Heart Trouble

by Jae

  “Like not going to college to become a lawyer or a doctor,” Hope said.

  “Exactly. Or not marrying Dariush the engineer just because my entire family thinks he’s a perfect match for me.”

  Hope could imagine how hard it might have been at times to stand her ground instead of going along with what her family wanted. Her respect for this gentle yet strong woman grew.

  “And now, instead of my parents, our link kind of picked a partner for me,” Laleh continued. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it chose wrong. It feels very, very right. But it’s still…”

  When she fell silent, Hope held back a sigh. “I get it.”

  “You do?”

  “Of course. Just because I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean I set out to…” She paused, no longer sure how she had intended to finish that sentence. To do what? Fall in love with you? “…get involved with you.”

  “What?” Laleh asked. Her tone and the vibe coming through the link indicated that she was teasing. “You mean you didn’t want me from the very first moment you laid eyes on me?”

  “Now who’s the modest one, hm? But I do admit the first time I saw you, I did have a strong desire to put my hands on your chest,” Hope said. “For compressions.”

  Laleh chuckled.

  Hope was glad that she could laugh about it now. She still regretted letting her see the video of her resuscitation. “Listen,” she finally said. “I get why you’d feel that way. I wish there was a way to test where your feelings are coming from—you or me.”

  “I racked my brain for days, but I don’t think there is. Maybe I should stop thinking about it and just go with the flow.”

  Hope gave a noncommittal hum of agreement, but she wasn’t happy with the situation either. What if Laleh woke up one day and decided that these feelings weren’t hers so she should ignore them? Or what if their link weakened over time? Would Laleh’s feelings for her disappear along with it?

  She rubbed her tired eyes, knowing she wouldn’t get any answers anytime soon. “I think I should go to bed. I’m really beat.”

  “Are you okay?” Laleh asked.

  The I’m fine was already on the tip of her tongue, but she knew exactly what Laleh’s answer to that would be: no faking it. “I’m struggling a little with this too. Maybe we’re both overthinking things.”

  “Maybe.”

  They both went quiet.

  “I guess I’ll let you get some rest now,” Laleh said. “Sleep well.”

  “Thanks. And you have a great day at work.” About to press the disconnect button, Hope decided that she didn’t want to end their conversation this way. She hated this sense of unrest that she felt through their link. “Laleh?” she called out quickly, before Laleh could hang up.

  “Yes?”

  “I…I look forward to seeing you on Wednesday.” It was as much an admission of missing her as she could allow herself.

  Instantly, a glow of happiness permeated their link, and Hope could almost see the smile on Laleh’s face. Having the power to make Laleh happy with only a few words was wonderful—and scary.

  “Me too,” Laleh said softly. “Very much so. I…I miss you.”

  Hope stopped breathing for several seconds. If there had ever been a question of who was the more courageous of them, it was answered now. She gave herself a mental kick. Come on. Say it. “Um, yeah, me too.” How eloquent. Good thing she was a doctor, not a poet.

  But the warm feelings drifting through the link revealed that Laleh didn’t need poetic words. She could probably feel how much Hope meant what she’d said.

  After a minute of silence, Laleh cleared her throat. “See you Wednesday.”

  “Until Wednesday.”

  Neither hung up, though.

  Hope chuckled. “You’re going to be late to work.”

  “Yes. Which is really bad if your boss can threaten you with posting embarrassing childhood photos of you on Facebook.”

  “Oh, come on. I bet you were cute as hell.”

  “Charmer.” Laleh sighed. “But I really have to go.”

  They said good-bye again, and this time, they ended the call. Hope put the phone down and closed her eyes, a hint of a smile still on her lips. Wednesday couldn’t come fast enough.

  * * *

  Laleh was early. Very early. After leaving the restaurant, she had driven straight to the hospital, not wanting to miss a minute with Hope. She had to smile at herself. Jeez, she was behaving like a smitten teenager. But, honestly, she didn’t care. The giddiness at the thought of seeing Hope felt too good. As she entered the cafeteria, it was barely seven.

  Of course, Hope wasn’t there yet.

