Personal Demons

by Rachel A. Collett

  “Who is he?” I asked as we pulled to a stop in front of Dr. Stevens’s house.

  “He is many different things to many different people. I will not give him a name other than the name that he has chosen for himself at this time. But Sarah, do not dwell on who—or even what—he is. Dwell on who you are. Bring your thoughts to the people you love. There is power in that. There is power in you. Don’t be afraid.” He tried to smile, but it swiftly faded.

  I thought back to how I had felt a strange energy within me, a small flickering flame of possibility… of hope. But then I remembered just how quickly Jonathan was able to defeat my so-called power.

  “But why is he after me, Aaron? Why?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What did I do?”

  “I don’t know that you did anything.” Aaron stared out in front of him, and I followed his line of vision to Laith, who waited for us outside. “But I have a feeling we’ll find out soon enough.”

  Aaron got out of the car and walked to my side.

  “He followed me to the library. What if he comes here?” I asked, my voice lowered so as not to be heard by anyone other than Aaron.

  “He won’t come here and he cannot enter unless you invite him.” Aaron gave me a fierce expression. “Don’t invite him.”

  I grabbed him by the arm before he could move away. “Do you know the name Ava Matthias?”

  Aaron’s eyes grew large; his gaze unfocused. “Oh dear heaven’s above,” he muttered beneath his breath.

  “Sarah,” Laith called to me just as Elisa and Dad pulled to a stop, his silver Airstream glowing brilliantly in the bright afternoon sun. They emerged from his truck and followed us inside. Dad viewed the grand home in disgust, completely ignoring me and the rest of our tense group. As we walked, I watched my father closely, his current behavior so foreign that my heart broke. Did I know anyone in this group? Besides my dad, every single one had titled themselves my friend. But could you be friends with someone you didn’t even know?

  As we entered through the large oak front doors, Ray called out from somewhere down the hallway. “Ah, perfect! Laith! Elisa! I’m so glad you’re back.”

  “Dad.” Laith’s voice was a warning, but Ray didn’t seem to notice.

  “I have that map to the compound you needed. It’s right here. I was just about to send it to you, but you should probably wait…” His voice trailed off as Aaron entered behind me, followed by Elisa and my father. “What’s going on?” his voice waivered slightly.

  Laith answered first, his head nodding in the direction of my dad. “Ray, I want you to meet my old friend—”

  “Matthias,” Ray finished for him. Excitement lit his face as his gaze danced from me to my father.

  “Don’t call me that,” my father warned in a tone I had only heard a few times in my life.

  “What should we call you then? Pete? Hey, Ray, I want you to meet Pete. Oh, and his lovely daughter, Sarah, of course.” Laith’s fictitious grin spread as he waved a hand in my direction.

  “Why don’t we go into the library?” Elisa redirected the group again.

  As we walked toward the room, Ray considered Aaron trailing behind. “And who might this be?”

  Laith looked as if he had forgotten about Aaron. “Who? Oh, that is Sarah’s caretaker—”

  “Friend,” I corrected. “This is Aaron.” Despite my exhaustion, pride pricked. “And my father’s name is Alex.”

  Laith turned as we entered the room, shocked into a moment of silence. Then he said, “Of course it is. Not very creative is he, Sarah? He changes your name but can’t come up with a new one for himself. That’s okay, though. What he lacks in creativity, he makes up elsewhere. We have a master magician here, capable of making anyone disappear!”

  I nervously glanced at my dad, who still avoided eye contact.

  “Tell us, Alex. How did you keep her hidden? Did you lock her in a closet for years at a time?” Laith said.

  “Shut up,” Dad warned, his voice clipped.

  “All this time, Matthias. Why? For what purpose?” Elisa’s asked.

  “That is none of your business.”

  “It’s ALL of our business!” Laith shouted, causing me to jump. “She is unprepared! You have done nothing to ready her. You have failed her in everything she is supposed to represent. You have failed her, and you have failed us.”

