Midnight Secrets

by Janelle Taylor

  Ginny waited two days for Stone to get over his shock and’ return so she could speak with him before talking to his father. She couldn’t stop thinking about the letter Captain Cooper hadn’t given to her. Did it mean Stone loved her and wanted her, or was that interpretation wishful dreaming on her part? Was he only going to “return for you” to guide her back to Georgia to Miss Avery? Was his “serious talk” only going to tell her what he had said the other night: not to pine over him, that his seduction of her was only the result of a physical need and weakness?

  By Saturday night, June first, he hadn’t returned, and she realized he might not come back any time soon. He had told her his next job could take weeks or months; she couldn’t wait that long to get on with her personal task in Colorado. With the truth in his possession and her gone, Ben could tell Stone, if he contacted his father, that he had no reason to stay away from the ranch.

  Stalling the inevitable only made it worse for everyone, especially for her. She needed her father, and Stone might be lost to her. If that was not the case, he’d know this time where to locate her at least, as she’d written him an enlightening letter. Perhaps it would be best if Ben told him the truth and if she wasn’t present for his reaction.

  Ginny walked downstairs and into the parlor where Ben was reading. “Mr. Chapman, I have to speak with you about a grave matter.”

  Ben lowered his newspaper and stared at her in confusion. “Why did you call me Mr. Chapman, Johanna? Is something wrong?”

  “Yes, sir. Plenty. I don’t know how or where to begin.” She saw the man tense and grimace in dread of what might come from her lips. From the corner of her eye, she noticed Nan halt in the doorway.

  “Is it about you and Stone? Did something happen between you two on the trail? You both acted so strangely. Is that why he left so suddenly?”

  Ginny’s heart pounded in matching dread. She didn’t ask Nan to leave, as Stone’s mother had a right to hear the truth. “Yes… and no, sir. I honestly don’t know why Stone left as he did. I don’t know what he thinks and feels about me, but I love him and I’d hoped he loved me,” she revealed.

  Ben paled. The paper shook then fell to the floor. “What?”

  “As Anna Avery, I fell in love with Steve Carr.”

  “But you can’t love him; he’s your brother.”

  “No, sir, he isn’t. I love him and want to marry him. I’m not—”

  “That’s impossible!” Ben shouted in dismay. He glanced at Nan, who stood motionless at the doorway, her face pale and body shaky.

  “Only if Stone doesn’t love me and want me,” Ginny replied. “The other night he coldly spurned me. But I don’t believe he doesn’t love me, even if he honestly thinks he doesn’t. I think, I hope, he left for a while to prevent me from causing a scene by pressing the matter. Only if I reveal the truth to everyone can we resolve this.”

  “He could never marry you. He’s your brother, Johanna, by blood. He’s my real son, not adopted, mine and Nandile’s. Oh, my God, that’s why he tore out of here like a blue norther! He loves you, too.”

  Ginny kept herself from blurting out the shocking truth too soon. “I hoped he was falling in love with me. He denied it and rejected me before leaving. I’m praying he deceived me about his feelings.”

  “Did you hear me, Johanna? You’re his half sister. This can’t be. The Lord is punishing me for my past sins. He’s let my children fall in love. God forgive me for keeping such painful secrets. What shall we do?” he murmured, looking at his secret love who stared at them both in disbelief and anguish.

  “I’m leaving, sir, tomorrow or Monday, whichever you say.”

  “You can’t. We’ll work this out. I love you and need you.”

  Ginny made her tone and gaze as gentle as she could. “No, sir, you love and need Johanna. I’m not Johanna. I’m not your daughter, Mr. Chapman. I’m Virginia Anne Marston. Johanna and I were best friends at school. She asked me to come here and pretend to be her.”

  “Is this an act of revenge?” He questioned in angry despair.

  “Not at all, she didn’t hate you. She wanted to come home. She couldn’t, so she sent me. Everything I’ve told you about her and Stella is true.”

  “This was a test, eh? I’ll write her to come home immediately.”

