The Edge

by SJD Peterson

  Joshua held his breath, eyes closed tightly. His dick twitched in Nash’s hand. Sweat trickled down his temples.

  “Deep breaths,” Nash encouraged.

  Joshua let out a breath slowly, his body tense, trembling, and slick with perspiration. Nash was starting to think Joshua had waited too long, that he wouldn’t be able to stave off his impending release. But to Nash’s relief and great delight, Joshua finally opened his eyes and swallowed hard. “Whew, that was close, Sir.”

  “Better now?”

  Joshua shifted and blew out a long, drawn-out breath, then nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good.” Nash went right back to stroking Joshua hard and fast.

  It only took a couple of minutes before Joshua screamed again, only this time it was “Red!” Nash instantly dropped his hands to his sides but apparently the loss of sensation hadn’t registered yet as Joshua continued to scream, “Red! Red! For fuck’s sake, red!”

  “I’ve stopped. Deep breaths. C’mon, boy, you can do it.”

  Joshua panted harshly, entire body shaking violently, his eyes still squeezed shut.

  “C’mon boy, open your eyes. Focus on me, on my voice, not your dick. This is about me, about my needs, not yours.” Nash kept his voice low and even, using encouraging words until Joshua once again relaxed against the table. His body trembled, but his breaths were less harsh, and he opened his eyes.

  “Good, boy,” Nash praised. “Maybe you should keep your eyes open. You seem to cry out whenever you keep them closed too long.”

  “Wow! I have no idea how I didn’t blow. That was fucking intense, Sir. But I’m pretty sure it had nothing to do with my eyes and everything to do with the way you are working my dick.”

  “Either way, I’m proud of you. That was quite impressive.”

  “Thank you, Sir,” Joshua said. He beamed with the praise, all his cocky swagger absent.

  “Would you like some water?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Nash brought the table to an upright position. He grabbed a bottle of water, opened it, and placed it against Joshua’s lips. He drank down a good amount. “Thank you, Sir.”

  “Need more?”

  Joshua shook his head.

  Nash tipped up the bottle and drank down the rest in one long gulp. He recapped it, then tossed it in the garbage can. It hit the rim, then clanked to the ground.

  “It’s a good thing I’m a much better Dom than a basketball player, huh?” Nash chuckled.

  “Very good thing for me, Sir.”

  “I’m so glad you feel that way. Now back to what I’m good at.” He wrapped his hand around Joshua’s prick. His boy’s eyes went wide.

  Chapter Eight

  JOSHUA WAS going to shake apart, just fucking shatter into a million little pieces. Nash had spent the last hour bringing Joshua to the edge, but each time Joshua started to take a step over it, Nash would jerk him back, refusing to let him fall into the bliss he sought. Joshua didn’t know how much more he could take. He was supposed to be focusing on Nash, but with the way his balls were aching, he was having a difficult time. His overly sensitive cockhead demanded his attention each time Nash came near it, even with the softest of touches. Red was on the tip of his tongue. He was really, really trying to please Nash, but Christ, how much longer was the bastard going to draw it out? Oh, and Nash was truly a bastard. A sadistic one. The smile on his face each time Joshua cried out was proof of just how much Nash was enjoying Joshua’s torment.

  “You’ve done so well, you deserve a reward,” Nash informed him.

  Joshua narrowed his eyes, skeptical. “What kind of reward, Sir?”

  “The kind that makes me deliriously happy,” Nash said cryptically. He retrieved two heavy chains attached to sheepskin-lined leather cuffs from the cabinet. He attached the end of each chain to a hook in the ceiling. “Scooch your ass to the edge of the table.”

  Joshua did as he was told and Nash secured the cuffs around Joshua’s calves, putting him in the perfect position for fucking, knees spread, ass exposed. At least that’s what he hoped was coming next. Nash picked up the condom. Joshua couldn’t help but grin, knowing he was getting what he wanted. Hopefully, it wasn’t him that would be coming, at least not until Nash allowed it. However, with as worked up as Joshua was, he no longer had confidence in his abilities to follow the rules. Hell, he could barely put a complete sentence together. He was so fucking horny, if he didn’t get off soon, his goddamn head was going to explode—both of them.