  My dad sputtered. “I have taught her—”

  “You have taught her nothing!” Laith interrupted.

  “How dare you!” My father’s fists were balled by his side, his face a bright shade of red.

  “How dare you! She is a Matthias. She is Ava Matthias! What have you done, Alexander?” Laith’s face had turned a color that matched my dad’s.

  “Laith, stop it,” I yelled, trying to shield my father from his stinging accusations, but my dad suddenly turned towards me.

  “Sarah,” my dad growled, low and feral. I froze in fear, recognizing the wild twist to his voice, “defend yourself.”

  The familiar sound of steel rang through the air as he unsheathed his long knife from the side of his boot. Suddenly, and from across the room, he ran at me, jaw muscles tensed as he took a swing with his weapon. Far too late, I dodged just as the blade sliced into the side of my shoulder.

  He lunged again. My mind went numb to the pain as my body tensed for the blow, but before he could strike again, two sets of hands grabbed him. Elisa stood out in front of me, her small frame a shield between my father and me, as Laith and Aaron held him firm.

  “What are you doing, Alexander?” Elisa deftly removed the knife from my struggling father, and flicked it into the wall at an impressive speed.

  Of course she would know how to use a knife.

  “I’m proving she has been taught,” he protested, still trying to escape their hold.

  “She’s already proven she knows how to protect herself, you old fool. We’ve seen it. That’s one of the ways we were able to figure out her identity.”

  Elisa moved to my side to examine the gash, seizing my elbow in a tight grip. Blood ran down my arm, following the same path as the clearly-visible burn mark.

  “Laith, come here,” she called to him.

  “Stay with him, caretaker,” Laith said through clenched teeth.

  Laith released my dad roughly and walked over to us. Dad sat heavily in the oversize arm chair and buried his face in his hands.

  “Look at this,” Elisa motioned to Laith, showing my arm to him.

  Laith inspected both wounds, gently pressing his finger against the skin. I hissed in reaction to the pain, but he continued his examination. “This looks like a burn.”

  I could see Jonathan’s face, twisted in determination and pain. I could feel the blaze of his touch—a touch that had left a mark that now stood out in a thick, swelling line, up the middle of my arm.

  I yanked free from Elisa’s hold and hugged myself, trying to the cover the mark with my hand, but I forgot about the blood.

  Ray tiptoed over and handed me a tissue, then hastily moved away from our group.

  “Thanks,” I muttered, placing it over the cut, wondering why I didn’t feel anything at the moment except for physical and mental fatigue. My body longed for somewhere to lie down. At the moment the soft carpeted floor was looking like a fantastic option.

  “Sarah?” Elisa questioned my silence.

  I looked into her eyes, not knowing how to answer other than to just tell the truth. All of it. So once again, I divulged everything that had gone down since leaving Ray’s house. I told them of my dismal effort to cast a demon from my dreams, and then the attack by Jonathan at the restaurant. Their attention shifted to Aaron as the story ended with his rescue of me at the library. I even told them of Benjamin’s possession that occurred before we left camping.

  Laith flicked a glance towards Aaron, nodding his appreciation. Aaron returned the gesture.

  “So the damage has been extensive.” Laith combed his fingers t
hrough his dark hair.

  Elisa clicked her tongue, but compassion filled her eyes. “No wonder you look like you could drop at any moment. Why haven’t you been wearing the dreamcatcher I gave you?”

  I had totally forgotten about her gift. I opened my mouth to respond, but when all I could do was shake my head, she sighed. “I’ll be right back with a bandage.”

  I watched her go, barely aware that the conversation between Laith and my dad had resumed. I forced myself to concentrate on what they were saying.

  “But it’s not enough,” Laith said through clenched teeth, standing over my father as he sat in his chair. “Did you see the mark on her arm? You weren’t there when that thing attacked us last night. They have obviously found her. Soon enough an even greater force will come for her. She’s not safe.”

  “Do I get any say in this?”

