Anywhere But Here

by Paul, JL

  My cheeks burned as I nodded. “Pick me up around six, huh?”

  “Sure,” he grinned.

  ***

  “I’m going to have to start getting a little more creative with our dates,” Fin mused as we left the movie theater, hands linked. The cold night air did nothing to quell the heat rocketing through my veins. Being so close to him in a dark, intimate theater had wreaked havoc on my hormones and I had a sudden urge to knock him down in the snow and maul him.

  “The movie was fine,” I said in a strangled voice. “But what should we do now?”

  “Are you hungry?” he asked as he opened the car door for me. I shook my head. He shut the door and climbed in on his side, starting the engine and letting it run. “How about some coffee or something?”

  I agreed. He drove us to a little coffee shop on the main strip. It wasn’t too crowded, just a few of our classmates, so we were able to score a table easily. Fin left me sitting in order to stand in line at the counter to get our coffee. I gazed absently through the store to see who I recognized. I was a little surprised to see Dayna seated at a table without Gina by her side but realized quickly that Dayna must be on a date – a guy I didn’t recognize was sitting across from her. I was hoping that meant that Gina wouldn’t come looking for her – they seemed to be attached at the hip at school - which also meant I could avoid that confrontation and relax with Fin for an hour or so before I had to get home.

  “So, the game is at four tomorrow – hope you’ll come,” he said, his eyes nearly sparkling. “We only have a few left before the playoffs.”

  “I’ll be there,” I said, my eyes equally as sparkly. “Aunt Franki might come, too, you know. She’s the one who convinced me to come to your first game.”

  He lifted a quizzical brow as he leaned over the table. “Is that so? And here I thought you couldn’t get enough of me at school and were just dying to see me again.”

  I snorted, amused grin toying with my lips. “That’s what you get for thinking.”

  He laughed loudly, attracting the attention of the patrons closest to us – including Dayna. Her eyes lit up in surprise and she smirked, bending over her table to whisper to her companion. A touch of panic jabbed my insides but I pushed it away, determined to enjoy my evening with Fin. I wouldn’t let those petty witches ruin everything.

  “Come on, admit it,” Fin teased. “You know you wanted me from the second you saw me.”

  I rolled my eyes, my heart not quite into the banter as it had been. “You’re full of yourself.”

  He smiled and reached out to touch my hand. “I love that spark inside of you, did you know?”

  Heat flooded my cheeks as my smile widened, not allowing me to hide it. “Maybe you can’t get enough of me,” came my weak reply.

  “You are absolutely right,” he said, furthering my embarrassment.

  My heart skipped rope in my chest as I suddenly forgot everyone around us. I longed to be curled up on that sofa in his basement, away from prying eyes and safe in his arms. “You are truly one of a kind, Ian Finley,” I whispered with absolute honesty.

  “Good,” he said with a wink that thrilled me. “I want to be that way with you.” He finished his hot chocolate and stood to get a refill. “You ready?”

  I shook my head, my cup still half-full, and watched him approach the counter. A soft smile remained on my lips as I turned back to my drink. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Dayna’s knowing glance and it chilled me. I gulped my hot chocolate but it couldn’t warm me from the icy fingers climbing my spine. I ducked in order to study her from under my lashes as she motioned for a girl I recognized from my Spanish class to her table. She whispered to her and laughed as the other girl gasped loudly, drawing attention. Shortly after, a small crowd milled about Dayna’s table causing my heart to fall.

  Fin returned with a frown. He slipped into the booth across from me. “I wonder what Dayna is all in a tizzy about,” he mused.

  “I don’t know,” I said, tamping down hysteria. “But I’m a little tired. Do you think we could get out of here?”

  “Sure,” he drawled, disappointment flooding his eyes. “No problem. Um, are you all right?”

  “Of course,” I said with a forced smile.

