Retreat Again (The Retreat Series Book 2)

by Christina Benjamin

“You know I don’t.” Bex smirked. “My dresses always look better on you anyway.”

  “Thanks,” Olivia said, giving her cousin’s hand a squeeze. “How’s Gran?”

  “Why don’t you go see for yourself?” Bex replied with a sly smile.

  Oh no.

  Olivia hated that smile. It meant Bex was up to something. Olivia raised her eyebrows at her cousin and shrugged. “Okay, weirdo. I will.”

  She turned her attention to her father, who was quietly chatting with Margot. “I’m gonna go say hello to Gran,” she called.

  Her dad looked up and nodded. “Great, honey. Tell her I’ll stop in after you two are done talking.”

  Olivia nodded and made her way down the hall to her grandmother’s private room. She knocked on the door, but didn’t get a response.

  Maybe Gran was still asleep.

  Olivia pushed the door open silently and listened. She heard the sounds of laughter and the clinking of glasses. The pastel hospital curtain was drawn around her grandmother’s bed, so Olivia couldn’t see who else was in the room. It was probably just her grandfather.

  “Hello? Gran? Grand?” Olivia called as she pushed into the room.

  At the sound of her voice the laughter stopped. Olivia suddenly felt like she was intruding and her face reddened. “It’s Olivia. I can come back if—” she was about to round the corner of the curtain when a large splash of color caught her eye and stole her words.

  There, resting against the flat screen TV, was the painting Alex had done of Olivia’s song. Unable to believe her eyes, Olivia’s feet carried her further into the room to examine the painting.

  “Hello, angel,” her grandmother called excitedly. “Isn’t that the loveliest painting you’ve ever seen? It was so kind of Alex to bring it by.”

  Olivia spun to face her grandmother. “He was here?” But as she turned she noticed another figure sitting at Gran’s bedside, and it wasn’t her grandfather.

  “Alex?” she whispered.

  The room suddenly swayed and Olivia felt the world tilt. In a flash she was falling, but Alex moved swiftly and caught her.

  “Whoa, Liv. Are you okay?” he asked, his voice soft and close.

  Olivia couldn’t speak. She could only stare into his vivid green eyes. That’s what the advertisement had missed—the depth and charm of Alex’s devastating features. Up close, there was a raw magnetism about him that Olivia couldn’t describe and no photograph could ever capture it. He was so incredibly kind and genuine. It hurt her heart to look at him—to know what she was giving up. Olivia shuddered and closed her eyes.

  “Here, why don’t you sit down?” Alex said, ushering her to the seat he’d been in moments before.

  Olivia sat, still staring at him in awe. “What are you doing here?”

  Gran answered for him. “Alex arrived a few hours ago. Caught the red-eye to check on my favorite granddaughter,” she said with a wink as she swirled a glass of clear liquid in her wrinkled hand.

  “Gran! Is that gin?”

  She shrugged, but the sparkle in her eyes told Olivia everything she needed to know.

  “The nurses were very specific about you not drinking, Gran,” Olivia scolded, reaching for the glass.

  Her grandmother deftly pulled it away. “Oh let an old woman enjoy some luxuries.” She took a sip of her gin and smiled. “I swear it’s to blame for my long life. But enough about me. I want to hear all about you two. It seems you have some things to talk about?”

  Alex moved closer to Olivia and held out a hand to her. “Yes, I was hoping we could go somewhere and—”

  “No!” Olivia cut him off. “I came here to talk to you, Gran.”

  “Don’t be rude, Olivia,” her grandmother reprimanded.

  “It’s okay,” Alex replied. “You two should talk.” He held Olivia’s gaze as he said, “Take as much time as you need. I can wait, Liv. For as long as it takes.”

  Alex took Gran’s free hand in both of his. “Thank you, Cassidy. For everything.”

  “It was my pleasure, darling.”

  After Alex left the room, Gran started in on Olivia. “Have I taught you nothing, child?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Olivia, when a handsome boy takes a red-eye just to make sure you’re okay, you hear him out.”