  “You can’t, sir. Johanna is… She’s… She died on March thirteenth in Savannah, shortly after we arrived from England.”

  Ben leapt from his chair, the newspaper crackling beneath his boots as he crossed to her. He grasped her forearms and fused his gaze to hers, “Why are you doing this, Johanna?” he fumed. “So you can have Stone? You can’t pretend you are another girl so you can live in sin.”

  Ginny wanted to escape his firm grasp and pleading gaze but she couldn’t even try to do so. “I am Ginny Marston, sir, I swear it. Let me tell you all I know, then we can discuss it.” She guided him to the couch, helped them both to sit down before her wobbly legs gave way, and faced the astonished man. She related her story as slowly, carefully, and compassionately as she could. “That’s the truth, Mr. Chapman,” she said in conclusion. “I loved her as a sister and did as she asked. I couldn’t let you go on believing I was Johanna.” She stood and looked down at him. “I’ll leave immediately. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I can’t remain here any longer as your daughter. I must go search for my father, and I pray he’s still alive.”

  “You lying, scheming witch,” Ben cried out in pain. “How could you be so cruel? My Johanna would never do this to her father. You thought you’d come here and trick money out of me after her death. You’re only confessing now because you know Stone will unmask you and kill you.”

  “No, Ben,” Nan said from the doorway. She walked hurriedly to them. “Ginny has given you a part of your Johanna you could never have had if she hadn’t come here. Can’t you see how alike they are? I believe her. You owe her kindness and understanding for honoring Johanna’s last wish; it must have been hard for her. You owe them to her for being honest. If she wanted anything from you, she would continue her ruse.”

  In torment, Ben accused, “She thinks she can get her hands on my ranch through my son, have him and everything else she wants.”

  “That isn’t true, sir. I don’t want your ranch or your money; I didn’t want to do this for Johanna. I do want Stone, because I love him and I’ve been good for him. Hate me if you must; maybe that will help you accept Johanna’s loss easier. Stella lied to her all those years, but she still loved you and wanted to come home. You would have been so proud of her. She was the most wonderful person I’ve ever known.” Tears welled in Ginny’s hazel eyes and rolled down her flushed cheeks. “I miss her so much. We couldn’t have survived those years alone at school if we hadn’t had each other. She…” Ginny couldn’t control the tears and anguish that flooded her heart.

  Nan embraced her and cried with her because she believed her. Now she grasped Stone’s suddenly black mood and his rush from the house: her son loved and wanted this woman. Ginny had changed and softened his heart. Their Life Circles had crossed many times because they were destined to overlap and become one. To deny and resist the truth would bring great suffering and defeat to all involved. The Great Spirit was at work in Stone Thrower’s life; His hand was guiding her son toward his rightful path and fate: to Ginny and to peace with Ben. She must convince all of them this was meant to be.

  When a small measure of control returned, Ginny said, “She would have loved it here and been so happy. When I saw her room and all those gifts you’d bought for her that she never received, it almost broke my heart. You don’t know how happy it would have made Johanna to have gotten only one of them, only one letter, one word, one visit. It was wrong and cruel of Stella to hurt her just to spite you. I met Stella many times, so I believe all you said about her. I never told Johanna I didn’t like or trust her mother because I didn’t want to hurt her. I wish she could have lived to be here with you. It would have meant so much to her.

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nbsp; “I don’t agree with what you did in the past, sir, but I understand it. Marry Nan and be happy,” Ginny felt she had to give her opinion. “Don’t care about what others might say; life is too short to deny yourselves one minute of joy together. Acknowledge Stone; he needs that so much, sir.” Her eyes teared again as she said, “Somehow I think Johanna can see us and knows you didn’t abandon her…I’ll leave now. I’m sorry, sir, truly I am. It seems I’ve made too many mistakes lately trying to help myself and others. I’ll leave a letter for Stone on the bed; please give it to him. He deserves to learn the truth from me.”

  Nan told the man she loved what she had been thinking earlier. “It is fate, Ben. Do not make it harder on our son to accept the truth.”

