Perfectly Broken

by Maegan Abel

  "It's about time," Lizzie said, irritated as she spun away from me while she spoke. I climbed the steps to the porch before following her into the living room where she was throwing things around as she hunted for something.

  "I told you twenty minutes," I said flatly. It wasn't my intention to be here long enough to argue with her but she certainly seemed determined to piss me off.

  "That was almost an hour ago!" She threw Conner's backpack toward me when she spoke. I caught it easily, narrowing my eyes at her. Apparently, I wasn't just watching him while she went to work. I'd had Conner last weekend for visitation but I wouldn't say no to keeping him again and she knew that.

  "Actually, Elizabeth, it was twenty minutes ago," I responded, struggling to keep my voice even. She hated it when people used her full name and I did it to let her know she was about to push me too far. She glared at me before spinning toward the back of the house.

  "Conner! I have to go! What the hell is taking you so long?" she yelled down the hall. I immediately dropped his backpack by the door where I stood and grabbed her by the elbow before she stormed toward his room.

  "I'll get him, Lizzie. If you need to go, go. I'll lock the door on our way out." I started down the hall, not wanting her to yell at him anymore. If she was in a mood she would take it out on anyone, Conner included. Based on the attitude I'd gotten from the second I walked in, this was one of those times.

  "Fine." I heard the front door slam as I reached Conner's door at the back of the house. I took a deep breath to calm my irritation with Lizzie before facing Conner. Tapping my knuckles on his door as I opened it, I spotted him sitting on the foot of his bed, staring down at the floor.

  "Hey buddy," I said, smiling automatically. There was something about being around him that could always make even my worst days brighter.

  "Hi, Daddy." His voice was soft and he didn't look up at me when he spoke. He kicked his legs a little and sighed a sound that always broke my heart. She'd already been yelling at him.

  "What's wrong, little man?" I asked, moving over to kneel in front of him.

  "Mommy's mad at me," he said on an exhale, lifting his eyes just enough for me to see that he was holding back tears. He was stronger than I gave him credit for. He'd been through so much in his four years and had always been able to bounce back. A part of me wondered how much more he could take before his resilience wore out. He shouldn't have to take any of it.

  "Well, Mommy's gone to work and you're going to come stay with me for a few days," I said as I reached out to fix his hair which was sticking up on one side where it hadn't been brushed today.

  "I can't go," he replied, looking down again as he sniffled softly.

  "Why not?"

  He pointed at his feet. He had his shoes on but he the laces were untied. "I asked Mommy to tie my shoes and she said I was too old cuddle anymore." His tiny voice shook as he spoke and I had to bite back my anger at Lizzie. I hated it when she got in these moods when we were together but it's been even worse for Conner since we've been apart.

  "I think you mean coddle, buddy," I said, reaching down to tie his shoes. I remembered the fight Lizzie and I had the first time she sent him to my house in those shoes. I didn't understand why she insisted on buying him shoes with laces, knowing she wouldn't have the patience to teach him how to tie them. I pulled him up from the bed and ushered him toward the bathroom so I could fix his hair. My thoughts were spinning as I tried to think of ways to make his day better. I needed to put this out of his mind.

  "What do you want to do today? Since it's Friday, I think we should have an adventure! What do you think?" I asked and I saw the spark, that beginning of a smile, starting in his eyes. I grabbed him and tossed him over my shoulder, hanging on to his legs as I carried him down the hall. The sound of his giggle was music to my ears.

  "I know! We should go watch for Transformers!" he said excitedly as I grabbed his backpack from the entryway and locked the door on my way out.

  I waited until we were at my car before I set him down, pretending I was going to drop him to make him squeal with laughter. I made a show of looking up at the sky for a long time before I opened his car door. Ever since he watched the first Transformers movie with Tish last year, this was something we did at least once a month. Tish told him that if he watched at the right time, from the right place, he might be able to see them coming to Earth. Conner was now convinced that every shooting star he saw was a Transformer.