  She got herself a coffee and bought a cheese sandwich at the food counter, in case Hope hadn’t eaten yet. Just as she had settled in at one of the tables, footsteps paused next to her and someone let out a low whistle.

  “Well, hello,” a sultry voice drawled. “The view in here just got a lot better.”

  Laleh looked up from her coffee.

  Jordan stood in front of her, a tray in her hands. Her dark eyes twinkled, and she flashed Laleh a smile. “Did you miss me, or is it the stellar coffee that brought you back?”

  “Um, I…” Laleh’s gaze went to the door. “I’m meeting Hope.”

  If Jordan was surprised, she hid it well. She probably didn’t think anything of it; after all, Laleh had met her for coffee in the cafeteria too. Jordan glanced at the large clock on the wall. “She just started her shift.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m a little early.”

  “May I join you while you wait?”

  “Of course.”

  Jordan set down her tray and folded her tall body onto the plastic chair across from her.

  Laleh eyed the bacon burger on Jordan’s plate. “It always amazes me what kind of food hospital cafeterias serve.”

  “Yeah. This one comes with a little card. Once you’ve got it stamped ten times, you get a free appointment in the cardiac cath lab.” With these words, she picked up the burger, grinned unrepentantly, and took a big bite.

  Laleh laughed and picked the olives from Hope’s cheese sandwich.

  “So,” Jordan said once she had swallowed her bite of burger, “what’s up with you and Ms. Tall, Dark, and Obtuse?”

  Laleh nearly spat a mouthful of olives across the table. “She’s not obtuse.” It was better to focus on that part of what Jordan had said instead of answering her question.

  “Well, she must have done something stupid, or she wouldn’t have had to send you flowers last month.”

  Heat shot up Laleh’s neck. “She told you about that?”

  “Not the details or who the flowers were for, but judging from the lovely blush you’re sporting, I guessed correctly. They were for you, weren’t they?”

  She had practically admitted as much, so Laleh nodded.

  “So?” Jordan picked the sesame seeds from her burger bun. “What did she do?”

  Willing her blush to recede, Laleh looked her in the eyes. “That’s between me and her.”

  “Ooh. Spunky and loyal. I like that in a woman.”

  “You know, Jordan,” Laleh said, still holding her gaze, “if you weren’t so genuinely nice, that pathological flirting would be seriously annoying.”

  Jordan stared at her as if she was the first woman who had ever told her so; then a huge smile stretched across her face.

  She said something, but Laleh didn’t catch what it was, because her Hope-dar started buzzing, telling her that Hope had entered the cafeteria. She looked up.

  The hum of conversations and the clanking of cups and plates around her seemed to fade as their gazes met across the still-busy cafeteria.

  Wow. How on earth did she make those not exactly figure-flattering scrubs look so good? They were the same shade as her eyes, and Laleh remembered noticing that when she’d first met Hope, right after waking up in the emergency department. Did patients after resuscitations usually notice such details, or had a pa
rt of her been fascinated by Hope even back then, before either of them had known about the bond between them?

  She stopped thinking about it as Hope strode toward her.

  * * *

  Hope stopped at the entrance to the cafeteria. She had rushed up the stairs to the cafeteria, not bothering to wait for the elevator, as soon as she’d gone over the list of patients with her colleague Tom. It hadn’t taken them long, so she was early, but she could sense that Laleh was already here.

  The cafeteria was still busy. It looked as if half of the hospital’s employees wanted to get a bite to eat before the cafeteria closed. But she didn’t need to look around to find Laleh. Their gazes met as if magnetized.

  The cafeteria’s overhead light glinted off Laleh’s shiny black hair, which fell freely onto her back. Instantly, Hope wanted to march over, bury her fingers in those gleaming strands, and guide Laleh’s lips to hers in a passionate hello.

  But, of course, she couldn’t do that here, where half of the nurses and physicians in the room knew her. Keeping work and her private life separate had always been her cast-iron rule. Besides, Hope had never liked public displays of affection anyway.