  Ben surmised that this young woman was what had changed his son and was the reason Stone had returned to make peace and why he had mentioned children and grandchildren. His beloved daughter was lost forever, but he still had his son. He had come to like Ginny, and her motive for fooling him had come from the heart. Nan was right; Ginny had given him his daughter for a while. And, if Stone loved her and married her, he could lose him by rejecting her. He mustn’t allow anguish and resentment to color his judgment. He halted her exit. “Stop! Don’t go, Ginny. Please tell me more about her,” he added in a strained voice.

  Ginny turned and looked at the anguished man. “I’ll tell you all I learned.” She took a seat again and related the story of how they’d met, become best friends, how they’d lived in England, and returned to America. She revealed how Johanna was buried under Ginny’s name and where. She asked Ben to bring his daughter’s body home for reinterment..”Ask me anything you wish, sir, and I’ll try to answer.”

  “Why didn’t you confess this when Stone arrived?”

  That wasn’t the question she had expected. She blushed. “It’s very complicated, sir. I’ve told you about our adventures together as Anna and Steve. I fell in love with him, but he had such bitterness and pain locked up inside and refused to allow anyone to get close to him.” Ginny related some personal details about her feelings, but left out their physical relationship, which they probably suspected by now anyhow. Surely they of all people realized love and passion were irresistible and powerful.

  “When he came home, I assumed he had lied to me about his troubled past. I believed he had deserted me in Fort Smith. You see, he left a letter for me with a friend, but I never received it. After he impulsively gave it to me the other night, I read his words to mean he did have deep feelings for me. But he treated me so distantly, spurning me completely. And then he left. I’m ashamed to say I eavesdropped on you and Nan after dinner that night. I realized Stone thought he… was falling in love with his sister, at least I hope that’s why he rejected me and was troubled enough to leave. You see, Stella never told Johanna that secret, and it wasn’t in any of the letters from you that we found. I was trying to give you as much time with ‘Johanna’ as possible, but I realized I had to end this ruse to keep from hurting everyone more. I came to like and respect you so much that I even wished at one time I never had to tell you. I had trapped myself and didn’t know how to get free. In hindsight, the entire deception was foolish and cruel. So much happened so fast that I didn’t think clearly or act wisely, but that’s no excuse for what I did to you. I should have come here, told you the truth, then left. I’ll admit, knowing my father might be dead and being so happy here, it was tempting to stay where. I was loved and safe, but I want my father. I love him and miss him. I’m so afraid for him.”

  As tears brightened her hazel eyes, Ginny admitted, “Maybe I stalled so long and carried out this ruse because I’m afraid to go to Colorado and discover he’s dead.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help, Ginny?”

  “You’ve been too kind and generous already, Mr. Chapman. I don’t deserve that after how I’ve duped you.”

  “You brought me the truth and a period of sunshine. If you hadn’t been with Johanna all those years, she would have been miserable, and she would have died alone and frightened in Savannah. And I would have died never knowing she loved me and tried to get back to me. I owe you something for that.”.

  “There is one thing you can do, sir: you can loan me stage fare to Colorado City. I’ll return it by mail after I find my father. If he’s…. gone, I’ll take a job there and repay you.”

  “Of course I’ll do that. But why don’t you wait until Stone returns? He can guide you there and protect you along the way.”

  “I think Stone will need time to adjust to the truth after you tell him. I feel it would be a mistake to wait for him. Stone’s a proud and troubled man. I’ve fooled him many times before, so another time might be more than he can accept and forgive. In the heat of his anger, he could say and do irreparable damage to any future relationship we might have. Besides, I’m only hoping and praying he feels the same way I do. He’s never told me he loves me and wants me. In fact, he’s always tried to convince me of the opposite.”