  Nash, however, didn’t seem to have the same sense of urgency. He took his dear sweet time unfastening his pants and pulling off his shirt before opening the condom package. Briefly, Joshua was able to concentrate on something other than his own dick as he took some time to admire his Dom’s impressive body. The perfect amount of hair across his torso, dark erect nipples, and bulging muscles. From the way his chest was rising and falling, he wasn’t as unaffected as he tried to portray. His impressive cock was also straining upward as he rolled the condom on.

  Joshua shifted, lifting his ass and thrusting his hips in a wanton attempt to get Nash to hurry up.

  “I have an eager boy, I see.”

  Joshua gritted his teeth at Nash’s teasing tone. “Completely your fault, Sir. You’re driving me mad.”

  Nash tilted his head, then ran the tip of his index finger across the tip of Joshua’s cock. “That’s because you’re focusing on this instead of me.”

  “Hard not to,” Joshua snapped.

  Nash scowled. “Tone, boy.”

  Joshua swallowed down his irritation. “Sorry, Sir, it’s just….” He pursed his lips. “There is no excuse for my disrespect.”

  “Apology accepted. Now, I need for you to trust that I know what you can handle. What you need.”

  Joshua wasn’t so sure of Nash’s ideas of what Joshua could or couldn’t handle. He’d already been reduced to a trembling, babbling fool. Pushed much further and he’d be stark raving mad. He didn’t say any of it out loud. It would only slow Nash down because he’d have to give reasons why he deserved trust.

  Instead, Joshua said, “Yes, I’m sure you know what I need, Sir.”

  “Yes, I do.” Nash lowered the back of the table until Joshua was lying flat.

  Nash took his cock in hand and guided it to Joshua’s ass. “Open for me, boy.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Nash nudged his cockhead against Joshua’s hole, but it had been a while since he’d lubed himself up, and with the tension that had settled into his muscles, he was having a hard time relaxing.

  Nash pushed again, a little harder this time. “Open yourself, boy.”

  “Yes, Sir.” Saying it and doing it were two completely different things. His body simply wasn’t responding to the command.

  Nash was persistent, pushing, nudging, and when Joshua still didn’t relax, Nash thrust his hips hard, breaching Joshua’s ass and going balls deep.

  “Jesus!” Joshua arched, the burn intense, robbing him of his ability to breathe.

  Nash pulled all the way out and slammed into him again. This time Joshua didn’t even have enough air in his lungs to cry out. He could only grit his teeth and ride the pain. It consumed him and freed him. He hated the way his muscles tightened and cramped, but it was necessary to propel him to a higher state of being. He took the pain, processed it, turned it into something different, something he could relate to, and then it happened. He was fucking flying. Nash did know what he needed. The rush was incredible, and it sent him even higher. He was no longer focusing on his dick or any other part of his body, but soaring on a pain-fueled flight of pure bliss.

  Nash rode him hard and fast, yet Joshua was able to remove himself from the here and now as if he were floating above his body—aware of what was happening physically, yet not truly reacting to it. That was until Nash took Joshua’s cock in hand and stroked it with the same fast and hard rhythm that he was driving in and out of Joshua’s ass. It was only then that Joshua sensed the k
not coiling within in his balls as he slammed back into his body. The flight was over and just like that, he was on the verge of coming.

  “Red! Sir! Sir! Please! Red!”

  All movement stopped, but Joshua was so wrapped up in the needs of his body that he heard nothing. Saw nothing. All his senses were stripped, except the heaviness in his sac and the tingling in his cock. He had to come. God, how he needed to come. All he had to do was release the reins he had around his willpower and let it all go. Just step right over the edge and consequences be damned. But, even as he thought it, there was a part of him, the part that wanted to please Nash, that wasn’t getting the message. He teetered back and forth in a mental game of tug-of-war. The good thing, or maybe the worst thing, was as the battle went on, the sudden urge to come dissipated and it released its tight hold.

  “Are you okay? C’mon, boy. Open your eyes.”

  Joshua did as he was told and blinked at Nash. He had a concerned expression on his face. “I’m… okay.” His voice was hoarse.