  I skirted Dayna’s table as we made our way out of the coffee shop, eager to escape the prying eyes. I didn’t relax until we were in the car, driving to Aunt Franki's. When he parked in the drive, he turned to me, many questions in his eyes, but he set his lips before they escaped. He pulled me into an embrace, placing a kiss in my hair, working his way down. I melted into him, wishing only that I could stay there with him in his cozy car, but knowing I had to peel myself away from him sooner or later.

  He detached himself from me and traced my jaw line with his finger. “Rena, call me if you need anything, okay? Anything at all. Any time of the day.”

  My heart expanded as those pesky tears welled in my eyes. It was his way of saying that whenever I was ready to talk, he’d listen. I nodded, pecked his lips, and ran into the house.

  Aunt Franki wasn’t home and the note she’d left under a magnet on the fridge announced that she’d gone out with friends and to call her cell phone if I needed her. It was just as well – I wanted to be alone.

  I pounded down the stairs to my room and paced, gnawing at my lip and wondering what was going on now – not that I didn’t really know. Obviously Gina had told her little friends that I was seeing Roberta. By Monday, the whole school would know – including my small group of friends and my…boyfriend. I was going to have to come up with a feasible explanation – something stronger than Aunt Franki being acquainted with Roberta. Maybe I could confide in Fin, and possibly Damon, that I’d been required to meet with Roberta when I first came here because of my past. I was almost certain they’d believe me. But I didn’t want to lie – hated how the lies were stacking up. Wasn’t I obligated, under some sort of code of friendship, to tell my closest friends the truth? Maybe Damon and I weren’t that close but what about Fin?

  I groaned as I fell to my bed, cradling my head in my hands. I was going to have to come clean to Fin – I just didn’t know when. I hated for him to know – couldn’t bear to see the pity in his eyes – but I couldn’t continue this way. Something was going to have to give.

  I kicked off my shoes and curled up on my side. Only two questions remained: How do I tell him and when would be the best time? I had no answer whatsoever for either.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I perched high on the bleachers of the community center rigidly, trying to remain calm and cool, but my insides were a total wreck. I eyed the crowd furtively, hoping Roberta wouldn’t be in attendance. I didn’t need for her to check up on me again and give the rest of the town fodder for gossip.

  I searched as nonchalantly as possible for Gina and her group - finally locating them near the players’ bench, shouting out encouragement to the team as they warmed up on the ice. Jealousy niggled my heart but I wouldn’t let it consume me – I knew Fin wanted me over the others.

  When the game finally got under way, I tried to lose myself in Fin’s fluid movements and the way he slapped the puck carefully to his teammates but my eyes wouldn’t cooperate. They constantly flitted through the excited faces, looking for the familiar. My hands twisted together in my lap as my leg twitched sporadically. My cool façade was slipping and I struggled to keep it in place.

  The game clock counted down slowly, moving slower than the clocks at school, and I had difficulty focusing on the match below me. My foot tapped out an impatient beat as Fin’s team scored – which player managed to slap the puck into the net, I had no clue. In fact, the only reason why I even knew someone had scored was because the players where hugging and smacking each other on the back.

  By the middle of the third period, I was convinced Roberta was going to show up. I was confident everyone in the Community Center was throwing covert glances my way, as if they knew or heard something about me and was verify
ing the information.

  Just as the clock wound down, my cell phone rang. I whipped it out of my pocket and frowned as Aunt Franki’s name flashed on the screen. I answered with trepidation.

  “Hello?”

  “Rena, honey, do you have plans for after the game?” she asked, obviously inserting pep into her voice.

  “Um, nothing definite,” I said as the buzzer rang. I plugged my other ear to block the sound. “Why? Is something wrong?”

  “No, not at all,” she said. I didn’t believe her. “Well, your father is here and he wants to see you.”

  I swallowed the surprise as my mouth went incredibly dry. My father? What would he want with me that he couldn’t say over the phone? Terrifying scenarios flashed through my mind, each worse than the previous: Mom collapsing from the strain; Jared in some kind of accident; Camille’s body found…

  “Um, I’ll be home as soon as I can find Fin and tell him,” I promised, snapping my phone shut. It trembled in my hand as I sat momentarily stunned. Spectators were clearing out around me, shaking me out of my stupor. I climbed down the bleachers and moved through the crowd to stand near the locker room door.

