Crossroads of the Heart

by Savannah Maris

  I drive to a quaint café where I can have a quiet lunch without being disturbed. This is not how I imagined we’d be when I got home. Maybe I should have just stretched out the photoshoot, but no, I put in extra-long days for us to finish a few days early, and for what? To spend time alone? Maybe I should have checked with Carol before I tried to surprise him. How sad is it that I don’t have a clue about my own husband’s schedule? Has our marriage really come to checking with his secretary?

  Once I finish lunch and leave the café, I take my convertible Mercedes to get washed. Even though it hasn’t left the garage in three weeks, I feel it’s something I should do. Noah had made arrangements years ago with a family-owned car wash to take care of my vehicle whenever I need. I drive into the parking lot, and a young man, not too much younger than me approaches the car.

  “May I help you?”

  I smile. “I’m here to have my car washed. I’m Tam—"

  The young man returns my smile. “I know who you are, Mrs. Carmichael. Do you want the usual?” He looks around as he opens my door. “Are you calling someone to pick you up? It’ll take an hour or so to hand wash the car.”

  “That’s fine. I don’t mind waiting.” I tilt my head and narrow my eyes, giving him a questioning look. “Aren’t you Diego, Miquel and Sarah’s oldest son?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m home from school for the summer, so I’m helping out around here.”

  “Please don’t call me ma’am. I’m not that much older than you.” I giggle and a flush of color runs over the boy’s face.

  With sunglasses in place and a baseball cap on my head, I hope I won’t be recognized as I walk into the waiting room. Luckily for me, there’s only a lady about the age of my grandmother waiting in the room. It touches my heart to see her in there. I can’t imagine my own grandmother doing this, and I wonder if that’s how I’ll be one day if Noah isn’t around.

  Without another thought, I walk to the office where Miquel, the owner, is working.

  “Miquel, excuse me.”

  “Mrs. Carmichael, how good to see you?”

  “Thank you, Miquel. You too. How’s Sarah?”

  “She’s well.”

  “Please tell her I asked about her.”

  “I will. Is there something I can help you with?”

  I tilt my head. “Do you know the elderly lady sitting in the waiting room?”

  “Yes, Mrs. White. She’s the widow of a long-time customer. Why, is she okay?”

  “I’d like to pay for her carwash, please.”

  “Let me see if I can find Diego to get her ticket.” Miquel rises from his desk to search for his son.

  While I wait for Miquel to return, I look at the pictures on the wall. They’re a time line showing the early days of the car wash when it was just Miquel and Sarah, and then showing the car wash growing as well as their family. I smile and wonder if Noah and I will ever have children. Maybe at thirty, I’m getting too old to think about it. This is another reason I want to schedule some time off. I need to talk to Noah. I almost laugh at myself. How can we conceive a child when we’re rarely in the same room together? I just don’t think that can be done long distance.

  “Mrs. Carmichael, here’s her ticket.”

  “Thank you, Miquel.” I hand him a few bills. “This should cover it and a nice tip. Please leave what she gave you on the front seat of her car. I don’t care what reason you give her for doing it, but please don’t let her know it was me.” I give him a big smile and swear I see tears in the man’s eyes before I leave the room. It saddens me to think this is a shock for him. Can someone not do something nice for another anymore?

  I walk back to the waiting room and make myself comfortable while I scroll through emails. There’s one from Harold, and one from the photographer I’d just worked with. Harold wants me to go on location next week if I’m not serious about time off, and the photographer sent me some preliminary proofs of the pictures we just took. The pictures make me smile. They’re wonderful, but I’ll have to think about Harold’s request. How tonight goes with Noah will determine if I take the assignment.

  Before I know it, Diego comes to get me. “Mrs. Carmichael, your car is ready.”

  “Thank you, Diego.” I give him a generous tip as we walk to my car.

  “Dad told me what you did for Mrs. White. Just so you know, she cried.”

  My hand covers my heart, and my happy smile turns a slightly sad because I can’t imagine how this lady feels. “It was a simple act of kindness, but I hope it made her day.”

  Diego closes my car door once I’m behind the wheel. A half-hour later, I pull into The Food Fresh Market. With my list in hand of everything I’ll need for dinner, I quickly check off the ingredients for the entree.

  Don’t need flowers because Noah has already provided them.

  We have plenty of wine.

  All that’s left is dessert.

  I wander into the bakery and find a fruit tart. While I stand in the checkout line, I pick up one of the latest magazines with my picture on the front cover. It’s not my picture that makes me pick it up because I still can’t believe this is my job. After the events of the last night, “Five Clues to Know Your Man is Cheating” is the first thing that catches my eye. With my biological clock ticking, “Is 30 Too Late To Start A Family” has me curious as well. I look around because I don’t want people to think I’m vain and drop the magazine in my basket that sits on the conveyor belt.

  A few minutes later, the groceries are in the trunk and I’m cranking my car when my phone pings with a text from Noah:

  It may be close to 7 before I make it home.

  A heavy sigh escapes before I return the text:

  I can live with 7.