  "It does feel like tonight will be a good night to look for them," I said as I helped him buckle into his car seat. I tossed his backpack beside him and walked to my door, looking up at the sky again before I slid behind the wheel. "How about a movie to kill some time first?"

  "Yeah!" His enthusiastic response is exactly what I hoped for, more proof of his incredible resilience.

  "Jackson!" I blink, this voice is close and I try to make my eyes stay open. "Jackson, I need you!"

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Tattoo Shop

  LILI

  There was nothing quite as peaceful as the sound of a tattoo gun and the murmur of voices in a crowded room. The place was packed, even more than normal for a Friday afternoon. I curled my toes in an attempt to keep from clenching the muscles in my legs, letting out a slow breath as the loud buzz cut off and the feel of the paper towel scraping across my aching skin took over.

  I opened my eyes, tensing slightly as Kas ran her pinky along an area on my hip to spread the petroleum jelly.

  "Need a break?" she asked, a smirk on her face as she held the needle poised over my skin.

  "Do you know me at all?" I replied and she shook her head. The sound of her gun covered her laugh and I clenched my jaw in anticipation of the pain. As I forced my body to relax, I noticed the guy in the next station over watching me. He was obviously getting a massive back piece done because he’d been here almost as long as I had, but he didn't seem distressed at all.

  His long legs were stretched in front of him while his arms draped over the back of the chair, giving Tish the angle he needed as he worked near his left shoulder. The definition of his biceps as his muscles tightened and relaxed again was clearly visible. I mentally applauded the effort it must have taken to keep that pain from his expression.

  I fought the urge to jerk in response to Kas' needle finding the sensitive skin just inside my hip bone and squeezed my eyes shut. "Fucking a…" I said through clenched teeth, holding my breath and counting to twenty in my head before letting it out and opening my eyes again.

  The guy in the next booth grinned at my expression and I let my eyes roam to make a quick assessment of what I could see of him from my vantage point. He was tall and, from the definition of his muscles, I could tell he worked out. Something about the way he draped his body over the chair and tried to hide his pain made me think of Zane.

  I was with Zane when he got the piece that covered his right shoulder. In true Zane fashion, he acted macho, completely impervious to the pain. I was looking at the design books near the front door when I noticed Tish made him wince. I couldn’t pass up the chance to mock Zane.

  I stuck my bottom lip out playfully and asked, “What? The big, strong man can’t handle a little tattoo?”

  “Little my ass,” Zane ground out between his teeth. “I’ll tell you what, Pix, you get more than a couple lines of script and we’ll talk.”

  “It’s okay to be a pansy. It’s just Tish and I here. He’s probably known you’re a wuss since you were born. And, me? Well, I figured out you were a pussy the night I kicked your ass in the alley.”

  “You kicked his ass?” Tish slid his stool back and raised an eyebrow at me.

  “No!” Zane yelled to Tish, pinning me with a glare. “She fucking caught me off guard when she kicked me. I wasn’t about to fight a little girl.”

  “At least I can get a little tattoo without crying like a bitch,” I said the words innocently and hopped up on the counter, grinning widely.

  “Two words fro
m that sentence, Pix. That’s all I heard. Little. Bitch,” he said and the dimple that appeared in his right cheek was the only thing that kept me from getting angry at his words. That dimple was a fucking weapon and he knew just how to wield it.

  “Assclown.” I glared and turned my attention back to the design books. “I’m pretty sure I heard the girls you were with the other night using those same two words when they came back in the bar.”

  He hissed again as Tish hit a tender spot and I laughed. He threw his shoe across the room at me. When Tish stopped working for a moment, I took my shot and threw it back at him. But, I missed horribly. Just as we all burst into laughter, Kas walked into the shop.

  As soon as I noticed her, I cleared my throat and slid off the counter, moving to sit back down in the chair I'd dragged to Tish's station to watch him work. Kas had just started working there and I was nervous around her. I didn't really understand why. Later, I realized it was probably because Tish was nervous around her. He liked her and I was somehow picking up on that.