  Olivia sighed. “It’s complicated, Gran.”

  “It doesn’t seem complicated. I can tell you like him, don’t you?”

  “Yes, but he doesn’t need my drama in his life.”

  “Why don’t you let him make that decision?”

  “Gran—”

  “Darling, everyone deserves a second chance in life.”

  “That’s just it, Gran. He doesn’t need a second chance. I do. I made a mess of things with him. I shouldn’t have gotten involved when I was so . . . screwed up. And I shouldn’t have left the way I did. But I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t.”

  “How about you tell him the truth.”

  “I don’t even know where to start, Gran.”

  “From the beginning, angel.”

  Olivia smiled. “He calls me that too, you know? Angel. You’re the only one who’s ever called me that before.”

  Gran laughed. “I knew I liked him.” She picked up Olivia’s hand and squeezed it. “Go talk to him, Olivia.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

  “Well if you don’t talk to him, you’ll never know, will you? What have you got to lose?”

  Everything!—but Olivia couldn’t seem to find her voice again. She shrugged and stared at the floor.

  “He’s clearly in love with you, Olivia.”

  “Gran, we barely know each other.”

  “Have you seen that painting?” Gran quipped pointing to Alex’s canvas. “He painted the music that lives in your soul. If that doesn’t show he truly knows you, I don’t know what else possibly could.”

  Olivia gazed at the painting and let the memories of that night wash over her. In the harsh light of the hospital room the memory seemed like a fading dream.

  “Alex told me he painted it while you played the cello for him,” Gran added. “I trust that means you found what I sent you for?”

  And more, Olivia thought. “Yes. And I almost forgot.” She dug in her purse and pulled out a stack of letters. “I found these in the attic.”

  Gran smiled. “Ah, I was wondering when you’d finally stumble upon them.”

  “So you left them there for me?”

  “Those letters got me through some of the darkest days of my life. I left them there hoping they would offer the same reprieve to another in need of hope.” Gran smiled wistfully. “There’s a great deal of love in them. I like to think they add some of the magic our little cottage is known for,” she said with a twinkle in her sea-blue eyes. “Promise me you’ll put the letters back where you found them when you’ve gotten all you need from them?”

  Olivia turned the letters over in her hand. “You don’t want to hold on to them?”

  Gran chuckled softly. “No, dear. I know what they say.”

  “So Jacob . . .” Olivia started. “Was he . . .”

  “My first love? Yes.”

  “And Grand? He knows?”

  “Of course. Your grandfather is my true love. And that’s because he saw me at my worst and still found a way to love me, faults and all.” Gran reached up to stroke Olivia’s pale cheek. “The heart is a miraculous thing. It has the capacity to heal, forgive and love many times over. You just have to be brave enough to let it.”

  Tears slipped from Olivia’s shining eyes as she hugged her grandmother. “Thank you, Gran. I think I needed to hear that.”

  “Now go talk to your young man.”

  Chapter 42

  Alex

  When Olivia emerged into the small private waiting room Alex was pulled to his feet by the mere sight of her. He’d been having a polite conversation with her family, but suddenly he hadn’t the faintest idea what t
hey’d been talking about.

  “Excuse me,” he mumbled nearly tripping over his own feet as he tried to get to Olivia. She hadn’t seemed very happy to see him in Cassidy’s room, but Alex was desperate to speak with Olivia. Even if only for a few minutes. He just had one very important question to ask her. And after that, if she never wanted to see him again, he could live with that—or at least try to.

  “Liv,” he began, but she spared him from groveling in front of her family.

  “Let’s go somewhere and talk,” she said quietly, offering him a tight smile.

  He nodded, relief flooding him.

  “We’re going to go grab a coffee,” she called back to her family and then she held out her hand.

  Alex laced his fingers through hers and every nerve in his body sang, alive with the hope that he somehow hadn’t lost her.

  They walked silently to the elevator and got on. Olivia hit the button for the lobby and as soon as the doors closed their bodies crashed together, both of them speaking at once in rushed voices.