  When she finally managed to wrench her gaze away, she realized that Laleh wasn’t alone. Jordan was sitting across from her. She was leaning forward, one forearm on the table. Her toothpaste-ad-white teeth flashed against her dark skin as she smiled at Laleh.

  God, couldn’t Jordan stop flirting even for a second?

  She knew it wasn’t fair of her to judge her friend, but she couldn’t help it. Jordan had asked Laleh out the first time she’d met her, and knowing her, she might be trying her luck again at this very moment. And there was not a damn thing Hope could do to stop it.

  Oh, come on. She’ll shoot her down, just like the last time. She really needed to have some trust in Laleh, even if it didn’t come naturally to her.

  Sighing, she walked over, pulled up a chair to the small table, and eased herself down between Jordan and Laleh. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” Laleh answered.

  If Jordan said anything, Hope didn’t hear it. She got lost in Laleh’s eyes for a moment and had to tear herself away to greet Jordan, who had abandoned a half-eaten burger to watch them.

  Laleh slid over a small plate with a cheese sandwich.

  “For me?” Hope asked.

  Laleh nodded. “I picked off the—”

  “Olives,” Hope finished.

  They smiled at each other.

  Hope gripped the edge of the table so she wouldn’t reach out and touch Laleh’s hand. When had she become so touchy-feely?

  Jordan looked from Hope to Laleh and back. “Guys?” Again that back-and-forth glance. “What’s going on?”

  Quickly, Hope picked up the sandwich and took a big bite. “Going on?” she mumbled with what she hoped was her most innocent expression.

  “Yeah. What’s with finishing each other’s sentences and looking at each other like two sex addicts who’re about to fall off the wagon?”

  A bit of bread nearly went down the wrong pipe. “Jordan!”

  “What? Just stating the facts. The temperature in here went up several degrees the moment you walked in.”

  Hope shrugged and purposefully didn’t look in Laleh’s direction so she wouldn’t give them away. She wasn’t ashamed of their relationship, but she wasn’t sure how comfortable Laleh felt with telling people about them, so she didn’t want to out them—out Laleh—without asking her first. “Must be because I’m hot.”

  Jordan snorted.

  “She is,” Laleh said quietly.

  Hope couldn’t tell whose jaw was hanging lower—hers or Jordan’s. They both gaped at Laleh.

  Slowly, a huge grin replaced Jordan’s baffled expression. She pounded the table with one fist, making her cutlery rattle. “I knew it!” She backhanded Hope across the shoulder. “You dog! So you two…?”

  “If you dare make a lewd gesture, I’m gonna stab you with your own fork,” Hope said.

  “I wasn’t about to.” Jordan’s grin faded and then returned full-force as she looked across the table at Laleh. “But you know, if you wanted to try it with a woman, you could have had me.”

  Hope let out a low growl like a bear whose mate was threatened.

  Warm fingers slid over her hand, which had clenched into a fist on the table. She looked down at the slender hand, then up into Laleh’s face. The touch was as reassuring and soothing as the expression in her eyes and the calm drifting through their link.

  “I could have,” Laleh said. With a slight wink, she added, “But apparently, my heart had other ideas.”

  Jordan laughed. “Yeah. It landed you right on her treatment table.” She stood and picked up her tray with the remainders of the burger that must have gone cold by now. “You know what? I think I’m gonna leave you two lovebirds alone now.”

  As if on cue, Hope’s pager started to vibrate at her hip. She looked down at the display. Dammit. They had an incoming trauma in the ER. Now she really wanted to stab someone with Jordan’s fork. Couldn’t she get even one minute alone with Laleh?

  “I’m sorry. I need to go.”

  Laleh got up when she did. Her gaze was warm, like a caress. “It’s okay. Go save some lives.”

  They stood separated by a plastic chair. Should she wave and walk away, let everyone else in the room think they were just acquaintances? Or maybe give her a quick, one-armed hug?

  Laleh stood without moving, but the longing pulsing through their link was unmistakable.

  To hell with it. Let the nurses gossip. She didn’t care. She shoved the plastic chair out of the way, cradled Laleh’s face between her palms, and gazed into her eyes, pausing to make sure Laleh was comfortable kissing her in this room full of people.

