I am Mrs. Jesse James

by Pat Wahler

  “A toast to my beautiful wife. May we always be as happy as we are today.”

  I clinked my cup against his, resisting the urge to suggest we return to our bed.

  The next few days flew by faster than I could have imagined. We walked trails near the farm, held hands without a second thought over who might see us, and talked about the times we’d shared and our dreams for the future. Jesse’s steps were light as he moved along the path.

  “We have no ties and can go wherever we want. Doesn’t that sound like a fine life?”

  “The idea of visiting new places is appealing,” I admitted. “The boarding house kept us so busy, we could seldom ever leave it. I’ve only been on a train three times in my life.”

  He laughed and ran his fingers down a strand of my hair, making me shiver in spite of the warm sunlight.

  “There’s a world of things to see, and I hope to show you much of it. Going from one place to another is something I’ve always enjoyed. Never the same view twice.”

  “Yes, that does sound wonderful. Yet at some point”—my cheeks grew warm— “we might have children to think of. Will we settle somewhere then?”

  “Ah, Zee. Let’s worry about that when the time comes. Now we should just enjoy being together.”

  He kissed my hand, and I forgot the silly notion. Jesse tickled me and I dashed away from him, giggling like I hadn’t done since childhood.

  Yet too soon, the morning arrived when we were to depart. My bags were packed, but I dreaded the long ride to Texas without my new husband beside me.

  Jesse had the buggy hitched and Reuben sat in the driver’s seat, dangling the reins from his hand while Jesse loaded my bags. His bay mare stood nearby, saddled, and waiting.

  Eight-year-old Archie, Jesse’s youngest half-brother, played a tuneless melody for us on a wooden flute Jesse had given him. The other children hooted and erupted in laughter at his attempts. The child’s crestfallen face prompted me to whisper in his ear. “That’s beautiful, Archie. Thank you for such a sweet tune.”

  His small chest expanded with pride and I hugged him, before saying good-bye to the other children and Reuben. Then I kissed Zerelda’s cheek. “There aren’t words enough to thank you for all you’ve done for us.”

  She patted my arm. “I ask you both to take care. Stay far away from anyone who means you harm.”

  Jesse nodded and kissed his mother, agreeing dutifully to what she asked. From the look on his face, I suspected this must have been a frequent exchange between them. He helped me into the buggy, and then handed me a small stack of paper currency that he’d pulled from his bulging coat pocket.

  “This should be enough for your ticket and anything you may need until I join you. Remember though, when you make your purchase, use a name—any name you want except your own. Then send a telegram to Susie and let her know when you’ll arrive. She’ll meet the train and take you to her house. It won’t be long before I join you.”

  I clung to his hand, unwilling to have him leave me.

  “How long will we stay in Texas?”

  “For a while, I think. Even a month in Texas wouldn’t be enough to show you everything. We’ll spend some time with Alan and Susie before heading to Galveston. Just wait until you see the coast.” Jesse winked. “Did you hear my little sister is teaching school now? Imagine Susie running a classroom!”

  He laughed out loud at the notion, and I knew he’d find a dozen ways to devil her over it. Jesse went to his horse and lifted himself into the saddle. Leaning his weight into the stirrups, he touched his hat once to me before digging in his heels to send the horse galloping off toward the woods. His mount lifted like a bird over the split-rail fence and disappeared from my view.

  Reuben stared after him. I touched his arm, and he clucked to the horse.

  “This will be the longest train trip I’ve ever taken,” I said. “I hope I don’t get off at the wrong city.”

  “Ask the porter to help you. He can let you know whenever you need to switch to another train and when it’s your final stop.”

  “I hadn’t thought about changing trains. Thank you, Reuben. That’s good for me to know.”

  My stomach fluttered over the thought of traveling so far away, but I couldn’t stop smiling. I had once thought my life dull. Now it seemed anything could happen.

  The depot bustled with passengers strolling the platform near the train. I hugged Reuben and carried my bag to the clerk. Then, with eyes downcast, I bought the ticket.