  “Damn, you scared me. I wasn’t sure if you had fallen asleep or passed out.”

  “Just zoned out for a minute.” Joshua shook his head and whistled. “Wow, now that was a fucking rush.”

  Nash’s brows stitched together, no doubt in an attempt to look stern, but he couldn’t hide the way his top lip curled at the corner. “I’m glad you’re enjoying my pleasure so much.”

  “Actually, Sir, I’m kind of having a love-hate relationship with your tactics. And to be completely honest, you plow into me again and I don’t know if it will matter if I know my safeword.”

  “Well, let’s test that theory, shall we?”

  A pitiful-sounding whimper escaped Joshua before he could clamp down on it. He wasn’t sure of what was up or down, his mind and body so exhausted, yet he still vibrated with excitement and need. Such a strange sensation, like nothing he’d ever experienced before. This time when Nash entered him there was no pain, but the tingling sensation exploded, and after just two thrusts of Nash’s hips, Joshua was once again standing on the brink of detonation.

  Red! Red! Red! his mind screamed, yet he was unable to speak. He couldn’t get his mouth to work, nor did he have any control over his body. A glut of pleasure.

  Then, without warning the tight band was released from his dick. He thought he heard Nash say something, but he wasn’t sure what it was or if he had even spoken. He was falling. He’d stepped over the edge and was descending into the abyss. There was no sight, no sound, no smells, just complete and utter peace. Blackness inched in around his vision. He tried to blink it away, to fight it, but it was as if he were an ethereal being trying to catch smoke. There was no way to combat it, and the blackness closed in until there was nothing.

  NASH RELEASED the cock ring. “Come for me.” Before he could even finish the sentence, Joshua was coming. Nash wasn’t even sure if his boy had heard him. Nash clamped down on his own need, riding out Joshua’s release as pulse after pulse landed on Joshua’s stomach and chest. It was a herculean effort considering the sight of Joshua in the throes of bliss. His face was slack with pleasure, head tipped back, lips parted in a silent scream. He was so beautiful. His boy. His Joshua.

  The last drop seeped from Joshua and only then did Nash give in to his own need. His knees nearly buckled and he fell forward and held his boy’s sweat-soaked body. Nash clung to Joshua, listening to the rapid beat of his heart, content and warm. Nash wanted to close his eyes, rest against Joshua’s warm skin, sleep. Nevertheless, he couldn’t. He had to take care of his boy. Next time, he’d plan better. Make sure they were both in a position to hold each other and bask in the glow of postfuck bliss. With a groan, he lifted up, his dick slipping from Joshua. Joshua didn’t move, his breathing slow and even, eyes closed, and a slight smile on his face.

  Nash disposed of the condom, then fastened up his pants. A small snuffling sound was the only response from Joshua. Nash smiled at his sleeping boy, went to the bathroom and ran a washcloth under warm water then added a little soap. Before leaving the bathroom, he tossed a towel over his shoulder. He ran the soft cloth across Joshua’s chest. He critically checked every inch of visible flesh, satisfied when he found no welts or broken skin. He washed the rest of him and Joshua didn’t move, but the small smile never faltered. Nash wondered if his boy was dreaming or if it was simply the remnants of what Nash had done to him. Nash hoped it was the latter but would be totally happy if it were the former as well.

  After Joshua was clean and dried, Nash tried to rouse him, but Joshua only grunted. There was no way in hell Nash would be able to carry Joshua upstairs, and apparently, Joshua had no plan of making it on his own. Nash did the next best thing. He rushed up the stairs, grabbed as many pillows and blankets as he could carry, and raced back to the playroom. He created a pallet on the floor, then slid his arms beneath Joshua and lifted him out of the chair.

  “Christ, you’re heavy,” Nash groaned under the weight of his boy.

  Joshua—bless his heart—wrapped his arms around Nash’s neck and buried his face. It was a damn good thing he only had a few steps to go because he barely made it to the blanket without dropping Joshua. He laid him down, then curled up next to him and pulled the covers over them. Nash couldn’t help but feel a bit cocky. The scene had gone better than he’d expected. He’d inflicted no severe pain, hadn’t left a single lasting mark, yet he’d pushed Joshua to a beautiful headspace and made him fly. He had no crazy notions that he’d cured his boy of seeking the deeper pain, but it was a step in the right direction. It gave him hope, and with it, Nash had no doubt he and Joshua would make it through their contract and beyond. Nash would never give up until his boy was whole and healthy.

