Knitting a Broken Heart Back Together

by Ari McKay

  Jason rolled his eyes. Sean was obviously a selfish asshole, and Tomy would never again have to deal with him. “Why am I not surprised? Okay, then, let me take care of you.” He leaned closer, dropping his voice to a seductive purr. “Would you like that, Tomy? Do you want me to fuck you? Fill you up and drive you out of your mind with wanting?”

  Tomy shivered, his eyes growing wide. “It’s been so long…. Yeah, I’d like that. I’d like it a lot.”

  Jason grinned as he rolled them over so he could pin Tomy to the mattress. He thrust his hips suggestively, sliding his cock along Tomy’s, and he moaned, knowing he was teasing himself just as much as he was teasing Tomy. “God, you feel good even just like this. But I want more.”

  Tomy rocked his hips up, echoing Jason’s moan as he stroked Jason’s back. “Me too. I want more. I want everything.”

  “You’ll have it.” Jason reached up to the headboard of his bed, which had a bookcase and several drawers built in. He opened the middle drawer and pulled out a bottle of lube and several condoms. He hadn’t had a lover in a while, but he’d made sure to have supplies on hand once he and Tomy started dating.

  He dropped everything on the mattress, then knelt between Tomy’s legs, splaying his hands against Tomy’s chest and circling his thumbs over Tomy’s nipples to tease them into taut peaks. Tomy arched his back, humming with pleasure.

  “You can be rough if you want,” he murmured, sifting his fingers through Jason’s hair. “I like it.”

  “Do you now?” Jason purred. He curved his fingers, then dragged his nails down Tomy’s chest, not enough to hurt, but enough to make his skin go pink. “Like that? Do you like to be bitten? When I take you, do you want me to pound you so hard we rock the bed?”

  “Yes!” Tomy’s skin grew flushed with arousal, and his eyes were filled with need at Jason’s words. He slid his hands down, digging his fingers into Jason’s ass. “All of that! Yes!”

  The reaction inflamed Jason’s own arousal, and he scraped his nails over Tomy’s skin again. If Tomy wanted rough, Jason would give him rough. He leaned down, fastening his lips around one taut nipple, then bit down and tugged at it with his teeth. Tomy yelped and clutched Jason’s ass harder, his breathing growing ragged.

  “Perfect! Just like that!”

  Tomy was incredibly responsive, and Jason wanted nothing more than to drive him wild. He moved to bite down on Tomy’s other nipple as he raked his nails roughly up Tomy’s sides. Then he began to move lower, nipping at Tomy’s skin over each bump of rib, biting down harder near his waist and then sucking at the skin to raise a mark. He wanted to cover Tomy in love bites, so Tomy couldn’t look in a mirror without seeing the evidence of their lovemaking all over his body. That way, Tomy would always be reminded of how desirable Jason found him, and Jason could look at them and feel like Tomy was all his.

  He moved even lower, after pausing to blow lightly on Tomy’s cock, teasing it but not touching. Then he moved his mouth to the inside of one of Tomy’s thighs, biting down again, tasting Tomy’s skin, the delicious salt and musk and unique flavor that belonged to Tomy alone.

  Tomy laughed softly as he let his knees fall open wider. “You really do want to eat me up, don’t you? You want to leave your mark all over me so everyone will know I’ve been claimed?”

  Jason raised his head, feeling something possessive rising up inside of him. “Yes,” he growled. “That’s exactly what I want.”

  The growl made Tomy shiver again, and when he spoke, his voice was breathy with need. “Then go ahead and do it.”

  Jason had no desire to argue with that. He moved upward quickly, pinning Tomy to the mattress with his body and biting down at the junction of neck and shoulder, worrying the skin to leave a livid mark. Tomy threw his head back on the pillow and flung his arms around Jason, clinging to him tightly.

  “Yes! I’m yours!”

  The words made Jason growl again, satisfying him on some primitive level he’d never even suspected himself of possessing. Tomy brought out things in him that he’d never felt before. He’d never had such an overwhelming desire to claim anyone, to mark them like a caveman so that everyone would know to keep their hands off what was his. Tomy was his, and he belonged to Tomy in ways Tomy might not be ready to acknowledge yet. Jason knew that burying himself in Tomy’s body was going to spoil him for anyone else, and he was going to allow it.

