Diversions

by Leanne Davis

  “I know,” he said finally.

  Bill jerked and shook his head. “She did not deserve that. I thought you were better than that. Did you just walk out on her, then?”

  He nodded slowly, his gaze riveted on the bar.

  “And this was a few days ago?” Bill continued.

  Jason nodded.

  Bill nodded right back. He slammed his fist down. “Well, look at it this way: she could have already aborted your kid for you, just like you demanded she do. Maybe it’s already over. Who knows what she did after you left her alone, scared and pregnant.”

  Jason stiffened his spine. His heart clenched. “Christine wouldn’t do that.”

  “And why wouldn’t she? You told her to. You told her she trapped you and then you walked out. And wouldn’t that make you happy? You’d be free to live your life again, and all it would cost you would be one little baby and Christine.”

  Bill threw change down on the counter, obviously about to storm out of there.

  Jason swallowed over the lump in his throat and muttered, “It might not be mine.”

  Bill’s eyes widened in horrified circles. He paused and slowly sat back down. “Come again? It might be Trent’s?”

  He nodded, a knot in his throat. Bill took a breath while he too finished his beer. Jason slammed the empty glass down with a thud. “I didn’t let her talk until I accused her of doing it on purpose, and that she wasn’t telling me because she was going to wait until it was too late to have an abortion.”

  “And how did she react?”

  “She denied it immediately.” His tone lacked any inflection.

  “And then you walked out?”

  “No. She told me it could just as easily be Trent’s bastard as mine.”

  Silence met his crude pronouncement. Bill put a hand on his shoulder. Jason jerked at the surprise contact. Bill pressed harder, his hand warmer. Why did Bill stay and listen to this shit? Why did Bill care about him? How could he? How could anyone?

  “Did you mean everything you said?” Bill asked finally, gently.

  Jason’s shoulders slumped forward. He stared into his empty cup. “No.”

  Bill nodded. “So what are you more afraid of? Her being pregnant, or that you thought she lied to you?”

  He turned, meeting Bill’s gaze, and confusion lined his face.

  “Come on, Jason, I know you. You automatically assumed she lied, she trapped you, and she was like everyone else in your life and out to get you. And any rational thought left your brain. You felt trapped, and instead of talking to her, you attacked her back before she could hurt you anymore. Any of this ring true?”

  He hesitated but finally nodded.

  “So you said every outrageous, awful thing you could think of to hurt her as much as you were hurting. Correct? To disillusion her as you were disillusioned about her.”

  “Maybe,” he finally relented.

  “Did you mean what you said to her?” Bill repeated.

  “No,” he said, more sure this time.

  “Good. I believe her, I believe Christine. She wouldn’t have done that to you. She knows this would be the last way to get you.”

  Jason shifted again.

  “How long had she known?”

  “A week or so.”

  “Christ, Jason, then she hadn’t even had time to process it, let alone figure out how to tell you so you wouldn’t flip out on her.”

  “She said she was in love with me.”

  “Yes. Well, she told me that months ago.”

  “What?” Jason’s head whipped around to stare at Bill.

  He shrugged under Jason’s furious stare. “For whatever reason, she gets you and likes you, which is a lot more than I can say for you about her. Didn’t it even cross your mind to listen to her?”

  Jason shook his head, the truth about how selfish he was slamming into his gut.

  “Do you think maybe she was telling the truth? Has she ever lied to you before?”

  “No.”

  “Yeah, so what makes you think she’d start lying to you now? When are you going to start acknowledging how the people who love you feel? You can’t just steamroll everyone around you because you hurt. That’s not fair, and it’s cruel. Hell, kid, me and my wife have loved you like our own son and you’ve never once acknowledged that.”

  He looked up again.

  “Yeah, that’s right. You ever wonder why I took you on when I caught you stealing cars out of my lot?”

  “Yes. I’ve wondered.” He glanced at Bill from the corner of his eye and then stared straight ahead.