  “Passage to Texas for Mrs. Edgar Warren, please.” I used the first name that came to my mind, waiting for the clerk to eye me with suspicion and call for the sheriff. But he only took my money and passed the ticket along to me with a few dollars’ change. After I sent Susie a telegram, I boarded the train and nodded politely at the other passengers, until I found my seat. The air in the car was heavy and warm with the pungent odor of many bodies in a small space. I leaned back and heard the whistle blow. The scent of dark smoke and coal-powered steam reached the car.

  My hands smoothed wrinkles from my skirt before I opened the painted folding fan my sister Lucy had given me as a wedding gift. The vigorous fanning did little more than move stagnant air around and muss my hair as the train clacked along.

  I put down the fan and let my eyelids drift together. Train travel soothed me like a lullaby. Throughout the trip, I dozed off and on, letting thoughts float through my dreams like pleasant ghosts.

  The porter woke me when we arrived in Sherman. The scene outside surprised me. I thought the town would be small, but there were men in suit coats strolling on the train platform while women lifted parasols to shade them from the afternoon sun. Houses stood beyond the depot and the road was congested with wagons and buggies. I stepped from the train and looked one way then the other until a woman’s voice caught my attention.

  “Hello! I’m over here.”

  Susie waved a gloved hand at me.

  I lifted my bag with both hands and weaved my way toward her to avoid jostling anyone else.

  Even though it had been more than two years since I’d seen her, Susie hadn’t changed a bit. Her blue eyes sparkled, and her dark-blonde hair gleamed in the sun. I dropped my bag and she pulled me into a hug. Then she stepped back and tilted her head to study my face.

  “You’ve never looked better. Marriage to my scamp of a brother must agree with you.”

  My cheeks flushed and I smiled. “Yes, I suppose it does.” Susie took my arm, and we moved with the crowd’s flow. She waved at a few of the ladies we passed, and they nodded. “Quite a few of our friends from Missouri have settled here,” she said. “Texas is a friendly place for those who fought for the South.”

  “I thought Sherman would be a quiet little town.”

  “It used to be, before wheat and cotton buyers flooded the area. When we first arrived, the people still struggled under the government’s idea of forcing southerners back into the Union. But look at us now.” She pointed at a construction site where men were pounding boards. “See over there? The town can barely keep up with building enough places for everyone to stay.”

  I recalled Susie’s marriage in 1870 to Alan Parmer, one of Frank’s former comrades under Quantrill. Not long after their wedding, the couple had relocated to Sherman, Texas, where Alan got a job managing the Stone Land and Cattle Company. Jesse had told me he and Frank made frequent visits to see the Parmers and other former rebel fighters who preferred a looser interpretation of how Reconstruction ought to look.

  When we reached Susie’s tidily whitewashed home, an idea struck me. I decided to test it out on her.

  “Has Jesse ever spoken to you of moving to Texas?”

  Susie frowned and pursed her lips.

  “I know my brother enjoys spending time here, but he’s never mentioned staying. I’m not sure if he’d be eager to leave Missouri, where he knows every creek and valley like the back of his hand.”

  She opened the front door. I stepped inside, and my g
aze was immediately drawn to a large Confederate flag hanging over the fireplace. It dominated the room like a prized centerpiece.

  Susie noticed my open-mouthed expression and laughed. “Alan is quite proud of that flag. It went through several skirmishes with him and Frank when they fought under William Quantrill.”

  “At home, we must be careful of such displays, lest authorities claim we were violating the Oath of Allegiance.”

  Susie nodded. “You’ll find there’s not much worry over the oath here.” She pulled off her gloves. “You must be exhausted after your trip. Let’s get you settled into a room.”

  18

  I enjoyed spending time with Susie and Alan, laughing at their stories and admiring the fine life they’d built for themselves. Yet it had been nearly a week since I’d been with Jesse. I peeked outside more than once each day, longing for the sight of him.

  Susie and I were in the kitchen stacking dishes when she looked out the window and smiled. “I do believe you have a visitor, Zee.”

  She wiped her hands and went to the door. I followed her, smoothing my hair with a thumping heart.

  “Well, it’s about time you got here. Your bride has been worrying,” Susie said and gave him a soft slap on the arm.

