Migrant Hearts

by Isabella Abad

  This took a prudent time, since the authorities had to consult their superiors and they were not sure of anything. In general the groups were settled and, the request brought a little disconcertment to some. Finally, after several days, they were authorized to settle in the southern sector of the village.

  The first times were quiet, the clan was accustomed to living a sedentary period. But when the weeks passed, some began to get restless.

  The economic issue was complicated: there were two markets and the competition of the fabrics was great. In addition the cattle began to grow thin due to little pasture and water was far, for which they happened to come and go. The protests began to get worse and Merin understood, since he saw that things did not work quite well.

  Within a few months the atmosphere was very complicated and the need to leave the place was raised. They had tried it and it had not been adequate. Usem tried to bring peace of mind:

  “We knew that the process would not be easy, and to think that the first place we chose would be ideal was an utopia. But we gain experience and we resist the bad conditions. It is no small thing and it speaks of our ability to adapt.

  Several men agreed with this and in an unanimous election, it was decided to withdraw to the second of the places they had chosen in the first instance. It was two hundred kilometers away, so for several days they experienced the joy of the caravan and the tumult of the transfer. They marched through the desert, enjoying the starry nights and the wind of the day, the temperatures, the ride, the armed and unarmed shops. This oxygenated the clan and calmed the spirits.

  The new place proved to be much more suitable. It was bigger with better resources and the fact of being at crossroads attracted many more people. This made trading more smooth. Opportunities to stay up financially were greater.

  In addition to this, the place awarded to them was more suitable for livestock and bordered with another Tuareg group that had been established a couple of years earlier. This implied teaching and extension of social relations that the young people appreciated.

  Merin's group had been greatly diminished by divisions. The possibility of being more in the nights of poetry and singing, the greater variety of young people of both sexes to interact, more elders to tell stories and share experiences, revitalized the two groups that joined.

  Merin lived this as a triumph, though in his face one could see how the years had passed. The concerns and even guilt of bringing his group to an uncertain future had gripped him. Soon he began to have ailments, which he tried to disguise at the beginning, but which became evident in a couple of years.

  Usem watched this with concern: his father was the mainstay of the clan and of himself and feared that something would happen to him. When he said this, the old leader would smile and look at him

  "Ah, boy. You are my pride, do you not see?

  Usem's life had changed and had become indispensable for the clan. The consultations, the desires, the complaints, everything went through him who intermediated to reduce the conflicts on his father. He was firm and calm, and this calmed everyone.

  At night, however, certainties abandoned him and he plunged into the nostalgia of a lost love. He longed for Victoria, remembered the details of his short passion and treasured the romance he lived as an amulet.

  "What would become of her? How would she have run her life?" He asked himself every night.

  Of course, as the years slowly passed, the sensations were cushioned and were kept in a corner of memory, from which came up from time to time.

  After going back and forth he finally consolidated his relationship with Dassim, who was left alone when her suitor had withdrawn in the first partition of the group. She did not know if it was loneliness, passion or love that brought them together. Probably all that.

  They were a solid couple and they got along very well. She was a practical woman and solved daily problems quickly, as well as being very passionate. Their nights were of pleasure and laughter, and although Dassim knew that Usem's heart did not belong to her completely, it did not bother her. Her rival was a mirage, a distant dream, and she hoped it would vanish over time.

  The clan passed from the good and the bad but succeeded in adapting to these swings. What became clear was that tribal life was lost and although the community still existed, individual desires became more peremptory.

  Being settled definitively as they were, they saw other life options, other worlds and opportunities and young people began to think of change as inevitable and desirable. Little by little the traditions became less peremptory, less interesting, less necessary.

  Eighteen.

  What absolutely modified Usem´s life were two events that happened almost without solution of continuity.

  Dassim became pregnant and this aroused the man's deepest longing, who spent nine months of gestation caring for his wife in the smallest details. The moment of childbirth was magical and when his little daughter was born his life was permanently captivated. The baby was an injection of encouragement for the whole family and decided to call her Titrit, which meant star in the Tuareg dialect.

  But as life and death are mingled every day, to the joy of the birth of the child, sadness over Merin's death happened two weeks later. This one had worsened in the last year and although Usem urged him to go to a care center that was in the city, he let himself be. He believed that Allah had already determined his destiny and his task was fulfilled. He also saw his logical successor in his son, and that had reassured him. He died in peace during the night. Usem lamented his loss unspeakably, but taking care of his daughter sustained him.

  Three more years went by and Titrit grew beautiful and healthy. What was hopelessly calm was the unity of the clan by the inertia of the day to day. The autarky of the past that had led them to share everything they had and work corporately, no longer existed. Leadership was barely anecdotal and unnecessary, so meetings soon became less frequent and occasionally simply to remember.

