THE TYNESIDE SAGAS: Box set of three dramatic and emotional stories: A Handful of Stars, Chasing the Dream and For Love & Glory

by Janet MacLeod Trotter

  Fortified by the meal, Gloria relented and they bundled the two youngest into the pram and set off back to the front. The babies were asleep in minutes and Jack walked with Joy riding on his shoulders, calling out the sights she could see and giggling to be up so high. It took twenty minutes to walk to the North Pier and they wandered around until the sun dipped, taking in the sights of the merry-go-rounds and the smell of seafood and fish and chips. As Joy got her way and rode triumphantly in a gilded carriage behind a white horse, Pearl peered at the diners sitting in the windows of grand hotels, eating under glinting chandeliers.

  ‘That could be you one day.’ Jack winked, catching her look of longing. Pearl glanced away with a self-conscious smile.

  ‘It just makes me realise that there’s a lot out there in the world I’ve never seen,’ she answered softly, rocking the pram, ‘and I want to see it all.’ She laughed. ‘Maybe I’ll go to sea like you.’

  Jack grinned. ‘It’s a grand way to see the world, if that’s what you want.’

  They looked at each other for a moment and Pearl felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of his lively green eyes and slim, expressive face under the Brylcreemed black hair. In the glow of the sunset, the recent lines that marked his face did not show, and he looked younger than his thirty-two years. She remembered the first time she had met him, in the dance hall during Race Week, and how he had walked her back to Aunt Julia’s. It had been the warmth of his smile and his bashful boyishness that had attracted her. But her aunt had been scandalised that she had slipped away from her friends and brought home a man at the tender age of nineteen.

  ‘You’re too young to be courting,’ Julia told her censoriously, but Pearl had shrugged off the rebuke. She thought Jack Elliot probably was too old for her, and she had no desire to ‘settle down’, so she discouraged Jack from calling for her again. There were plenty more where he came from, was Pearl’s attitude. She had thought no more about the merchant seaman and danced with many young men on nights out with her friends at the Oxford in Newcastle. Several of them called to ask her out to the pictures or the coffee bars. Sometimes she went and sometimes she said she was washing her hair. If she could persuade them to take her to a variety show or a musical, then Pearl’s interest in them lasted longer. Gloria was disapproving. She was eager to be courting but, burdened with looking after an increasingly frail Aunt Julia, did not have the opportunity. She fretted over her sister’s cavalier attitude to boys.

  ‘No one’ll want to settle down with you the way you treat them,’ Gloria warned.

  ‘Suits me,’ Pearl would answer, maddening her sister with her lack of interest.

  Then, to her surprise, Jack called on his next leave when she was out at work. By the time she got home, Gloria had made him stay to tea and paid him so much attention, that it was she whom he asked out that Saturday. Pearl pretended not to mind, especially when her sister’s courtship developed quickly and she became engaged to Jack before he went back to sea. She could see how happy he made Gloria, and how her sister made him feel special and cared for, so Pearl told herself she was glad for them both. Once they were married and starting a family, Pearl had seen much less of her sister, and Jack was often away. For a while she continued her active social life, despite the extra demands of having to look after Aunt Julia more and more. She would get up early and prepare her aunt’s meals and call home in her lunch hour. Sometimes Gloria would pop in and check on Julia during the day, but it was Pearl’s job to put her frail aunt to bed. Sometimes she would pay a neighbour to sit with Julia while she went dancing, until Gloria found out.

  ‘You selfish little madam!’ her sister scolded. ‘How could you leave Aunt with a stranger?’

  ‘Not a stranger,’ Pearl protested, ‘a good neighbour. Besides, Mrs Potts can do with a few extra pennies; she’s happy to help out.’

  ‘It’s your responsibility,’ Gloria declared, ‘not Mrs Potts’s. That’s just typical of you to think of yourself all the time. You and your Elvis Presley records and your obsession with dancing and theatres!’

  ‘If you were so concerned with Aunt then you would have stopped here instead of rushing into marriage with Jack,’ Pearl retaliated. ‘So don’t criticise me for the way I run this household. You moved out − I’ll do things as I see fit.’