  He raised his head, then claimed Tomy’s lips in a hard, demanding kiss. With one hand, Jason fumbled for the bottle of lube, desperate to be buried deep in Tomy’s body. He managed to flip open the top, coating his fingers and spilling lube onto the sheets, but he didn’t care. He needed Tomy now, and he was going to have him.

  Rolling to one side, he nudged Tomy to put a leg around his hip, then slid his slick fingers along the firm curve of Tomy’s ass. He sought out the tight pucker of Tomy’s entrance, circling it with his fingers before gently pressing one inside.

  “Oh, yes….” The word ended on a sibilant hiss, and Tomy gazed at Jason with eyes half-lidded with pleasure. “Feels good. It’s going to feel even better having you in me.”

  “Good.” Jason found it hard to string coherent words together, and he breathed deeply, pulling himself back from the edge. He pressed his finger in deeper, going slowly as he forced himself to make sure he didn’t rush things. A little pain might be good, but he didn’t want to take any chance of hurting Tomy by not preparing him properly.

  After a few moments, he added a second finger, feeling the tightness of Tomy’s body slowly relax and stretch. “I want you so much,” he murmured, pressing kisses to the line of Tomy’s jaw. “I ache with wanting you.”

  “I want you too.” Tomy turned his head so he could capture Jason’s lips. “I didn’t know I could want someone as much as I want you.”

  The words gave Jason a smug feeling of triumph. So much for Sean! Jason intended to make sure Tomy couldn’t remember any touch but Jason’s own. He’d drown Tomy in sensation, take him hard and banish the ghost of Tomy’s former lover forever.

  Jason added a third finger and pressed in deeper. “How does that feel? I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Tomy purred and lifted his hips, sending Jason’s fingers even deeper. “Feels good. Feels like I want more.”

  “You’ll get more. You’ll get everything,” Jason promised. He rolled again, kneeling between Tomy’s legs and reaching for a condom. Somehow he managed to tear open the packet, even though his fingers were shaking with a mixture of anticipation and lust. He got it on, then added more lube for good measure before grasping Tomy’s hips and moving into position.

  “You’re mine,” he said roughly, then slowly pushed forward, feeling himself surrounded by Tomy’s tight, welcoming body.

  Gasping, Tomy wrapped his legs around Jason’s hips and rocked up, locking his gaze with Jason’s. “Yours. And you’re mine.”

  “Always,” Jason agreed. He drew in a deep breath, pulling almost all the way back before slamming his hips forward again, moaning at the incredible feeling of heat, of rightness at being buried inside Tomy. “So good. You feel so perfect, Tomy.”

  Tomy’s skin grew flushed and dappled with sweat as he moved beneath Jason, rocking sinuously in sync with each thrust. He clutched Jason’s back, urging him on with each gasp and moan. Jason wanted to hold back, to savor their joining and make it last as long as he could. But it had been a long time since he’d been with anyone, and Tomy made him ache with need. He released Tomy’s hips with one hand, reaching between them to wrap his fingers around Tomy’s hard length. He stroked Tomy, then squeezed him and circled his thumb around the head of Tomy’s cock.

  “I want to make you scream,” he said. “I want to give you so much pleasure, you won’t remember anyone’s touch but mine.”

  A soft cry escaped Tomy as he threw his head back on the pillow, his hips bucking reflexively, and his body grew taut with need once again. “Yes! Make me scream!”

  The sight of Tomy abandoni
ng himself drew forth another growl from Jason’s throat, bringing back that surge of possessiveness he’d felt earlier. Sex had never been like this before, but Jason went with it, claiming Tomy’s body with rough, demanding thrusts, making the massive bed rock and sending some of the paperback books toppling to the floor. But Jason didn’t care. All that mattered was Tomy and the connection between them as he buried himself in Tomy’s body and stroked Tomy closer to release.

  He leaned down, gaze riveted on Tomy’s face, watching every expression, committing them to memory. “I want to see you fly,” he growled. “Do it, Tomy. Come for me.”

