Retreat Again (The Retreat Series Book 2)

by Christina Benjamin

  Alex was on his feet too. “Please, I need to get in touch with Olivia. Can you tell me where she is?”

  “I’m sorry. We’re not at liberty to release information during an ongoing investigation.”

  “But I’m . . . I’m in love with her.”

  A remorseful expression passed over Agent Carson’s face. “I’m sure she’ll get in touch with you when she can.”

  “She doesn’t even have my phone number,” Alex argued.

  “I have it. I’ll be sure to pass it on to her.”

  “But—”

  Carson spared Alex the indignity of begging by cutting him off. “I’m sorry, son. Try and get some rest,” he muttered and then walked briskly away to converse with the last three agents loitering in the kitchen.

  Stunned, Alex sunk back into his chair. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was David. Alex had nearly forgotten he was still in the room.

  “Hey, let’s go get your things out of my car,” David said, his voice unnecessarily loud.

  Alex gave him a perplexed look. He didn’t think he’d left anything in David’s car, but from the awkward look on his boyish face, it seemed David was trying to convey something. Either that, or he had a strange twitch Alex hadn’t noticed before.

  Once they reached the 4runner at the end of the now nearly vacant driveway, David climbed in and gestured for Alex to follow suit. David started the car and turned on the radio. “Give me your phone,” he commanded.

  Alex fished his cell phone from his pocket and handed it over, watching David type a series of keys.

  “Now you have her number,” David said, handing the phone back to Alex. “But she probably won’t answer. She’s flying to New York to see her grandmother tonight. She’ll be at New York Presbyterian, in Manhattan.”

  “Thank you, David. For everything. You’re a good guy. I won’t forget this,” Alex said opening the car door.

  David reached out and put a hand on Alex’s shoulder to stop him. “Don’t thank me, Alex. Just treat her right.”

  A look of understanding passed between them and Alex nodded. “Of course.”

  He slipped from the 4runner and closed the door. Alex stood in the driveway watching David drive away until his taillights were little red specks. A moment later, Agent Carson and the rest of his team left as well.

  Alex couldn’t bring himself to go back into the empty cottage. He stood on the front porch watching the parade of headlights bob down Carter Ridge like retreating fireflies.

  This couldn’t be how it ended. He needed to talk to Olivia. He had to hear her voice, or he was sure the pain in his heart would swallow him whole. Alex sat in a weathered rocking chair and took a deep breath before dialing Olivia’s number. The phone rang three times and went to voicemail. He tried twice more with the same results. On his last call he left a message.

  “Liv, it’s Alex. I-I talked to Agent Carson. He said you’re okay, but Christ, Liv . . . Why didn’t you tell me? I-I just wanna hear your voice. I’m, I don’t know. I just think we should talk. Please. I’ll keep calling.”

  “Idiot,” he mumbled to himself when he hung up. He should’ve planned his message out. He’d rambled, and did he really say, ‘I’ll keep calling?’

  Like Olivia needed another guy threatening her after what she’d been through.

  Alex rested his head in his hands, fisting his hair in frustration. He took deep breaths and tried to sort out his thoughts. The only one he kept coming back to was that he needed to see Olivia. He needed to put it all on the table and tell her that she was the only thing that mattered, and that he would do whatever it took to show her that he would never hurt her.

  “Man up, Alex. It’s time to go get your girl,” he said as he dialed a different number.

  “Hi, I need your earliest flight to New York.”

  Chapter 41

  Olivia

  Olivia’s thoughts on the flight back to New York were as choppy as the helicopter blades. She couldn’t get the heartbroken look on Alex’s face out of her head.

  I did the right thing—that’s what she kept telling herself. Staying would only have made things worse. But she felt awful having left like that. She desperately wanted to tell Alex why she was leaving and that it had nothing to do with him. But it would’ve been too hard. And she knew in the end the more time they spent together would only make it hurt that much more when things fell apart—which they surely would.

