by Jen Andrews
She smiled at me. “Well, since Noah and I have been together for a few years now, I wanted to do something special for him on our honeymoon.”
Oh, this is for my brother’s benefit. “Okay, thanks for the visual.” I shuddered, not wanting to picture Noah sitting on a chair straddled by Jess.
He was my brother. I’d seen and heard him acting like a gross boy since I was adopted. I endured the burping and farting contests between him and my other brothers; the smelly gym socks, the whole nine yards.
Regardless of all the gross things I saw him do over the years, I loved him. I was glad Jess loved him enough to want to do things like this for him.
She slugged me lightly on the arm. “Just think, when you find someone, you will be well prepared because of it, so don’t complain.”
My mind immediately drifted to Andy, and I frowned.
“What’s with the look, Z?” Sasha questioned.
“I’m pretty sure I ran off the only guy who is ninety-nine percent perfect for me,” I stated miserably.
“You met a guy? Where? When? Zoey, we need to talk about this. Now!” Jess was beginning to throw a fit.
They each grabbed one of my arms and dragged me to a coffee shop down the street. When we bought our coffees and found a table to sit at, they forced me to speak.
I explained what all had happened with Andy since we met. I told them about our amazing connection. I told them how easy it was to talk to him, and how hard it was for either of us to be around each other without touching. I seriously could not keep my hands off him, and vice versa.
“Z, you said he’s ninety-nine percent perfect. What’s the one percent that is not perfect?” Sasha probed. “From what I’m hearing, this is a match made in heaven.”
“He works for my dad. That’s the problem.” I took a drink of my coffee and set the cup back down on the table.
Both of my friends were dumbfounded, not understanding why that was a problem. I hadn’t told them about Rob suing me, so I had to go back and explain all of that too.
“That dirty rat bastard!” Jess growled when I was finished telling them what happened. “I knew something happened, but Noah wouldn’t tell me anything. Zoey Lynn James,” she scolded. “You should have come to us. We would have been there for you, but you shut us out.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” I said regretfully. I felt like a terrible friend. “I wanted it to be over and done with, so I could forget about it.”
Yet, here it all was again, front and center, right where it didn’t need to be. Fuck, this whole freaking situation sucked. My emotions and thoughts were all over the place. I could not make a rational decision if I tried.
One thing I knew for certain, I wanted Andy. Badly. But I couldn’t have him. In just a few short days, he had flipped my already fucked up world upside down.
Sasha sat and listened the whole time I was talking without saying a word. Suddenly, she blurted out, “Let’s go find Rob and kick his ass!” causing Jess and I to burst out laughing.
I was grateful she lightened the mood. It did feel good to get the Rob saga out in the open, too. It felt like the weight was starting to lift a bit.
“What are you going to do about Andy, Z?” Sasha asked.
I shrugged. “There’s nothing I can do. I won’t go down that road again since he works for my dad. If I did date him, and it ended badly, it would be uncomfortable for Andy and everyone else at work. If he didn’t work there, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Tell your dad to fire him then,” Sasha said bluntly.
I frowned at her. “Very funny, Sash. He fits in perfectly at the shop with my dad and the boys. I’ll deal with it somehow.”
How long can I deal with it? It felt like my heart had literally dropped from my chest when he walked out this morning.
Why was he having this effect on me? I would never know, because I was never going to be anything other than friends with him. I couldn’t risk it…again.
We sat and talked about my upcoming vacation while we drank our coffees, and they decided to take a week off from work and go to Cabo with me. It was getting late, and I still needed to stop at the grocery store. I realized I forgot to turn my cell back on after class, so I pulled it out of my purse and powered it back up.
I had missed a few calls and had three new voicemails. I scrolled through the calls. There were two from Andy and one from Will. I listened to the messages. The first two were from Andy.
“Zoey, where are you? It’s getting late, and you didn’t tell anyone where you were going. I’m getting worried. Please call me, so I know you’re alright.”
