The Edge

by SJD Peterson

  Nash started to speak, but just then, Joshua swallowed Nash’s aching shaft into his throat and speaking no longer seemed all that important. Instead he moaned his appreciation. It felt so damn good. Joshua’s mouth was wet and hot, his throat welcoming. “God, yes,” Nash whispered, his hips rocking. “That’s it. Suck me, boy.”

  Joshua reached up, took hold of Nash’s hips, and sucked eagerly. He made enthusiastic sounds, and his tongue was doing wonderfully creative things to Nash’s dick.

  Nash looked down at his submissive, on his knees, lips wrapped around Nash’s throbbing prick. He enjoyed the sight of Joshua lapping a drop of fluid from the head. “Not going to last long, I’m afraid,” Nash said with real regret.

  Joshua slid his fingers down Nash’s cock and circled the base of his shaft tightly with finger and thumb, effectively ringing him. Then he opened his mouth wider and took Nash deep into his throat, followed by several shallow strokes before swallowing him deep again.

  “Oh God!” Nash gasped and thrust. His cock slid between Joshua’s lips, and the head slipped into Joshua’s throat. Nash shuddered. “Yes,” he hissed.

  Joshua dropped his hands to his lap, tipped his head back to the perfect angle, and opened his mouth wide. It was all the encouragement Nash needed. He grabbed the back of Joshua’s head, curled his fingers in the soft strands of hair, and thrust. Joshua took every inch of him, his tight, wet throat adding the perfect amount of friction. Within minutes he was ready to blow.

  “Joshua,” Nash whispered. His balls throbbed, and he let go, shoving himself into Joshua’s mouth as he came in long pulses. “Oh God, boy.” He shook, his legs unsteady, as Joshua sucked him and licked him clean. Joshua apparently noticed Nash’s weak state because he got to his feet and helped Nash to the sofa and sat him down. Nash probably should feel embarrassed for his lack of control, but he didn’t. He felt too good to worry about such matters at the moment.

  “You okay, Sir?” Joshua grinned knowingly.

  Nash groaned, his eyes closing. “I’m fine.” He lifted his head and smiled when he spotted a drop of come at the corner of Joshua’s mouth. Nash pointed at it. “You missed some.”

  Joshua snaked his tongue out and swiped up the droplet. “Mmm, good to the last drop.”

  “Good answer.” Nash needed a second to compose himself. “Go grab your paddle, boy,” he said. The second Joshua turned around, Nash laid his head back once again and took deep, calming breaths.

  Nash was breathing much better and the shaking in his legs had lessened when Joshua returned with the heavy, leather-padded paddle with the silver studs. Joshua loved the paddle. Loved the thud it made and how it left him red and sore for a quite some time. It was exactly what Joshua needed. It would give him something other than his brooding thoughts to focus on.

  Joshua knelt again and handed over the paddle. “How would you like me, Sir?”

  Nash turned the paddle over and over in his hand and pretended to consider it for a moment. “We’ll keep it simple, boy. Drop your pants and lie over my lap. And you don’t get to come, so don’t bother asking. I had to wait all day to get your mouth on me, so you can hold it for a bit.”

  Joshua stood, popped the button on his jeans, and lowered the zipper slowly, then slid his pants and his briefs down around his thighs.

  Nash got a good look at Joshua’s erection as it was freed from his briefs. “Tell me, boy. Is that from sucking me or in anticipation of the spanking?”

  “Do you want me to be honest?”

  “Always,” Nash insisted.

  “I got a bit of a stiffy when I was blowing you.” Joshua grinned and knelt, maneuvering himself over Nash’s thighs. “But the thought of the paddle and your heavy hand cranked it up.” He was silent for a second then added, “Oh, and because I deserve it for teasing you when I was cleaning, Sir.” It was an afterthought, Joshua’s own desires prevalent, but at least he’d amended it quickly. He was learning and deserved a reward.

  Nash ran a hand over Joshua’s ass. “Ready?” Not waiting for a reply, he slapped Joshua’s ass hard with the paddle, one hand on Joshua’s back to steady him.

  Joshua flinched, and his cock pressed into Nash’s thigh. “Thank you, Sir.”

