Her Shameful Secret

by Susanna Carr

  She needed to start making plans. Although she had only promised a few days, Isabella knew she was taking a step back. If she weren’t careful she would promise a few more days, and then a few weeks. She wouldn’t find the strength to break away. She’d be clinging onto this relationship again.

  It was time to create some distance. Isabella slowly moved from Antonio’s embrace. She suddenly felt cold. She wanted to return to Antonio’s bed and curl up against him.

  It was tempting. Isabella wavered for a moment, and was about to lie back down when she felt a wave of nausea. It was a sign of morning sickness she couldn’t ignore. Pressing her hand against her mouth, Isabella hurried back to her room.

  Antonio stretched his tired muscles as a satisfied growl rumbled in his chest. He finally had Isabella back in his bed. All was right with the world, he thought with a lazy smile. He reached for Isabella, wanting to hold her against him and enjoy the feel of her warm skin against his.

  His hand touched the bedsheet. Antonio blinked and opened his eyes. Isabella wasn’t there. The pillow still held an indentation, but the wrinkled sheets were cool. She had slipped out of his bed hours ago.

  What the hell was going on here? Antonio jumped out of bed, his feet hitting the floor as he strode to the door. Isabella had never left him while he slept. If she didn’t wake him up with the sweetest kisses and caresses, he was the one to wake her, in the most wickedly erotic ways. He was getting hard just remembering.

  He reached the guestroom in record time and opened the door without knocking. Isabella was curled up in her bed, sound asleep. “Bella?”

  She raised her head with a start. Her hair was still damp from a shower and a bathtowel was wrapped around her. “Oh, I lay down and fell asleep again,” she said groggily. “What time is it?”

  “Why are you sleeping here?” he asked as he towered over her. “Why did you leave my bed?”

  “Uh, because I wanted to get some rest.” Her eyes widened as her gaze traveled down his naked body. He saw the flare of desire in her eyes and couldn’t hide his response.

  But it didn’t change a very important fact. She’d had sex with him and then she had left. That wasn’t like Isabella. She’d used to burrow as close as she could and cling to him throughout the night. Now she couldn’t get away fast enough. “Bella, do you see me as a one-night stand?”

  “Um …” She shoved her tangled hair from her face.

  “You just wanted one more time before you left? Needed to scratch an itch and nothing more?” He wouldn’t allow it. When they’d been together it had been wild and mind-blowing because there had been no games or limits. Just pure sensation and emotion.

  “What if it was?” she asked with a hint of defiance.

  He was no one-night stand or meaningless fling. Antonio wanted to be the most important person in her life. He was used to being second choice, but not with her. He wanted their past and their future to be inextricably linked. He was prepared to bind her to him in any way possible.

  “Then I will change your mind,” he said, and he flipped the bedsheet over and crawled into her bed.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  ISABELLA tightly held the edges of the towel as she scooted to the edge of the mattress. “Antonio, don’t pretend that this is anything more than what it is.”

  He slid his hands underneath her and pulled her close to him. She wanted to push him away but that would mean losing the towel.

  “Why did you leave our bed?” he asked.

  His tone was firm and it held a dangerous edge that made her hot.

  “Your bed,” she corrected him. They didn’t share anything. Not anymore. It would be good to remember that.

  “Our bed.”

  No, it had never been theirs. It was his bed, his apartment, his world. She was a temporary guest. She didn’t belong here and probably never had.

  “Really? Our bed?” she asked. She struggled to hold her towel in place as he placed a kiss against her collarbone. She felt his smile against her quickened pulse. “How many women have slept there since I’ve been gone?”

  He lifted his head and held her gaze. “Don’t even try,” he warned softly. “I know you want to create a barrier between us. I won’t let you.”

  Isabella gritted her teeth. He had no right. She needed to place a short expiration date on this relationship. If she could even call it that. This time she couldn’t get caught up in a whirlwind affair. She needed a stable environment for her baby.

  She would love to think that they could try again and their affair would last longer. But who was she kidding? Would he want her when she was heavy with child? How long would it be before he needed to marry and have children of his own? She didn’t fit any of the requirements he had for a wife and there was no getting around that.

  “I left because it’s not our bed anymore,” she said. “We are no longer a couple.”

  “We have a connection that can’t be broken.” He threaded his hands through her hair and spread it across her pillow.

  She winced when his fingers got tangled in her hair. “That doesn’t make us a couple.”

