Forever Altered

by D. J. Pierson

  “Um, yes. I do.” I nervously open my workbook and try to figure out what page the lab is on instead of why this guy recognizes me.

  “I was the guy who asked you about the Phillies because you were hanging up your shirt.” Then after a long pause he adds, “The lab is on page twenty five.” Shit! Can he read my mind, too? Now I vaguely remember this guy. It was right after listening to a voicemail from Jeff. He was still begging for me to talk to him and I had been upset at the time. The only reason I went down to get my clothes when the timer went off was because if you didn’t get your laundry out in an acceptable amount of time, someone else would. I really didn’t feel like being bothered by some stranger even if he happened to be talking about my favorite baseball team.

  “Oh, right.” He glances up and looks almost like he is offended that I didn’t recognize him. He goes back to what he is doing. “I’m sorry,” feeling the need to apologize. “I was having a bad day.” I pause for a second. “Actually, it’s been a really bad month,” I admit reluctantly.

  He stops fussing with the microscope he is trying to set up and looks directly at me again. “Anything you want to talk about?”

  “So, you’re a super hero lab partner and a shrink all rolled into one?” I inquire.

  Rocco lets out a small laugh and jokes, “I’ll just stick with ‘super hero lab partner.’” Then he mumbled something that sounded almost like ‘for now.’ “So, you’re really bad at this, huh?” I nod afraid he is about to change his mind and head back to his old seat. “Is that why your old partner dropped?”

  “Probably,” I counter making him laugh more.

  “Alright, then, how about I do this and you just record the stuff I tell you?” He’s still smiling, so hopefully he doesn’t think I’m a total idiot.

  “Sounds good,” I’m able to say.

  I am a little skeptical when forty-five minutes later the last empty line is filled in on the worksheet. There is still about an hour left in class. “That’s it?” I ask. We both begin to clean up the slides Rocco had made and then explained to me as we viewed them under the microscope. For the first time all semester, I understood the experiment.

  “That’s it,” he declares like it is no big deal. I look around. The rest of the class is still working.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Positive.” He smiles that lopsided, make-my-breath-catch grin before continuing. “You don’t believe me? I haven’t gotten anything less than a B since the first day of class,” he says pretending to be insulted.

  I laugh at him and play punch him in the arm, which is firmer than I thought it would be. Damn, this guy is hot. “Do you want me to copy all of the data into your book for you? I promise to make it neat,” I tease.

  “No, we can do it when we get together to write up the report. No big deal.” He shakes his head then he walks away to put the microscope back in the cabinet. When he gets back to our table, he starts packing up his bag.

  “Do you want me to write it up since you basically did the entire experiment by yourself? All I did was write some stuff down.”

  Rocco seems nervous as he finishes packing up and pulls his bag onto his shoulder. I guess he didn’t trust his grade with someone who admitted to having trouble in this class. Can't say that I blame him, but it still feels crappy. All my life school work has come easy and the one time I have trouble, it gets thrown in my face.

  “No, I don’t mind helping,” he manages to say as he starts walking towards the door. I follow without even thinking about it.

  “I could write it up and give it to you ahead of time to check it over, if you prefer?”

  He instantly turns around with his brows drawn inward and clears up what he means. “I didn’t mean for that to sound like I thought you aren’t capable of doing it. I just meant you shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

  “You should make me do something. You did the whole lab while I just sat there.”

  He smiles down at me as he puts his hand out gesturing for me to go first through the door and down the hallway. “You helped. You wrote the stuff down and you even managed to write it down correctly. I kept an eye on you.”

  I actually laugh a little despite the fact that he is making fun of me. “I happen to be a very good record keeper.” That makes him laugh again.

  “So, when are you free to get together?”

  “Well, um, I’m done class tomorrow at five and I’m off on Fridays. How about you?” He means to work on the assignment I keep chanting to myself. We make it to the front door of the building and he reaches out to open it for me. “Thanks,” I murmur.