  Jesse bent to hug her, but his eyes stayed on me. He released his sister and walked across the braided rug to put his arms around my waist, his face lit up with nearly palpable desire. He pressed his lips against mine until Susie coughed.

  “Time enough later for that, my dears. How was your trip?”

  “Fair enough, I suppose, though it would have been nicer to have my wife with me.”

  He kept his arm around me and I leaned against him. His gaze lifted to the Confederate flag.

  “Well, I see it’s still here.” He looked down at me, pride written clearly across his face. “Zee, did Susie tell you about that flag? It means a lot to Alan. To all of us.”

  “Yes, she did. It must bring back memories.”

  “I’m sure you’re hungry, Jess,” Susie said, heading toward the kitchen. “Let me get you something to eat, then we can talk. I’m so glad you’re both here, though seeing you reminds me how much I miss my family and home.”

  “Speaking of home,” Jesse said with a grin, “I couldn’t believe it when Ma told me my little sister is now a schoolteacher. Well, ma’am, tell me, just how many students have you made wear the dunce cap this week?”

  “For your information, I have ten children in class, and none of them have done a thing to deserve such treatment. They’re not at all the reprobate you were. As I remember, Ma had to take much sterner methods than a dunce cap to keep you learning your lessons.”

  He threw back his head and guffawed. “And I have the pinched ears to prove it!” He winked at me and turned back to his sister. “Where’s Alan?”

  “He should be home soon. He’s looking forward to spending time with you again.”

  “We’ll stay a few more days, then be on our way to Galveston. Can you believe Zee’s never seen the ocean? I’d like to spend a good long while enjoying it before we take ourselves back home.”

  I smiled at their lighthearted banter. Texas and its beauty, or even exotic Mexico, seemed like an adventure waiting to happen. I wanted to speak of places we might go and things we would do, yet I stayed silent, unsure of what Jesse might want shared or kept secret. I had already learned the intricate details of my new role as the wife of a hunted man.

  After helping Susie clean up the dinner plates, I walked outside with Jesse, our fingers entwined. The ground was hard and cracked as stone. Trees and flowers were brown and crisp from heat. Yet in the distance, the sky had darkened. A flash lit heavy clouds, followed a few seconds later by the rumble of thunder. I took a deep breath of air that held the promising scent of rain.

  “Susie says it’s been weeks since they’ve even had drizzle. It looks as though a storm is heading our way. That will be a blessing.”

  “Yes.” Jesse lifted my hand and touched his lips to it. “Do you know how much I missed you, sweetheart?”

  “I only know how lonely I’ve been waiting to see you again.”

  He pulled me closer, and his lips nuzzled my hair.

  I seized the moment of tenderness to speak aloud what I’d been thinking. “Texas is a beautiful place. I can’t wait to see more of it. And Mexico. Wouldn’t it be heavenly to explore together? Perhaps if the day comes when we want to settle down, Alan could find a job for you here in Texas and we could live far away from those in Missouri who chase after you.”

  Jesse raised a quizzical brow.

  “I like it well enough here, I suppose. Spending time in Texas is something I enjoy, though I’ve never considered staying. But one thing I can say for certain is I don’t aim to settle for a job herding someone else’s cattle.”

  “Dearest, going anywhere with you will make me happy. You’ve given me a reason to anticipate each new day. My worry is over detectives and men who are after blood money.”

  His hand stroked my back. “Let me ease your mind. Do you know how many times I’ve ridden through a town bold as you please in broad daylight? If there’s one thing I’ve learned about lawmen, it’s that none of them ever think to look for me in obvious places. You worry too much.”

  “Perhaps you don’t worry enough. You’ve been lucky so far. Someday your luck might run out.”

  He stepped away from me and pulled the penny I had returned to him from his pocket. The coin flipped in the air, and he caught it neatly when it fell.

  “My luck is here to stay. Have a little faith. I promise no detective or bounty hunter will ever find me unless I aim for them to.”

  I chewed my lip, unwilling to disagree further on the first day of our honeymoon. He was so self-confident, it frightened me more than if he took threats seriously. I reminded myself I’d gotten what I wanted, and knew wherever we went, my life would not be tame again.