  ‘That’s not fair!’ Gloria said tearfully. ‘You know I’d do more, but I’ve Joy to cope with and a second bairn on the way.’ She dissolved into tears. ‘I find it so hard on me own…’

  Pearl’s indignation had subsided quickly and she went to comfort her sister. It was then that it struck her that her sister might not be as happy as she professed to the outside world. She went out little, except to the shops, and did not seem to have made friends among her new neighbours.

  ‘You could bring the bairns round here more often,’ Pearl had said kindly, ‘and stop over here with me when you want.’

  After that, Pearl’s nights out had dwindled and she had begun to lose contact with her partying friends. Gloria came over more and more frequently and Pearl found herself coping with them all until Jack came back on leave and they became a family again for a short happy spell. Pearl would feel relief at having the place to herself once more and was determined to have a strong word with Jack about Gloria’s gloomy moods. Then Aunt Julia had died and Pearl had weakly agreed to let Gloria and family move in permanently with her. But with the coming of the third baby, her sister’s black moods had increased.

  ‘It’s just the baby blues,’ Jack had said, falsely hearty. ‘It’s expected for a bit.’

  ‘What’s your name, Dr Spock?’ Pearl had snorted.

  Jack had escaped to sea again and gradually Pearl’s life had become one of carer to them all. She found it increasingly hard to manage the household as well as her job at the shipyard office. Things, she knew, would have to change.

  Looking now at Jack in the Blackpool sunset and catching something dangerous in his eyes, Pearl determined she was going to do something radical when they got home. She was frightened by the sudden feelings he stirred in her that she had not realised were still there. Suddenly she found herself saying, ‘Aye, I do want to see the world. I’ve been thinking of getting a stewarding job on one of them cruise ships. They’ve been advertising in the papers for single lasses.’

  Jack gawped at her and Pearl realised he thought she was joking. ‘Cleaning out the ‘heads’ for rich Americans, you mean?’ he smirked.

  ‘If that’ll get me on a ship, then yes,’ Pearl said indignantly. ‘I’ll wipe their bottoms an’ all!’

  Jack laughed incredulously and repeated the joke to Gloria, who had just walked over with Joy in her arms. But Gloria’s face crumpled as she looked at Pearl. ‘That’s not funny! You wouldn’t go off and leave us, would you?’

  Pearl looked in horror at her miserable sister and the look of confusion on Joy’s round, glowing face. She realised that she was going to be trapped for ever in this situation if she did not break out soon. She steeled herself to reply. ‘I’ve got me own life to lead. I’m serious about going away.’

  It spoilt the end of the evening, and they trudged back to the guest house without saying much at all. But the next day it was as if nothing had been said. Mrs Hugo gave them a hearty cooked breakfast and they set out into the early September sunshine for the beach with spirits revived and Joy filling the awkwardness between the adults with her constant chatter.

  They spent the morning on the beach, riding donkeys and paddling in the sea, until it was time to go back to the boarding house for the midday meal. Mrs Hugo filled them full of oxtail soup, steak and kidney pie, potatoes and cabbage, followed by apple crumble and custard. Afterwards Pearl felt so sleepy that she went for a lie-down while the others sallied out again to the amusements of the Pleasure Beach. By evening, Pearl was revived and raring to dance.

  ‘I couldn’t drag myself out again if you paid me,’ Gloria announced. ‘I’m going to bed with the bairns. They wake that early in a stra
nge place.’

  Pearl was disappointed. ‘Haway, Gloria, it’ll do you good to get out without the bairns. Mrs Hugo said she’d keep an eye on them for an hour or two. You could have a lie-down for an hour first.’

  ‘I don’t like dancing much − never have done,’ her sister answered irritably. ‘Jack’ll take you if you’re that keen to go out. Won’t you, Jack?’

  Jack looked embarrassed to be caught between the two of them. ‘Well, if that’s what you both want…’

  Pearl felt uneasy at the suggestion, but she could hardly go on her own. Maybe just this once it would be all right, until she made friends with some of the young women staying in the guest houses round about and could go dancing in a group.

  That night, they were both awkward with each other to begin with, walking stiffly apart and saying little, as if they hardly knew each other.

