Toxic Secrets
Page 24
My feet began moving forward before my brain made the decision of what I was about to do. I crept around the corner then stopped in front of Jaxon’s bedroom door. Taking a deep breath, I allowed my knuckles to lightly tap against the wood surface a couple of times. Jaxon opened the door half naked, wearing only swimming trunks. There was no way I was able describe them because my vision was engaged by the taut man standing before me. He stood holding the door, inviting me into his personal space. I couldn’t move. My eyes raked over the tight, defined grooves of every muscle in his body, the smoothness of his skin, the silver metal protruding from his puckered nipples. I was taking a mental picture to take back with me to North Carolina. As lust began running through my veins, my thought process started to turn to mush. I couldn’t think coherently, I forgot what my mission was, my purpose for coming over here.
“You’re doing it again,” he observed.
Oh hell. I snorted a nervous laugh. “Sorry?”
“Sweet Cheeks, I’ve told you before, you don’t need to apologize, just don’t be so obvious with it.”
Did he smirk? Was that a slight smirk I caught?
Clearing his throat more than normal, he turned his back to me, walking into an adjacent room. I wasn’t sure what room it was—the bathroom, a closet, an entertainment room maybe? Hell, it might be a freaking fully equipped gym for all I knew. I quickly took advantage of the moment by myself and inspected his room while he wasn’t in it. It was decorated much like his house—sleek, but gothic. Everything was either black or had the color black incorporated into it. His bed was massive, big enough that all four of us could fit comfortably on it. The bedding was all black, the material soft as silk. Then again, it probably was silk… imported from China. Running my fingers along the sleek material, I thought about the things that could be done on that bed. Stop it, Courtney!
Turning away to focus my attention on something else besides his bed, I spotted several pictures sitting on top of the wide, white marbled mantle over the black, rocked-in fireplace. One picture was of a beautiful young lady with jet black hair flowing freely down her back. She looked to be maybe in her twenties. By the style of clothes she was wearing, you could tell the picture had been taken twenty or more years ago. She was laughing in the picture. She looked happy, full of life. She also looked familiar. The hair, the eyes, the dimples—that smile. She looked just like Jaxon. She had to be his mother.
I switched my attention to the other picture sitting in a beautiful antique frame. This lady was older, the picture appearing to be taken by a professional photographer. I picked it up to get a better look. She had dark brown hair that curled right above her shoulders with strands of gray threaded through. She had a petite structure with delicate features. Despite the wrinkles that lined her eyes and mouth, she was a beautiful woman. She looked nothing like Jaxon or the lady in the other picture, but I had a feeling she was the grandma he always talked about.
“What are you doing?” Jaxon asked, standing right behind me, his mouth level at my ear.
Letting out a shrilling scream, the picture went flying out of my hands. Thank goodness for Jaxon’s quick reflexes, because he caught it before it shattered into a million pieces against the rock fireplace. The way he grasped it in midair put my heart into overdrive. I was already frightened by him sneaking up on me, but the closeness of our bodies only frightened me even more. I wasn’t afraid of what he might do, I was more afraid of what I would do.
We both stood still, panting, and I could feel his breath against my cheek. The smell of mint tickled my senses, inducing my endorphins. Peering at him from the corner of my eye, I noticed that his eyes were closed. His throat grunts sounded strained. He was trying his best to hold back his tics. He was fighting it… us, the struggle was clear on his face. He was battling with the need as much as I was. The only thing was, I didn’t want to fight it at this point in time.
I had to know, I had to put myself out there and see if he would react the way I wanted him to. Turning my head toward him, I lightly brushed my lips against his. He inhaled sharply, his exhale releasing in a shaky pattern, as his lips gently pressed against mine. Turning my entire body to face him, I relaxed into him. Everything I’d felt for Jaxon before came back with a vengeance. It was so much stronger this time. Was I denying those feelings before because I was afraid? What was I afraid of? Was I afraid of him treating me the same as Phillip had? Their mood swings and colossal personalities were similar, but, no, Phillip never treated me with the tenderness and care that Jaxon showed me.
