Crossroads of the Heart

by Savannah Maris

  The drive to the bar and grill is short and quiet. My mind is already preparing for my meeting with Noah. Maybe I should have saved this dress for that meeting, so he can remember what he threw away.

  My attire causes a few heads to turn because I’m not dressed as I normally would be when I come to Crossroads. For the first time, I own who I am and will be damned if I’m going to hide it tonight.

  Colt and I sit at the table Dale reserves for me. “Do you want anything to drink?”

  I smile. “Just water, right now. I’m not over the tequila from last night.”

  He kisses the back of my hand. “At least it didn’t make your clothes fall off.” His smile is bright and playful. “I’ll be right back.”

  I watch Colt place our orders with Dale then walk toward the DJ. They speak for a moment then the DJ nods. Colt stop back by the bar and picks up our drinks on the way back then slides my glass to me as he keeps an amber liquid for himself. I know it’s some type of bourbon.

  “They’re short-handed in the back until someone one can get here to replace a sick employee. Becky is filling in until then, but she’ll be out later to see you.” He chuckles. “She’s going to flip when she sees you like this.” He waves his index finger up and down my body.

  “Stop that.”

  “Ladies Love Country Boys” by Trace Adkins begins to play. When Trace speaks the words, “This is for all you sophisticated ladies out there,” all the regulars yell, “Tammy!”

  My face warms as a shy smile tugs at my lips. It has never dawned on me that people know my name or even noticed me because I’ve tried so hard to blend in, this is life in a small town. Everyone knows the new person’s name. I play along with them as I smile and tap my foot while inside my heart is breaking. They have no idea how much of this song is true and how much of it is just the opposite of truth. I may have lived in a city in my early years, but I’ve eaten fried chicken more times on Sunday than I can remember. I didn’t get the law degree, but I married a lawyer. I did fall in love with a country boy and rode in the middle of his pickup truck.

  Tears sting my eyes and maybe I’m not hiding my emotions as well as I think I am because Colt lays his hand over mine on the table. “What’s wrong? They’re just having fun, and you know dressed like you are, you fit that song to a tee.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  We haven’t finished our drinks before “Somebody’s Heartbreak” by Hunter Hayes starts to play. “Come on. I requested this one.” Colt holds his hand out for me.

  I’m confused as I let him lead me to the dance floor. As we sway to the music, he speaks into my ear, “You made your point perfectly clear this morning, but just so you know, I’ll take anything you’re willing to give me.”

  I pull my head back to look into his eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “Tamryn, I know you’re warring with yourself if you’ve done the right thing. Until you decide, let me be whatever you need. If this ends with someone’s heart getting broken, then I’ll gladly take it. If this is a once in a life time shot for me to be close to you, I want it.”

  22

  Noah

  “She’s here, and dude, you need to hurry. She’s dressed to kill, and believe me, she’s succeeding.”

  Ten minutes later, I step through the door of The Crossroads Bar and Grill in jeans, a T-shirt, boots and cowboy hat. I survey the room and my mouth falls slightly open when I see what she’s wearing. She’s on the dance floor with the man I’ve seen in the pictures. I narrow my eyes as my lips slightly tilt up when the song changes to “Let Me Down Easy” by Billy Currington, and I move toward the DJ.

  “Fifty bucks if the next song is “Stand By Your Man” by Tammy Wynette.” I lay a fifty-dollar bill on the table.

  “Yes, sir.”

  Tamryn’s head is resting on her hand that’s on the man’s shoulder, but she’s looking off into the distance. She’s not mentally with him in this dance, and I know why so I walk straight to them.

  “May I cut in?”

  Tamryn’s head jerks around. There’s no mistaking the surprise in her eyes.

  The man pulls her a little closer which causes my fist to tighten as he looks at her for permission to let me take over. My stare meets the man’s when I say, “Sorry, dude, this has been our song for eight years.”

  Her eyes are on me as the tears well. She gives an imperceptible nod before the man lets her go. When he releases her, I step in close and we meld together as we’ve always done.

