The Believer (The Shakers 2)

by Ann H. Gabhart

  "We hide no one" Eldress Rosellen spoke calmly. "All who come to us are free to leave whenever they so wish. We keep no one against her will"

  Colton looked twice as big as the eldress and completely out of place in this Shaker house where peace was advanced at all times. The other men were even worse, giving every appearance of being highwaymen with no respect of property or person. They circled around Eldress Rosellen and the other sisters on the bottom floor like wolves around sheep. Elizabeth felt sick. She couldn't let them hurt these women if it was in her power to stop them. She would have to face Colton.

  "Don't put on your holy act with me," Colton was saying. "I've been told what you do here. Killing babies and dancing naked and claiming to worship all the time. Stealing girls for your preacher men to do what ought not to be done"

  Several of the sisters drew in shocked breath, and the color drained from Eldress Rosellen's face as she stared at Colton. "Nay, there is no truth in any of that. We serve the Lord in peace here"

  "Well, you won't be having any peace today." Colton pushed past her and came toward the sisters' stairway with the other men trailing behind him.

  The sisters on the stairs moved shoulder to shoulder to block the men. Sister Agnes, who barely stood a head taller than the handrail, stared up at Colton and said, "Get back from me, Satan"

  "Satan, eh?" Colton let out a short laugh that did nothing to soften the hard lines on his face. "Well, I'm not the old devil, but I'm more than any of you can handle" He reached out to shove the old sister aside.

  Elizabeth pulled in a breath as she summoned up her courage. She forced her feet to move and stepped in front of Sister Melva out where Colton could see her. "Leave her be, Colton"

  Colton stared at Elizabeth as if he didn't recognize her. Then he snorted a little as the dark anger on his face changed to condescending amusement. "The cap doesn't become you, Elizabeth:" His smile faded as he shook his head. "The man with your dog told me you must be among the Shakers, but I thought he had to be wrong. I couldn't believe you'd join up with these religious fanatics instead of keeping your promise to me. And now here you are in your cap and apron:'

  "They have taken me into their family." Elizabeth kept her eyes on Colton's face. Around her the sisters were silent and unmoving.

  "I'm here to take you away." He made a move to push past the sisters standing between them.

  Elizabeth spoke quickly to stop him. "I have no desire to leave with you:"

  "You owe me a debt:" Colton's eyes narrowed on her.

  I have seen no proof of that. I searched through my father's papers and there was nothing indicating he owed you anything. Father was a lawyer. He would have made a contract in regard to any debts:'

  Elizabeth fought to keep her voice from trembling. But Sister Melva must have heard her fear, for she stepped nearer Elizabeth and brushed against her arm to lend her courage.

  Elizabeth pushed out the question she dreaded to hear answered. "Can you show proof?"

  "We had an understanding. You were to be payment if he couldn't come up with the money. And now sadly, he has passed on without paying that debt"

  Colton's eyes on her made her stomach twist inside her, but she didn't look away from him. "My father wouldn't have made such an arrangement. Not without my permission"

  °A desperate man can be forced to do surprising things:'

  Eldress Rosellen spoke behind him. "A person cannot be given in satisfaction of a debt"

  Colton looked at her before his eyes went to Sister Annie's black face as she stood behind the eldress. "What about her? They sell the likes of her as slaves in the town square:"

  "Nay, not here at Harmony Hill. She is as free as the rest of us here. As free as Sister Elizabeth who has joined with us:" Eldress Rosellen eyed Colton a moment before going on. "If you have proof of some debt our sister's father owed you in the world before she came to us, bring it and the Ministry will consider payment"

  "I said it was an understanding. A deal agreed to with a handshake"

  "Then as there is no proof of what you say, I must ask you to leave and not return" Eldress Rosellen stepped over to the door and pulled it open wider.