  “No problem,” he utters like it was no big deal. “How about I swing by your apartment around five-thirty, after your class tomorrow?” Rocco glances at me briefly before turning forward as we walk down the path toward the apartment building, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Jeans that happen to look really, really good on him. Thankfully he looks away because my anxiety started again. There wasn’t anyone home except me on Thursdays at that time. I don’t really know this guy and it would be uncomfortable being alone with him. He speaks again before getting an answer. “I’d tell you to come to my apartment, but I wouldn’t want you to go to an apartment with a bunch of guys you don’t know. And I’m pretty sure your apartment is cleaner than ours.”

  “Okay. Come to my apartment tomorrow at five thirty,” I agree. I’ve seen my ex’s apartment at his school. Guys living on their own should not be allowed.

  “I’ll give you my cell number. I don’t really check my room phone very often. This way if something changes, you can let me know.”

  I pull out my cell and punch his number into my contacts. Then send him a text so he has mine, too. No reason to sit around all night if he has something else to do. That’s what I tell myself about giving him my number anyway.

  Rocco’s face lights up when he realizes what I did. “Thanks,” is all he says and he turns away from me again.

  As we come to the spot on the path that either leads to the residential side of campus or to the main academic building, a bunch of guys are walking toward us. They apparently know Rocco. “Hey, man. We were just heading to lunch. You coming?” one of them calls as two others whisper to each other staring at me. I feel extremely uncomfortable knowing they are talking about me. Rocco must notice too because his shoulders and jaw seem to tense and he moves to stand in front of me blocking my view of them, or their view of me. I wasn’t sure which.

  “Yeah, I’ll go.” He turns back to me and quietly says, “I’ll see you later. Let me know if anything changes.”

  “Okay and thanks for your help today.” I hear the two guys chuckling and the first guy looks over at them to see what is so funny. Rocco simply nods before turning to walk away.

  As I turn toward the steps Rocco says, “She’s just my lab partner. Knock it off, asshole.” I don’t look back. Hurt is probably all over my face. What the hell is wrong with me? I just met this guy about an hour ago. Why would I feel insulted that he called me just his lab partner? That’s what I am, right? I concentrate on the long flight of steps in front of me careful not to fall on my face. No need to give those guys more to laugh about.

  Chapter Two

  Alyssa

  I walk around the front of the new, brick building trying to block out the last five minutes of my morning. It had warmed up quite a bit since being outside a few hours earlier. Maybe after going to the Dining Hall with Leah, I could find a place to sit outside and get some homework done or start the book she has been talking about. Before heading up to my apartment, I decide to check my mailbox on the main floor. I hadn’t done that for a while, not that anyone sends me anything. No one really uses regular mail anymore, so what’s the point?

  The building consists of two large wings, each of which are connected to a central structure which houses the mailroom, other common areas, and the main entrance. I enter the office to the left of the main entryway, on the side of the huge
lounge with a big screen TV. It takes me a few seconds to dig my mailbox key out of my bag and get the metal mailbox open. When it opens, a bunch of colored envelopes fall all over the ground in front of me. There are at least ten of them. There must be a mistake, so I check the name on all of them. Nope, no mistake and all of them have the same return address that makes me want to throw them in the trash. Right before tossing them in the can by the door, I reconsider. With my luck, someone would dig them out, so I decide to take them back to my room. As I’m heading out of the mail office, the girl who works there is coming in.

  “You must be mailbox one twenty-two,” she says as she looks at the pile of envelopes in my hand.

  “Yep. That’s me. Sorry about all of this,” I mumble trying to walk passed her.

  “I was getting ready to look you up and deliver them to you. You really should check your mail more often.”

  “I’ll do that,” I say nicely even though she’s starting to annoy me.

  “You have a pretty awesome boyfriend if he’s always sending you cards. How romantic!” She smiles at me and now I have a sudden urge to stab her in the eye with my key.