  With a wild, ragged shout, Tomy obeyed, holding nothing back as he came undone beneath Jason, digging his fingers into Jason’s back hard enough to leave marks of his own. A surge of triumph flowed through Jason, and he cried out Tomy’s name as he buried himself deeply, his own pleasure pulled from him by the sight of Tomy lost in ecstasy. He’d never experienced anything like it before—the sense of completion, the rightness of it—and he stared down at Tomy, awash in sensation and completely lost in the most powerful sense of connection he’d ever known.

  The need to draw breath finally interrupted the moment, and Jason sighed as he slumped to one side, reaching for Tomy and pulling him into a fierce embrace. He was surrounded in Tomy’s scent, and he wanted to drown in it as he sought out Tomy’s lips, trying to convey through the kiss everything he wanted to say but that he feared Tomy might not be ready to hear. Tomy clung to Jason like a lifeline as he returned the kiss in equal measure, parting his lips and welcoming Jason’s claim.

  Eventually Jason pulled back, caressing Tomy’s cheek and looking into his dark eyes. “So beautiful,” he whispered. “My Tomy. You’ve spoiled me for anyone else.”

  “Good.” Tomy’s lips curved in a smug smile as he stroked Jason’s back tenderly.

  Jason hummed as he arched into the caress. “Mmm… that feels good. Let me get up and attend to things, and then you can pet me all you want, okay?”

  He kissed Tomy, then went to the bathroom to deal with the condom and to fetch a warm washcloth. After climbing back into the bed, he proceeded to clean Tomy up, placing kisses along Tomy’s skin as he did so. He dropped the washcloth on the bedside table, dealt with the other chaos he’d wreaked on the bed, then pulled Tomy against him again.

  “Don’t leave,” he said, looking at Tomy somberly. “We can order in pizza later if we get hungry. But I’d like you to stay the night, if you would. I want to wake up with you in my arms so I know this hasn’t just been a wonderful dream.”

  Tomy’s answering smile was bright as he settled into Jason’s embrace, making it clear he wasn’t planning to go anywhere. “I’d like that too.”

  “Good.” Jason leaned in to kiss Tomy’s smile, then cuddled Tomy close. He was happier than he could remember being in a long time, and he hoped Tomy was too.

  Perhaps one night of incredible lovemaking wouldn’t entirely banish the ghost of Sean from Tomy’s life, Jason thought as he closed his eyes. But at least it was a start.

  Chapter Eleven

  TOMY STARED down at the charcoal-gray hat in his lap with growing uncertainty. The hat was almost finished, and he was pleased with how well the project had turned out. Cabling wasn’t that difficult once he got used to it, and he liked the effect. But he was increasingly dissatisfied with the idea of giving this hat to Jason for Christmas. Their relationship had evolved and deepened over the past few weeks, and he wanted to give Jason something to reflect that intimate change.

  “What do you think?” He turned to Lola and held up the hat. Now that it was already early October, they had agreed to meet once a week for a knitting night to help keep each other on track for finishing their handmade Christmas gifts. Tonight, it was Tomy’s turn to host the get-together. “Should I give this to Jason?”

  Lola looked up from the lace shawl she was knitting for their mother’s Christmas gift, looking over the hat and smiling. “I think he’d love it,” she said, and then her expression became teasing. “Of course I think he might love it more if you wore it… and you weren’t wearing anything else.”

  Tomy laughed. “He probably would,” he replied, studying the hat with a critical eye again. “But it just seems… I don’t know. Impersonal. I know it probably sounds weird to say that about something you made yourself, but hats are kind of generic to give to the guy you’re dating.” He glanced sidelong at Lola before admitting, “Especially if it has the potential to get serious.”

  “More serious, you mean?” Lola asked dryly. “Come on, brother mine, don’t try to fool your big sis. You’ve looked too smug the past few weeks for me not to know you and Jason have been doing the horizontal mambo.” She paused, her dark eyes gleaming wickedly. “A lot.”

  Tomy felt a rush of heat flooding his face, but he didn’t bother trying to deny it. She would probably threaten to tickle the truth out of him if he did. “Yeah, we have, and it’s been great. But I’m still being careful. I don’t want to rush into anything.”

  “I think you’d be safe with Jason, but as long as you’re happy with the way things are going, I’m happy.” Lola smiled reassuringly at him. “I do think he’d like the hat, simply because you made it. But if you think it’s impersonal, you could make him something else to go with it.”