  “You’re very welcome, boy.” Nash brought his arm down again. He alternated his blows between heavy and light, covering Joshua’s ass and raising a healthy glow. Joshua’s rock-hard cock slid between Nash’s thighs each time the paddle made contact with his ass.

  Joshua swayed with each blow, but he didn’t beg. A small grunt was the only sound Joshua made. Nash was very aware of the moment when Joshua moved into his subspace. The pain sent Joshua there easier now. Nash wondered briefly if Joshua realized the change, that even a little discomfort could force his concentration and push him deep.

  “That’s it,” Nash said softly, his strokes getting lighter as he slowed and backed off. “Well done.” He smoothed a hand over the heated skin of Joshua’s ass.

  Joshua slid off Nash’s thighs and directly to his knees. Nash grinned, noting that he chose to stay up on his knees rather than sit back on his heels. Joshua clasped his hands at the small of his back, lowered his head, and closed his eyes, going silent and still.

  Nash leaned back and silently watched as Joshua made the final transitions that allowed him to let go of whatever had been weighing heavily on him.

  Finally, when Joshua appeared to be completely calm, his breathing slow and even, Nash cleared his throat. “As much as I like looking at you with your pants shoved down and your cock on display for me, I prefer you naked, boy.”

  Joshua nodded silently and stood to undress. When he was done, he neatly folded his shirt and pants, then returned to his knees, this time sitting back on his heels. He gasped at the contact then dropped his hands in his lap and lowered his head.

  Nash settled in his chair and sighed contently. “You did such a good job I believe you deserve a reward. There’s lube and a dildo in the bedside table. Fetch them.”

  Joshua rolled to his feet, turned, and headed toward the bedroom. Nash took the opportunity to enjoy his handiwork, watching appreciatively as Joshua’s reddened ass swayed and flexed with each step. It really was quite the sight to behold, and he felt a twinge of disappointment when Joshua disappeared around the corner. It was brief because soon enough Joshua returned with a sleek, realistic-looking dildo. He went to his knees in front of Nash and held out the toy as well as a battered tube of lube.

  “Those aren’t for me.”

  Joshua tilted his head looking confused.

  “Give me a show, boy. I want to watch you stroke yourself and play with my toy.”

  Joshua’s prick twitched and strained away from his body stiffly. Joshua scooched back a few feet, set the dildo on the floor, then squeezed a good amount of lube into his palm before setting it down as well. He wrapped his slick fist around his shaft and worked it slowly from base to tip.

  “I like the way you’re looking at me when I do this.” He leaned back, propping himself on one elbow while he continued to stroke his cock at a leisurely pace.

  He spread his legs, feet firmly on the floor, and continued to pump himself until he was panting. Nash swallowed hard. The sight of Joshua pleasuring himself was a true treat. Joshua wasn’t the only one getting a reward. Nash was enjoying the show immensely.

  Joshua spent the next few moments slicking the dildo leisurely, suggestively. Finally, he shifted so he was on his hands and knees. He reached around behind himself, teasing with it at first. He slid it over his hole and pressed it in just enough to stretch.

  “Oh, damn…,” he breathed just before he arched his back and pressed the dildo deep inside. “So good.”

  Nash moved to press his hand against his renewed erection. “How does it feel? Is it big enough? Are you feeling the burn?” He pressed again and teased at his zipper.

  “It’s big,” Joshua replied with a growl as he worked the dildo in and out of his body. “Feels good.” He swall
owed hard. “Fuck yeah. Nice and wide toward the base. Stretches—” His words were cut off by a hiss. He shoved the dildo deep, back arching farther, muscles flexing and rolling. “Burn, but in a good way.” He started to move again, riding the dildo, rocking back to meet it, taking it nice and deep with each thrust. “Oh fuck, yes!”

  He rode it hard and fast for a bit, his breath coming in short, tight pants until he suddenly went still, frozen midthrust for a moment. He pressed the dildo deep until the wide flat base was flush against his ass then shifted to a sitting position, keeping it shoved to the hilt by his own body weight. He tucked his fingers around his balls and fondled them, rolling them gently in his hand while he caught his breath. “Feels so fucking good when it’s this far in me. I can feel my ass clamping down on it, trying to take it in even farther.”