  “Jenny and me tried for ten years to have a baby. We couldn’t. And then you came along. You were all screwed up and angry, but you needed someone. I could see it in your eyes; you just didn’t want to need anyone. You became a distraction at first, but as more time went by, Jenny and me made you the child we could never have. Do you think we just invited you to every holiday, our vacations, even your own damned birthday, out of pity for you? No, we loved you, still love you. While you were resenting the hell out of Terry and his family and hating your mother and life in general, we were trying to get through to you.”

  Jason stared long and hard at the man who had saved his life more times than he deserved. “Is that true?” he finally asked in disbelief, his voice almost a whisper.

  “Yes, it is, and when I call you ‘son’ it’s because I mean it.”

  “I didn’t know. About you wanting a baby, or...”

  “Us caring about you so much?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, it’s true. And when you met Christine, we thought finally you’d come out of that armor you had built around yourself. And you were, slowly. She was willing to put up with all your attitude. And then you do this to her. I’m disappointed in you, Jason. But that doesn’t change how much I love you.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t deserve it.”

  Bill sighed wearily. “I know you really think that. You’ve got to stop it. Christine knows you think it too; that’s why she was trying so hard to convince you do deserve to be loved.”

  “I don’t know what to do.”

  “I know you don’t. I know that’s why you automatically were awful to her.”

  “She’ll never forgive me,” he said finally.

  “Yes, she will. She loves you, you just have to trust her on that. She loves you and even understands you. You have to apologize, to tell her what happened, and that you won’t do that to her again.”

  “Why would she forgive me? I once promised her I wouldn’t react without hearing her out first. I didn’t hear her out and I said awful things to her. I wouldn’t forgive me if this was reversed.”

  “I know, but most people aren’t as rigid and unforgiving as you.”

  “What do I do?”

  “First you sober up, try taking a shower, and then you go to her.”

  “Bill?” Jason stared at his the bar.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks. I...”

  Bill put a hand to his shoulder and squeezed. “Always and anytime, kid.”

  ****

  She hadn’t slept for days except for a few fitful hours here and there. She went to bed that night thinking of what she’d tell her parents. How would she explain the fact that she was not only pregnant, but unsure of which brother she was having it with? They didn’t like her choices before, then what were they going to say about all this? Whatever they were going to say, she deserved it.

  She finally fell asleep. It felt like only a minute later when her exhausted and very noticeably sick body woke her up while it was still dark out. She glanced over at the clock as she pushed a fistful of hair out of her eyes. It was nearly four o’clock. Why was she awake?

  She froze when she heard a strange noise. Just where it was coming from she wasn’t sure. She sat on her bed as she tried to place what she was hearing and find a reasonable explanation for it.

  Had Jason come for her finally? Her heart leaped at the
thought.

  She got up and walked across her room and into the living room. It was empty and dark, just as she’d left it. Cautiously she grabbed her cell phone off the counter and opened the drapes a crack and peeked out. It was empty out front.

  She heard it again. It sounded like it was coming from around the back of the garage. She crept towards her front door and started to cautiously turn the doorknob when it was suddenly jerked from her grasp with sickening speed, and simultaneously a hand reached around the door to grab her wrist, and yank her out to the landing.

  Before she understood what was happening, someone punched her. And then she was being pushed away from the dark figure attacking her. Her brain couldn’t catch up with what was being done to her. She screamed. She was falling. She grabbed blindly, frantically, towards the very figure that had struck her. She grabbed empty air. She fell back. She hit a stair and slid rapidly, tumbling down in a heap of arms and legs. The next instant her head hit a stair with jaw-breaking force. She blacked out before she even stopped tumbling.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Jason was always first to work to open up the shop for the day. He flipped on the lights in the office, started coffee, and glanced through the orders on Bill’s desk to see what was in line for the day.