The second message was similar.
“Zoey, it’s me again. Please call me when you get this. I don’t care how late it is.”
What the heck? Was something wrong at the store again?
My phone automatically advanced to the third message. It was from Will. He left it less than ten minutes before I turned on my phone.
“Hey, Zoey-girl, your boy Andy is worried about you. He thinks something is wrong. Please tell me you are not avoiding that sexy hunk’s calls. Honey, please call him a-sap. Love ya, baby girl.”
Jess and Sasha watched me impatiently as I listened to the messages. Once I listened to them, I told my friends what was going on, and they made me play one on speaker so they could hear Andy’s voice.
“Oh my,” Sasha said, resting her hand over her heart. “Would you listen to his accent?”
I think she literally swooned. I know I did every time I heard his voice.
When I showed them the picture he took of himself on my phone, she pretended to faint. I rolled my eyes at her and laughed. Freaking drama queen.
“Guess I’d better call him back,” I said.
“Maybe you should pull your head outta your ass too, while you’re at it,” Sasha muttered before she took a sip of her coffee. I flipped her off, and she smiled sweetly in return.
First, I sent a text to Will, letting him know where I was. When I called Andy, his phone barely made it through an entire ring before he answered.
“Zoey, where are you? Are you alright?”
“Hey,” I replied. “I’m fine. My phone was shut off while I was in class, and I just remembered to turn it back on. Sorry if I worried you.”
He sighed with relief. “Alright, I was feeling uneasy because of all the crap going on. Where are you?”
“I’m having coffee with my friends, Jess and Sasha, now, but I’m heading to the store to pick up a few groceries. Do you need me to get anything for you while I’m there?”
“I don’t need anything, but please be careful. It’s late. Will you call me when you get home, so I know you’re safe, please?”
I agreed, and we ended our call.
“I better get going, before he sends out the search party,” I said with a hint of sarcasm, yet secretly loving the fact that he cared enough to be worried about me.
“Z, don’t push him away,” Jess whispered when she hugged me goodbye.
Once I left the dance studio where my car was parked, I drove over to the store and found the items I needed. I decided to stroll down the alcohol aisle to see if anything tasty was on sale. It wasn’t on sale, but I picked up a bottle of Johnnie Walker and put it in my basket. I had taken a liking to it since Andy brought a bottle over. I paid for my groceries, and then headed toward my silent apartment.
After turning onto my street, I noticed my Chevelle sitting on a side street a few blocks from my apartment. Rob was sitting inside the car. Was he seriously waiting for me to come home? Fuck!
As soon as I drove past him, I heard the car start and the headlights came on. Shit.
Not taking my eyes off the road, I dug through my purse, found my cell, and called the closest person I could think of…Andy. I could have called Will or Justin, but Rob knew them, and they wouldn’t intimidate him as much as Andy would.
He answered his phone on the first ring again.
“C
an you meet me out in my parking space right now? Rob is following me. I’m almost home.” I tried not to sound scared, but I heard my own voice tremble with every word I spoke.
“I’m on my way outside right now. Stay on the phone with me until you get here. I swear I won’t let him hurt you, Zoey.”
I heard him shuffling around, most likely putting on his shoes. His door slammed and I heard him breathing as he went down his stairs. In the next few seconds, it sounded like he was jogging.
I glanced in the rearview mirror again, and Rob was still behind me, but a few hundred feet back.
“Andy, he’s still behind me.” Why was he following me? This is not good.
“Don’t worry, Beautiful. I’m right here waiting for you. Just keep moving. I can see you coming down the street. I’m not going anywhere,” he promised.
He had already opened the gate, just enough for me to drive my Audi through, so I pulled into my parking space. We hung up our phones, and he shut the gate behind me.
Andy opened my door for me and helped me out of the car. I wanted to fling myself into his arms and never let him go, but I didn’t… I couldn’t.