My lips ached as he broke our kiss and tenderly traced my jawline, lingering on the shell of my ear. “What are you doing to me?” he whispered.
It wasn’t a question to be answered, it was a statement. His lips engulfed my earlobe, suckling lightly and sending a tingling sensation across the skin of my neck. Just the feel of his warm wet tongue drove my body wild. Slowly and gingerly, he scraped his teeth over the now moist, sensitive flesh. A surge of heat struck my core, the warmth radiating all the way to my cheeks. I couldn’t respond back. All I could manage was a soft low moan of pleasure. Hearing my uncontrollable desire for him, he didn’t hesitate. He reached down, placing his arms underneath my knees, and swiftly lifted me up, cradling me in his arms. I held his gaze for seconds, and the look of lust he directed at me didn’t go unnoticed before his lips came crashing down onto mine. Effortlessly, he walked me to his bed, and then placed me down so gently onto the silky fabric. Our kiss remained intact, we were too hungry for one another to let go. He straddled his hands over me, firmly setting them on each side of my head. His feet remained on the floor. My fingertips grazed along his ribcage then around to his back. With my fingers spread out, and my palms flat over his smooth skin, I wanted to explore all of him. I could feel every ounce of lean muscle flexing under my hands as he moved against me. The touch was so exhilarating. It made me want him more. The bed dipped down beside me as his upper body hovered over mine. Pulling down on his back, I wanted to feel the warmth of him against me. He wouldn’t give. His arms remained straight, holding his weight off of me. “Hmm mm,” he grunted into my mouth. “Don’t rush this. I want to savor you,” he breathed heavily.
Confident. That was how he made me feel right there in that moment. I felt like I could conquer anything I set my mind to. I felt attractive, I felt desirable, and I felt truly wanted for the first time in my life. I craved Jaxon. I wanted him. Whether it was a thoughtless act or not, I didn’t care. Reaching down, I shimmied out of my shorts.
Jaxon gasped, and I knew my brazen move lit a fire within him, tormenting him. I wasn’t about to let go of him, though. Our kiss intensified, mint bursting into my mouth as his Altoid brushed against my tongue. I felt exuberant, but at the same time intoxicated. As I was getting drunk off of this incredible guy, he was utterly unaware of how dangerous he might possibly be for me.
My lips felt swollen and my chin irritated from the stubble on Jaxon’s face, but I didn’t care. The sweet kisses he placed across my raw skin and then trailed down my neck felt so good. Nothing could cause me discomfort at this moment. My breath hitched when he lifted up my coral colored blouse and placed tender kisses around my naval. His hand trickled up along my ribcage, stopping to rest underneath my breast. I grabbed his hair, tugging it hard. I wanted his mouth on mine again, but he had other plans. He palmed my breast over the thin fabric of my bra, rubbing it in circles until a peak formed while his mouth continued to work its way down. He pressed his lips lightly along my panty line all the while rolling the tip of my boob between his fingers. The feeling was overwhelming, and I felt my body heat up to a life-threatening degree. My core was aching. I wanted him to continue his path, to journey his way down to the wetness between my thighs. He must have read my mind because without warning his teeth caught onto the top of my thong, and both hands gripped the barely there material on each side of my hips, pulling them down so slowly, so sensually. I was spent. I felt like I was going to implode.
I was feeling things I had never felt before, and, as perfect as it felt, it was also scaring the hell out of me.
Trying to relax, I inhaled a couple of deep breaths. Jaxon didn’t acknowledge my stiffness as he continued exploring the warmth between my thighs. I gripped the soft sheets, fisting them tight when I felt Jaxon’s hot tongue and warm breath invade my sensitive spot. I began feeling the same odd sensations that took over me when Phillip and I last had sex. The sensation was exhilarating and explosive all rolled up into one big pleasurable ball. Jaxon continued a relentless rhythm, and I felt myself lose all self-control. Breathing erratically, my muscles began to spasm, and I was on the verge of combusting. As my body released the biggest display of fireworks, I let out an embarrassing moan
My body was numb. I couldn’t move. I had never felt anything like that in my entire life, and I wondered how I had never experienced it before.