  This caused some guilt in Usem; Had he failed in the task his father had entrusted to him? Dassim, with her particular practicality, stamped the reality:

  “Can you force life into the community? The leadership? Can you keep the world from flowing in us? As true as the sun rises and sets every other day.

  He was aware of this, but he felt more secure if someone else endorsed it. It made him even more relieved to chat with the elders and see that they did not consider dismemberment their responsibility.

  "Young people no longer accept their culture, their traditions," one lamented. They run after utopias and crazy dreams. The Tuareg way of life is dead and there is no one to keep it.

  What precipitated a new change for Usem and his family was the conjunction of disease, bad economy and war. The epidemic of Ebola fell on African peoples causing death in its step and although the town of Usem was not in the immediate range of action of the disease, the threat was real. The countries most affected principally were Sierra Leone and Nigeria bordering Mali. Travelers passing through the village gave account and described the magnitude of the tragedy.

  "It is a sure death; if you touch a member of a family the horror is near.

  He was frightened. He knew how deadly the disease was, and the thought that his family was being mowed down again worried him. There was no cure, at least he knew, and the efforts of humanitarian organizations and some countries committed to the struggle were not enough. It was a tragedy of a very important scale.

  They were too close, not enough sand to stop the virus. He was unwilling to expose his Star, his little daughter, to the siege of a merciless evil.

  But he gnaw away at the promise he had made to his father. He died with the assurance that he would take care of the clan. He was at a crossroads between what his heart asked and what his mind suggested. If the first spoke of loyalties, commitments and love of the land, the second reasoned that death was near if he did not leave.

  The situation was settled because fate put Badis back on the r
oad. They had barely heard from him the last few years, lost references from passing travelers.

  One morning he and a contingent of warriors entered the city. He knew that his clan was settled there and about the death of his father, and he came to claim what he considered his legacy. Thus he established it with haughtiness as soon as he approached the elders.

  They heard him and tried to make him understand that the clan no longer existed as such but there was a greater attempt to reason with him with greater stubborn answer.

  "I knew this was going to happen, I announced. Merin bought the ruin of our people by accepting that cursed Usem! "He bellowed.

  "We have done what was necessary to survive, and on the way we have broken up," one of the elders said indulgently.

  "Our people must have left when I asked for it!" The fight was the only way out. You have all sold yourself to the white devils, your souls have become commodified!

  "Usem guided us wisely," said another of the Tuareg.

  "Usem was the ruin of my father and yours. Now it's time to decide again, "he shouted with wild eyes." Are you with Usem or with me? " Until midnight I await your response. And if you are not with me, stick to the consequences. You will be treated as my enemies and those of Allah.

  Shouting this to the four winds, they went away.

  Usem was a silent witness from the protection of his house. His first impulse was to leave; he was not a coward who hid in the shadows and he knew he had nothing to reproach himself for.

  But the half-brother's unrestrained attitude again indicated that the conversation was meaningless. There was no chance of changing Badis and his thinking or the lack of it.

  The elders who had led the meeting quickly approached him. Their concern was noticeable; they had just been formally threatened and had less than half a day to respond.

  "You know we respect you, Usem," the younger man began. Nothing that Badis can say or do changes what we have experienced. We know you've done the impossible to bring us safely here and take care of us these years. But we are in a dilemma and this man is dangerous. He has lost his sense of reality and family. It is clear that your rancor guides you.

  "I know it well. The problem is not you, it could not be, "answered the young man calmly.

  "The community is weak. What can we bring to your army? And he knows it. He uses us as an excuse to get to you and put you in the middle.

  "It's very clear, and my decision is already made," he said.

  Although the game had not been in their plans, it was the answer to their fear to the Ebola and the threat of Badis.

  "I'm leaving, I'm not going to enable my brother's revenge with my presence." Right now I'm a stumbling block. Once one is not, one is sure to lose interest in you.

  The old men were stirred uneasily. The first impulse was to refuse, but they understood that there were no other options. And so it was accepted.

  The burden it took for Usem to leave when he had promised his father to stay was washed away by this imponderable destiny.

  "Take it easy and may Allah protect you, O son of Merin. You did more than it was necessary. We would not be here if it were not you. We have camped on safe ground and that is your merit and that of your father, "answered the elder.

  “We release you from any commitment you think you have with us. This is now our home and we will stay here. What Allah keeps for us, that we shall have, "said another.

  Nineteen

  With his conscience cleared, he tugged all his clothes and set off. This would be hard, especially because at the beginning he did not have a certain destination. Usem did not know the terrain so much as to make long-range plans and Dassim even less.