  With extra time to prepare for dinner, I get all the prep work done before I take a relaxing bubble bath with soothing music flowing through the house. I want tonight to be perfect. I’m ready to give up the jet-setting and want to start a family. I hope Noah feels the same.

  Dinner is ready, and I’m dressed in a thin silk dress that leaves very little to the imagination. Knowing my puckered nipples will drive him crazy, I giggle and wonder if we’ll make it to dessert. With the table set, I pour a glass of wine expecting Noah to walk through the door at any minute. At five after seven, I light the candles. At ten after seven, I send him a text:

  ETA?

  At seven fifteen, I blow out the candles and settle in to read the magazine with my glass of wine in hand. I take a fortifying sip as I turn to the article that initially caught my attention.

  Clue one: Your man comes home smelling like another woman.

  I roll my lips inward because I only have to think back to last night when I smelled another woman’s perfume on Noah as he got into bed. I’d thought it was from the client he’d had dinner with, but maybe they did more than have dinner? Maybe she wasn’t a client at all? My face flushes, and I take another sip of wine and read more.

  Clue two: You find lipstick stains on his collar.

  My hand flies to my mouth and my eyes widen because I have to think back a little further to unpacking his suitcase about a year ago. There was lipstick on the collar of his white dress shirt. He claimed it was from a woman who the man he was there to meet hired to give him a lap dance. I never understood why he was conducting business in a strip club. Had I been blind? I blink away the tears and continue reading.

  Clue three: Your man sends you gifts with an apology.

  I have an entire drawer full of expensive jewelry with an apology attached to them. Sorry for last night. Sorry I missed your show. Sorry I couldn’t meet you. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Am I losing my mind? Could he be having an affair?

  Clue four: Your man doesn’t come home on time.

  If this isn’t the nail in the coffin, I don’t know what is. It’s eight and still no word from Noah. As tears fill my eyes again and my stomach tightens, I know he’s with another woman.

  Clue five: Your man decides to stay away at ni
ght.

  At least he hasn’t done this. Then again, we have very few nights a month in the same location. He has plenty of free time to be in someone else’s bed, or worse, have someone in his…ours.

  With that realization, I’m sick to my stomach. Oh God, it’s been right in front of me since I walked through the door yesterday. I run into the bedroom and rip the sheets off the bed. Did he have someone in here before I came home? Was that why he was getting out of the shower? What if I had come home earlier? A comment the lighting guy made on the shoot comes rushing back to me. My wife isn’t here, and what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” Does Noah think this won’t hurt me?

  My hands are shaking as I cover my mouth and rush to the bathroom. He doesn’t want to be with me anymore because he’s met someone new.

  4

  Noah

  Fuck!

  Why the hell did I agree to take this meeting? I should have known it wouldn’t be short. They never are. I’ve spent the last several hours with Jason researching the charity he was asked to attach his name to. I look at my watch, and it’s after nine when he invites me to dinner, and I feel obligated to go. I should call Tamryn, but I know she’ll be pissed, and I don’t need that argument tonight. God, this was the worst week for her to be here. By the time we finish dinner, it’s after ten, and I’ve already let Donald go. We’re in downtown Atlanta in the area known as Buckhead where my office is. By the time I hail a cab, traffic, and the late hour, it would be close to eleven by the time I’d make it home to Dunwoody on the outskirts of town. I’m bone tired so I just check into a hotel.

  When I walk into a suite, I send her a text because hearing the disappointment in her voice would kill me.

  Staying downtown. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.

  As I step into the shower, I think about how much I want to hold my wife. How much I want to make love to her. God, when did our careers become the center of our lives? We’ve lost sight of each other somewhere along the way, and I have no idea how to get us back to where we once were. Too many people bidding for our time, and the top bidder always wins…and it’s never us. My balls ache from needing relief that I haven’t had for weeks. Since Tamryn isn’t here, I rub one out with visions of her splayed across our bed and her blonde hair fanning out around her head. Her perfect body welcoming me into it. Stroking faster, I imagine myself pumping into her. With a grunt, I expend my cum and watch it go down the drain. Cool water runs over me before I turn it off.

  Stepping into my room with a towel wrapped around my waist, I send Carol a text. She’ll need to get Tamryn something exceptionally beautiful for this major fuck up. I don’t even know if there’s anything to make up for this. Maybe the Crown Jewels, but I don’t think the House of Windsor will part with them.

  I try to sleep, but it’s nothing more than a fitful rest. I don’t think I actually slept at all. As my wake-up call rings, I roll over to answer the phone with a gruff, “Thank you.” I wash my face and slip on my suit minus the jacket and tie. For the first time in a long time, I’m thankful for the change of clothes in my office. Sending a text to Donald, I walk out of the hotel doors where I hail a cab.

  Before I’m halfway to work, my phone pings with a picture and text from

  Carol: Picking this up on my way in. Is this what you have in mind?

  Noah: It’s perfect. I can’t wait to put it on her. Please have them deliver it this morning, thank you.

  Once I’m in my office, I call Tamryn. I know tonight is busy too and I want to warn her. It’s guys’ and girls’ night. I wonder if she’s going out with the girls. If she doesn’t want to go, I’ll cancel with the guys. After four rings, her phone goes to voicemail. Maybe she’s gone to the gym. I’ll try her again between meetings.

