Never Let Go

by Graysen Morgen

The man moved a little, but never said anything. She knew his body was in shock from the broken leg and hypothermia had more than likely set in by this point. Her mind drifted back to Caitlin and Nicole and the last time she’d seen either of them. She’d been so proud of the young woman Caitlin was becoming, and making love with Nicole, despite the circumstances, was the absolute last thing she ever thought would happen. Finley wondered if things truly did happen for a reason. Did I get to see Caitlin march in that parade in my honor, and be intimate with Nicole one last time because I’m meant to die out here? She thought as her teeth began to chatter.

  *

  Greg and Tracey had been flying around, searching for Finley since six a.m., after the winds had finally died down enough for them to get airborne. The ship had made it to the last known position, but there was no sign of the rescue swimmer or survivor. The C-130 had made passes all night, but were unable to find her in the dark water. The heavy cloud cover and intermittent rain showers hadn’t helped with the search. Plus, the strong winds and waves of the storm had swept Finley much further out to sea than they’d expected, making her nearly impossible to find.

  “She’s been in the water for at least seven hours,” Tracey said, scanning the ocean below.

  “I know,” Greg replied. “We’ll find her. We have to.”

  “Sector Merritt Island…Search and Rescue 2112. We have a visual on the rescue swimmer. She has the survivor. Over,” the pilot of the C-130 radioed, giving the coordinates.

  “2112…Sector. Copy. Search and Rescue 6516…Sector. Did you pick up on those coordinates? Over.”

  “Sector…6516. Roger. Already en route,” Greg radioed, pushing the helo to the maximum speed. “Thank God,” he whispered. “Get ready, we’re going to get our swimmer back!” he said to the crew, who cheered.

  *

  Finley was floating, with her head and the survivors just out of the water. The loud, thumping sound of a helicopter’s rotor blade, caused her to crack open her eyes. She’d dreamed for hours of that sound and couldn’t be more thankful to finally hear it. “Harvey, wake it! Help is here,” she said, barely able to move herself. Before she knew it, she was being grabbed from behind.

  “Chief, it’s Petty Officer Talbot. I’m going to get you out of here,” the rescue swimmer said. “Deploy the basket,” he radioed. “Survivor Alert: 1; Injury: 10. Swimmer Alert: 4; Injury: 7. Over.”

  “Get that basket in the water,” Greg said.

  “I can’t believe she never let go of that man,” Tracey added as she quickly sent the basket out on the hoist. The dark blue water below was calm, almost completely flat as the sun shined brightly overhead in the cloudless sky. She said a silent prayer, thanking God that they’d found her friend.

  “Me either,” he replied, shaking his head in disbelief.

  The swimmer practically stuffed Finley and Harvey into the basket in a heap of limbs and lifted his arm for them to get raised out of the water. As soon as she was in the helo, Finley’s eyes finally closed as her body gave out.

  Chapter 15

  News crews were gathered for a press conference outside of the hospital later that afternoon as Captain Shultz described the heroic efforts of Helicopter Rescue Swimmer, Chief Petty Officer Finley Morris, when she not only rescued a distressed and injured sailor, Harvey Dunleavy, from his sinking boat, but treaded water, holding onto him to keep him afloat for over eight hours, until they could be rescued themselves after a severe storm.

  “How is the rescue swimmer now?” one of the journalists asked.

  “She’s doing well. She suffered severe exhaustion, dehydration, and hypothermia, but she will make a full recovery.” He smiled.

  “What about the man she rescued?” someone else asked.

  “Mr. Dunleavy was overwhelmed with severe hypothermia and dehydration, and he suffered a broken leg when the storm snapped the mast on his sailboat. I’ve been told that he too, will make a full recovery, thanks to the dedication of Chief Morris.”

  *

  “You’re on the news,” Tracey said, sitting down in the chair next to Finley’s hospital bed.

  “I know,” Finley replied. “How is Mr. Dunleavy?”

