I am Mrs. Jesse James

by Pat Wahler

  “Come in and sit down. You know you can count on me. Boling is at the mercantile now. I’ll speak with him tonight, but I feel sure he won’t object as long as we’re discreet.”

  “Let him know Jesse and I plan to marry within the week,” I said, linking my arm with hers as we walked to the small settee in the parlor.

  “It’s finally happening. I can scarcely take it in. Have the two of you spoken of where you’ll go after you marry?”

  “No, we haven’t had time to talk about that. I’m sure Jesse will have ideas on what’s best for us.”

  Lucy placed her hand over her rounded stomach. “Zee, you know I love you and Jesse very much, but I confess to being worried. It sometimes seems as though he has no concern over himself at all.”

  “Don’t you think he would have been captured long before now if he wasn’t careful? I’m not afraid, and you shouldn’t be either.”

  Lucy smiled at me, but her eyes were troubled.

  When darkness fell, Jesse came to see me. He kissed my cheek and hugged Lucy before nodding at Boling, who kept his face arranged in stiff lines. At Lucy’s urging, Boling had agreed to host our wedding. We decided on a simple ceremony without any frills or frippery. April 24, 1874. The date took residence in my brain like a favorite hymn. I wanted to sing it aloud. Jesse rose from the table where we’d made our plans and shook Boling’s hand.

  “I must leave now, but not before thanking you. I’ll never forget this.” Then he turned to me and grinned. “Tomorrow morning at nine o’clock I’ll meet you at Uncle Billy’s, and we’ll ask him to perform the ceremony.”

  Mama’s younger brother, the Reverend William James, was a Methodist minister, and a man we knew we could trust. But the next day when we arrived and discussed our intentions with him, the whiskers on his chin quivered with outrage. “How can you consider such a thing, Zee?”

  Uncle Billy used every argument at his disposal to dissuade me from marrying Jesse, citing the many accusations against him, but I remained firm in my resolve. He finally conceded when I used the statement that won any argument I’d ever had with myself about Jesse.

  “He’s not half as bad as the newspapers make him sound, Uncle Billy. Most of what they say isn’t even true.”

  Once Uncle Billy finally agreed, he turned to Jesse and lectured him at length on the error of his ways and the wisdom of placing his feet on a new path. Jesse uncharacteristically stared at the floor and suffered the scolding with no reply other than a flushed face and curt nod.

  Lucy and I made preparations for the wedding. I didn’t feel at all cheated, and loved the idea of a simple affair with only our closest family members present to witness the moment I’d envisioned for so long.

  As I expected, Mama declined to attend, but my sister, Nancy, and three of my brothers planned to come with their families. Frank wasn’t in town—Jesse suspected he was courting—nor could Uncle Reuben and Aunt Zerelda make the trip without raising suspicion among bounty hunters who were vigilant in their search for clues. Jesse promised Zerelda we’d visit her at the farm soon after we were wed.

  My nervousness and excitement grew in equal measure. At last we would have our own special day. And once we were wed, no one would ever separate us again.

  On the morning of the wedding, Lucy and I gathered late-blooming tulips and displayed them in arrangements of yellow, red, and orange throughout the room. She even loaned me the white silk gown and veil that she had worn a few years earlier. Jesse wanted me to have a new dress, but I preferred Lucy’s. It made me feel secure, as if I’d been wrapped in her love.

  While the guests arrived, I peeked out the bedroom door and saw Jesse in a new dark-gray suit and well-polished black boots. With a lily blossom pinned to his lapel, he looked dashing enough to be a hero in any storybook.

  Over in a quiet corner of the room, Uncle Billy stood silent with a heavy Bible tucked under his arm. He looked so glum the guests might have mistaken the occasion for a funeral rather than a wedding.

  I shut the door and Lucy helped me hook up the back of her beautiful silk gown. Then she pinned my hair into a chignon, and tucked a short lacy veil under orange blossoms that sat like a crown on my head. She took my hand and squeezed it.

  “You look lovely.”

  I hugged her and then we walked together into the parlor. All eyes turned toward me, and my heart swelled with emotion. Jesse’s eyes widened. I realized he’d never seen me in anything but everyday calico, and smiled. I took my place next to him, while the soft warm glow of lamplight illuminated our faces.