  Fin would be disappointed even though we hadn’t really planned anything. I would be disappointed, too, for I’d become a little attached to him and the time we spent together. But I knew my father wouldn’t drive all this way for something trivial. That’s what really had me worried – worried enough that I was tempted to just leave and call Fin later.

  “No Roberta tonight?” Gina asked as she sauntered over to me. She leaned on the wall, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “I saw you sitting all alone. Must not be your session night, huh?”

  “Go to hell,” I said, my mood growing graver by the minute. And her presence was exacerbating the situation.

  “Ooh, big words,” she said, her face screwed up in mock fright. “What’s the matter – didn’t take your meds tonight?”

  “I’m not in the mood for you,” I warned, the anger-demon growling, its lips curled away from its teeth. I was tempted to mimic it. “So, just clear out, all right? Go pester someone else.”

  “No,” she said as she feigned interest in her nails. “Think I’ll hang out here with you.”

  I took a menacing step toward her, fists clenched tightly at my sides. Red hot anger flooded my body and pulsed through my veins. I could feel my control hanging by a bare thread. “I’m in no mood for you,” I repeated sternly. Her eyes widened as she took in my stance. She dropped her hand and blinked slowly as though trying to figure out what to do next.

  Fin exited the locker room smiling, until he caught a glimpse of my angry face and Gina pressed against the wall. He dropped his bag and caught me around the shoulders, pulling me to his chest.

  “Hey, there, Rena,” he called in an attempt to be cheerful but the strain was evident in his voice. “Did you enjoy the game?”

  I snapped my eyes from Gina to Fin and relaxed my fists. “Sure.”

  “Good,” he said, turning me to face him. “Um, let’s get out of here, huh?” When I nodded, he picked up his bag, took my hand, and dragged me away from Gina. He didn’t speak or slow his pace until we reached his car and only then did he drop my hand. “Okay, what the hell was that all about?”

  “What?” I asked. The frigid air was once again working its magic and cooling my rage, though the tension was still in my shoulders.

  “You looked like you were about to murder Gina,” he said as he leaned against his car. He attempted to smile but failed.

  “The thought had crossed my mind,” I admitted. With a sigh, I released more tension into the air. “She just…she just knows the right buttons to push to rile me up.”

  Grasping my shoulders, he bent to look into my eyes. “You have got to ignore her, Rena,” he insisted. “She’s only trying to egg you on – get you in trouble. If you would have taken a swing at her, it would have been your fault.”

  “So?” I snorted, turning my face from him.

  He palmed my cheek, forcing my eyes to his. “Please, for me, try to not let her get to you?” His eyes pleaded with me and I caved a tiny bit.

  “Fine,” I said as I exhaled. “Whatever.”

  He pressed his lips to mine and I fisted his jacket. He pulled away with a smile. I almost forgot that I was supposed to hurry home. “What do you want to do tonight?”

  Groaning, I banged my forehead on his chest. “I have to go home. My father is here, apparently, but I have no clue why.”

  “That sucks,” he said, disappointment dripping from his voice. He sighed and I peeked at his face. “Guess I’ll hang out with Grant and Isaiah – they’re both dateless tonight, too.”

  “Sorry,” I said meekly.

  He kissed my nose and hugged me. “It’s okay. Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”

  He hopped in the car with me as I started the engine, letting it idle to warm up a bit. I turned to him, forcing the worry from my face. “Sorry, honestly. I’d much rather hang out with you.”

  He held my hand in his palm, toying with my fingers. “Is something the matter? Is that why he’s here?”

  Shrugging, I gazed out the windshield. “I don’t know. Aunt Franki didn’t say anything on the phone.”

  “He wouldn’t just drive up here for no reason, would he?”

  Again I shrugged. “I would think not but then, my last weekend at home didn’t go so great.”