  ~*~

  I’m slowly giving up.

  Something bad is going to happen. I just know it. I can feel the dread hanging over me like a dark winter night. Things have been going too well. I’m becoming comfortable, content, happy. I remember this feeling, experienced it several times when I was a child, but every time it ended in a new home, new rules, despair. I want so much to believe this time is different, but history has a way of repeating itself. I know this all too well.

  I thought about calling Dr. Hobson and asking him about it. I even thought maybe I could share it with Nash, but in the end, I didn’t tell either of them. I’m scared, a fucking coward.

  I’m not ready for it to end yet.

  Last night Nash sent me to places I didn’t believe existed. When I woke this morning, he was right there, wrapped around me like a warm blanket, holding me. He didn’t order me to get his coffee and breakfast. When I asked him about them, he said he wasn’t ready for us to get up. Us! I like that word. Before getting up, he made love to me. At least that’s what I’m calling it. I’ve never had anyone take me so slowly, so gently. It was a mutual pleasure. We were equals. No rush, no pain, no using my body for their own needs. But, now as I write this, I know it’s just my messed-up head making things up. No one makes love to fucked-up people like me. They fuck me, use me, and when they tire of me, toss me away.

  Eventually Nash will too.

  Happiness always ends.

  Always.

  Chapter Nine

  NASH WAS pacing back and forth in the hallway when Joshua stepped out of the bathroom. “Living room. Now,” Nash demanded.

  Joshua frowned, then headed for the living room and went right to his knees.

  Nash circled him like he was prey, which considering what Nash was about to do him, he supposed he was. They’d had an amazing scene the night before last. Joshua had woken, and Nash swore he’d never seen him so happy, but as the day went on, he became brooding. This morning was no different, and Nash was about to cure him of his damn grumpiness.

  “So, what shall I do with you, boy?”

  “I’m not sure, Sir,” Joshua said quickly. He frowned. “Did I do something to make you mad?”

  “No, quite the opposite,” Nash replied, walking around him again. “But
I did notice how you kept shaking your ass each time you walked by me. You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

  “I didn’t think I was doing anything on purpose, Sir. I was simply doing my chores. I mean, yeah, I guess I can see how you could take it that way, but I was merely dusting and vacuuming. I can’t think of anything….” Joshua bit his lip, effectively stopping the flow of words.

  “Hmm, I’m not so sure.” Nash stopped in front of Joshua, knowing full well that he was getting an eyeful. “I’m quite sure when you were cleaning the kitchen floor that you were pushing that sweet butt of yours out farther. Am I correct?”

  “I didn’t think I was, Sir. I was thinking more about….” Joshua sighed. “Nothing really.”

  Nash decided to relent a little on his pissed-off routine. “Do you like knowing it turns me on to watch you working around the house?”

  “Yes, Sir. I always like it when you’re turned on.”

  “Did you have any idea of what you were doing to me? Seeing you on your knees, your ass on display. Do you have any idea what was going through my mind?” Nash rubbed himself through his jean right in front of Joshua’s eyes. “You got me so hard from wanting you, I ached.”

  Joshua’s breath caught as he was about to speak. He seemed delightfully distracted by the way Nash was fondling himself and licked his lips before continuing. “No, I didn’t realize I was causing you such discomfort, Sir. You should have told me. I would have”—he licked his bottom lip again, this time slowly, sensually—“taken care of it for you.”

  Nash undid his button and eased the zipper down. “I can’t stop thinking how you looked the other night when I fucked you senseless, then seeing you on your knees today? Mmm.” Nash moaned, pulling his cock out and stroking it. “A nice spanking, I think, for being a naughty boy would be in order. But right now, I think I’d rather have you sucking me off.”

  “My pleasure, Sir.” Joshua reached forward and took Nash’s cock firmly in his fingers, pushing Nash’s hand out of the way. He moved closer on his knees and ran his tongue over the head. “It is my duty, after all, to service you.”