  Uncle Billy opened his Bible and cleared his throat. “We are gathered together this day—”

  The sound of hoof beats and shouts halted his words. Jesse patted his hip reflexively for a gun that wasn’t there, then dashed to the window. He stared a moment before holding up a hand to our startled guests. “It’s Bill Fox!”

  My heart pounded. Why was one of Jesse’s comrades coming here now? My brother, David, opened the door and Bill ran into the room, puffing with breathlessness.

  “Two detectives got wind you’re here. They’re not far behind me.”

  Jesse nodded. “Good work, Bill. Best you ride out now. Wait in the woods for me.”

  Quick as a blink, Jesse grabbed my arm. Our guests looked around the room as though deciding whether to stay or flee.

  “Everyone be calm. I’m going to hide Zee then ride out for a while. When the detectives come to the door, just say you’re here for a family party.”

  With only four rooms in Lucy’s house, I wondered where Jesse could hide me. Our guests stood open-mouthed, too shocked to respond, and Jesse whisked me to the bedroom, lifting a fat feather mattress from the bed.

  “Lie down here. I’ll leave a space at the top for air.”

  Numbly, I did as he bade.

  “Don’t worry, just stay quiet as you can. I’ll let you know when it’s all right to come out.”

  He kissed me and settled the mattress on my body. I lay there, listening to my heart gallop until enough time passed that my forehead dampened. Voices mumbled from the parlor, and I strained to hear the words.

  Uncle Billy’s voice rose above the others.

  “He is not here. Please leave my niece’s home.”

  My ears buzzed when the staccato rhythm of boots clumped across the wood floor. I held my breath and waited. Would someone burst into the bedroom and find me? But no one did, and soon the hum of many people speaking at once reached my ears.

  A horse whinnied and I heard the high-pitched rebel howl. “Yaooow!” I turned my head, trying to make sense of what was happening.

  An unfamiliar man’s voice boomed out.

  “I see him. It’s Jesse James! Let’s go.”

  Feet scuttled, and more hoof beats met my ears. Seconds ticked by, and then minutes. No one came to fetch me, and I knew I would go mad if I didn’t find out what was happening. I pushed the mattress off, tiptoed to the bedroom door, and opened it. The women were huddled around a small parlor window and I called out to them.

  “What’s going on outside? Where’s Jesse?”

  Lucy came to me and put her arm around my waist.

  “When the detectives came to the door, Jesse rode past the house and jumped his mare over the fence, yelling at the top of his lungs. The detectives ran to their horses and rode out after him.”

  I closed my eyes and shook my head. It seemed not even after years of waiting would the fates allow me the happiness of a wedding.

  Lucy bade me sit down and brought a glass of water. “Drink this, dearest. Please don’t think the worst. I’m sure Jesse will be fine.”

  I smoothed the wrinkles that had been pressed into her wedding gown and tried to blink away the tears gathering in my eyes.

  David patted my shoulder. “He’ll be back. I know he will. We must give him time. His horse is fast, and he knows the woods like no one else.”

  Boling, clearly shaken by the events that had transpired, retrieved a small
bottle of whisky and poured two swallows for all the men except David, who was studying to become a Baptist minister and never took a drink of liquor.

  The clock ticked. We waited a full hour, and it nearly brought me to tears wondering whether we should send everyone home. Lucy patted my hand and I tried to swallow my disappointment. This couldn’t be happening—and yet, it had. I took a breath to speak when the sound of a horse brought me to my feet, ready to race for the bedroom to hide.

  David sprinted to the door and peered into the darkness. Finally, he spoke. “It’s all right. He’s back.”

  A few minutes later, Jesse ambled through the door. His suit wasn’t even rumpled and he grinned as though he’d just won the Derby. He smoothed his hair and straightened his black silk neck tie.

  “It must not be overly difficult to become a detective these days.” Jesse’s eyes twinkled. “Those fellows were riding plugs, and I’m sure they’re now so turned around in the woods it’ll take them two days to find their way out.”