  “I played this song for you before I proposed.”

  She tilts her head so I can see her. Her chin quivers just as I knew it would. “You remember that?”

  “Tams, I remember everything from the moment I first laid eyes on you.”

  Her brows furrow. “Don’t call me that. You’ve lost the right.”

  “Fair enough, but I’d like the chance to earn that privilege back.”

  Her eyes narrow and forehead wrinkles. “Why?”

  My eyebrows head toward my hair line in surprise. “Because I love you more than anything, Tamryn. I vowed to love you until death do us part, and I’m keeping my vow.”

  “Your vow, that’s the only reason? Seems to me that vow wasn’t important to you last week. That your career is more important. The other women…” Her tone hardens and she finds her anger which helps to dry the tears.

  Before I have a chance to respond, the song changes. My lips tilt up when her eyes widen and body tenses. “You once told me that you’d know when you met your love because the words of this song would hold true, and that was how you knew you loved me. Do you still love me? Can you forgive me?”

  She rolls her lips inward and the tears return. “You’re fighting dirty.”

  “Damn straight.” I place a finger under her chin and direct her face toward mine so we’re looking eye to eye. “This is one fight where I’ll do whatever it takes to win. Is there some place where we can talk? I don’t think we should do this here.”

  She blinks. “I thought that appointment was set for in the morning.”

  “Tamryn, why put off to tomorrow what you can do tonight?”

  “Just talk?”

  “If that’s what you want. We can go to the inn where I’m staying. They have a nice, quiet restaurant.”

  She shakes her head. “No, but I’m renting a house down by the lake. We can go there, if you’d like. We’ll have more privacy. I just need to get my purse.”

  I agree, and place my hand on her lower back, just above the curve of her ass. My spot. As we walk toward a table where I see her red purse, I notice the man she had been dancing with sitting there, and I catch Bash out of the corner of my eye standing at the bar. The closer we get to the table, the more Tamryn fidgets. She’s nervous.

  “Noah, I’d like you to meet Colt Montgomery. Colt, this is my husband, Noah Carmichael.”

  I furrow my eyes as he reaches out his hand because that name sounds very familiar. “It’s been about thirteen years, but I’d know the man who broke my streak of wins at the rodeo.”

  I’m grateful for the hint because I never like being at a disadvantage of not remembering who someone is, but the night I met Colt, my mind was on my girl and the prize she was giving me that night.

  “Sorry for not remembering. It’s good to see you again, but if you’ll excuse us, I’m taking my wife home.” I’m not sure just how close Colt has been to Tamryn, but I need to remind the man that she’s still married…to me.

  Colt looks at Tamryn. “Is that what you want?”

  She nods. “I owe him, our marriage that much. We’ll see where things are tomorrow.”

  “Remember what I told you is waiting on the other side.”

  My jaw clamps down as she picks up her purse, and I follow her outside.

  “Do you have a car here or do you want to ride with me?” I point toward my pickup.

  Tamryn’s step stutters as she cuts her eyes to me. “You brought your truck?”

  I nod as a
smile of familiarity stretches my lips. “Yeah, Tamryn. It felt good to drive it.” I know the memories have come rushing back when she saw it. I want them to, I want her to think about what we’ve meant to each other for sixteen years. I want her to want us back.

  “My little Jeep is over there.”

  “Have you been drinking?”

  “Only water.”

  “Then why don’t I follow you.”

  Tamryn agrees, and I walk her to the Jeep a few cars down. When I have her securely in her car, I jog back to my truck. I follow Tamryn to the house she’s renting, and I focus on everything I’ve ever learned in law school from reading a witness to searching for facts, but the one thing that stands out in my mind didn’t come from law school. The most important technique I’ll use tonight came from a book my grandfather gave me when I graduated high school. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. The one habit that has stuck with me, and I still use today is “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

  I need to do that tonight more than ever.