  Alex’s trembling hands were on either side of Olivia’s face. “Liv . . .” he said her name like a prayer, pulling her into his embrace. “I was so fucking scared . . . When David told me that Rhys was . . . Christ! I just had to come see that you were all right. I just had to tell you how-how much—”

  The elevator doors opened with a ding and Alex and Olivia immediately sprung apart. A nurse in green scrubs got on. She gave them a polite nod and continued to flip through the chart she was carrying.

  Alex and Olivia moved to the back of the elevator. They stood silently, shoulder-to-shoulder as the elevator made its excruciatingly slow decent. He dared to lace his fingers with Olivia’s again, and nearly sighed when she gave his hand a squeeze. Touching her seemed to be the only thing that calmed the storm of panic that had been raging in his chest since he watched her disappear in that helicopter. He longed to have his fingers on her face again, in her hair, his lips on hers . . .

  Patience, he reminded himself. He was trying to stay calm, but everything felt different. He was so nervous he thought he might throw up.

  For God’s sake! What was wrong with him?

  They’d already slept together. Many times, for that matter.

  Why was holding hands with Olivia making him feel like his heart was going to rip through his chest?

  Finally the elevator doors dinged again and Olivia let go of his hand. They walked through the lobby and out to the busy street.

  “So, where do you want to go for coffee?” she asked.

  It seemed being on solid ground was helping Alex focus. Or maybe it was just because he wasn’t touching Olivia anymore. But either way, he remembered what he’d come to say. However, a sidewalk in front of a hospital didn’t seem the appropriate place.

  “I know a little place not too far from here if you don’t mind walking?”

  “Lead the way,” Olivia said reaching for Alex’s hand again.

  They strolled down the busy sidewalk with the early morning sun warming their backs. Alex tried to remind himself to enjoy the moment, but he felt each step was leading him further away from what he wanted. He wished they could just go back to Carter Ridge and hide from the world.

  “You’ve got to be kidding,” Olivia said as they approached the coffee shop.

  “What?”

  “Of all the coffee shops in New York, you take me to Prologue?”

  “You know Prologue?” Alex asked, a bit shocked.

  “Don’t sound so surprised,” she said playfully swatting him. “I’m not a total Upper East Sider.”

  Alex raised his eyebrows.

  “My cousin has an apartment in SoHo. We come here every time I’m in the city.”

  Alex laughed.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing. It’s just my new place is in SoHo, too. And I’ve been coming to this coffee shop forever. They put shapes in the foam! It’s sort of why I moved here. Well, that and my favorite Italian restaurant is two blocks over.”

  Olivia practically squealed “Pellegrino’s? I love that place! Their linguini rustica is to die for.”

  Alex smirked. “I could probably get the recipe for you.”

  “What? How?”

  “I used to work there,” Alex replied.

  “You’re kidding?”

  “Nope.”

  “Did you ever see me there?”

  “Nah.”

  “How can you be so sure?” Olivia asked.

  “Well for one I worked in the kitchen, and I never would have forgotten the color of your face.”

  “Oh.” Olivia blushed as Alex held the coffee shop door open for her.

  They walked up to the counter to order and found a quiet table.

  “It’s strange thinking about how many times our paths might have crossed,” Alex remarked while they waited for their drinks.

  “Star-crossed lovers and all that?” Olivia asked wryly. “You don’t believe in that, do you?”

  Alex shrugged. “I don’t know. If you’d asked me a week ago, I would’ve said no.”

  “But now?”

  “But now . . . Liv, I know you’ve been through something tremendous and you’re probably still going through it. I don’t want to put any added pressure on you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Just that, I know you don’t owe me anything . . . we didn’t make any commitments or promises—”

  Just then the barista brought their lattes over—two brown paper cups with little matching heart shapes, hand-crafted into the foam.

  “Thanks,” Alex said waiting for the barista to leave before he continued talking.

  “Look, Olivia, I don’t know if I’m making any sense. I’m just trying to say that I care about you and I’m here for you if you want to talk about what you’re going through. But I understand if it’s too personal.”