  “He got out of surgery a little while ago. I think they had to put a rod or pins in his leg, but he should recover fine.”

  Finley nodded. “When are they going to let me out of here?”

  “The doctor told me possibly this evening, If not, it will be tomorrow.”

  “I’m fine,” Finley mumbled. “Just tired.”

  “That’s why they told you to get some sleep.”

  “I did! I slept for a few hours. It’s almost dark outside,” Finley huffed. “I still feel like I’m in that damn water,” she whispered.

  Tracey patted her hand then walked out into the hallway as Finley’s room phone rang.

  “Hello?” she answered.

  “Mom?”

  “Caitlin?”

  “Oh, my God, Mom! Are you okay?” Caitlin cried.

  “Yes, kiddo. I’m fine, just a little tired.”

  “You’ve been all over the news.”

  “So, I’ve heard.”

  “Did you really tread water while holding onto that man all night?”

  “Yes.”

  “Mom, that’s crazy.”

  “It’s my job, Caitlin.”

  “I know…I just…I can’t believe it. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I promise I’m fine.”

  “Mom has been hysterical. We’re over at Grammy’s house.”

  “Caitlin, do me a favor, go and give her a big hug from me and tell her that I’m okay.”

  “Alright. Do you want to talk to her?”

  Fearing that would only upset both herself and Nicole, especially since she was still confused about everything that had happened, she said, “No. The doctor just came in. I’ll call you when I go home.”

  “You’re going home today?” Caitlin questioned with surprise in her voice.

  “Yes. I told you, I’m fine. I love you. I’ll call you later tonight or first thing in the morning.” She hung up, staring at the empty room. The one voice she’d wanted to hear more than anything during her ordeal at sea, was the one voice she couldn’t bear to hear since being found. She wasn’t sure she could handle the rejection she was sure to face. Reality had obviously slapped Nicole across the face because she hadn’t heard from her at all since their night together.

  “Good news!” Tracey exclaimed, barreling into the room. “You’re being released!”

  “Thank God,” Finley uttered. “I just want to go home.”

  “I don’t blame you. Our flight crew is on leave for the next two days, per the captain.”

  “Really?”

  “Leaving you out there wasn’t easy…on any of us. Greg has taken it pretty hard.”

  “Tracey, I told him to leave me. If he hadn’t listened, you guys would’ve had to ditch or risk crashing. He did the right thing.”

  “He knows that. I know that. It doesn’t make it any easier.”

  “Hey, you guys found me…eventually,” Finley teased, trying to lighten the mood. “I’ll be fine. That is what I am trained to do. It’s my job.”

  *

  Two days later, Finley put the finishing touches on the service coat of her Full Dress Blue uniform. It was basically the same uniform she’d worn to the Veteran’s Day parade, except the shirt was white instead of light blue, and her coat was adorned with her medals instead of the ribbon board. She was being awarded the Coast Guard Medal, which was the highest medal you could earn for a voluntary act of heroism or bravery in the face of great personal danger, not involving actual conflict with an enemy. She checked the decorations on her coat one last time, and was about to pull it on when her doorbell rang.

  Greg was standing on the other side wearing his FDB uniform, when she pulled the door open. She smiled and waved him inside.

  “It’s about time you came around,” she said.


  “I don’t know what to say, other than I’m sorry,” he replied earnestly.

  Finley had never seen such a somber look in his eyes. “Greg, you did your job. I did my job. That’s what we’re trained to do. It was no one’s fault, especially not yours. I told you to go.”

  “I know you did, but I outrank you. I should’ve stayed and tried something else. We should’ve been able to retrieve you.”

  Finley shook her head and sighed. “You know you couldn’t get to me. If you’d have waited any longer, the Coast Guard would be hosting four funerals right now, instead of giving me another medal.”

  “Yeah, congrats on that by the way. The Coast Guard Medal is a big deal.”