  23

  Tamryn

  I continually check my rearview mirror for Noah’s white pickup. Why am I so nervous about being alone with my husband? Maybe because my wedding rings are laying on the dresser in my bedroom and not on my finger? Maybe because a man spent the night in this house with me? Maybe because I’ve jumped to conclusions that weren’t based on facts? Oh my God, maybe he’s realized he wants a divorce. Unshed tears blur my vision as I hurry to the cottage.

  I pull into the driveway and make sure to leave enough room for Noah’s truck to fit. As I wait for him, I release the wheel and notice my hands are shaking like leaves blowing in a hard wind. I close my eyes and take a calming breath when my door opens.

  My blue eyes catch warm brown ones staring back at me. Even though his eyes are heated, his voice is calm. “Are we talking in the car?”

  “I think it’d be better inside.”

  Noah helps me out with one hand and holds an accordion folder in the other. I squeeze his hand as I make my way on the gravel walkway, and he doesn’t let me go.

  “You’re going to break your ankle in those shoes on these rocks.”

  “I wasn’t thinking about that when I got dressed.”

  “What were you thinking about?”

  I look up at him and blink back the tears I never let fall. “Giving you a taste of your own medicine.”

  A crease forms between his brows. “What medicine?” He holds up his hand. “Wait, don’t answer that yet.”

  I open the door, and Noah follows me inside. While I turn on a few lights, he looks around the cozy cottage. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “Not right now, but maybe some coffee later.”

  “Where do you want to talk?” I pull up one foot to remove my shoe, then the other.

  “Wherever you’re most comfortable. I need to know your thoughts from the beginning, Tamryn. I want to know why you’ve put us in this situation, and I’m not talking about the pure hell I’ve been in since Friday.”

  “The hell you’ve been in? What about my hell?”

  His jaw is ticking, and I know that’s his equivalent of counting to ten. “Tamryn, please.” He massages his forehead. “Can we talk in here?” He waves his hand toward the living area.

  I proceed him and sit at one end of the sofa. When I turn there’s no mistaking that his eyes have been on my ass. I can see the hunger he’s trying to restrain. “Would you like a glass of ice water?”

  “More like an ice bath,” he mumbles.

  I tilt my head to the side. “Why, Noah? You had me at home last week and you chose to stay away.”

  He blows out a frustrated sigh. “It wasn’t like that.” He sits beside me and opens the folder in his hand. “I saw the magazine but didn’t think anything of it until Toby pointed out the articles on the front. At first I thought maybe you were thinking it was time to start a family like I was.”

  My head jerks up and my gaze locks with his. “What?” I whisper.

  “But since we hadn’t discussed it, the article about cheating made the most sense. Oh, great cover by the way.”

  “Thank you. Did you read it?”

  “Yes, I needed to be prepared, and I was trying to figure out where your head was.”

  “Oh, yes. My head because my heart doesn’t need anything. Right, Noah?”

  “Dammit, I’m just trying to understand.”

  “And what did your analysis come up with?”

  “That I’m guilty of four of the five.”

  “Four of the five? Ha, try a perfect score.”

  Noah pulls out a legal pad from behind the magazine. He reads what he wrote. “When have I ever come home smelling like another woman?”

  “Last Wednesday night. You remember, the night I came home to surprise you but you didn’t even have time to kiss me.” I hold up a finger. “Oh, wait a minute, you did kiss my cheek just before you walked out the door. Then came home after I went to bed, smelling like some cheap hooker.” I close my eyes thinking back on that night. “The bad part was her perfume was so strong that it clung to your body after you’d stripped out of your clothes. God, Noah, I’d just gotten home.”

  Noah rubs a hand down his face. “Baby, you were supposed to be home this week, and I’d moved most of my appointments to last week so we could reconnect and spend time together when you got home. As much as I loved your surprise, the timing just sucked.” He reaches out to touch my hair and chuckles. “I remember thinking the same thing when I initially met that girl. I’m sorry I didn’t think about her perfume sticking to me. All I knew was I couldn’t wait to be out of those clothes. I sent the suit to the cleaners the next morning before it made me sick.”

  “Why was she so close to you?”