  “I know just how good that tight ass feels when it’s clamped around me,” Nash said breathlessly. He slid his zipper down, giving his straining cock a little more room. His prick twitched as he freed it, and he rubbed his palm down the length. “See what you’ve done to me, boy?” He stroked himself and parted his legs.

  Joshua smiled. “I love your cock, Sir. Love that I’m making you hard.” He wiggled a bit and moaned. “Love sucking you off.” Joshua’s fingers moved back to his own erection, and he started to pull at it while he continued to roll and massage his balls with his other hand. “So hot, Sir. Let me suck you. Please, Sir.”

  Nash slid his fist languidly down his shaft, staring at Joshua’s face. His gaze flicked to Joshua’s cock, to his ass. “No, I’m going to fuck you,” he growled.

  “Yes, yes, want you.” Joshua’s hand sped on his cock, and he rolled his hips, working the dildo in his ass. “Please, Sir, fuck me.”

  “Then give me a show. Stroke that cock harder, faster.”

  Joshua instantly obeyed. He pumped his cock, biting his bottom lip, eyes squeezed shut. Fuck, he was gorgeous when giving in to pleasure. Nash clamped his fist tightly around his throbbing cock. “Want to see you come.” Nash watched Joshua carefully, seeing the sweat roll down his temples, the rapid rise and fall of his chest, the coiling of his muscles as he got closer and closer. “Now,” Nash demanded.

  Joshua shot instantly, throwing his head back and shouting his response to the ceiling. He stroked himself; come fountained over his fist until he was spent. He lowered his head, looked down his body, and then his gaze settled on Nash with a satisfied grin on his face. “Oh my. I’ve made quite the mess haven’t I, Sir?” He brought his hand to his mouth and licked his fingers seductively.

  Nash growled and jumped to his feet. He pulled a condom from his pocket, opened the packet, and rolled it on. “Hands and knees, boy.” The instant Joshua was in position, Nash disposed of the dildo with a twist and pull and slammed himself home, plunging into Joshua’s heat.

  Joshua grunted, then pressed back wantonly to meet Nash’s thrusts. “That’s it, fuck me, Sir. Please!”

  Nash didn’t say anything; he merely grabbed Joshua’s hips and pulled him back onto his prick, stabbing into him again and again. Joshua’s body clung to him, the scent of sweat and spunk and man all around him. His pulse kicked up, and a tingling sensation raced down his spine, tightened his sac.

  “Mine,” he roared as he began to come. “My boy.” Joshua shivered as Nash came, clenching around him.

  Satiated, exhausted, Nash finally stilled, then slid out of Joshua’s body. He smiled and ran a hand down Joshua’s back. He pressed a kiss to Joshua’s left shoulder. “I think we’re going to need a shower and once you’ve washed me, you can clean up this mess. And boy?”

  “Yes, Sir?”

  “You can tease me while doing your chores anytime.”

  Chapter Ten

  DR. HOBSON sat across the desk staring at Joshua until Joshua thought he’d burst with the weight of the man’s scrutiny. It wasn’t only with Nash that Joshua had a love-hate relationship. Dr. Hobson was falling into that category as well. Joshua wasn’t even sure why he was there. He should have just canceled. Hell, he should get up right now and run out the goddamn door. Yet, there he sat like some weird virus under a microscope.

  Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Dr. Hobson asked, “Why do you feel you don’t deserve happiness?”

  “I didn’t say that,” Joshua snapped.

  “What exactly did you say, then?” Dr. Hobson countered.

  “I said bad things happen when I’m happy.”

  “Like what?” Dr. Hobson asked in that infuriating calm tone of his.

  Joshua gritted his teeth to keep in the “Fuck you” that wanted out. Why wasn’t he running? He couldn’t understand why he wasn’t lashing out and getting the hell away from Hobson’s scrutinizing gaze and calm fucking questions.

  “You seem upset? It was a simple question, Joshua.”

  “You’re damn right I’m upset.” Joshua jumped to his feet, but rather than rushing out the door, he started pacing. “I don’t know why bad things always happen to me. They just do. It’s like every time I get comfortable somewhere, I do something or say something I’m not supposed to, and I fuck everything up.” He ran a hand through his hair, fighting the urge to pull it out. “Maybe it’s my birthright, born under the wrong sign or some shit. I don’t fucking know. You’re the doctor. You tell me.”