  Olivia was staring down at the heart in her coffee foam. She bit her lip anxiously and finally met Alex’s gaze. “I do want to talk to you, Alex. I think . . . I think I’m done keeping everything all bottled up.”

  He reached across the table and took Olivia’s hand, rubbing his thumb over her soft skin. “Olivia, I came here because I—”

  The barista was back. “Can I interest you in a sample of our triple-chocolate chip muffin?”

  “No thank you,” Alex replied shortly, while Olivia pulled her hand back and shook her head.

  When the barista was gone, Olivia looked at Alex with pleading eyes. “Maybe such a public place isn’t the best setting for this kind of conversation.”

  He agreed. One more interruption from the barista and he was going to shove the chocolate muffins down her throat. “Where do you want to go?” he asked.

  “You said your place is close,” Olivia suggested with a shrug.

  Shit!

  That was the last place Alex wanted to take her. He was trying to make a good impression and bringing Olivia to his bachelor pad loft was not going to win him any points. Alex had leased the studio apartment with his art advance. The gallery had been extremely generous, but Alex was frugal with his spending. Even though he had money now, he was being careful with it. He still didn’t trust his good fortune to last. He had a hard time shaking the hand to mouth lifestyle he’d grown up on.

  Alex never brought anyone to his apartment. He’d only been living there for six months. The space was still pretty much bare—not that it was much to look at even if it was furnished.

  It was a typical SoHo loft—one large brick space with a bathroom and a mattress that was currently on the floor, since Alex hadn’t gotten around to furniture shopping. There was a minimalistic kitchen with a rolling cart he was using as a table, two bar stools that had been there when he moved in, and an old dresser he’d picked up at a rummage sale to store his clothes. But the reason Alex had chosen the bare bones apartment was because it had been an old public school building and every room had massive floor to ceiling windows and access to
the terrace. He loved the natural light and outdoor space. It felt like the city was a part of his home. And in Alex’s opinion, it was only fitting, since the city had made him and was as much a part of him as his blood.

  “Or not,” Olivia said after Alex’s long pause.

  “It’s just sort of a mess right now,” Alex reasoned.

  Olivia laughed. “It can’t be a bigger mess than my life.”

  Alex heart melted at the sound of Olivia’s laughter and suddenly there was nothing he didn’t want to share with her—his apartment, his art, his whole world.

  He stood up and held his hand out to Olivia. “Let’s go.”

  Chapter 43

  Olivia

  Olivia walked into Alex’s apartment and gasped.

  Alex cringed. “Is it that bad?” he asked.

  “Bad? Are you kidding me?” Olivia flew to the massive antique windows. “This view is incredible. And these windows!” she gushed. “Do you know how rare it is to find a space with windows like this in SoHo? I bet the acoustics are amazing,” Olivia remarked as she gazed enviously around the open space.

  “It used to be an old public school,” Alex said, stuffing his hands in his pockets as Olivia continued to explore the apartment.

  Alex’s bed was against the only solid wall in the loft, staring out at the city.

  It must look amazing at night.

  The thought instantly sparked another.

  Maybe I’ll stay the night and find out.

  Olivia pushed the idea out of her head. That’s not why she came here. She needed to figure out if Alex was even interested in her, or if whatever they’d had at Carter Ridge was only because they’d been trapped together. Her gut told her it was more than that—or at least she wanted it to be.

  Olivia took a deep breath as she ran her hand along the rough exposed brick of the wall. She tried to focus on the reason she’d come to Alex’s apartment, but as she sat on the edge of his soft white comforter all she could think about was being under it with him.

  Alex sat down next to her and tucked a strand of her hair gently behind her ear. The slight brush of his fingers set her skin on fire. This was the problem with their relationship—or whatever it was. Everything became blurry when they were this close. The only thing that was clear—that had always been clear—was that Olivia had an intense physical attraction to Alex. And being alone with him in his apartment might not have been the best choice after all.