  Everyone who cared about Olivia always ended up hurt. And she couldn’t bring anymore pain into Alex’s life. Dating a Crain meant you got all of the family drama along with it. And that was assuming Alex was even still interested in her. After everything that had gone down with Rhys, and the way she left Alex . . .

  Christ!

  What must he be thinking?

  The thought of David or Agent Carson trying to answer Alex’s questions made Olivia’s heart wrench. It should have been her telling Alex about her troubled past. Though it probably wouldn’t matter who told him. Olivia was convinced Alex would want nothing to do with her once he learned the truth.

  Still . . . had he really said ‘I love you’ when her helicopter took off?

  She was positive those were the words he’d formed. But that thought terrified her more than anything. Olivia wasn’t ready for something so big. She’d never even had a serious boyfriend, unless you count Rhys, and look how that turned out. No, things would never have worked out for her and Alex. It was best to just make a clean break and try to forget about him.

  The problem was, Olivia’s heart wouldn’t let her. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Alex. Each time she tried to focus on a happy moment to rescue her from the sinking darkness of the day’s events it was visions of Alex that materialized.

  Kissing Alex.

  Touching Alex

  Being wrapped in Alex . . . it had been real.

  She had true feelings for him and they consumed her.

  Olivia took a shaky breath and closed her eyes. For a moment, she desperately wished to be someone else. Someone who didn’t come from a famous family. Someone whose life wasn’t dissected by the media. Someone less damaged. But then guilt weighed heavily on her shoulders. Olivia loved her family, no matter how crazy they were. They were always there for her. They were the reason she’s been able to finally end her nightmare with Rhys. And if she’d trusted them sooner, maybe things wouldn’t be such a mess right now. Olivia was tremendously grateful for the way her family had come through for her. They were truly all she had in this world and it was time she stopped apologizing for being a Crain and embraced it.

  The pilot’s voice crackled through her headphones in his monotone voice. “We’re making our approach to Teterboro, Miss Crain. We’ll have you on the ground in twenty.”

  She nodded and wrung her hands nervously in her lap. The way the helicopter jostled was unnerving. Olivia didn’t enjoy flying as it was. Luckily, Alex had occupied her thoughts for the entire flight. As they descended through the clouds, the twinkling lights of New York City lit up the night sky, welcoming her home. The trouble was, Olivia wasn’t sure if she was ready for what that meant.

  Olivia called her grandfather from the town car he’d arranged.

  “How was the flight, sweetheart?” Grand asked.

  “It was fine. Everything went according to plan.”

  “Yes, I’ve spoken with Jack already. I’m proud of you, sweetheart. I know that couldn’t have been easy.”

  “I’m just glad it’s over. Are you still at the hospital? I’m headed that way now.”

  “You sound exhausted. Why don’t you go to Jacob and Margot’s and get some rest?”

  “But I wanted to see Gran,” she argued.

  While her body secretly craved a shower and bed more than anything, Olivia desperately wanted to see her grandparents. They always made her feel better.

  “We’re not going anywhere,” Grand said softly. “Get some rest, Olivia. You can come by in the morning.�
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  “Thanks, Grand. I love you.”

  “I love you too, sweetheart.”

  Olivia disconnected the call and spoke to the driver. “Change of plans. Can you take me to the Mark?”

  “Right away, Miss Crain.”

  Olivia sagged against the backseat, savoring the comfort of the warm black leather seats. It was a struggle to keep her eyes open. But she did. She’d forgotten how much she missed the city. It was completely different than Carter Ridge in every way, but she realized she loved both places equally. Both symbolized her family, and being back in New York made her recognize how much she missed them.

  She was just wondering if she should text her uncle to tell him she was on her way when a bus with a giant ad for an art exhibit rolled by. Olivia nearly shrieked when she saw Alex’s face staring back at her. The advertisement read, ‘See the Music – Alex Tine’s Music Legends Exhibit – David Zwirner Gallery.’