We were pulling my grocery bags out of the trunk, when I heard the Chevelle slowly approaching outside the fence. I caught the unmistakable whining sound of the gear drive in the motor Jason built for the car and the kick-ass exhaust system that Jeremy custom built with Flowmaster mufflers.
No other car in the world sounded as sweet as my Chevelle. I missed my car.
We waited to see what Rob was going to do, but fortunately, he sped off. There was no nasty confrontation like at the store over the weekend. Thank God.
“C’mon, let’s get upstairs,” Andy muttered. I knew he was mad.
Andy could be mad all he wanted, but I was livid, so I took out my cell and called Rob.
“What’s up, babe?” he asked arrogantly. “Did you miss me?”
What a douche. “Look, you piece of shit,” I growled into the phone. “You need to leave me the fuck alone, or I’m going to get a restraining order.”
He scoffed. “Whatever you say, babe,” he said and hung up on me. Wow.
Along with my purse, I carried a grocery bag upstairs as Andy carried the other two bags for me. We made it inside my apartment and set the bags on the kitchen counter. Saying nothing, we started putting everything away.
Andy pulled the Johnnie Walker out of the bag, took two glasses out of the cupboard, and poured us each a drink. I hopped onto the counter to sit, and he slid one of the drinks across the countertop to me.
After I downed it in one gulp, he poured me another. I swallowed the next one just as fast.
“Thank you for calling me when you noticed him, Zoey.”
He poured a third drink for me. Yep, I am beginning to feel pretty warm and brave now. Thank you, Johnnie Walker. I pulled off my jacket and tossed it onto the back of the barstool.
“Andy, about this morning,” I said quietly, knowing we needed to talk about the situation we found ourselves in. I owed him an explanation. “I’m sorry, and I need to explain what my issues are.”
He nodded in agreement. “Yes, I think you do.” He came to stand in front of me and took a long swallow of his drink.
While thinking of what I should say, I gulped down my third drink. I had no clue what to tell him. “I’m sorry. I’m having a hard time trying to figure out what to say and how to say it.” I held out my glass to him. “Can you pour me another one please?”
He took the bottle off the counter from behind him and poured me another. “Liquid courage?” he asked. I nodded, because I needed all the help I could get with this conversation. “I guess I don’t understand what the issue is, Zoey.”
I swallowed the last of my drink, and it burned all the way down. I put the glass down, and Andy rested his hands on the countertop on either side of my knees. He was standing so close, and he smelled so good. I could feel the heat and frustration that radiated off his body. I wanted to wrap my arms and legs around him and kiss him until I couldn’t feel anything but him. But I couldn’t…
Focus, Zoey. Focus.
“You work for my dad,” I blurted out. “He worked for my dad while we were together and after we split up,” I stated, pointing toward where Rob had just been outside.
Andy moved back a step and put his hands up defensively. “I’m not him, Zoey. I feel like you’re taking what he did out on me.”
That was not what I was trying to do. I shook my head.
“Please don’t think that. You are definitely nothing like him, and I know that. As I was saying, you work for my dad. What if we try this and it doesn’t work out between us? Where would that leave my dad and the shop? I cannot do that to him again. He could have lost everything he’d worked his whole life for…because of me and my shitty decisions.”
I hoped Andy understood why I was doing what I was doing.
“I should be going, then,” he spoke, devoid of emotion.
Oh, God, no. My stomach dropped, and every fiber of my body ached. “Andy, I’m sorry. Trust me that this is hurting me too, but we can only be friends.”
He appeared disappointed and shrugged his shoulders, without a doubt, giving up on us. “Okay, friends it is. It’s better than nothing.”
Andy turned and walked away from me. When he got to the front door, he stopped. “Goodnight, Zoey.” A second later, he was gone.
He was hurt, and I understood why. He must have felt like I was leading him on when I let him stay the night with me and he woke up with me draped over him. I would need to be careful when I was around him, or try to avoid him altogether. I hated it, but it would be better that way.