  Kas walked to her station and started putting away some of the supplies she brought and hanging a few new pictures on the wall. When Tish finished the piece on Zane and was about to start cleaning him up, the shoe I had thrown flew over and hit Zane square in the back. The three of us looked over at Kas who had an innocent expression as she hummed to herself. She glanced sideways at us and we all started laughing.

  After Tish had covered the tattoo, Zane pulled his shoe on and we wandered outside. I think it was Zane's way of trying to give Tish some privacy. I poked at his tattoo to mess with him and he kept swatting my hand away, laughing.

  We sat on the bench outside the front door and waited for Tish for over an hour; me trying to get Zane to admit the tattoo hurt, him denying my claim. I had just gotten the quote tattoo along my forearms a few months prior so I remembered how painful it was.

  I tried to be sneaky as I reached out to slap his shoulder, but he caught my hand and pinned both my arms behind my back, moving us so I was on his lap and he had control of my arms.

  “Give it up, Pix. I’ll always be faster,” he laughed as I struggled against his grip.

  “Yeah, that’s what those girls told me,” I tried to sound angry but he dug his fingers into my side and I burst out laughing. “Don’t! Stop!”

  “Don’t stop. That’s what those girls were screaming in the hotel room later.”

  “Gross, Zane!”

  “It was actually pretty hot.” I tensed as his voice came out seductively, his breath grazing my ear when he whispered. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, turning my head slowly to face him. “Two girls at once. That was a first for me. I might have to do that more often.”

  “Perv,” I said, ignoring the hollow feeling his words caused as I tugged against his hold again. He laughed, pulling me tighter against his chest. The fact that I couldn’t breathe had nothing to do with the pressure of his grip.

  “Better be careful, Pix. All this squirming around on my lap while we talk about this might make someone else decide he wants to come out to play.”

  I groaned and leaned away from him, trying to clear my now foggy thoughts. “I so don’t want to talk about your junk right now.”

  “He might enjoy the conversation.”

  That's how we were sitting, laughing as I struggled in his grip, when Tish and Kas came out the door.

  "You two make such a cute couple," Kas said and we froze, both of us looking over at her in confusion.

  “They’re just friends,” Tish laughed and shook his head. “Although, I think the only reason they get along is because they both treat sex like a game. It would probably be perfect if they could dismiss one another after the actual act.”

  Zane cleared his throat and helped me off his lap. It was an uncomfortable ride home after that.

  I knew I had been smiling at the memory because I felt it fade at the end. That was the first time Zane pulled away from me. It had taken weeks after that to get him to go out or do anything if I was involved. He skipped eating meals with Tish and I and it almost felt as hard as when he had first moved in. There wasn't hostility but his obvious avoidance of me hurt. I talked to Tish about it a few times and he tried to tell me that Zane would let me in again when he was ready. I didn’t believe him at the time.

  I cared about Zane so much more than I realized before that moment and it was crushing to go back to feeling like an outsider in the house. I didn't want to go through that again. I needed Zane in my life and I knew that my feelings for him were what caused him to cut me out before. It wouldn't happen again.

  I noticed Kas watching me and I blinked to clear my eyes, smoothing my expression. I looked back at the guy Tish was working on with a grin. I needed to focus. If anyone could see through me, it was Kas. The guy was watching me with an amused smirk, no doubt assuming the pathetic tears I'd almost shed were from the pain. I decided to focus on him.

  His dark hair was cropped short, buzzed close to his head, and something in the discipline he showed made me think he might be military. I always enjoyed the military boys because they were looking for the same thing I was: a quick distraction with no strings attached.

  I pulled my lower lip between my teeth and gave him a small smile, wincing before Kas paused to wipe again. Soldier Boy raised an eyebrow and stretched his neck slightly to examine the piece Kas was finishing. His eyes widened as he took in the amount of exposed flesh on my body and the four large, brightly colored tiger lilies spanning my right side from high on my ribs to my hip. This was my third and final sitting for this piece and Kas was adding the color to the bottom flower.

