. It’s not fair to keep you home because I’m having a mini-breakdown.” Laughing to cover my neurosis, I pushed him towa
rd the door. It would be better if he were gone, leaving me to wallow in my fears until I snapped out of it.

  “I’ll call you later. Do you want pizza for dinner?”

  Grabbing his shirt, I brought his face to mine kissing his lips reassuringly. “Don’t worry about me.” I smiled encouragingly. “As soon as Vivie comes home, we’ll go to the park and swing.”

  “Don’t let those little shits near my daughter.”

  “Got it. No boy toddlers within twenty feet of her.”

  “I love you.” A kiss on the lips, and he was gone.

  “I’m leaving,” Adam yelled from the back door.

  “Have a good day.”

  As soon as it was quiet, I slumped into a chair at the counter, my palm cradling my chin. Lifting the mug of coffee to my mouth, I sighed. Would my psyche ever be normal again? It was a stretch. Josh had done a number on the trusting naïve girl he’d loved then married. In the end, not only had my faith in men been shattered, but also trust in myself.

  Luck was against me from the start. My mother was as crazy as they come. Thank God for Hilda, her best friend and companion. If she weren't there to save my mother from herself, I’d spend most of my time bailing her out of some stunt she thought sounded like fun. With Hilda around, my only worry was keeping me under control.

  The house phone rang. I picked up the receiver with a trembling hand. “Hello.” No smart answer this time, certain it would be Josh, not a telemarketer.

  “What happened to the offer to take you to Saint Lucia?”

  “Hello, Josh.” I dried my sweaty palms on the legs of my jeans.

  “Hi, baby.”

  Josh never just said ‘hi’ without following it up with a torrent of quips, but today his tone was morose.

  “Are you all right? You don’t sound like your usual witty self.”

  “Fuck, Lar, I don’t know what my usual self is anymore.”

  The muscles in my stomach clenched every time he called me Lar. He was the only one who’d ever used the shortened version of my name. He’d wanted a name that no one else used. Something that belonged to him. If anyone else called me Lar, he was all over them until they stopped. Lar belonged to Josh.