  He turns so he faces me with his knee resting on the sofa. “She was the model that Simon said was the next you.” He casually points at me. “If she was that good, I wasn’t passing up the opportunity to negotiate her contracts because, let’s face it, there would be many. But, she wasn’t anywhere close to you. She wanted to go to a dance club, and we went. I wanted to see if she was going to be trouble, and she was. She’s barely twenty-one but wanted more than alcohol. I escorted her out and called a cab. I had Carol call Simon the next day to turn her down. I don’t want to be at the jail every other day bailing her ass out. She got close in the club because it was crowded.” He takes my hand and squeezes. “Nothing happened.”

  “What if—”

  Noah places a finger over my lips. “Tamryn, we don’t operate that way. If we did, I’d be fucking crazy. It was brought to my attention very recently that every red-blooded man who isn’t gay fantasizes about you. You, Tamryn, my wife. That’s one burden you don’t have to live with.”

  “Oh, you’re right, I just have to find lipstick on my husband’s collar when he comes home from being halfway around the world.”

  “Tamryn, I was shocked when that happened, and I removed the girl immediately from my lap. Believe me, I was pissed and almost lost the contract for my client. I don’t play that game, and I don’t care what country I’m in. You are my love, yesterday, today, and tomorrow.” He slips off his boots. “Did I ever have lipstick on my collar before that trip? How about since?”

  “I don’t know because I’m not always the one doing your laundry.”

  “You’re right because you’re gone just as much, if not more, than I am. This was the life we chose, Tamryn, because we had absolute trust in each other. What happened?”

  My chin quivers and I shrug. “I don’t know. I tried calling you several times on my last shoot and didn’t get you. Texts sucked, and we couldn’t Skype. You didn’t respond to my emails, either. Then one of the makeup artists was pregnant and looked so happy.” I brush away the tears. “On the last night, I saw one of the lighting guys who’s married kissing one of the single models, and it made my stomach turn. He knew I saw him, and the next day he told m
e that his wife wasn’t there, so what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. But it would hurt her.”

  He plays with his bottom lip like he always does when he’s thinking. “And you put us in that situation.”

  I hold his gaze and nod.

  “In that example, it would be me waiting at home for you.” Noah gently lays his index finger on my chest. “How do you think that makes me feel? Is that the kind of behavior that goes on during your photoshoots? Have you gotten carried away and forgot you’re married?” he says as he picks up her left hand and rubs his thumb across my empty ring finger.

  I shake my head. “Never.”

  He doesn’t release my hand. “That brings us to the jewelry, doesn’t it? I reread our last text conversations. You told me that you didn’t need the jewelry, you just needed me. Do you still feel that way?”

  My voice is barely above a whisper because of the tears. “Yes.”

  “Then come here.” He pulls me onto his lap and wraps me in his arms. “Tams, I don’t know why I feel the need to buy you something when I disappoint you. Maybe it’s a peace offering so you won’t be quite so mad. Maybe they are guilt gifts, but I never thought you’d see them as such.”

  He leans down and picks up the folder. “Please hear me out. I went back and bought all the jewelry from the pawn shop except one piece. The store owner kept a pair of earrings.” He raises a shoulder. “Since I hadn’t ever seen them, I didn’t care. Just so you know, I may not physically go to the store, but I’ve approved every purchase except that one. I tell Carol what I’m looking for, and she sends me pictures. If I can’t see you wearing it in my mind’s eye, it doesn’t get bought. I used to buy them all, but in the last few years I sent Carol because it was easier. I won’t do that again.”

  “I’d rather have you, like this.”

  “Baby, we were so young when we first started dating. Then college and law school. I didn’t have the money to buy you nice things, but now I do. That ruby and diamond necklace was bought with the charity event next month in mind. It would really stand out with your black dress, not to mention at the company Christmas party that’s going to be formal this year. The pearl earrings are just because I know how much you like pearls. The diamond tennis bracelet is because I knew how beautiful it’d look on your arm.” He nudges me. “And I’m right.”