  The next day, Jesse drove me around town. He pointed out the brick office where Alan worked, and a tiny schoolhouse made of chinked logs where Susie taught her young students.

  When we reached a wooded area, he stopped the buggy and turned to me.

  “How well can you shoot a gun?”

  “I haven’t handled a gun except for a few times when one of my brothers let me shoot their hunting rifle at a tin can.”

  “That’s what I thought. I want you to learn how to use a pistol. It’s the best way to protect yourself during times when I’m not around.”

  He yanked a weapon from the holster he’d secured around his hip faster than I could blink, and sun glinted off the barrel.

  “This is my Colt. You can’t get a better gun.” He pointed it toward the trees. “Look over there. See that blackbird sitting yonder on the branch?”

  I nodded and Jesse aimed the gun, pulled back the hammer, and fired. The bird dropped from the branch, dead as a stone. Then he aimed and fired again at a knot in the tree’s trunk. Another pop, and the bullet hit its mark.

  He handed the pistol to me.

  “Now you try. Look down the barrel to aim at what you want to hit.”

  I held up the gun with two hands and aimed at a tree branch. When I pulled the trigger, the gun fired but the bullet missed. Jesse laughed and told me to try again. After I puffed and sweated over firing nearly a dozen shots, one rang true, and Jesse nodded.

  “Good job. But remember, you’ll need to practice, and don’t expect to hit a target from too far away, though you don’t want someone who means you harm very close either. Aim for the chest. It’s the easiest target to hit.”

  I gave the pistol back. “Jesse, I’m not sure I could ever shoot anyone.”

  “Yes, you could,” he told me, his eyes suddenly grim. “When it means your life or the life of someone you love, you’ll find you can do just about anything.”

  Later that evening, we spoke over dinner of a letter Susie had received that day from Zerelda.

  “Ma wrote that she’s never
seen anything like it,” Susie said. “Grasshoppers swarming in black clouds and dropping from the sky like hailstones. They ate up everything. Crops and grass and leaves, and even the clothes hanging on the line. Hundreds of miles of ground were hit. She says there’ll be nothing much left for anyone to harvest come fall.”

  Jesse arched a brow and looked at Alan. “I’ve heard of such things happening, but never witnessed it. Sounds like a plague straight out of the Bible. Ma sure doesn’t need any more trouble than she’s already got.”

  After dinner, Jesse kissed me and said not to wait up. He and Alan planned to rehash old battle strategies with their friends. Susie’s two-year-old son, Robert Archie, climbed on my lap and I forgot to worry over Zerelda’s letter. Susie fussed over her sweet blond baby and I remembered that she’d suffered several miscarriages before he was born. The child’s round rosy cheeks and precious smile captivated me, and I wondered how soon it would be until I held a baby of my own.

  Alan returned home within a few hours, but Jesse didn’t come back until early the next morning, smelling of stale whiskey and cigars. I raised a brow when I discussed with Susie his late night, but she only shrugged in amusement as though we were talking about a high-spirited child. Jesse slept until dawn, then rose in a petulant humor to load the buggy with our bags. His lack of sleep from the previous night had drained him, and he looked as though he’d rather be back in bed still.

  I hugged Susie and promised her we’d soon have another visit. My heart had lightened when Jesse told me we would travel together on the train to Galveston. It would be our first official trip as man and wife. I put on the dress he claimed deepened the blue of my eyes and pinned on my favorite hat, tilted forward, with silk ribbons trailing down the back. Jesse looked at me and blinked the exhaustion from his eyes. His mouth tugged a little as he offered his arm. I dropped a small curtsy and took it, like a queen.

  The depot smelled of damp wood, dirt, and too many people. While Jesse purchased our tickets, I waited next to a stack of penny newspapers. With a smug look, he requested passage from the balding clerk for Mr. and Mrs. William Campbell. I stared at the papers to keep from smiling, until a headline caught my eye. A daring late-night stagecoach robbery had taken place outside Sherman. I backed away from the papers as though they were on fire and watched Jesse make small jokes with the clerk.