  "I don't think you have it in your power to make me do anything, granny;" Colton told the little woman scornfully. "But my grievance is not with you, but with your sweet little Sister Elizabeth as she well knows." He turned back to Elizabeth. He was like a wolf with his paw already on the neck of the choicest lamb, and when his lips turned up in a small self-satisfied smile, it was all Elizabeth could do to stand still and not run from his eyes on her. "Don't you, Sister? There's more than the matter of your father's debt to me, isn't there? There's my cabin burned to the ground"

  "Your cabin burned?" Elizabeth tried to sound surprised and then sad. "If that is true, we have lost all we left behind as well"

  "Do you expect me to believe you knew nothing of this?"

  Colton's eyes bored into her, but she didn't shrink from his look as she answered, "Believe what you like. The cabin was standing when I shut its door behind me"

  "Then perhaps I should ask your brother what he knows of it. Perhaps I should have the sheriff come ask the questions"

  "Do what you will. We did no harm to your cabin before we left it. And you say it burned? When was that?"

  Colton smiled slightly. "As if you don't already know. Our innocent young Payton has always liked fires, but I fear he won't like jail."

  "Go away, Colton:" She managed to sound sure and determined without letting even a hint of the trembles she felt inside sound in her voice.

  His face darkened. "You will come with me, Elizabeth. I've given you much more than the week you asked to mourn your father." He pushed past the first sisters on the stairs as the other men began to throw down the chairs from the pegs.

  Suddenly Elder Homer stormed into the house with a pitchfork. He did not hold the pitchfork menacingly, but he did grip it tightly as he said, "What goes on here?" Other brethren filed in behind him to quickly move between the men and the sisters.

  The men with Colton looked at the Shaker brethren's somber faces and backed slowly away from them toward the door. Colton stopped on the stairs. Four sisters still stood between him and Elizabeth. He looked down at the brethren, then back at Elizabeth. "I will have you, Elizabeth. One way or another."

  "Nay, I will never be yours, Colton. Never."

  He made a sound of disgust before he said, "You even try to sound like one of them, but you're not. You're mine. Rest assured of that"

  Without waiting for her to reply, he turned and went down the stairs. He looked neither left nor right as he strode out the door.

  When Elizabeth heard the horses' hooves carrying the men out of the village, she looked at Sister Melva. "I didn't mean to bring you trouble," she said. "I didn't think he would find me here"

  "Worry not, Sister Elizabeth. We will stomp out the evil brought into our house" And down below the Shakers circled the room in a stomping dance so full of spirit and fury that Elizabeth expected to feel the house shake. But it did not. It was built too solidly.

  "Come add your feet to the dance" Sister Melva took Elizabeth's hand and led her down the stairs where she joined the others stomping and pushing with their hands to shove the devil away. If only she could believe it might work.

  Ethan watched the wheel of the steamship churn the river water, lifting and dropping it over and over. Ever since he'd stepped aboard the riverboat for their trip down the river to New Orleans, he had been aware of the water flowing under his feet. Aware of it taking him away from all he'd known, and yet somewhere within his soul there was a glad yielding to the pull of the water.

  It worried him. This feeling of one with the river. This excitement each time they reached a new port. He feared his father's seed had sprouted unbeknownst to him, and now the river was watering it, making it grow. He feared falling from grace.

  Brother Martin had seemed to have the same fear for him after Ethan had
confessed the struggle he felt whenever he was near Elizabeth. Ethan had told him of his encounter with Elizabeth in the woods. He had to. Unconfessed sin kept one from living the perfect way, the Shaker way. While he hadn't planned to meet Elizabeth in the trees, they had met. Without supervision. Without control.

  "You should have gone to get Brother Issachar before you approached her." Brother Martin had taken off his spectacles and rubbed his forehead as if Ethan's confession hurt his head.

  "I thought she was going to jump. If I had gone for Brother Issachar, I would have had no chance to save her"

  The lines between Brother Martin's eyes deepened. He blew out a puff of air from his nose and sat in thought a moment before he said, "Yet you tell me she was not going to jump at all:"

  "Yea, but I feared that was what she intended:"

  "It could be you should have spoken a prayer for guidance to our Eternal Father or Mother Ann. Did you do so?" Brother Martin peered across the table at Ethan.

  "Nay, I was only concerned with pulling my sister back from the edge of danger;" Ethan admitted.