  Olivia’s heart constricted as she locked eyes with Alex’s larger than life image. The photo didn’t do him justice. It didn’t capture the sparkle of his green eyes or the exact golden color of his skin. Plus, the radiance of his crooked smile was absent. And the way he smelled, like summer and rain and fireplaces and all of the things that made her happy. She suddenly missed Alex so much, it hurt.

  As Olivia watched the bus pull away she felt a pang of worry for Alex. It had just dawned on her that his arrest in Carter Ridge might jeopardize his career. The thought that she might cause him to lose his gallery deal made her nauseous. She would have to ask Gran to speak to Alex’s agent and smooth things over. Perhaps her grandparents had enough pull to get Alex’s arrest expunged. The whole thing had been Rhys’s fault anyway. Surely it wouldn’t be hard to get the arrest thrown out after what Rhys had done.

  Olivia hated using her family’s fame for special favors, but for Alex, she would. She was beginning to realize she’d do just about anything for him.

  When Olivia finally arrived at The Mark Hotel, she was a ball of nerves. During the long, silent elevator ride to her uncle’s penthouse suite, her mind bounced through harrowing questions.

  How much did her family know already?

  Were they waiting up for her to arrive?

  Would she have to explain everything about Rhys’s role in her mother’s death?

  Could they ever forgive her for keeping this secret?

  What about her father?

  Olivia had deliberately kept her father far from her mind. Their relationship was already rocky. After Olivia’s mother had died, neither of them seemed to know what to say to each other. They didn’t spend much time together—her father touring, while Olivia attended college. They seemed to have formed a silent mutual agreement that they just wouldn’t talk about Olivia’s mother. It was too painful—for both of them.

  The elevator pinged and the doors opened into Jacob and Margot’s posh penthouse apartment. To her relief the lights were off and all was quite in the elegantly appointed suite. Olivia moved quietly across the polished white marble floor and headed to the spare bedroom. There were plenty of them now that her cousins had all moved out to apartments of their own in the city. Olivia couldn’t understand it. If Jacob and Margot were her parents, she would never leave.

  She was often jealous of her cousins. They didn’t know how good they had it—growing up together, always having each other to talk to. They’d never been lonely, a point that annoyed Bex to no end. She constantly complained about being the youngest, dwelling in her sisters’ shadows and never having anything for herself.

  Maybe everyone craved someone else’s life.

  What was that saying . . . The grass is always greener?

  Olivia sighed with relief when she dropped her bag in the guest room and turned on the massive en suite shower. She stripped off her borrowed scrubs and hopped into the scalding water, letting it burn away the heaviness of the day. She tried not to think about the last time she’d showered because it had been with Alex. But the steam carried the sensual memories back to her. They wrapped around her body in a caressing vapor. But memories were no substitute for the real thing.

  The shower had done Olivia wonders. She felt clear-headed again. And after a few hours of sleep she was sure she’d wake refreshed and able to find light at the end of the tunnel. She dressed in a pair of comfy flannel pajamas she found in Bex’s old room and was padding to the kitchen to grab a snack before bed—she couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten—when a voice startled her.

  “Welcome home, honey.”

  “Dad!”

  “I’m sorry. Did I startle you?”

  “It’s all right. I’m just a bit jumpy, I guess.”

  “It’s to be expected after the day you had.”

  She flinched.

  He knew.

  “You talked to Gran, then?” she asked.

  Her father nodded, and stuffed his hands into his jean pockets. It was such a shy, boyish gesture. Her father the rock star, stood before her looking like a lost boy. He seemed unsure how to approach her. “Liv . . .” he started and then stopped. “I’m so sorry. I . . . I should have—”

  “Dad, it’s all right.”

  “No, it’s not, Olivia.” His voice cracked.