  “Like what?” Tomy put the hat aside and leaned forward. “I want to do something special for him. A hat’s just not going to cut it, not after everything he’s done for me.”

  Lola didn’t bother to hide her curiosity. “Oh? What in particular would that be?”

  “He’s helped me regain my confidence, for one thing,” Tomy replied, thinking about how wrecked he had been at the beginning of the year, awash in doubt. “When Sean broke up with me, I felt stupid for not seeing it coming. I felt worthless, like I wasn’t good enough to make him happy. But Jason makes me feel like the smartest, sexiest, most awesome man on the planet, which is funny because that’s what I think about him,” he added with a little chuckle.

  “Well, he’s right,” Lola said firmly. “You are smart, sexy, and awesome. The only stupid thing you ever did was not listening to me and Mama about Sean.” She patted his arm and smiled. “But I’m glad you and Jason found one another. I approve, for what it’s worth, and I’m very happy he’s been able to repair the damage Sean did to you. I guess that does merit a pretty special Christmas present, after all. Hmm…. you did well on the hat, so what do you think about a pair of socks?”

  “Socks?” Tomy liked the idea, but he wasn’t sure it was feasible. “Do I have time for that? I’ve still got to finish the scarf for Mama and the… thing I’m making for you,” he added archly. He was knitting a five-piece spa set, which included two washcloths, a bath mitt, a soap pocket, and a facial pad. “I’ve got to knit another hat for Dad, too, but if I do something different for Jason, I’ll give this one to Gabriel.”

  “You could manage it, I think,” Lola said, frowning in thought. “As your big sis and in the interest of encouraging your relationship with Jason, I give you permission to make my gift last. Here, I’ve got a pattern book in my bag. Why don’t you take a look and see what you think?”

  She reached into her bag and rummaged through several skeins of yarn and other books, finally coming up with one entitled Sock It To Me!, which she passed to him. “See if any of the patterns appeal to you.”

  Tomy accepted the pattern book eagerly and began flipping through it. The idea of knitting socks was daunting. You had to knit two, and they had to be exactly alike! But socks seemed more personal than a hat somehow. Maybe because more work went into them.

  “What do you think about this one?” He held up the book and pointed to a picture of a pair of socks with cabled Xs and Os down the front. “Too mushy?”

  Lola looked at it, then shook her head. “No, I think it’s a nice pattern, and it could be very subtle done in the right yarn. I think he’d love them.”

  Tomy wavered, wondering if the hugs a
nd kisses pattern would send the wrong message… or perhaps the right message that Tomy was afraid to send. But his instincts were saying he should knit the socks, so he drew in a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll do it, but you’ll have to deal with me having a meltdown every week about not being able to finish in time.”

  “You’ll finish, Tomasito,” she said, giving him a smile of encouragement. “Things knitted with love always go quickly.”

  Tomy shook his head, feeling heat stinging his cheeks. “I wouldn’t go that far,” he said, but it was a weak protest even to his own ears. “The L-word hasn’t come up yet.”

  “Hmph.” Lola snorted. “If it hasn’t, I suspect it’s only because you’re still holding out. But that’s okay—pretend if you need to until you’re ready to admit it to yourself. But even I can tell what you feel for him is stronger than anything you thought you felt for that jerk Sean.”

  “Lola!” Tomy grabbed a throw pillow and chucked it at his sister, although most of his indignant outrage was for show. He was all too accustomed to her blunt honesty, and he appreciated it even in the times—like this one—when he didn’t like it. “I was going to marry Sean. I loved him enough to commit to him.”

  Lola neatly avoided the pillow, flipping her hand at him in disdain. “Tomasito, you’re my baby brother, and I love you dearly, but sometimes you are such a man,” she said with a sniff. “If you had been a little less starry-eyed, you might have seen what Mama and I did—that he wasn’t in love with you. Oh, I’m not saying it was any fault of yours, of course. I don’t think a man like Sean even knows what love really is. If he had, he would have thought about your needs once in a while, and you wouldn’t have had to try so damned hard to keep him happy.”

  “In hindsight, I can see it was pretty imbalanced,” Tomy admitted with a little shrug. “I know I missed some pretty important signs, but he couldn’t have been all that bad. I would have seen it. So now I’m worried about missing something else. What if there’s something about Jason that I’m missing like I did with Sean?”