  ‘You don’t need to stop all evening,’ Pearl said hastily as they approached the Tower. She was longing to see the newly refurbished Ballroom, which had been damaged by fire three seasons before.

  Jack gave her a quizzical look. ‘I’ll not stand in the way of the rush of young lads to dance with you, if that’s what you mean.’

  Pearl blushed and laughed. ‘No, I didn’t mean that. But perhaps you shouldn’t leave Gloria on her own for too long.’

  Jack glanced away. ‘She’ll be asleep by now. She’ll not notice if I’m there or not.’

  They said no more about Gloria, and soon Pearl’s attention was transfixed by the glories of the Tower Ballroom. Its vast ornate golden ceiling and balconies glittered under sparkling chandeliers and the hall pulsated to the sounds of the Wurlitzer and the band. The Ballroom floor was already packed with dancers as Jack showed her to a seat and went off in search of drinks. Pearl was still gawping at the painted, gilded ceiling and the magnificent stage when he returned. Intoxicated by the music, she soon had him twirling across the floor. It was the most romantic setting she had ever seen and she felt a twinge of guilt that she should be sharing it with her sister’s husband. But the music was so good that she did not want to stop dancing and Jack seemed happy to be holding her in his arms.

  It was harmless fun, Pearl told herself, but the evening sped by and neither of them mentioned again about going home early to be with Gloria. When they finally emerged from the dance, Jack pulled at his tie and undid his collar.

  ‘I feel hungry now,’ he said, his face glistening and hair ruffled. ‘Fancy fish and chips?’

  Pearl agreed, and they bought fish suppers and carried them to a bench along the promenade. The conversation was light-hearted, until Pearl said, ‘I’ve really enjoyed myself tonight. I can’t remember the last time I had that much of a laugh.’

  ‘Me neither,’ Jack said softly, and looked at her searchingly. ‘It made me think of that night we first met at the dance in Wallsend. Do you remember?’

  ‘Aye, I do,’ Pearl answered, feeling her heart begin to hammer.

  He touched her cheek with his hand, and when she did not draw away, he leaned towards her and kissed her gently on the lips. Pearl felt light-headed and her pulse raced.

  ‘Oh, Jack,’ she whispered, ‘we shouldn’t…’ But she let him kiss her again, this time more urgently. When they stopped, he was breathing hard.

  ‘I knew it then and I know it now,’ he said. ‘I married the wrong sister.’

  The words were out before Pearl could stop him saying them. They hung between them, explosively.

  ‘You don’t mean that.’ Pearl tried to laugh it off.

  Jack clutched her shoulder. ‘I do,’ he rasped. ‘I think it every time I look at you. Me and Gloria aren’t happy together, you must know that. She hates me being at sea and she hates me being at home. She blames me for Joanne. She only ever wanted two bairns, but you can’t always plan it that way, can you?’

  Pearl blushed at his words. ‘She’s under a lot of strain at the moment,’ she tried to defend her sister. ‘It’ll get easier as the bairns grow. You’ll be close again.’

  ‘We’ve never been close,’ Jack declared. ‘We just both wanted to be wed to someone more than staying single. And we both wanted bairns.’

  Pearl grew agitated. ‘Well, you’ve got them − and you’ve got a responsibility towards them no matter what you and Gloria think of each other right now.’ She drew away from him and the grip of his hand on her shoulder. ‘They’re lovely bairns, Jack. Don’t spoil things for them. You’re lucky to have them and so’s Gloria. You have to make her see that too.’

  Pearl stood up and wrapped the remains of her half-eaten chips in the newspaper, then walked quickly to a nearby bin. She heard Jack follow her.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said contritely. ‘I must’ve had too much to drink. I should never have said such things to you. Will you forgive me?’

  ‘Aye, of course,’ Pearl smiled, steeling herself against the turmoil of feelings inside that cried out for him to kiss her again. ‘I know you didn’t mean it; just the beer talking.’

  ‘Aye, that’s right,’ Jack said hastily, throwing his rubbish into the bin too. ‘You’ll not say anything to Gloria?’