Jaxon released me, leaving feather-light kisses across my skin as he worked his way back up to the middle of my abdomen. He then lay down beside me, cradling me in his arms. He pressed a loving kiss to my temple and held me tight.
We laid there content with each other for what seemed like hours when Jaxon broke the silence. “You’re not mad at me are you?” he asked, propping up on one elbow and looking down at me.
I smiled at him. “Of course not. Why would you ask that?” I queried, my eyebrows drawn down.
“Well, it’s just… you’ve been quiet for a pretty long time now, and I don’t want you upset with me for what just happened or regretting any of it…” he trailed off. “Because I don’t,” he whispered, staring me down.
He still wanted me. It was plastered all over his face. I swallowed stiffly then let out a nervous giggle. “Jaxon, to be honest, I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say after all of that. I have never felt anything that wonderful in all my life,” I admitted. Reaching up, I placed my hand on his face and rubbed my thumb along the stubble below his cheek bone. “I think the world could’ve blown up and I wouldn’t have cared.” The joker smile on my face was beginning to feel permanent. Even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to wipe it away.
Jaxon displayed an expression as if he wanted to ask me something, but couldn’t get it to come out. And the throat sounds intensified.
“Just say it,” I demanded.
He pulled his lips in tight between his teeth before blurting out his query. “Are you a virgin?” He squinted and ducked to avoid an imaginary slap.
My eyes bulged out in shock. “Wow! You just get right to the point don’t you?”
“Well, it’s just that you don’t move like a virgin, but you threw me off the way you froze up on me when I… well… you know…”
My face burst into flames, I felt like I was on fire. I wanted to bury my head in Jaxon’s pillows. Did he seriously just call me out on my sexual swag? He must’ve found me the most inexperienced female he had ever played with.
“… and that’s why I stopped. Courtney, I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for. I’ll wait.” His expression was serious, all playfulness gone. “That is, if you give me the opportunity.” He didn’t come straight out and ask, but I understood the hidden question. He wanted to know if we’d continue whatever this was we were starting when I went back to North Carolina. I wanted to, I really did, but I didn’t know what my future held, so I avoided his comment. I didn’t want to commit to us until I positively knew it was a guarantee.
I pulled myself together, gaining control of my composure before taking the liberty of answering him. “If you must know, no, I’m not a virgin. But whatever that was you did with your mouth and the burst of hormones that took over my body was not something I’ve ever experienced before.”
Jaxon broke out into a boisterous laugh. The entire bed shook. It annoyed me that he was laughing at me, but his laugh was so cute and so rare that I found it contagious. Although I didn’t succumb to laughing with him, I did give into the smile that was forcing its way on my face.
Jaxon flopped onto me with his head buried in my neck, chuckling to himself. “I’m sorry, Sweet Cheeks. I’m not laughing at you, I promise. I’m laughing because you just had your very first orgasm, and you didn’t even know it.” He pulled me closer to him, squeezing me hard, but not so hard that it hurt. How humiliating.
Groaning loudly in frustration, I felt like a first class idiot. All this time with Phillip, and he was cheating me in more ways than one.
Jaxon placed a small kiss behind my ear. “Don’t worry about it, Sweet Cheeks. It’s got to happen at some point in time. I feel pretty honored that I got to be that guy,” he smiled against my skin. “Is Phillip your one and only?” he asked, pulling up to rest on his elbows after placing them on both sides of my head. His body hovered over mine, he was always careful not to put any weight on me. His hands stroked my hair back away from my face.
“Yes.” It was all I could squeak out. He stared at me with so much passion before lowering his lips to mine. He knew just what to do with them. I didn’t have but one other person to compare him to, but I knew I didn’t need any other person. No one else could make me feel the way he did.
