Heart Trouble

by Jae

  Laleh smiled. Beneath that scientific attitude hid a big softie. She liked that about her. Since Hope’s childhood had ended abruptly when her mother had died, Laleh was glad to bring small joys back into her life. She took the first string of lights from the box. “Come on. Make yourself useful.”

  Within fifteen minutes, it became obvious that neither had ever decorated a tree. The lights didn’t reach all the way to the bottom because they’d used too many at the top. But it didn’t matter. Laleh enjoyed this time with Hope too much to care.

  As they rounded the tree, looking for places to hang the red glass baubles, their bodies kept brushing against each other. Repeatedly, their hands touched as they reached for the same branch. Each time, Laleh’s breath caught. She halfway expected the lights to glow from the electricity between them. It was a minor miracle that she hadn’t dropped any of the ornaments.

  While Laleh hung a large bauble at chest height, Hope reached over her shoulder and stretched to reach one of the branches higher up. For a moment, her breasts pressed against Laleh’s back and Hope’s body heat filtered through the layers of clothing separating their skin.

  Laleh stopped breathing.

  Her body trembled with the need to press closer. Was this what attraction was supposed to feel like—this hyperawareness of Hope, the itch to run her hands through Hope’s disheveled hair, the almost animalistic urge to taste her skin? Whatever she’d felt for her two former boyfriends, it hadn’t been anything like this. Was it because she’d harbored a secret attraction to women all along and had only dated men because it had been expected of her?

  Hope stepped back, breaking the contact between their bodies, and turned toward Laleh. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to crowd you.”

  “It’s okay,” Laleh said, trying not to show how breathless Hope’s proximity made her.

  “Really?” Hope studied her with an intense look. “Because I’m getting kind of mixed feelings from you.”

  Once again, Laleh was reminded of how different this relationship was—and not just because Hope was a woman. With the link between them, neither of them could hide her feelings. “Not about you. I’m just thinking a lot, about myself and why I never felt like this before.”

  “Okay.” Hope drew out the word, seeming to consider Laleh’s reply. “But if I do anything that makes you even the slightest bit uncomfortable—”

  “You won’t. Besides, you’d be the first to know.”

  “Oh, so if I did something like this”—Hope clipped the last bauble to the tree, took a step closer, and slid her hand onto Laleh’s hip—“and you didn’t like it, you’d start singing a song like Please Don’t Touch in your mind?”

  Hope’s touch warmed her skin even through the thick fabric of her jeans. “I’m not singing.”

  “No? How about now?” Hope placed her other hand on Laleh too and gently tugged her closer by her hips.

  Hope’s body heat seemed to draw her in. Laleh leaned forward, closing the remaining distance between them, until their bodies touched all along their lengths. Hope’s scent and her very presence engulfed her in a bubble that shut out the rest of the world. Laleh’s skin came alive, as if her every pore wanted to take in as much of Hope as she could.

  Her father’s words came back to her. Yes. Something magical was definitely happening. She just didn’t have a word for it yet.

  “Still no singing?” Hope sounded as breathless as Laleh felt.

  Laleh shook her head, unsure if her vocal cords would work.

  Slowly, Hope trailed her hands up Laleh’s back.

  Goose bumps tingled along her skin, all the way down to her toes. A groan escaped her as Hope slid her fingers beneath her hair, which she’d left down today, and smoothed her thumbs along the nape of her neck.

  A shudder racked Laleh. She wound her arms around Hope’s neck to keep her balance. Jeez, who knew her neck was such an erogenous zone?

  “And now?” Hope whispered.

  “What?”

  “No singing?” Her warm breath washed over Laleh’s lips, their faces now only an inch or two apart.

  Okay, it was definitely time to stop talking about singing—or, even better, to stop talking altogether. Laleh pulled Hope’s head down and kissed her. A part of her had wondered if kissing Hope would always feel as exciting and intense as it had last night. She instantly got her answer: a resounding yes. Her body prickled everywhere as their tongues glided over each other and Hope’s breasts pressed against hers.

  Hot waves of pleasure swept through her from their link.