  “Thank you for finally coming to get me. Otherwise, my family would be getting it.” She smiled, patting him on the shoulder.

  “Any time. That’s what I’m there for, retrieving your butt when you go swimming.” He grinned.

  Finley laughed, pulling him into a hug. “You did your job, and I wouldn’t have wanted you to do it any other way. If I had died out there while waiting for you to return, it would’ve been an honor because I would’ve died doing what I love,” she said seriously.

  “I know,” he whispered. “Come on, let’s go get you another decoration,” he said, pulling away and standing up straight.

  “You need to catch up,” she teased, looking at his uniform. “And you call yourself an officer.” She shook her head playfully.

  “Hey, we can’t all be as great as you!” he retorted with a smile as he watched her put on her coat and button the gold buttons.

  *

  The award ceremony was full of pomp and circumstance. The entire air station was on hand in full dress. The local news crew was there, filming and conducting a few brief interviews with the high-ranking personnel of the district and air station, as well as Finley. She felt like it was all too much, but she was honored to be recognized for what she’d done. When the rear admiral of her Coast Guard district presented her with the medal, she saw nothing but respect from her peers, subordinates, and commanders as they stood at attention, saluting her.

  After a few pictures of her and the medal with the rear admiral, CAPT. Shultz, CDR. Douglas, CMC. Newberry, and a few others, Finley made her way over to a man in a wheelchair that she’d noticed when she was up on the stage.

  “Mr. Dunleavy,” Finley said, stepping up next to him.

  “Please, call me Harvey,” he replied, reaching out to shake her hand. “They should give you a lot more than just a medal,” he added, pointing to the velvet box in her hand.

  Finley smiled. “This will do.”

  “Honestly, Chief Morris. Thank you for never letting go of me out of there. You risked your own life to save mine, and my family and I will be forever thankful for you,” he stated, squeezing her hand.

  “You’re welcome,” she said, bending down to hug him.

  *

  Once the celebration had concluded, Finley found herself in CMC. Newberry’s office.

  “What you did the other day was more than heroic, Finley. I’ll never know how you were able to hold on to that man, while keeping both of your heads above water, for nearly nine hours.” He shook his head.

  “I don’t know either,” she sighed. “I just knew I was never letting go of him.” She looked up at the wall behind the desk where the Coast Guard motto: Semper Paratus Always Ready, was written below the Coast Guard logo. The words: So Others May Live, were etched below it.

  CMC. Newberry followed her eyes and smiled. “I’m pretty sure I know why you’re in here.”

  Finley nodded. “I’d fly out on a call and jump in the water right now, if I was needed,” she said.

  “I know that. Hell, we all know that. Whether that situation the other day happened or not, I think you’re making the right decision, personally and for your career.”

  “Just so you know, I was leaning in this direction before the events of the other day. I love my job, and if I can help make those coming behind me as good, or even better than I am, then I feel like that’s also my job.”

  “Between you and I, this doesn’t leave this room,” he said. “You’re well on your way to making senior chief.”

  “Really?” she said, a little surprised.

  “Absolutely. People talk and the only way to get into the higher ranks is recognition. When you get recommended for senior chief, and the paperwork comes across his desk to allow or deny the request, the rear admiral will remember your name. He’ll remember this day. Not because you are a woman, but because of the distinguished service you provided to earn that medal.”

  Finley nodded in understanding.

  “I know your post here isn’t up for another six weeks, but there is a new class starting in two weeks at the training center. I spoke to both Commander Hill, the executive officer, and Command Master Chief Wright. They would like you to report before that time so that you can get acquainted with everyone and settle into your new position.”

  “Wow.”

  “They are eager to meet you and think you will be a great role model. In my opinion, you’ll be a lead instructor in no time,” he said with a grin.

  “Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me,” Finley said, shaking his hand.

  “It’s been an honor serving with you,” he replied.