  “I can’t answer that for you. How about you tell me about the first time you felt content? Happy?”

  “No!” Joshua snarled.

  “Why not? Is it a secret?” Dr. Hobson inquired.

  “No, it’s not a big secret. Sheesh. I just don’t want to talk about it.” Joshua continued to pace, each step heavy, angry.

  “What would you like to talk about?”

  Joshua stopped midstep and glared at the doctor. “Nothing! I don’t want to talk about a goddamn thing! Why do you have to ask me so many questions?”

  Dr. Hobson didn’t so much as flinch in the face of Joshua’s anger. “I’m trying to help you find the answers to yours.”

  Joshua held Dr. Hobson’s gaze a second longer, then stomped away and started pacing again. “Christ, you’re irritating me.”

  “Sounds like everything is irritating you today. Why do you think that is?”

  “There you go with your goddamn questions again. Stop it. Just stop it!” Joshua curled his hands into fists, digging his fingernails into the meaty flesh of his palms. Blood oozed, the heat flared, and so did the pain, but rather than calm him, it taunted him. His heart hammered, breath harsh. So many damn questions they made his head throb painfully. He continued to stomp around the room, vibrating with a red-hot rage surging through him. Dr. Hobson didn’t interfere, only sat at his desk staring at Joshua with that expression that Joshua wanted nothing more than to wipe away with a single blow. He couldn’t bear to look at him. Each time he did, it set his blood to boiling, and he’d stomp even harder.

  Joshua tried to push away the memories of loss, to focus on the good ones he was making with Nash, but no matter how hard he tried, they’d slip from his mind like smoke, leaving in their place loneliness, hunger, rejection. He started to swipe his arm across the desk, wanted to destroy everything around him, leave it broken as surely as he was. He somehow managed to resist the urge. How long he stayed in that pissed-off state, he wasn’t sure. But eventually, it released him, and he slumped down into the chair, exhausted.

  “Feel better?” Dr. Hobson inquired.

  Joshua rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. “Not really.”

  “Would you like something to drink?”

  Joshua took a couple of calming breaths, his pulse returning to normal. His temper tantrum left him drained and his throat raw. He lifted his head. “Yes, please,” he said hoarsely.

  Dr. Hobson picked up the silver decanter, poured ice water into a glass, and handed it to Joshua.

  “Thank you.” He gulped down a large amount. The cold liquid soothed his painful throat and dry mouth. He finished it, then pushed the empty g
lass across the desk.

  “Would you like some more?”

  Joshua lowered his head and closed his eyes. Damn, he was tired. Like bone-deep weary. Not the kind that could be cured with a good night of sleep or even a week’s worth. No, this was a weariness born of twenty-five years of struggle.

  “I’m not sure it is worth it anymore.”

  “What’s not worth it?”

  Joshua snapped his head up and gawked at Dr. Hobson. Christ, did I say that out loud? That was a stupid question. He obviously had.

  “The struggle.” Joshua snapped his mouth shut. His mouth was working faster than his brain.

  “Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself?”

  All the time. At least this time he was smart enough to keep his big fat stupid mouth shut. “If you’re asking me if I’m about to off myself, then the answer is no, so you don’t have to worry about calling for the little men in the white coats to put me in a padded room.”

  Dr. Hobson sat back in his chair, folded his hands, and rested his chin on his thumbs. He stared at Joshua until the weight of it caused Joshua to squirm. “Tell me about this struggle.”

  “Where should I begin,” Joshua said in exasperation.

  “From the beginning is always best, I find.”

  “Dear God, how long do we have? This may take a while.”

  “I’m in no hurry.” Dr. Hobson lowered his hands to his lap and smiled. “I have all afternoon.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t know if I can handle it that long,” Joshua mumbled. He rolled his neck, the tension causing it to crack and pop. “I don’t really like thinking about that shit. My past is my past. It needs to stay there.”

  “Ah, but it’s not staying there, is it?”

  “Nope. Any suggestion on how to put it back where it belongs, lock it up, and throw away the key?”

  “Joshua, we can only hide from our past for so long. It has a way of surfacing, no matter what we do. The best thing is to look at it, learn from it, and move on.”