The four glasses of Johnnie Walker I had guzzled were kicking in. Andy left the rest of his on the countertop, so I picked it up and drank it too. Maybe at least I’ll sleep tonight.
When I was in bed, I pulled the covers to my chin and turned onto my side, so I was facing the back of the shop, and Andy’s apartment. My apartment was in a much older building, built in the early twenties. It had several massive windows around the entire upper floor of the building. The windows were each the size of double doors and easily seven feet tall, so I had an open view of the shop and apartment next door.
Lying there staring out the window, I could see the lights on at Andy’s. Occasionally, I would see him walk by one of his windows, and I wondered if he was feeling as horrible as I was.
Unable to sleep, I got up and sat in the antique chair facing one of the windows that overlooked the courtyard below. I rested my feet on the edge of the wide windowsill. I used to love to sit in the chair and read, but I hadn’t done it in ages.
Andy’s door swung open and he walked out of his apartment onto the landing at the top of his stairs. He leaned on the railing with his arms folded across his broad chest, facing me. The floodlights on the back of the shop were bright enough, so I could see him clearly. He was looking right at the window where I was sitting. I wasn’t sure if he could see me or not, and I really didn’t mind if he could.
I sat in my chair and watched him until I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was going to give myself an ulcer if I did not stop stressing. I finally stood and went back to bed.
As soon as I laid down and pulled up my covers, Andy turned around and walked back inside his place. A minute later, his lights went out. I then knew he was able to see me, and he had waited until I went to bed before he did.
The next day, I avoided the shop at all costs. We were busy at the store, so I barely saw Andy at all, and when I did, it was from a distance. His uniforms arrived that morning, and when he returned from his lunch break, he was wearing one. He looked gorgeous in it too.
Thankfully, I finished out my day at work without incident. We’d gotten so busy I was actually running late to rehearsal for the anniversary party.
Luckily, I hit traffic just right and made it on time. I met with Ben and the band, and we ran through the song list. We worked on the songs that I
was going to be singing lead vocals. It felt great to be singing again, and in no time, I felt comfortable being back on a stage.
The couple who was having the anniversary party had picked great songs for us to perform. They chose a mix of modern rock, pop, and even threw some hair bands into the mix. I would be singing lead vocals on songs by Madonna, Pat Benatar, and Joan Jett. In addition to singing lead and backup vocals, I would be performing several duets with Ben.
We finished rehearsal around eleven that night. Ben promised Friday’s rehearsal was going to be brief since we accomplished so much. I was leaving when Ben called after me, so I stopped and let him catch up.
“Zoey, do you still talk to Sasha at all?”
I nodded and grinned slyly, because I knew where the conversation was headed. “Yes, we go to a class together, so I see her twice a week.” Sasha had lusted after Ben all through high school. “Ben, if you’re interested in Sasha, you should call her. I’m sure she’d love to hear from you.”
He perked up. “Really? You think so? She would never give me the time of day back in high school.”
Ha! He must not have tried very hard. Men. I gave Ben her phone number and headed home.
By the time I arrived at home, I was exhausted. I hadn’t had even two minutes to myself all day. Once I was ready for bed, I stood at my window and stared across the courtyard at Andy’s place. All the lights were out so he had already gone to bed.
The day had been pure torture for me. Even though I was busy, I could not get my mind off him. I wondered if he was still upset with me, or if he realized why a relationship would never work out for us. I knew that tomorrow I would need to work over at the shop part of the day. I was dreading it and looking forward to it at the same time.
Fortunately, the next day was much the same. We were busy all day long, which was fine, because I barely saw Andy. He popped into the office for a minute to say ‘hi,’ and went back to work. It was awkward, and I literally felt the frustration and tension between us. It left me with a sick feeling in my stomach and an achy heart.
He was trying to be my friend, just as I’d asked. I wasn’t sure how long I could stand to be in the same building so close to him, so I decided I better get my work done quickly, and then get the hell out of there.