  Tamryn

  I’m stepping out of the shower when the front doorbell rings, so I slip on a robe and make my way in that direction. Walking past a mirror in the hallway, I notice my eyes are still puffy from crying myself to sleep last night. Nothing I can do about that now. I open the door to a courier with a package I need to sign for. Tipping the man, I close the door and open the brown box. Inside sits another teal blue box with the black ribbon. I take a deep breath because I know what it is…another guilt gift. What has Carol chosen for me this time? When I open the box, there’s a beautiful ruby and diamond necklace with a bright, two karats center diamond. I gasp at the beauty of the necklace, but also what the price tag has to be. He’d rather spend money on me than spend time with me. I shake my head and close my eyes before I search for my phone, finding it where I left it last night.

  I pick it up and find the text saying he was staying downtown and remember clue five: Your man decides to stay away at night. All five clues have come to pass. I’m fooling myself if I don’t think there’s someone else. Needing to hear his voice, I call him instead of sending the normal text.

  “Tams, baby?”

  “Good morning, Noah.” I know my voice sounds cold, but how can I muster love when I’m not receiving it?

  “I called earlier, but you didn’t answer.”

  “Must have been in the shower.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Thank you for the necklace. You shouldn’t have.”

  “Baby, it was the least I could do after you asked me to come home, and I didn’t. Jason called and needed to talk about a charity thing. You remember him, don’t you?”

  “The country music singer?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure he wouldn’t understand wanting to have dinner with your wife after being apart for weeks. I’m sure he and his wife don’t have that issue when he’s touring.” Sarcasm is dripping off my words, and I just don’t care.

  “Tams, it wasn’t like that. We just got into the details and lost track of time. He invited me to dinner, and I felt I should go, but by the time dinner was over, it was late and I’d already let Donald go for the night. I figured you’d be asleep anyway, so I stayed downtown.”

  “Well, Harold has asked me to go on a shoot next week, and I’m thinking about going since we haven’t seen each other anyway.”

  “Tams—"

  “Look, I’ve got some things to do, so I need to get going.”

  “Hey, it’s guys’ and girls’ night. Are you going out with the girls?”

  “Yeah, I’m going out.”

  I hear the sigh come through the line. “Maybe we can call it an early night so I can make love to my wife that I miss like crazy?”

  “Hmm, we’ll see.”

  “I love you, Tams. Please don’t forget that, okay?”

  “I love you too, Noah, but sometimes it’s hard for a girl to remember when she’s alone more than she’s with her husband. Have a good day.” I disconnect the call before he can say anything else. My phone rings again immediately, but I don’t answer it. I know what I need to do today.

  Tears streak down my face as I go to the hall closet and with shaking hands take out two duffle bags that we rarely use. One I stuff with clothes, the other holds all the teal blue boxes from the drawer in our dresser. I have some things to handle this morning but need the bags ready to go when I get back, so I stow them in the front closet until I return.

  I power on the laptop and check flight schedules. There’s a direct flight leaving for Montgomery, Alabama and one leaving for Columbia, South Carolina at eleven tonight. That will give me plenty of time to do what I need to do, get the information I want, and get to the airport in time to make the flight.

  5

  Noah

  Tamryn is pissed off.

  I’ve pushed the limit of her patience this week, but dammit, most of these meetings were prearranged. Well, last night’s meeting wasn’t, and her point is valid. I plan to make it up to her tonight and talk her out of taking the assignment next week. She said she’s taking time off. Maybe now is a good time to talk about starting a family. I’ll talk to her tonight when we get home.

  The day flies by, and I hope to see Tamryn b
efore we go in different directions with our friends. Her car is gone, but I walk in the house and look for her anyway. She’s not here, but I see a magazine with her face on the cover, so I pick it up. My fingers slide down the cover as if I were caressing her face. We’ll reconnect tonight, baby, and everything will be okay. I hurry to our room and change from my suit that was at the office to a pair of jeans, casual shirt, and cowboy boots. I smile to myself. This is the man Tamryn fell in love with.

  She’s not home before I leave for the bar where I’m meeting the guys, so I send her a quick text:

  I’m leaving before ten. I can’t wait to hold you.

  I jump in my Range Rover heading for Mid-Town Atlanta. When I park, I check my messages, but still no reply. It’s seven-thirty when I walk into the Watering Hole and see my friends.

  “About damn time you get here.” Toby, my best friend, holds up his beer.

  “I thought you’d be with your wife, I know I’d be with her if she were mine,” Vince says.

  “Shut the fuck up, asshole. I’m only staying for two beers, then I’m going home to be with my wife.” I wave the waitress over.

  “Hey, sugar.” She puts her arm around me, and I put mine around her.

  “Gail, how are you?”

  “I’ve missed seeing you around here. Where have you been?”

  “Working.” I glance up at her with a frown.

  “If you weren’t married, I’d kiss that frown right off your face.” She squeezes my cheeks together, and we all laugh. “You fellas sticking with singles or do you wanna a pitcher?”