  The pain on her father’s face raised a lump in Olivia’s throat. She was moving before she knew why, her legs hurtling her into her father’s arms. He caught her, picking her up like she was a little girl again. For the first time since Olivia’s mother died, they cried together, shedding tears for what they’d lost, and the chasm they’d let form between them. Olivia sobbed on her father’s shoulder until she had no tears left. It was the first time she’d ever let him see her cry since she was a child—the first time she’d let him be the stronger one—the first time he’d felt . . . fatherly.

  Olivia knew they had so much to work out, but this was a start. And something she never would have thought possible only a few hours ago. After their tears had run dry, they sat down on the white leather couch together.

  “I want you to know I’m sorry for not being a better father to you, Liv. I know I can’t make up for the past, but I can try to be there for you now. Starting by quitting the band.”

  “Dad . . .”

  “I know you’re not a little girl anymore, but I’m just realizing how much I missed out on and how much you’ve had to deal with on your own. I want to try to be a father to you, Livy. If you’ll let me.”

  “Dad, listen to me. I love you and I don’t blame you for anything that happened. And I certainly don’t want you to give up something you love.”

  “But I love you, Olivia. You’re more important to me than music, than anything. You always have been. I never knew how to show you. I’m not good at this kind of thing . . . I guess I just always thought your mother would be here to help me. She was the nurturing one.”

  Olivia smiled. “I think you’re doing just fine, Dad.”

  “God, you look so much like her, you know? Sometimes I think that’s why I couldn’t talk to you after we lost her . . .” he trailed off.

  Olivia put her hand on his knee, “I’m sorry.”

  “No, don’t be, honey. I love that you look so much like your mother. I want to remember her. You’re a little piece of her that I get to hold on to. I’m not going to mess it up this time. I mean it. I’m leaving the band and I’m gonna stay right by your side.”

  “Dad, I love you so much. And being able to talk about this with you . . . I think it’s going to be really good for us. But I don’t want you to quit music. Not when I finally found my way back to it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Olivia sighed. “It’s sort of a long story. Can we talk about it in the morning?”

  Her father gave her shoulders a squeeze. “Sure, honey. I’m going to be here for you. I promise.”

  Olivia stood and started to walk to her room, but she paused and turned back to face her father. He was still sitting on the couch. He looked like a ghost in t
he glowing patch of moonlight and the thought made Olivia shiver.

  “Dad?”

  “Hmm,”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too, honey.”

  “Thank you for talking to me.”

  Her father stood up and walked over to her, wrapping her in his warm embrace.

  “Thank you, for giving me another chance,” he said through silent sobs.

  She let her father hold her for a while, until his tears stopped. And then she fell exhaustedly into bed, letting sleep swallow her whole.

  The next morning, Olivia rode to the hospital with her father. She was looking forward to seeing Gran and Grand and the rest of her family. Especially now that everything was out in the open. Olivia’s father told her that her grandparents had called a family meeting yesterday and explained what Olivia had been going through with Rhys. Olivia was beyond relieved she’d been spared from having to relive the horror while explaining things to her family.

  But now that everyone knew, she had a strange hollow feeling in her chest—almost a lightness. Like the giant monster she’d been a slave to for the past five years was finally dead. Olivia hadn’t realized just how much energy she was devoting to keeping her secrets. But now that everything was out in the open, she felt raw and new, like anything was possible.

  Aunt Margot and Bex were in the waiting room when Olivia and her father arrived at New York Presbyterian. On the way there, her father told her that Gran was actually doing a bit better lately so the family had started taking shifts visiting the hospital. Apparently Gran said having them all there all the time made her feel like she was at death’s door.

  The moment Bex saw Olivia, she ran over to greet her with an overzealous hug. “Nice dress, Cuz.”

  Olivia smoothed the soft printed material of the russet-colored dress she’d borrowed from her cousin’s closet. Olivia was wearing Bex’s tall leather boots too. “I was hoping you wouldn’t mind. All of my clothes are dirty or ruined.”