  His concentration had been shot to hell the last week and today was no different. He had a burning urge for a cigarette. He flipped the paper in his hand onto the desk and wandered out to the shop area, then out the back door to where he always smoked. From there he had a direct view of Christine’s apartment door.

  He stopped. Why was Christine’s car still parked there? He glanced up. There was no light coming out of her apartment. Was she sick again? Was it caused by the pregnancy? Was last time caused by the pregnancy? The thoughts swirled in his head. If so, then it was definitely not his kid. Still, it didn’t change the fact that she was there.

  What should he do? Should he go up to her? What would he say? He didn’t know when he’d be able to get over this gut-twisting anger. But he didn’t like the thought of her sick, alone, and pregnant. And right above him.

  The last few days had literally felt like his heart was tearing out of him each time he thought of her. His gaze skipped listlessly around her car and apartment as he lit a cigarette. He was full of restless energy with nowhere to put it as he contemplated her car. He walked around it, thumping her tire, annoyed that he didn’t know what to do. But going back to work with her still here seemed impossible.

  When he came around the hood of her car he found Christine’s body. He blinked once, making sure his eyes were seeing what his brain was telling him. His heart felt like it stopped pounding mid-pump and then jerked erratically into hyper speed.

  Christine was lying at the bottom of the stairs, unmoving.

  He was beside her in three steps. She was lying on her stomach, her arms and legs limp around her, her profile to him. He glanced back at the stairs and his heart plummeted. She must have fallen down them. He pictured her from yesterday: flustered, missing a step, harmlessly dropping her purse. And he’d stood there, unmoving, no acknowledgment, doing nothing to help her.

  He lifted a hand to her neck and said a short thanks when he felt her pulse. There was a gash along her forehead that had left a trail of dried blood over her face and hair. Her lip was cracked, and bruises covered the hand that lay closest to him. He was about to gather her into his arms when he stopped dead. He shouldn’t move her. He pulled out his cell phone to call for help.

  He sat beside her on the cold, damp pavement. He wasn’t able to do anything more than cover her up. He felt sick as he looked at her helplessly, doing nothing more for her than waiting for help to arrive.

  The ambulance and medics were a blur. He stood off to the side, useless and aching. Desperate for her to be all right. The ambulance pulled away only moments after arriving.

  He ran up to her apartment. The door was unlocked. The inside was messier than usual, he realized, and there were muddy male footprints on the linoleum floor. He came through, adding his own. He scanned the counter for her phone until he found what he was looking for. He called her parents for the first time. He told them what had happened. He then called Bill and headed after Christine.

  Only as he was running down the stairs did it occur to him she had on her nightgown. What had Christine been doing, coming out during the night?

  ****

  Every nerve ending in him was screaming that she had to be okay.

  It seemed like forever to get to the hospital. He was held up by morning commuters. He drove white-knuckled and reckless. He was nearly panicked by the time he pulled into the hospital parking lot. He parked and sprinted across the lot. It wasn’t crowded, and a miserable drizzle was falling from dark clouds overhead. He raced down the corridor following the signs to the hospital’s emergency room. When he turned the corner he stopped dead.

  Everyone had beaten him there.

  Bill was there, along with Trent, and Terry. The Andrews were walking out of a room and into the corridor with a doctor who turned to include Trent and Terry in his conversation. Jason came up behind the group, unnoticed.

  He listened. His blood quit pumping in his veins. He remembered the baby then. He hadn’t given it a thought in his concern over Christine. But a fall like that... His heart sank just as the doctor started updating Trent, with the Andrews’ permission. Christine had a broken leg, multiple contusions, and most alarming was the baby didn’t have a heartbeat. She had bruising around her abdomen like she’d been hit with extreme force. More than the doctor would have suspected from a fall down a flight of stairs. Typically miscarriages didn’t result from falls like this. She was groggy and out of it. They had sedated her, but she’d need to talk about her options soon… all of which Jason didn’t understand. He had to lean a hand onto the wall because he was suddenly so dizzy he thought he’d fall over. They kept talking something about a procedure called a D&C which the doctor explained would remove tissue from inside her uterus. Jason’s stomach cramped as he pictured just what that tissue was. Her dead baby.