  I took another deep breath as Kas paused to wipe away the excess ink and blood again, letting my eyes fall closed for a moment. I clenched my hands, my nails almost breaking the skin as I tried to stop shaking.

  "Almost done, baby girl. Just one more little section," she encouraged and I knew this would be the worst part.

  I opened my eyes and watched Soldier Boy stand, stretching as he looked in the mirror to examine Tish's work. I could see the side of a wing from my angle and I assumed it was probably an eagle across his shoulders. I listened to their conversation to distract myself, practically able to recite Tish's spiel about after care by memory.

  As Tish moved to clean his station, Solider Boy headed toward the door but paused by the short wall in front of Kas' station to watch my tattoo being finished.

  He wasn't alone. My piece had drawn quite a crowd for Kas. Since I was a regular in the shop, everyone was waiting to see the final product. At least that's what they were trying to convince Cecile, the shop manager, they were staring at. I was almost positive it had more to do with the sheer amount of skin I was showing, but who was I to contradict the public?

  Plus, why get a tattoo if you aren't planning to show it off?

  I grinned as Kas' machine cut off and she raised both fists in the air, the way she always did to celebrate finishing a piece she was proud of. There were several cheers and I stood slowly, letting Kas steady me. I looked in the mirror, excited to see the design was even better than I'd hoped for.

  I kept the sheet tucked carefully around my waist, letting it dip low on my right hip where Kas had been working while she covered the tattoo and wrapped plastic wrap around my hips and up my side. The cheers from before turned into whoops as I stood in just the sheet with my shirt tucked under my bra. I laughed and grabbed Kas by the elbow as she went to set the roll of plastic wrap on the tray. She raised an eyebrow at me, realizing my intention too late.

  "Don't even thi—" I cut her off by pressing my lips against hers. It was brief and I flicked my tongue ring against her lips when it was over. Right after, I was hit with a roll of paper towels.

  "How many times do I have to tell you to stop kissing my girl, Lee?" Tish shook his head and went back to cleaning up his station.

  "I was just saying thank you." I winked at Kas and wiped away a smudge of her bright red lipstick from under
my lip. She laughed and I snatched up my clothes from the chair, heading toward the bathroom to dress.

  I paused as I passed Soldier Boy, who was staring wide-eyed after me. I glanced over my shoulder and met his gaze for a moment before I turned back and held the sheet and my skirt in my one hand while extending the other.

  "Lili," I said by way of introduction. His eyes flashed down to my hand and then worked slowly up my body before he moved, closing his fingers around mine.

  "Patrick," He replied, grinning. "Nice to meet you."

  "Likewise. I need to get dressed but I'd love to have a chat. Hang out for a minute." I winked and, without waiting for a response, continued to the bathroom to get ready for work.

  When I came out of the bathroom, I wasn't surprised to see Patrick waiting by the front door. He was leaning against the wall and I took a moment to appreciate his long, lean frame from a distance before he noticed me.

  "You waited." I smirked as I walked to the front of the shop.

  "I didn't know I had a choice," Patrick said with a grin. The grin looked dark and spoke of dangerous things. I loved it.

  "We always have a choice," I responded, tossing a wave over my shoulder as I led Patrick out into the early summer heat. I immediately regretted leaving my hair down but I didn't want to stop to dig for a hair tie so there wasn't much to be done about it.

  "So, you're a native?" Patrick asked. I turned my head, realizing just how tall he really was as he walked beside me down the sidewalk.

  I had to shield my eyes from the sun behind him and I saw the rim of his baseball cap. With a quick jump, I snatched the hat from his head. He started to protest but I turned away, purposely bending over in front of him as I tucked the hat between my knees and wound my hair up, holding it in place as I pulled the hat over it. He was still blinking, his gaze sliding from my bare legs to my face several times as I winked.