  She had accepted the decision without hesitation and with astonishing calm. She prepared everything in time and in less than three hours they were on the way. They were running fast. There was the danger that Badis would follow them because the old threat he had made was still pending.

  The idea was to move away from the central focus of the virus and try to avoid areas of armed conflict. It was like moving through a minefield. The march had to be quick with short breaks during the day to be able to arrive every night to a safe place for his family. The goal was always to the north. Approaching the Mediterranean as much as possible, where people were less exposed and the chances of successful settlement were perhaps greater.

  The plan was implemented effectively since the two women were coupled to their ideas and postponed complaints and tiredness, which both felt much. The journey was exhausting, the forced march undermined the forces and reverberated in the body (always tired, always sore) and in the spirit.

  Even for Dassim, accustomed to nomadism, the trip was devastating. The little Titrit showed her very good temperament taking everything as a great game and comforting with the purity of her candor and love to both adults.

  "Did I do well, Dassim?" Asked one particularly cold night, Usem

  They were camped outside a Moroccan village. They had traveled mostly on camels and wagon then they chose to change to some horses. When the horses could not render more service, the journey was then based on the goodwill of medical teams who rode in all-terrain vehicles to places and gave the family several opportunity of rides.

  "We've done well to flee from death, that's for sure. I am not so convinced of what our path will be now. I have followed you till here and I will continue to do so. But we are already far from the squad. Where Next?

  Usem took a deep breath and was slow to reply. His first thought had been to run away from chaos. Second, find a good land in North Africa where to settle with better opportunities for the life of his family. But as they approached the target his nostalgia for Europe began to besiege him.

  The prospects of giving their offspring a better life than they were living were not in Africa. He was not a native, he did not have a trade that would allow him to survive outside the life of a clan. He was not prepared for Dassim to bear the burden of child support. Besides, now that his daughter was growing up, he wanted to offer her the best he could, to ensure her a peaceful life, to give her better educational opportunities. All of that was in Europe.

  But he had not said anything to Dassim until now. He did not know what the woman would think; it was to pull her from her roots and plunge her into an abysmally different world. Now that she was asking, Usem told himself it was time to talk.

  “Well, Dassim. I've been thinking...”

  "I've seen it, yes. You have been meditating. What is going around your head?

  Slowly he was throwing out his ideas. He argued his reasons, explained his fears, all before the thoughtful silence of the woman. Once he finished, he looked at her anxiously.

  -What do you think?

  "I will follow you," she said simply. You are my family, I trust you.

  "I fear it will costs you to adapt." Besides, it will not be easy to cross. I have papers, of course, but I must find out about your situation and that of Titrit. If it gets complicated, we should go by illegal crossing. And this is difficult and dangerous.

  "I will follow you," she said again.

  He hugged her touchingly. She was a woman of exceptional temperament and integrity in the face of every situation. She would certainly adapt, perhaps better than he thought.

  What was left now was to go to the embassies or consulates of some European country to process citizenship for both. I wish there were no obstacles, the situation was unruly at the political level and I knew of the misgivings before the population of Muslim origin as they were.

  They continued advancing through Moroccan territory until reaching Tangier, on the shores of the Mediterranean Sea. As they approached they gained access to more information from the local settlers.

  That was how Usem learned of the difficulties that the Spanish and Moroccan governments had established in Ceuta and Melilla, cities in which they shared land border. They tried to discourage all migration, to stop the desperate ones who came from the south like them.
He also learned about the operation of the boats, the precarious vessels in which migrants were smuggled at a high price. The locals spoke with fear and distrust of the boats and related histories that altered Usem. Deaths were frequent, shipwrecks more than usual.

  - But many arrive and are aided by humanitarian organizations - they related as well.

  "It's the lottery of fate," said others.

  The perspectives that these stories posed were very bleak.

  Twenty.

  He was very disappointed. He had gone through the embassies, and in all of them the waiting had been extensive. The answer in all cases was the same: they could not use the category of refugees because they did not belong to national groups immersed in conflicts.

  He had no problem with that, but his daughter's filiation had to be certified. This was not difficult, at birth he had done things in order and had enrolled her, despite Dassim thought that it was not necessary. She herself and her family, like the majority of the clan, did not appear in the official records of Niger or Mali, which were the spaces through which they had travelled all their lives. He had insisted that he knew the importance of existing before governments for all kinds of procedures.

  For all this, the situation of Dassim was quite more complex. Besides they were not married and doing so involved a series of paperwork and paperwork with which they could not count on. It was hopeless. So much that he spent days and days trying to clear roads to perform Dassim paperwork in Morocco, but it was not possible.

  As they were seeing the fruitlessness of the legal ways, other routes of departure were proposed, which finally Usem discarded with firmness.