  As if in response to her silent question, Laleh leaned forward.

  Their mouths met in a tender kiss, reconnecting.

  The tension fled Hope’s shoulders, and she closed her eyes for a moment. The weight of the pager on her hip reminded her that she couldn’t linger. Slowly, she pulled away and took several steps backward so she could keep looking at Laleh for a little longer.

  Laleh lifted a hand in a silent good-bye.

  At the door, she forced herself to turn around.

  Jordan was waiting for her. She pointed at Hope’s pager. “Surgical case?”

  “Possibly.”

  “Then I’ll head downstairs with you.”

  They walked to the elevator together.

  Hope waited, peering over at Jordan, but the expected comment didn’t come. “What? No teasing?”

  Jordan stepped into the elevator, leaned one hip against the metal handrail, and regarded Hope with a grin. “I have a feeling I might end up on the wrong side of a treatment table if I bug you too much about this. You’re pretty serious about her, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.” Hope’s gut clenched at the admission. “What we have…it’s special.” For a moment, she thought about telling Jordan just how special their connection was, but then she decided against it. What if Jordan didn’t believe her? She sure as hell wouldn’t if she hadn’t experienced it for herself. “So thanks for cutting out the teasing,” she said instead.

  “No thanks necessary.” Jordan’s rakish grin was back. “I’m counting on hooking up with the bridesmaids at your wedding.”

  “Wedding?” Hope stared at her. “It’s not… We haven’t…” She shook her head. “You know I’ve never been the marrying kind.”

  “Not yet,” Jordan said and stepped past her out of the elevator.

  CHAPTER 23

  When they got out of the car at the edge of the area the studio had roped off, Laleh was practically bouncing with excitement. “I can’t wait to see Crash do her stunt!”

  Hope grinned over at her. She loved that Laleh wasn’t the stoic kind but still had a childlike enthusiasm for life. She’d had to practically promise her colleague Tom a kidney so he would swap shifts with her, but it was worth
it. It wasn’t only the car stunt she didn’t want to miss; spending time with Laleh and seeing her so excited was what really motivated her.

  Firefighters in protective gear stood together at the side of the road.

  Laleh gestured toward them. “Do you think they’ll set the car on fire or make it explode?”

  “I have no idea how this works,” Hope said. “You’re the movie buff in the…” She snapped her mouth shut before she could add, Family.

  If Laleh noticed her almost slip, she didn’t say so. Maybe she was distracted when they stopped at the barricade that cordoned off the set. She looked like a sugar addict in a chocolate museum.

  Too cute. She would have to get her a backstage pass for one of the big film studios for her birthday. The thought gave her pause. In past relationships, she had never planned ahead like this, never taking it for granted that she would still be with her girlfriend when the next birthday, Valentine’s Day, or Christmas came around. And she realized something else: she didn’t even know when Laleh’s birthday was. They had jumped into this relationship without the usual getting-to-know-you dates. Even their friendship had started in a very unconventional way.

  She told herself it didn’t matter; she’d find out all these details sooner or later if they stayed together. But suddenly, she wanted…needed to know. “When’s your birthday?” she asked while they waited for Jill to join them.

  “June twenty-third. Why?”

  Hope shrugged. “Just passing the time.”

  Laleh nudged her with an affectionate smile, but before she could say anything, a redhead walked toward them, waving.

  After a moment, Hope recognized Jill Corrigan from the movies she’d seen her in.

  Laleh waved back and went to hug her friend.

  The excitement vibrating through their link was replaced with nervousness as she stepped back and gestured. “Hope, this is my friend Jill. Jill, this is Hope, my…um…girlfriend.” Red splotches formed on her cheeks.

  She hoped Laleh could sense how much she enjoyed being introduced like that. Hope stepped forward and shook Jill’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Thanks for letting us visit the set. I’m not normally one to have a fangirl moment, but I recently saw you in Shaken to the Core, and you were great. Finally someone who knows how to portray a doctor.” God, it seemed Laleh’s nervousness was rubbing off on her. Now she was babbling. But she couldn’t stop herself from adding, “You look different on camera.”