  My question was met with silence. I tried to control the anger that burned within my chest. Obviously, to them I didn’t need to be in this discussion—they would prefer I be a silent third-party witness to my own life.

  Elisa returned with a wash rag and bandage. Taking my arm, she reexamined the wounds. “The burn mark will go away. It is not real.”

  I scoffed. “How is it not real?”

  “Your mind made the burn real. Watch.” She bent over my arm and whispered, “Be gone.”

  I yanked my arm away and stared in amazement when the mark smoothed out, then disappeared completely. “Did—did you see that, Dad?” But he wouldn’t look at me, or at my miraculous healing.

  Taking my hand, Elisa expertly cleaned and wrapped my arm. “Alexander, you cannot take her. You cannot keep hiding her. You’ve grown weak. Too weak, and you age now. You’re clearly no longer her Guardian.”

  “I am her father. Who will be her Guardian, if not me? Darius? The two of you? You’ll only lead her to her death.”

  Elisa just shook her head. Frustration pulled at her features.

  A slamming door paused all conversation, then… “Ray!” a frantic voice called from the front foyer. “Ray, they’ve been attacked! I found the camp site.”

  Laith muttered a curse.

  “Ray!” Darius ran into the library and instantly froze. He was even more handsome than I remembered—only a day before. Thank goodness his shirt was on.

  His sight flashed about the room, doing an immediate survey of the occupants. When his gaze fell upon me, relief flickered in his eyes. Confused, I looked to my father and watched as the color drained from his face. He slouched even further in his chair.

  Darius strode towards Dad, fists clenched. “You son of a—”

  “Darius, calm down.” Laith stepped within the line of fire, intercepting the assault. “Believe me, we all understand your frustration.”

  “Frustration?” Darius’s voice boomed. “You think that’s what this is? Why didn’t you tell me she was here? How long have you known?”

  Laith raised his hands in surrender. “We just found out early this morning.”

  “You lie,” Darius said.

  “You know I don’t. We originally suspected she was being hunted by the other side. We had no clue she was anything other than a target.”

  Darius scoffed. “You’re telling me you didn’t see it? Look at her.” He gestured at me with a wave of his hand. “I knew who she was the moment I laid eyes on her.”

  “We are ashamed we didn’t see it, brother.”

  “Brother?” I asked, even more confused than ever.

  “They’re not brothers,” Dad growled, back to his normal self. “When did you meet my daughter?” he asked Darius.

  Darius glared at him. “Yesterday. She came by to speak to Dr. Stevens.” Turning to Laith, “We are running out of time. She needs to come with me. We need to get her to the compound.”

  Laith nodded in agreement.

  “I don’t understand. Why must I go with this guy?” I asked, looking to my friends. “I don’t even know him.”

  “She’s not going anywhere with you or with that man.” My dad stood, heading toward the door. “I’ve kept her safe all these years. I can do it again. She’s coming with me.” He stated his position loudly, waiting for me, but I stayed in place.

  “I think you’re forgetting one important factor here.” Aaron’s gentle voice interjected into the conversation. I had almost forgotten he was there.

  “And what is that, Caretaker?” my father hissed menacingly, but it didn’t seem to faze Aaron.

  “Sarah hasn’t accepted the calling yet,” he stated calmly, catching my attention.

  Apparently, he was the only one in this room to realize that I should have an active part in this decision—that I should be the final vote. I was thankful for him and for that reminder.

  “There is no calling!” Dad roared, interrupting my thoughts and provoking me into action.

  “Stop it, Dad! That’s enough,” I shouted over him, capturing the attention of the room. “If what they are saying is true, then you have lied to me. All of my life, you have lied to me. About me, about my mother. Everything! And I’m tired of it.”

  His face grew an awful shade of red, but I disregarded it.

  I turned on my heel and walked over to where Ray stood, silently watching from the safety of the furthest wall. His worried expression deepened as I stomped over to him.

  “The night of Elisa’s birthday. You told a story about the Heralds, did you not?”

  Ray nodded, a slight lift to the corner of his lips.