His hand slipped down to my hips, his thumb drew a circle around my hip bone when it dawned on me that I was still naked from the waist down. I had all my glory displayed for him to feast on. I jerked from the tickle and from the thoughts of still being fully exposed.
Jaxon leaned back, breaking our kiss. “What’s wrong?”
“Umm, that sort of tickles… and, umm… I’m half-naked,” I admitted shyly. I couldn’t tell him I wasn’t ready yet. I thought I was, but, as I lay here with him, I knew I couldn’t give myself over to him completely. I couldn’t take the chance of us possibly losing touch again after I left.
Jaxon’s lips curled up to the side of his face, giving me that crooked, one-dimpled grin I found so adorable. He stared down at me, waist down, embarrassing me even more. “I must say, I’m enjoying the scenery. That’s the most tantalizing, excuse my language, pussy I’ve ever tasted in my life,” he said, leisurely licking his lips. His eyes were hooded and glazed.
His words sent electricity through every nerve ending in my body. I could see the lust in his eyes and knew that he was ready for more, but I wasn’t ready yet to take that next step with him. He may have been telling me he could wait, but his body signals were screaming in protest. It was up to me to break him from his trance.
“Now you’re doing it to me,” I accused.
He blinked his eyes rapidly, focusing his attention back on my face. Mission accomplished.
He pulled his eyebrows down, drawing a deep crease between his eyes. “What?”
“You’re staring,” I accused.
He kissed my forehead chastely then stood from the bed. “Well if you’re looking for an apology, you won’t get it from me. When I see beauty lying before me, I’m going to make a memory of it.” He picked up my thong and shorts from the foot of the bed and began putting them on for me. The gesture was sweet, but it was too awkward for me, so I quickly tugged them from his hands and did the job myself.
He stood against the edge of the bed, watching me keenly. Sighing, he said, “I can help you with that you know.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t taking a chance of him seducing me. I didn’t know if I could pass the test of self-restraint, especially after spotting a clear view of his erection pushing against his swimming trunks. How did I not feel that when he was on the bed with me?
“It makes me uncomfortable, you know,” he said, playfully.
I snapped my eyes to his and away from
his bulging trunks. “What does?”
“You openly gaping at me all the time,” he laughed, teasing me.
Reaching above my head for a pillow, I slung it as hard as I could at Jaxon’s chest. He caught it before it hit him. He was just about to throw it back at me when my phone rang. I tugged it out of my back pocket to answer.
“Where the hell are y’all at?” Kendra screamed into the phone. I pulled it away from my ear before she damaged my hearing. She was always so dang dramatic.
Raising my eyebrows at Jaxon, I silently asked if it was okay to tell her where we were, knowing he could hear from where he was. He nodded once.
“We are in Jaxon’s room. I think we’re about to go… swimming?”
Jaxon nodded again.
“Okay, well meet us at our room because Reed and I have no clue how to get around this crazy maze Jaxon calls a house.”
“Okay, we will.”
She hung up before I finished talking.
Rolling off the ginormous bed, I walked over to give Jaxon a quick hug and a peck on his cheek. “I can fix that problem you have in your shorts you know?”
Jaxon pushed me away. “Get out of here before I become so crippled I can’t walk,” he laughed.
I felt relieved. “If you insist,” I smiled. “I’m going back to my room now so I can put on my swimsuit. See you in a bit,” I beamed, walking out into the hallway.
“Good, while you do that, I’ll be relieving some tension I’ve been building up,” he chuckled followed with a wink. I darted to my room from embarrassment.
“If your bathing suit isn’t a G-string bikini, I’m buying you a new one,” he yelled out to me as I walked into my room.
As soon as the door closed behind me, I locked it and took a flying leap onto my bed, giggling in excitement. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I couldn’t believe how happy he made me feel. It was my very first day, and I already didn’t want to go home.