  Ginny decided to be bold and brave to help Ben understand and reach out to his son. “He tried to tell me he was a nothing. For such a strong and confident man in most areas, Stone has a low opinion of himself. He can’t stand the thought of defeat or weakness, yet he’s vulnerable in ways he doesn’t admit. He doesn’t believe he has anything to offer another person and he doesn’t want to risk being hurt by getting close to anyone. He keeps a tight rein on his emotions, but I’ve seen the good and gentle side of him. He tries to protect himself by being cool and reserved. But I’ve seen him smile, laugh, show kindness and compassion, and risk his life for others; I think he shocked himself when he recognized feelings in himself he didn’t know he possessed. I think he’s softened and changed since we met; I hope because of me. He’s a very special man with a lot of love inside him.”

  Ginny knew she might be going too far but she had to help her love. “For Stone to accept himself and to discard the burdens of the past, you have to accept him, Mr. Chapman. He has to know you love him and will do anything for him. Now that I know the truth about him, it helps me understand him better. He loves you and needs you. I believe that only you can save your son. Even though you adopted him, he still feels rejected by you. As for me and Stone, if I’ve seen him for the last time, I want to remember him the way I knew him as Steve Carr. I don’t want him to feel he has to hurt me to prove he doesn’t want me. Until he loves and accepts himself, he can’t love and accept me. Does that make sense?”

  Nan smiled. “Yes, Ginny, it does. You know my son well, and I think you’re right about leaving. It would be best for Stone to have time to think this out before he sees you. People in pain often strike out at those they love, it is only they who have the power to truly hurt you. We’ll speak to him when he returns, and I’m sure he’ll come after you.”

  Ginny’s heart fluttered. “You do?”

  Nan smiled again. “I will be surprised and disappointed if he doesn’t.”

  “So will I,” Ben added, his heart too heavy to allow him to smile at that moment. “When do you plan to leave? And how much money do you need for your ticket and expenses?”

  “Monday morning, sir, but the money you gave me is plenty.”

  “I’ll give you another fifty dollars for any unexpected problems. Send for more if you need it. And if you don’t locate your father, you’re welcome to return here.”

  Ginny was surprised and touched at his kindness. “Thank you, Mr. Chapman, Nan. You’ve both been wonderful to me. I’ll pack tomorrow and go into town by dusk. The stage leaves early in the morning.”

  “Buck will drive you, if you’re certain you won’t stay longer.”

  “I can’t, sir. One last thing: I didn’t want you to think I was using this to soften and sway your opinion of me, so I waited to give it to you.” Ginny withdrew a letter from her pocket. “This is from Johanna to you, explaining what she asked me to do and why. She wrote it in case I needed help to get out of trouble with you and perhaps the authorities.
Please remember she didn’t know the truth when she wrote it. All she had to base her feelings on were Stella’s lies and those hazy letters from you that contradicted Stella’s false claims.”

  Ben took the letter, almost dreading to read it. “Thank you, Ginny.”

  “Good night, sir. Good night, Nan. Thank you both again.”

  Monday morning, June third, Ginny climbed aboard a coach in Dallas to head for Gainesville to connect with the Oxbow Route to retrace her recent journey from Fort Smith. From there she would travel on to Tipton, Missouri, and across Kansas to Colorado City. It would require fourteen days to complete her journey.

  She was dressed in a dark-green traveling skirt and jacket with a cream-colored blouse. Her long hair was pinned atop her head and partly covered by a fashionable ivy hat. Her money was pinned inside her chemise as Nan advised to protect it from stage robbers. She was taking only part of her possessions; the rest she left at the ranch, along with her doll. When Ben sent for his daughter’s body, he would recover the rest of her things, along with Johanna’s, from Martha Avery.

  She had spent a restless night in the hotel after bidding Ben and Nan farewell yesterday afternoon. Ginny was glad the letter from Johanna had been a kind and loving one that would help Ben accept her ruse. The couple, despite their grief, seemed happy about the future before them.

  Ginny had hoped Stone would appear before her departure, but he hadn’t. When he returned home, he would be given the explanatory letter she had left with his mother. She prayed he would be understanding and forgiving, and that he loved her.

  She caught herself from lurching forward against another passenger as the driver popped his whip and set them into rapid and jostling motion. She was on the way to her next and final deception, again using the name Anna Avery while she searched for her father—or his killer.