  Her mother visibly flinched and stepped back. “As I told you in there. My daughter is not pregnant. This has to be a mistake.”

  “Yes, she is.” Trent spoke up his tone clear and confident.

  The doctor turned to Trent. “Are you the father?”

  “Yes,” Trent answered. Her parents both gasped. The doctor then directed the conversation to him. Her parents leaned into each other, their shock and grief clearly showing on their faces. They were completely blindsided by all this.

  Jason stood back silent. He saw the closeness between the families. He watched Trent be showered with concern. He didn’t care. His hands clenched at his sides. He had only ever cared about Christine. He loved her. Didn’t he? Didn’t this have to be love, what he felt for her? He wasn’t sure, but what else could this gut-wrenching pain be, if not love? He could barely process what the doctor said his head buzzed so sharply with pain.

  He’d been such a stubborn, obstinate ass, that he’d given her nothing but grief and disappointment along the way. But she’d stuck it out with him. Until he’d left her when she’d needed him the most. And now she’d lost a baby he’d told her not to have. He had accused her of terrible things. The gravity of what he’d said and done finally registered with him. He shut his eyes as the pain stabbed into his brain.

  “Get the hell out of here.”

  He jerked his head up and opened his eyes. Trent stood in front of him. Trent’s exclamation had drawn all eyes to them.

  “Who is this, Trent?” Kay Andrews asked, staring up at him, tears still glistening in her eyes.

  “He’s my brother Jason Malone,” Trent said, glancing first at Jason and then at Christine’s parents.

  “Your brother? I’ve never heard anything about a brother,” Aaron said, stepping forward.

  “Because Trent pretends I’m not,” Jason said, as he stepped closer to Aaron Andrews.

&n
bsp; “So? Who are you to my daughter?”

  “I’ve been dating her.”

  “What?” The horror in Kay’s tone made Jason want to groan. “My God. She had a secret life.”

  “No. She didn’t want to upset you more about her sudden life changes by adding me to the mix.”

  “Dating?”

  “Yeah, right, that’s what she was doing with Jason. Dating.”

  “She cheated on you?” Kay nearly screeched it at Trent.

  “Well, you don’t think she was with this man for his intelligent conversation, do you? He’s an ex-convict, and his career as a car mechanic I’m sure would make for some stimulating conversation.”

  “That’s enough,” Aaron interrupted. “I don’t care how mad you are at her.”

  “I’m not mad at her. I was disappointed in her. But not anymore. She told me about our baby and we were going to reconcile. Jason was just a temporary lapse in her judgment. A terrible distraction from her real life.”

  “Did you say convict?” Kay asked.

  “Yeah, he said ex-convict,” Jason said, seeing no point in denying it. There was nothing he could say to explain that away. To explain why Christine had never told them about him. To explain that Jason and Christine were far more than Trent and Christine had ever been. From Christine’s parents’ point of view, he was just more proof that Christine had lost her mind.

  His head reeled as every awful word he’d said to Christine about the baby replayed through his mind. That’s what was important, not his and Trent’s feud. A hand tugged on his arm. Bill. Bill didn’t say anything, didn’t have to. Jason looked away. He hung his head.

  Then he simply spun on his heel and left. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t stand around some hospital discussing his most private life with strangers. With people who didn’t know him and would never give him a chance. He went to the elevator and punched the button several times, hard enough to break it. He paced, ready to punch one of the white creamy walls.

  Only he wasn’t alone. As he turned again he found the whole troop of them standing there like a team, ready take him on. He sighed. His thoughts were all mixed up. There was blatant confusion in her parents’ eyes and anger in Trent and Terry’s. Bill was off to the side of them, and Jason took a little comfort from Bill looking like he was ready to go bat against all four of them.