  He froze and I turned to him, curious as to his reaction. It dawned on me that I hadn’t mentioned anything, really, about that disastrous weekend. Now he was certain to ply me with questions.

  “What happened?” he asked.

  I released a long breath and took my bottom lip between my teeth. Why not? Hadn’t I decided I’d come clean? I blinked as I considered this. Yes, I had decided, but somehow, it just didn’t seem like the right time – not in my freezing cold car. Not while my father sat at Aunt Franki’s house waiting for me. I’d have to put it off until another time.

  “Rena?” he asked, concerned.

  “Sorry,” I said with a feeble smile. “It was nothing, really. Just an argument with my mother and I haven’t spoken to her since. I have a feeling that maybe my dad is here as a peacemaker.”

  A frown pulled at his lips. “That doesn’t seem too bad,” he mused. He laced our fingers together and tugged me closer. “Maybe we could get together for a little bit tomorrow.”

  “Don’t you have your weekly family thing?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he groaned. “But maybe when we get home you could come by or something.”

  “Okay,” I said, my eyes shooting a quick look at the dashboard clock. “I really need to go…”

  He kissed me before I could finish my sentence and my free hand darted to his shoulder instinctively. His lips massaged mine tenderly at first but grew more demanding and I happily gave into him. He raised a hand to my hair, tangling his fingers in it as I leaned closer to him, hungering to feel his chest pressed into mine. How I wished we were somewhere a little more private so I could give into the wild, uninhibited urges that blazed inside my body.

  “Rena,” he whispered against my mouth. My heart trilled. “Rena, you better go.”

  He didn’t sound too convincing and my blissful mind wanted to argue, but I reluctantly drew back with a sigh. “I know,” I said, my lips still tingling. He kissed them once more and opened the door.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  I drove home numbly, my mind racing, turning over different scenarios and reasons for my father’s apparently impromptu visit. It took a total of seven minutes to reach Aunt Franki’s house and as I parked my car behind my father's, my hands began trembling again. My legs were like lead as I lifted them out of the car and forced them to the door. The warm lights seeping through the drawn blinds did nothing to reassure me but I trudged on, entering the house and hanging my coat. I kicked off my wet boots and padded in my socks to the kitchen where Aunt Franki sat at the table
with my father, both of them nursing cups of coffee.

  “Rena!” Dad cried as he jumped to his feet. As he gathered me in his arms, that burning sensation behind my eyes returned. His scent was so familiar and so…safe. This was what I needed – my father, my protector.

  “Hi, Dad,” I mumbled into his strong chest. Releasing me, he held me at arm’s length to gaze fondly, like he hadn’t seen me in ages. “What’s up?”

  The joyful air of reunion abruptly ended as Dad’s shoulders slumped. He took my hand and led me to the table, gesturing for me to take a seat. I did, my nerves jumping all over. I folded my hands on the table. “Okay, you’ve got me a wreck here,” I said. “Please, just tell me what’s going on. Is it…Camille?”

  “No,” Dad said, a fleeting smile sweeping his face. “No. Nothing new there.” He ducked his head, apparently to control his emotions, and then lifted his head to me. “Um, Rena, this isn’t easy to tell you – that’s why I wanted to come here and do it face to face.”

  He was dragging his feet – stalling – and it scared me. I knew it wasn’t good but just how not good, I did not know.

  “Please, Dad, just say it.”

  He deflated a little more, ran his hands through his thinning hair, shot a quick glance at Aunt Franki, and then flashed a pathetic smile. “Okay, honey, here it is. I, um, moved out. I don’t live at home anymore.”

  I blinked rapidly as his words rang in my ears, working their way slowly to my brain. I tried to process it as I continued to look stupidly at my father. “You mean, you’re moving in here?”

  He chuckled but it was fake. “No, not at all. I still have to work and it’s too much of a commute.” He drew a long breath and straightened his spine. “I’m staying at a hotel for a while.”

  I dug the heels of my hands in my eyes as my head slowly shook back and forth. “I don’t understand. I … why? When did all this happen?”