  "I fear you too were on the edge of danger, Brother Ethan. That you teeter there even yet" Brother Martin's eyes bored into Ethan. "This woman has a troubling spirit" He spoke the word "woman" as some might say "harlot"

  Ethan felt the color rising in his face, but he dared not look away from Brother Martin's eyes. "Sister Elizabeth didn't go into the woods to seek me nor did I go to seek her. It was merely chance that led me to the spring for water at the same time she was searching for a way down to the pool"

  "So you say." Brother Martin tapped his spectacles against the table.

  "I have spoken true words:' When Brother Martin continued to stare at him without speaking for a long moment, Ethan went on. "Do you not believe me?"

  Again Brother Martin tapped his spectacles against the table. In the silent room the tapping seemed loud. At last he said, "It isn't that I think you don't speak the truth. It's more that I sense something hidden, something that's pulling you from the true way."

  "I do not want it to be so' Ethan lowered his eyes. He had no answers for the older brother or for himself. He stared down at his hands gripping his thighs. Strong hands. Hands he had always put to work for God and for the good of his brethren and sisters.

  Was Brother Martin right? Was the new sister pulling him away from the beliefs he'd promised to be true to? He couldn't deny she disturbed his inner peace. He'd confessed that to Brother Martin, but Ethan hadn't spoken of his desire to touch her lips with his. He hadn't told him of the abandon with which he had jumped into the pool of water with the two sisters. The sound of their reckless laughter echoed in his mind and smote him with guilt. Even so, he didn't seem able to put such sins into words for Brother Martin to hear. Not and risk the loss of his trust. Yet with unconfessed sin in his heart, he surely risked much worse.

  After the silence dragged on for what seemed like an hour, Brother Martin sighed. "Wrong thoughts can lead you into sin, Brother Ethan, and sin can bring you low. Nay, not only can. Will. Sin will bring you low. Purity in mind and body are required for the salvation of your soul. `Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God: That's what we want. To live such a life here in our village that we are pure of heart and purpose. That we bring heaven down to us. That is what you want, is it not, my brother?"

  "You know it is. I am a Believer," Ethan answered. He had no doubts of that. "I will pray for an increase in the purity of my mind and body."

  "Yea, that will be well:" Brother Martin pushed out another long breath of air and then propped his spectacles back on his nose. "Brother Issachar has requested you be allowed to accompany him downriver to help with the selling of our products."

  Ethan looked up quickly. He had long wanted to go on such a trip, but only days ago Brother Martin had seemed reluctant to give his approval. Other young brothers under Brother Martin's charge had been sent out to the world on trading trips, even to colleges to learn special skills, but for some reason, Brother Martin had always kept Ethan close to the village. Perhaps he sensed hidden seeds of sin inside Ethan. Perhaps Brother Issachar had told him of the father Ethan had never confessed knowing to Brother Martin.

  "A trading trip?" Ethan asked.

  "Yea, I don't mind telling you that in the past I have had doubts of the wisdom of such a trip for you, but now I am inclined to agree with Brother Issachar that in order to become a stronger, more committed Believer, you must be allowed to experience some troubles of the world. After all, Mother Ann said, `Souls in order to insure the right temper are heated in the furnace of affliction and plunged in cold waters of tribulation; some come out of the trial pure, elastic, and bright, ready for the highest service. Others come out brittle and ill-tempered, full of flaws and spots of rust

  Brother Martin's eyes settled on Ethan with a good measure of kindness now mixed in with the worry. "I will pray for no spots of rust on you, Brother Ethan, when you return from the trip with Brother Issachar and that you will steadily climb the path to that higher service for which you were given to us:"

  "I will have the same prayer every day when I wake up and before I lay my head down at night while I am away from the village. When will we go?" Ethan tried to keep the eagerness out of his voice, but he feared Brother Martin heard it anyway.

  'A steamship should be coming in to our landing any day now. When it does, you must be ready."