  He slapped David’s back and guffawed.

  Uncle Billy fixed a keen eye on me. “Zee, I ask you again. Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

  A niggling doubt cast a shadow over me. Was this an omen of how I’d spend the rest of my life? I studied Jesse’s face and saw a hint of vulnerability beneath the veneer of his triumphant smile. I could not deny my feelings for him, and even though my heart was in my throat, I spoke one emphatic word. “Yes.”

  Moments later, my family watched as Jesse slipped a narrow gold band on my finger, and Uncle Billy pronounced us husband and wife. Jesse placed his firm but gentle lips on mine to the sound of applause. I knew my smile matched Jesse’s as he went around the room shaking hands. Lucy tearfully embraced me before I hugged each person who’d come to witness our marriage, from my youngest niece, to Uncle Billy. All the while, I kept glancing toward Jesse to assure myself he hadn’t disappeared.

  “One drink of punch, Zee, a toast with our guests, and then we must leave without delay,” Jesse told me. “Where there’s one detective, it’s likely another will show up.”

  Boling toasted our union, and glasses were raised. I clinked my goblet against Jesse’s and sipped sweet blackberry wine.

  While Jesse went outside to fetch the horse and buggy from the barn, Lucy helped me unbutton the gown and change into my dark green traveling dress.

  “You’ve chosen a difficult life, Zee. I hope Jesse will make you happy.” She smoothed my hair. “Take care of yourself.”

  I hugged her. “Don’t worry over me. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us. Tell Mama that despite our differences, I love her.”

  In the parlor, Jesse waited for me, thumbs hooked in his belt. I went to stand next to him, and Uncle Billy bowed his head over us.

  “Oh Lord, may you bless and grant safe travel to these young people. I ask that you keep them always in your hands. Amen.”

  Jesse had already loaded a small trunk with the trousseau he’d purchased for me. After tying his horse to the back of the buggy, he lifted me into the seat. We both smiled and waved as would any newlyweds, and he set us on a course to the one place he’d always gone for haven—his mother’s farm.

  As we slowly moved from the lights of Lucy’s house, the stars twinkled in the sky like a million grains of sand. The buggy’s wheels rolled across the rutted road, muffled by dampness and the chirps of crickets. Despite the cover of night, Jesse didn’t relax, and his eyes relentlessly searched this way and that around us.

  I sighed in contentment and reached into the pocket of my dress. “I have something for you.”

  He glanced at me with a raised brow. I opened my fingers and showed him the large copper penny on my palm.

  “You said I should keep this until the day we marry. Now I’m returning it to your care.”

  Jesse took the coin and chuckled. He slipped it into his breast pocket.

  “You’ve kept it for a long time. Now I think this penny will bring luck for us both.”

  I nodded then yawned.

  “Put your head down and try to rest a while, Zee, until we get to Ma’s. I’ll wager she’ll want us to tell her all about the wedding before she lets us go to bed.”

  My cheeks warmed at his words, but exhaustion had a stronger claim. I leaned against Jesse and let my head droop on his muscled shoulder. He put one arm around me, and I fell asleep. Some time later, his body jostled against me, and my eyes opened. The old farmhouse stood before us, one light gleaming from the parlor window.

  “Let’s go in and see Ma.”

  Jesse helped me down. My legs were so stiff that I stumbled and had to take his arm. Zerelda opened the door before we could even knock, as though she had been waiting.

  “My dear daughter,” she said before kissing my cheek.

  Reuben hugged me. His face wore the same vacant expression it had acquired since the day the Federals hanged him from a tall tree near the farmhouse. His cheekbones were more sharply outlined than ever but his eyes were as gentle as I remembered them

  “Tell me everything,” Zerelda commanded in a soft voice, so as not to wake Sarah, John, Fannie, or little Archie, who were already in their beds.

  I spoke to her of dresses, flowers, and our family. Jesse described the nighttime raid, making it sound as though the event had given everyone a good laugh.

  Zerelda’s face darkened like a thundercloud. “The Pinkertons again. They sniff around too much for my taste. I wonder at the wisdom of you staying here any longer than one night.”