  “Ex-boyfriend, actually,” I correct her.

  “Oops. I’m sorry. He must really want you back. No one gets that much mail in a month here.” She’s embarrassed and now I feel bad. Why did my stupid conscience always pick the worst moment to show itself? This girl really needs to mind her own business, though.

  “No biggie. Have a nice day,” I offer with a small smile, ignoring everything she said after apologizing.

  I am heading toward the stairs to get to the second floor when my iPhone buzzes. Leah, Julia, and Erin are my only friends here at school who have my cell number and they think I’m still in class, so it’s not them. My dad is at work and usually only calls or texts me at night. I haven’t really spoken to my friends from home since deactivating my Facebook account right after breaking up with Jeff. He’s the only one who it could possibly be. I may as well check it before the reminder beep goes off. I swing my backpack around and pull my phone out of the front pocket. What is displayed on the screen makes me almost miss the last step and I stumble.

  That was the most fun I’ve ever had in lab. Thx.

  Oh my God! Did Rocco seriously just text me? Remembering his friends were giving him a hard time about me, the thought it could be one of them crosses my mind. Did they see him give me his number? I’m not sure because I didn’t notice they were there until they started calling his name. There is no way I could text back if it were them, but what if it was Rocco? Would I want him to be texting me? Before swiping my key card in the door, I only send back a smiley face and then switch my phone to silent. If it wasn’t him, what comes back would probably be humiliating. A smiley face? How stupid!

  I go inside of my apartment and Leah is sitting at our table finishing up her makeup and watching a game show. She looks up to me, then at the clock on the DVD player underneath our small TV, then back to me.

  “Alyssa, what is that on your face?” Oh no! My hand not carrying the envelopes goes right to my face trying to feel for something. Was there something on my face the whole time I was with Rocco? She’s laughing at me.

  “What?” I ask impatiently.

  “You’re smiling. What’s got you in such a good mood, today?” Feeling relieved that is all she was referring to, I frown at her for causing about the hundredth mini panic attack of the day. She has seen my looks before. She ignores me and goes back to putting on her lipstick. Then she notices what’s in my hand. “If what’s in your hand is what I think it is and that’s the reason you’re smiling, I’m going to…”

  After what she just did, I should let her stay angry for a bit, but I don’t feel like dealing with this. I drop the envelopes on the table so she can see them. “Nope. He is still a prick and I’m never speaking to him again.”

  “When is this stupid son of a bitch going to get it?” she asks shuffling through the envelopes. “Seriously. He hasn’t sent you this many cards since you guys started school. Are you going to open them?”

  “No. There is nothing he could possibly have to say that I care to hear.”

  “What if there is something important?”

  After grabbing a cold bottle of Coke, I slide into the chair across from her. “What happened to you not wanting me to be happy with Jeff sending me stuff?”

  “I don’t. Aren’t you just a little curious?”

  “No. Go ahead and open them if you want. Just don’t tell me anything that’s in there.” I drink half the bottle of Coke and try to distract myself from looking at my phone.

  “I’m impressed by your self-control.” She laughs a little. “Okay, now back to why you were smiling when you walked through the door.”

  Damn. Of course she wouldn’t forget. “My Cell Bio lab partner dropped today.”

  “And…” Sometimes I wish she’d mind her own business. Not something best friends do. “I know how much you love that class so you aren’t fooling me. Keep going.” She has finished up her makeup and is heading to our room when she stops. “Wait. Why are you back so early? Please tell me you didn’t drop, too.” I smile at her. “Lyss, you need that class. You cannot just drop it!”

  “I didn’t drop the class.” She sighs and continues on into our room.

  “I’m listening,” she calls from our bedroom.

  “Dr. Willis was telling me in front of the class that my partner dropped. Some guy, who apparently prefers to work alone, felt bad for me and volunteered to be my new lab partner. The reason why I was smiling, Miss Nosy Pants, was because he’s actually pretty smart and helped me understand the lab. It feels great to have an idea what the hell is going on. Anyway, he had the lab done in no time and we were allowed to leave as soon as we were done.”