  The steamship had come that very evening. Ethan had heard the sound of its horn from up in the village, and it had sent a shock through him. He was glad he hadn't had to be in the same room with Elizabeth before he left. He was thankful he hadn't had to stand in front of the assembly and confess his wrong behavior to the whole Society. That would prove how low temptation had sunk him.

  The horn had sounded a second time and pushed some of Ethan's worries right out of his head. He could hardly wait to step on the steamship and start down the river. He hoped the water flowing under his feet would make him forget the sight of Elizabeth's eyes looking at him, seeming to understand more about him than he understood himself.

  But now as he stood on deck and watched the Mississippi River water sliding past the boat, he realized that he'd brought the thought of Elizabeth's eyes and touch with him. He tried not to think of her, but she kept slipping past his guard. He dreamed of her. How could a man control the images of his dreams? She was in the mist rising off the river when he first woke in the mornings and stumbled out on deck to face the day. She was in the reflection of the setting sun on the water as evening came. He looked at the stars in the dark of the night and saw the sparkle of her eyes. He knew not how or why, but he couldn't deny he carried a part of her with him.

  And he wondered about her back at Harmony Hill. He wondered if the elders and eldresses had condemned her for disregarding the rules and causing a disturbance in the village. He wondered what she had confessed to her appointed confessor. He didn't only wonder about that, but at times felt an almost overpowering worry since he hadn't been as truthful in his own confession as he should have been. What if their stories were compared? Would he be asked to depart from his family of Believers if the Ministry learned of those sins he had not confessed to Brother Martin? Was he being tempered in the fire of temptation? Ethan stared down at the muddy river water and felt way too brittle with the corrosion of sin eating at his spirit.

  "The river water rolling by can be a balm to a troubled spirit:" Brother Issachar joined him at the rail. He didn't look at Ethan, but kept his eyes on the water churning up behind the boat's big wheel.

  "Yea," Ethan agreed. He longed to talk to Brother Issachar about his troubled thoughts, but at the same time he was reluctant to speak the words. They had actually done very little talking other than about matters of business. At each landing they carried some of their products off the boats and set them out for sale. Many who came to buy from them called Brother Issachar by name and greeted him with a smile and an eagerness for the Shaker product
s. Others looked upon them with suspicion, but even they often as not bought something after examining the workmanship of the brooms or hats or reading the labels on the potions. Nearly every buyer asked for seeds and took away a packet of cucumber or bean seed to save for the coming year even though Brother Issachar promised he or another brother would be back in the spring.

  Brother Issachar leaned his arms down on the railing. After a long silence, he said, "A man can feel the loss of his roots when he's on the river."

  Ethan stared down at the water. "The river pulls at me,' he admitted.

  "The river pulls at many men when they are within its sight and sound. The water forever rushing on with few restraints:"

  "The banks hold it in:" Ethan looked to the thick growths of trees alongside the river. Here and there the trees gave way to a few houses or shacks.

  "But with more water, the banks are forgotten. At times the water does what it wills:" Brother Issachar waved away a fly that buzzed his face. "They say the water of the Mississippi flowed backwards during the great earthquake in'12 and that the river heaved up high above the banks taking the boats with it. Those who lived through it couldn't stop talking of the wonder of it:"

  "You sound as if you might want to see such:" Ethan looked at Brother Issachar.

  "Yea, I am wont to search after new sights at times," Brother Issachar said. Then he smiled. "But upheavals of the earth might be something I might prefer to witness from a safe perch somewhere:"

  "It wouldn't be the same watching as experiencing it"

  "Nay, nothing is, but oft it is the safer road to travel:" Brother Issachar's smile disappeared as he stared down at the water again. "Especially out here among those of the world:"

  "That's why we shut away the world from our villages, is it not? To keep temptations at bay."

  "Yea, temptations are generally easier to avoid than to conquer once we have invited such into our thoughts. A true Believer aims to live a perfect life of service and worship. To do good to all without falling into sin. To know peace:'

  "Do you know that peace?" Ethan felt a yearning inside him for the peace of living in harmony with the Lord and his brethren. Peace he'd once thought he had, but he'd surely been wrong. He couldn't have lost it so easily if it had been the true peace of a Believer.