  “Don’t worry, Ma. John Edwards is putting a story in the paper saying we left right after the ceremony to live in Mexico. It’s a wedding gift from him to me. The detectives and reporters will be so busy checking for a couple heading south that we can lay low here for a week or two before I put Zee on the train to Susie and Alan in Texas.”

  I looked at him and the mantel clock chimed the hour. “We won’t take the cars together to see your sister?”

  “The last thing we should do is travel anywhere together. It would raise suspicion.”

  I chewed my lip and wondered at his reasoning. I wanted to be with my husband, yet his plan did seem the slightest bit exhilarating, like a secret rendezvous.

  Zerelda interrupted my twisting thoughts. “Well, tonight is your wedding night. I don’t suppose the two of you would care to share a bedroom with the rest of us, so I’ve made up a room especially for you with a nice soft bed.”

  Her eyes gleamed with mischief as she gestured toward a closed door. Then she took Reuben’s arm. “Come along. Let’s go and let the two lovers be.”

  My face flushed as Jesse opened the door. The room glowed with luminous warmth that flickered from three taper candles. I saw a dresser and mirror with one bed. The mattress had a patchwork quilt folded over it. The bright colors made me smile, for I recognized Zerelda’s firm stitches holding all the pieces together.

  Jesse thumped our bag on the floor. He turned and tenderness softened his expression as his arms went around me. I closed my eyes and lifted my chin, waiting for his lips to find mine.

  17

  In the morning, sunlight streamed through the bedroom window, casting light across the bed and over my face. My eyes opened and I stretched languidly like a cat. Only a shallow indentation remained in the spot next to me where Jesse had fallen asleep late in the night. Gathering the quilt around my body, I got up to peek out the window.

  Great puffy white clouds hung suspended in the blue sky. Birds twittered from the stout branches of Zerelda’s favorite coffee bean tree, and golden blossoms on the forsythia bushes danced with an errant breeze. The scent of ham and biscuits reached me, and my stomach reminded me I hadn’t eaten dinner.

  Jesse strolled into the bedroom wearing a white cotton shirt and brown vest over dark pants. His clothes showed no sign of wear, making him look like a prosperous landowner headed for town. He leaned over the bed and gave me a lingering kiss. When he pulled away, I sighed. “Good m
orning, husband.”

  “Good morning, wife,” he responded with a smile. “Ma and Charlotte are cooking us a breakfast that I swear would beat anything served in a high-class hotel. Are you rested enough to get up?”

  My cheeks burned when I remembered what had passed between us during the night. I should indeed be tired, but instead, my body filled with an airy dose of happiness. I stretched again. “Yes. I’ll get dressed and help them with breakfast.”

  Jesse put his hand on my bare arm. “Ma says this morning you are not to lift a finger. She and Charlotte will take care of everything. I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.” He touched my cheek and grinned.

  I jumped out of bed and picked up clothes scattered haphazardly on the floor. Another whiff of food and my stomach rumbled again. Both Zerelda and her former slave, Charlotte, were skilled in the kitchen, so I knew a feast awaited me. I wiggled into my chemise and drawers easily enough, but hooking the corset took more time. A new blue flowered dress looked festive enough to wear for my first day as a wife, so I put it on, smoothed the skirt, and glanced into the mirror.

  The glass reflected wide blue eyes and a tangled mass of hair. I pulled my curls up into a sedate bun and secured it with ivory pins, allowing a few strands to wisp around my face. Then I pinched my cheeks, took a deep breath, and walked to the kitchen.

  There were two plates on a table that held a small pitcher filled with yellow daffodils. Jesse pulled out a chair for me with a flourish as though we were at a fine restaurant. I blushed and sat down. He took his place beside me.

  Charlotte carried in a tray with steaming biscuits, ham, and a pot of thick, hot gravy. She poured coffee into our cups, then grinned. “Miz Zerelda says you are to have breakfast alone. Call out if you need anything else.”

  I reached for the cup. “This looks wonderful. Thank you, Charlotte.”

  We filled our plates and emptied them almost as fast. Jesse heaped his plate with a second helping of food and drowned it in gravy. When he’d eaten every bite, he lifted his coffee cup.