  With a gasp, Laleh tore her mouth away. But instead of backing away as reason dictated, she bent her head and touched her lips to the warm hollow where Hope’s neck met her shoulder. How was it that she’d never before noticed how sexy that spot was on a woman? Carefully, guided by an instinct she didn’t fully understand, she touched it with her tongue.

  Hope groaned. Goose bumps formed beneath Laleh’s lips, and Hope’s fingers tightened against the back of her head. “Laleh…”

  The huskiness of her voice sent shivers through Laleh. She had no idea what Hope was pleading for, but God, she wanted to find out. You wanted to go slow, remember? This was crazy. Completely crazy. But insanity had never felt so good.

  She forced herself to pull back and step away from Hope.

  The sight of Hope made her want to dive back into her arms and continue where she’d left off. Hope’s cheeks were flushed, her hair disheveled, and her pupils so dilated that only thin ice-blue rings remained of her irises.

  “This is crazy,” Hope whispered, echoing what Laleh had just thought. “You barely touch me, and I…” She shook her head.

  Laleh knew exactly how she felt—and not just because she could sense Hope’s desire through their link.

  The alarm she’d set on her cell phone went off. “Oh.” With trembling fingers, she withdrew it from her back pocket and shut it off. “I have to go.”

  “Work?” Hope asked, her voice even huskier than normal.

  “Yes. Are you working today too?”

  “Yeah. I’m covering the night shift.”

  Laleh stepped toward her and wrapped both arms around her waist. “Will you be okay?”

  For a moment, confusion filtered through their link. “Oh, you mean because it’s the first shift after the little girl…?”

  Laleh nodded, letting her cheek brush over Hope’s shoulder.

  “I’m fine,” Hope said, and this time, she wasn’t faking it.

  They stood with their arms around each other for a few seconds longer, basking in the warmth filtering through their connection.

  Come on. Move. If she was late for work, her aunt would ask her where she’d been, and Laleh didn’t want to open that can of worms just yet. She kissed the warm shoulder beneath her cheek through the fabric of Hope’s shirt before letting go and walking away.

  When she turned at the door, Hope’s gaze rested on her.

  It was so tempting to go back for one more kiss, but Laleh knew she’d never leave if she gave in to that urge. “Will you call me after your shift? I want to tuck you in, even if it’s over the phone.”

  A grin curled Hope’s lips. “Is that code for wanting to have phone sex?”

  Heat shot into Laleh’s cheeks, but she couldn’t help smiling. “You wish!”

  “Actually…” Hope’s grin broadened. “Yes.”

  They looked at each other. The smoldering passion between them dimmed after a moment and turned into the warm glow of affection. Or was it more than that already?

  Laleh puzzled over that question all the way to her car but then pushed it away. Only when she turned the key in the ignition did she realize that she hadn’t even looked at the fully decorated Christmas tree.

  Who knew a woman could be so distracting?

  * * *

  When Laleh arrived, the restaurant was full to capacity—so full that she nearly missed the couple at one of the tables for two.

  Jill caught her sl
eeve before she could pass them by on her way to the kitchen. “Hey, what kind of service is this? Doesn’t your old friend get a hug?”

  Laleh obediently hugged her, then Crash. “You’re not old.”

  “Ooh.” Jill lowered her voice to a whisper. “One night with Hope and you already know what to say to a woman!”

  “Ssh!” Laleh looked around. Luckily, the customers to the left and right seemed to be immersed in the menu or their conversations and weren’t paying them any attention. “I didn’t spend the night with her,” she whispered.

  “No? One of our guests drank a little too much, and when I drove her home, I passed by your apartment. Your car wasn’t there, and it was after one, so I assumed…” Jill waggled her eyebrows.

  Laleh vehemently shook her head. “I think I came home at a quarter past one.”

  “So you…talked?” Jill asked.

  Among other things. Her mind flashed back to the kisses they’d shared while fireworks had gone off around them—and inside of them.

  Jill laughed. “Must have been an interesting conversation. You’re blushing.”