  “He? Is that why you’re smiling?” she teases.

  “Definitely not. I’ve completely sworn off men, remember?” I follow her into our room and pull out a t-shirt to replace my sweatshirt. Yes, that is how limited my wardrobe is. I start to head into the bathroom to change.

  “So, who is he?” She is seriously going to make me tell her. Hopefully she doesn’t know him.

  “Um, I don’t really know him. Rocco, something or other.” I try to disappear into the bathroom, but she stops right in front of me.

  “Rocco Matthews?”

  “That sounds familiar.” I’m trying to play it off. Lucky me! Of course she knows who he is. She is going to make something out of this and it is most definitely not anything.

  “Rocco Matthews is your new lab partner?” She’s looking at me like I have five heads. “So, what you are trying to tell me is not only is Rocco Matthews your new lab partner, Rocco Matthews volunteered to be your lab partner?”

  “Yeah. I told you. He must have felt bad for me.” Now she has a huge smile. Yes, one of those annoying ear to ear grins like she just found a cure for cancer. “What?” I ask stepping around her to hide in the bathroom.

  “I would be smiling, too, if Rocco Matthews was my lab partner.” I chance a small glance at her and she is still wearing the grin. My face must turn bright red because she starts to laugh, so I slam the door on her. “Oh, come on, Alyssa. You can try to swear off men all you want, but Rocco Matthews is friggin hot.”

  “Yeah, he is.” Julia chimes in through the door just as I’m pulling my t-shirt over my head.

  I throw my head back and sigh. I do not need them tag teaming me right now. After taking my time changing my shirt and stalling for what feels like an hour, I know hiding in the bathroom all day isn’t an option. I open the door and hope they will have pity on me and let this pass. Julia is now perched on my bed and Leah is leaning against our dressers, which are pressed together under the only window in the room, opposite of where the bathroom is.

  “What?” I ask a little irritated that they are both staring at me with stupid grins on their faces.

  “Leah, here, tells me that Mr. Rocco Matthews ‘volunte
ered’ to be your lab partner.” She actually made air quotes with her fingers. I feel myself sigh again. “And that you came home smiling.”

  “Seriously, you two? If you’d like me to go back to moping around, I’ll gladly accommodate you.” I occupy myself with emptying my backpack of my lab workbooks, putting them away in the bottom drawer of my desk, and putting the books for tonight’s class inside. “I was very excited that I finally understood what the hell was going on in lab today. You know how hard this class has been for me. Yes, I get it. Rocco Matthews is good looking, but really?”

  “Really, what?” Leah asks before Julia interrupts.

  “Lyss, I’ve seen Rocco around. He doesn’t do anything for anyone that doesn’t benefit him in some way. From what I’ve heard, he is a total player. He’s never had a girlfriend as far as anyone knows…”

  “Okay. Why are we talking about this?” I have to interrupt before this goes any further. Why we are discussing what Rocco Matthews does or doesn’t do with girls? “What does this have to do with me being his lab partner?”

  Julia continues, “I just want you to be careful. Rocco is a heartbreaker and you’ve had more than enough of that to last a lifetime. I hate seeing you so upset over Jeff. None of us want that to happen to you, again. We love you.” She comes over giving me a hug and a kiss on the top of my head. I smile and hug her back because it’s nice to be loved and cared about even if what she is worried about is not necessary.

  “Thanks, Jules. I love you guys, too. But, seriously, you have nothing to worry about. I am not interested in anyone. I want absolutely nothing to do with any guy right now. I am just really happy that I may actually get an A on a lab.” That will get through to them. They know how much my grades mean to me.

  “Okay, but if you were going to rebound with anyone and not expect anything out of it, Rocco Matthews is definitely the way to go. Just saying.” I can only laugh at Julia because she has a one track mind. With or without a boyfriend.