  “No,” Dad snarled, but Aaron put out a hand to stop him.

  “You said that if someone was able to find the Heralds they could ask them what their true destiny is, correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “And the Heralds would have to answer, right?”

  “Yes,” he confirmed.

  Leaving Ray, I went to stand in front of Laith and Elisa. “Then, my friends, please tell me: who am I, and what is my destiny?”

  Elisa smiled her approval. Then unexpectedly, she went rigid, and her eyes went blank. Laith took a defensive stance in front of her. He glared at me, at everyone in the room, daring any of us to attack. I shrank back a few steps, but he still didn’t relax his aggressive position.

  Elisa spoke, her voice strong and not her own.

  “While most fortunes sway and bend with their owner’s elections and experiences, your destiny was set before the day of your conception. At last, the truth you seek is brought to light, for you were not meant to be veiled. No longer will you be concealed. You are Ava Matthias. You are my gift. My arm of defense. My angel among mortals. You are mankind’s deliverer, their liberator, their strength. You are my Defender.

  “As your mother before, you belong to a realm singular from the one you’ve been forcefully confined to. Held in ignorance of your importance, your absence has been felt in both realms. The scale has lost its balance, and therefore, must be reset. But be warned: a dark power awaits you. Unrestrained, it has been allowed to grow and thrive. You must accept your new Guardian, for he has been long awaiting your arrival. Train, for there is much to learn. Fulfill the destiny that is rightfully yours to command.”

  Her body swayed, and then Elisa grasped Laith by the shoulder. He gathered her in his arms, concern clearly written upon his features.

  Elisa nodded. “I’m fine,” she murmured. Then turning to me she asked, “Are you okay?”

  I almost laughed. Under normal circumstances, such an unpretentious question could have been easily answered or even blown off, but now I felt the weight of her query pushing on me in a rather uncomfortable manner.

  “Don’t you see, Sarah?” Darius demanded, interrupting my thoughts. “You are the Defender. It’s you who must replace the once-great Rachel Matthias. We will teach you everything you need to know. I can show you your path, but you must come with us.”

  I felt my cheeks grow hot under his scrutiny. No, I didn’t see. I didn’t see anything except for my fury. I had been lied to. I had been cheated. Con
signed to a life that I had no say in. That I had no control over.

  I swallowed hard and tried to check the level of my voice. Ignoring the irritating man, I turned to Laith. “So, what you’re telling me is that, once again, my life has been decided for me?”

  Laith hesitated. He seemed to sense something dangerous building within me because it was he who stepped back this time. “No—”

  “That, once again, I have no choice in the matter?”

  “Sarah, you don’t—”

  “I am sick and tired of being told what to do. If you truly are my friends, then you will understand; and furthermore, you will respect my decision. This is my life and my choice. And you…” I turned to my father, pointing straight at him. I could feel the hairs stand on the back of my neck as my body shook. “I don’t ever want to see you again.”

  Darius blocked my path from the room. “Get out of my way.” I could feel the intensity of my anger building within, ready to explode.

  “You need to come—”

  “Darius.” Aaron appeared just beside him. “You cannot stop her from leaving.”

  “The hell I can’t,” he growled, glaring at my caretaker.

  “It is God’s gift to his children that they receive the right to choose their path. It is not for you to make this decision for her.”

  “But—”

  Aaron placed a hand on Darius’s shoulder. Darius grimaced at the touch.

  “You cannot stop her from leaving. No one can,” Aaron commanded.

  Aaron was the only one to stick up for me, to make me feel as if my opinion mattered. I paused before passing him.

  “I’m sorry, Aaron,” I whispered, casting a sideways glance his direction.

  “This decision must be yours to make. Choose wisely and know I’ll always be there when you need me. All you have to do is ask.”

  My caretaker. I nodded once, not meeting his eyes.

  “I’ll see you soon, Sarah,” Darius promised.

  I spun on my heel. “I don’t even know who you are! Why do you keep saying that? You will never see me again.” Then I stormed from the house.