  “Don’t tease her,” Crash said. “This is new for her.”

  For a tough stuntwoman, she could be amazingly sweet. Laleh sent her a grateful look.

  Jill sobered, reached over, and squeezed Laleh’s hand. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

  “You didn’t. It’s just…” Laleh’s gaze darted left and right. She wasn’t sure whether Jill had told Crash about her link to Hope, but she trusted them both, so she decided to talk openly. “With everything I’ve told you about yesterday, this is all pretty overwhelming.”

  “I can imagine,” Jill said. “So, what did Hope say?”

  Laleh’s cheeks heated again. “She doesn’t have any answers either, but she agreed to take things slowly.”

  “So it’s official? You and she…” Jill looked left and right and then whispered, “You’re an item now?”

  Hearing it spoken aloud for the first time took Laleh’s breath away. She was in a relationship with a woman. With Hope. Wow. Up to now, it had been unspoken, something just between her and Hope. But, of course, it couldn’t stay that way. “Yes.” Saying it out loud made her happy and nervous all at the same time.

  The legs of Jill’s chair scraped across the floor as she stood and engulfed her in another hug. “I’m so happy for you. Now I really want to meet her.”

  “Now that Jill and I are both working here in LA, on the same TV show even, we could set something up,” Crash said. “Maybe you and Hope could come watch me do a stunt.”

  People at the neighboring tables started to look over.

  Gently, Laleh freed herself of the embrace. “I’d love that. But now I’d better get to work.” She glanced at Jill’s nearly empty glass. “I’ll get you another doogh.”

  When she entered the kitchen, her aunt looked up from the grill, where several kabobs and tomatoes were sizzling. She came over and greeted Laleh with kisses to both cheeks. “What was that all about?” Somehow, she always seemed to know what happened in every part of the restaurant, no matter how busy she was in the kitchen.

  Laleh turned toward the fridge to take out the carbonated yogurt drink and to hide her face. “Nothing. Jill and I haven’t seen each other in a while. She and Crash…Kristine are both working on a TV show, so that takes up a lot of their time.” She hated lying to her aunt, who had raised her as much as her parents, but she wasn’t ready to talk about what the hugs had really meant.

  Her aunt turned the skewers to grill the meat from the other side. For a minute, only the sizzling of the kabobs and the hum of the dishwasher filled the kitchen. “Your friends…” She pointed toward the swinging doors leading to the restaurant. “They’re a couple, aren’t they?”

  Laleh nearly dropped the glass of doogh she’d just poured. Her heartbeat tripled. “Um, yes.” She squared her shoulders. “Yes, they are.”

  She halfway expected her aunt to tsk, but Aunt Nasrin let out a vague “hm” and then focused on turning the tomatoes.

  Laleh waited for her to say something. Anything.

  Nothing came. No rebuke for being friends with lesbians. No curious questions about why she was hanging out with them. But, of course, no reassuring comment that showed Aunt Nasrin’s acceptance of lesbian couples either.

  Finally, her aunt looked up. “What?”

  “Nothing.” Laleh took the glass of doogh and pushed through the swinging doors, glad to escape the kitchen and her aunt’s gaze. The thought of one day having to stand in front of her family, announcing her relationship, made her break out in a sweat.

  She reminded herself of what she’d said to Hope: one step at a time. For now, she would allow herself to enjoy the growing bond between them and worry about the rest later.

  CHAPTER 22

  Hope flopped down onto the couch and listened to the sounds filtering through the phone. By now, she was familiar with Laleh’s morning routine, so she knew she was preparing tea. The soothing sounds almost made her drift off to sleep after her long shift.

  “Is it normal to work so many night shifts in a row?” Laleh asked.

  Hope opened her eyes and suppressed a yawn. “Well, some of my colleagues hate night shifts, especially those who have kids, so I often let them take the day shifts.”

  “That’s nice of you,” Laleh said. “It has to be pretty hard to have any kind of family life if you work nights and your spouse works days.”