  Pearl gave him a sharp look. ‘Of course not. Neither of us meant anything by it. Let’s just forget it, Jack.’ She turned and walked on briskly, and hardly another word was spoken between them all the way home. By the time they reached Mrs Hugo’s, Pearl was overwhelmed with regret at having been so foolish as to kiss Jack, and she sensed he felt the same.

  The next morning they both avoided looking at each other and Pearl kept out of the way for a day, taking herself off to look round Louis Tussaud’s waxworks. For a while she was diverted by the amazing likenesses to famous figures such as Attlee and Eisenhower, and thought how Joy would love the depictions of Snow White and Little Miss Muffet. She determined to take her niece there the next day. That evening they all went out for the switching-on ceremony and Pearl was relieved to see Jack being extra attentive to Gloria and the children. They spent a happy couple of hours taking trams up and down the promenade and gazing at the spectacular illuminated tableaux.

  Joy clapped in wonder at Pantomime Land depicting fairy tales such as Aladdin and Cinderella. There was a beautiful scene of Swan Lake, with a ballerina illuminated among giant swans, and tableaux displaying the four seasons.

  ‘Look! They’re on holiday like us,’ Joy cried at the scene of summer.

  ‘Do you like being on holiday?’ Jack asked her.

  ‘Yes. I want to stay all the time,’ Joy grinned. Gloria kissed her head affectionately.

  ‘We’ll come every year if that’s what you want,’ Jack announced impulsively.

  Gloria flung him a look. ‘Don’t promise what you can’t keep,’ she warned. But Joy was already throwing her arms round her father’s neck in excitement.

  ‘Yes, yes! Can we come again next week?’ she cried.

  ‘No, of course not,’ Gloria answered.

  ‘Auntie Pearl, you take me,’ Joy demanded. ‘I like you best.’

  Pearl caught Gloria’s dashed expression and quickly shook her head. ‘No you don’t. You’ll have lots of grand holidays with your mam and dad in the future. I’ll be off to sea, so I’ll not be around.’ She saw the child’s face crumple. ‘But I’ll sail past Blackpool on me ship and give you a wave,’ she added with a quick kiss. But Joy cried anyway, while Gloria sank into one of her bad moods and Pearl realised she had spoiled things yet again.

  After that night, Pearl contrived to go out in the evenings with a widow and her daughter from the same guest house so as to keep out of the way. During the day, she would volunteer to take one of the children out for a walk and keep them entertained while Jack and Gloria had the other two. Invariably she would be left with Joanne, but she enjoyed spoiling the lively baby with her riot of auburn curls and ready toothless grin.

  Finally, towards the end of the week, she persuaded Gloria and Jack to let her babysit while they had a night out at a show. Once the children were in bed, Pearl pl
ayed cards with Mrs Hugo and some of the other guests in the downstairs lounge. She went to bed before her sister and brother-in-law returned, and in the morning Gloria seemed in better spirits and decreed they would spend their last full day on the beach with the children.

  ‘We’ll take a picnic today,’ she told Mrs Hugo, who packed them up some salmon paste sandwiches, cake and bananas, with a flask of tea.

  It was a gloriously sunny day and the beach was packed with trippers enjoying the last of the summer. Joy was in particularly high spirits at the thought of a day on the sands armed with a special red metal bucket and spade that her father had bought her. Gloria insisted that she keep her bonnet on so as not to burn in the sun, but apart from that was content to let her dig in the sand with Jack and splash in the sea. As the tide began to turn and people were packed even more tightly together on the shrinking beach. Jack announced that he would take Joy to see the Punch and Judy show for the last time. She had been badgering him all day.

  Colin and Joanne had fallen asleep in the pram after the picnic and Gloria was feeling drowsy. ‘You take Joy,’ she yawned at Jack. ‘I’ll have a nap.’

  ‘Do you want to come?’ Jack asked Pearl. There was something in his eyes that pleaded with her to say yes, but Pearl distrusted such a look. She did not want to be left alone with him again and give either of them a chance to weaken.

  ‘No, I’ll keep an eye on the babies,’ she said, glancing away from his frustrated expression.

  ‘Watch out for the tide,’ was the last thing Gloria said, calling after them. ‘And make sure she keeps her bonnet on!’