  Finley stood up and walked out of his office. Captain Shultz was standing nearby.

  “I assume we’re losing you a few weeks early,” he said.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Those incoming cadets have no idea how much of an impact you are going to have on their careers. The ones who succeed and become swimmers, will be better at their jobs because of you. The ones who wash out, will have the utmost respect for you,” he stated.

  “Thank you.”

  “You are welcome back to Air Station Merritt Island any time,” he added, shaking her hand.

  Chapter 16

  Finley had never packed her belongs so quickly in her life. Thankfully, the house had come furnished, so all she had was her personal possessions, and a few odds and ends. She’d already given the landlord notice that she’d be out by the last week of December, so moving a couple of weeks early hadn’t been a big deal.

  After a quick goodbye to the neighbor she’d gotten to know so well during Caitlin’s visit, she closed the door to her loaded down SUV and backed out of the driveway. She smiled at the Oasis as she drove past it and turned into another shopping center a few blocks down.

  *

  “Those doughnuts are going to kill you one day,” Finley said, sliding into the booth next to Greg.

  “He thinks they’re better than drinking an energy drink or a triple shot of espresso,” Tracey added, sitting across from them.

  Finley laughed.

  “I hate that you’re leaving,” Tracey said.

  “Aren’t you right behind me?” Finley questioned.

  “Yeah. I have about two months left on post. I found out yesterday that I’m going to Clearwater.”

  “Oh, that’s not bad. At least they didn’t send you north.”

  “True.”

  “I still have two more years here,” Greg stated.

  “I forgot you chose to remain on post last year and they accepted it. That rarely happens,” Finley said.

  “Are you excited or nervous?” Tracey asked.

  “I don’t know. A little bit of both, I guess. Nervous about going home. I’m not sure how all of that will play out. I’m excited about seeing my daughter more, I know that. As far as the swimmer school…I’m going to miss being in the air and jumping out of helos, but I think I’m going to enjoy barking orders and modeling the next generation of rescue swimmers into shape.” She smiled.

  “It’s only for three years. You’ll be back in the air in no time. Just look at how fast this post went by,” Tracey said. “And who knows, maybe we’ll all meet up again at our next transfer.”

  Finley smiled and stood up, hugging both o
f her friends. She grabbed a doughnut out of the box for the road. “Be safe up there, both of you,” she said.

  “Roger,” Greg replied.

  “Text me when you get there, so I know you made it safely. I’d rather be in the air than on the roads,” Tracey said.

  Finley smiled and waved as she walked out the door. She’d made plans to keep in contact with both of them, and she knew she would. She was still in contact with people she’d flown with at all of her posts. Many of whom had called her after seeing her in the news. She slid into the driver’s seat of her SUV, turned the radio, and settled in for the long drive home. It felt so odd to actually be going ‘home’. She had no idea what to expect when she got there. All she knew was her mother had said she could stay with her indefinitely if that’s what she wanted. Although, she’d planned to quickly find a place closer to the base.

  *

  The six-hour drive had taken more like seven and a half with traffic, as well as stops for food and gas. Finley pulled into her mother’s driveway and stretched her stiff muscles. Figuring she could unload the car later, she grabbed her cell phone and her keys, and meandered up the walkway.

  “Mom, it’s me,” she said, knocking on the door.

  Finley’s jaw hit the floor when the lock clicked and the door swung open. Nicole was standing there, looking quite comfortable in an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt, with no shoes.

  “What are you doing here?” Finley asked, stepping inside.

  “Your mom took Caitlin to the movies so we could have some time to talk.”

  “What’s there to talk about?” Finley said as she walked into the living room, setting her keys and phone on the table. She turned back to look at Nicole and as she stepped closer, she noticed tears in her eyes.

  “I’m so proud of you for saving that man’s life,” Nicole murmured. “But, don’t you ever jeopardize your own life like that again. We need you too much,” she finished as a few tears rolled down her cheek.