  Which was exactly why she hadn’t seen Laleh all week. In the past, she had never minded the night shifts. In fact, many of the more interesting cases came in at night, so she had often volunteered to take those shifts. Back in November, when the schedule for January had been planned, she’d had no idea that she would be in a relationship by the beginning of the year.

  She lowered her phone from her ear for a moment and flicked through her calendar app. Next week didn’t look much better. “Hey, you’ve got Wednesdays off, right? Want to do something before I have to leave for my shift?”

  Laleh sighed. “I’d love to, but my aunt wants to go over the ordering processes with me. Knowing her, it’ll take most of the day. If I want to take over the restaurant at some point in the future, I need to take on more responsibility.”

  “That’s great.” She hoped it sounded halfway enthusiastic. Unlike Laleh’s parents, she wanted to be supportive of Laleh’s career, even if it meant not getting to see her.

  “It is, but I guess we won’t see each other for a while.”

  “Yeah. Looks like it.”

  They were both silent for a few moments.

  The same yearning she felt drifted through their link. It was a completely new experience for Hope. She and the last woman she’d dated often hadn’t seen each other for a week or two, which had never bothered Hope.

  With Laleh, it was different. Their daily phone conversations couldn’t replace seeing her…holding her…kissing her. She shook her head at herself. What a strange feeling it was to miss someone. In the past, she had never let herself get so close to anyone that she couldn’t move on if she had to, without much heartbreak if that person disappeared from her life, either for a while or for good. Missing Laleh after not having seen her for a few days was disturbing.

  She knew she should immerse herself in her work, but her brain wouldn’t stop trying to figure out ways to spend some time with Laleh. Maybe Laleh could come to the hospital and they could have coffee in the cafeteria, as she had done with Jordan back in October. But if she suggested that, wouldn’t she come across as incredibly needy? The thought made her cringe.

  “What is it?” Laleh asked.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I can feel you brooding over something. What is it?”

  Damn. There was no hiding from her. Hope swallowed her pride. “Um, well, I was wondering… Maybe after going over the ordering processes with your aunt… I can imagine that it might be pretty exhausting. Perhaps you could use a coffee af
terwards.”

  A burst of joy and amusement from Laleh hit her, instantly making her glad she had asked. Well, kind of asked.

  “True. So, do you have a place in mind for my well-deserved coffee break?”

  “Let me think.” Hope paused for effect, even though she knew she wasn’t fooling Laleh. “Hm, how about the hospital cafeteria? The coffee is awful, but the company more than makes up for it.”

  Laleh laughed. “You’re so modest.”

  “Oh, come on. You like my confidence.”

  “I do,” Laleh said, the laughter now gone from her tone.

  Hope soaked in the affection pulsing through their link. “So, how about Wednesday around seven thirty? That’ll give us half an hour before the cafeteria kicks us out because they’re closing.”

  “You’ve got a date.”

  A date… Hope smiled. Was it just her imagination, or was Laleh slowly getting used to the thought of dating a woman? Of course, telling her family was a whole other story. Would she ever be comfortable enough to do that?

  “You’re doing it again,” Laleh said.

  “Um, doing what?”

  “Thinking those dark, brooding thoughts.”

  What was she supposed to say now? How about the truth? No faking it, remember? “I was just wondering how you’re doing with all this. With…us.”

  A quiet sigh drifted through the phone. “I kind of go back and forth. When I’m with you or talk about you with Jill, it feels so…so normal.”

  So Laleh had told Jill about them? That was a start at least. “It is normal, Laleh. Just because we’re both women doesn’t make it—”

  “I know. That’s not what I meant. Well, not only what I meant. For me, dating men was the norm. Not that I dated all that much, but I always assumed I’d end up getting married, having kids…”

  You still can, Hope almost said but bit her lip. What are you doing? Marriage and children hadn’t even been a distant consideration in any of her relationships so far. It was scary how fast they were moving. She cleared her throat. “So, what did you mean?”

  “Sometimes, I can’t help wondering how much say I really had in all of this.” Laleh took several audible breaths. “You know, as someone who is both Persian and American, I struggled all my life to find my own identity instead of blindly going along with what my parents wanted for me.”