  Antonio smoothed his fingertips along the side of her face before cupping her jaw with his strong hand. He tilted her face so she couldn’t look away from his serious gaze. “Why do you think I asked you to stay?”

  “For the sex.” She knew that was the truth. He couldn’t argue with that.

  “And that’s all?” he asked lightly as his hand drifted down her throat to her chest.

  Her skin tingled from his touch and she was having difficulty remembering what they were talking about. She should get out of this bed and into some clothes, but she couldn’t move. She didn’t want to.

  “When we’re together you have the ability to shut out the world,” she said. They both did. Time stood still when they were making love. “You want to do that because you’re dealing with a family crisis. That’s why you want me around. So you can take me to your bed and lose yourself.”

  “I want to make love to you,” he admitted. His fingers dipped behind her towel.

  Isabella’s chest rose and fell as she felt his fingers graze her breasts.

  “But I also want more from you.”

  She swiped her tongue along her bottom lip “More?”

  “I need you at my side,” he confessed in a low, husky voice. “When you’re there, I feel like I can conquer the world.”

  Isabella wanted to believe she had that kind of influence in Antonio’s life, but she knew it wasn’t true. She was an ordinary girl with no special skills or powers. “You don’t rely on anyone, Antonio.”

  “It may not look like it, but I do,” he said as he gently tugged the towel from her slackened grasp. “It meant a lot to me when I could wake up and see you in my bed. When you shared how you felt and what you thought. When you changed the course of your life to be with me.”

  “That was then.” She couldn’t make those sacrifices again.

  “But you’re still looking after me,” he pointed out as he parted the towel and revealed her body to him. Her nipples puckered and his eyes darkened with pleasure. “You delayed your trip back to Los Angeles to be with me. You had no trouble sharing your feelings and thoughts, even though I might disagree. But when I woke up you weren’t in my bed.”

  He hadn’t noticed. He didn’t realize that she was having trouble sharing her fears and dreams. She wasn’t going to tell him. This time she was holding back. She wasn’t giving him everything because she didn’t want to get hurt again.

  “Your bed?” she teased, determined to distract him from the truth. Let him think she was the same as before. It was only for a few days. “I thought it was our bed.”

  Antonio wrapped his hands around her wrists and lifted her arms above her head. She twisted her body in protest, her skin tingling as she thrust out her chest.

  “Stay next time,” he ordered softly.

  “I can’t promise you that.” She wanted to bite her tongue. She shou
ld have just agreed. He wasn’t going to let this go until he got his way.

  “There was a time when you never wanted to leave my bed,” Antonio said as he dipped his head and took her tight nipple in his mouth.

  Pleasure, white-hot and blinding, crackled through her body. “Antonio!” she exclaimed. She tried to pull away, but he held onto her wrists. She arched against him, trying to get closer.

  When he turned his attention to her other breast his touch was just as ruthless as he took her almost to the height of ecstasy. Just when she thought she would shatter he pulled back, denying her release.

  “Please, Antonio,” she said in between gasps as hot pleasure pressed just under her skin. “Let go of me. I want to touch you.”

  Antonio raised his head and she saw the glitter in his eyes. He bestowed upon her a hard, almost brutal kiss before he let go her wrists. She greedily clasped her hands on the back of his head and pressed his mouth on her breast.

  He teased her nipple with the edge of his teeth and grabbed her hips. Her fractured sigh echoed in the quiet room as he urgently caressed her body.

  Antonio pulled away and gazed down at her. His features were carved and taut with desire. “So beautiful,” he murmured as though he were mesmerized.

  He surged forward, capturing her mouth with his, and gently parted her legs with his hands. Antonio pressed his hand against the apex of her thighs and growled his appreciation. She was so aroused that she couldn’t hide it even if she wanted to.

  Antonio plunged his tongue into her mouth and caressed her swollen clitoris. Isabella rocked against his hand as she chased the pleasure coiling low in her pelvis. The sensations were so exquisite that it almost hurt.

  “Now, Antonio,” she said against his mouth. “Take me now.”

  She reached for him, but Antonio ignored her hands. His face was grim as he grasped her waist. He lifted her hips slightly and nestled his erection at the juncture of her thighs.

  Isabella felt the rounded tip of his penis prodding against her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held on tight. She took a deep breath just as he slowly penetrated her.

  Isabella closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip as he stretched and filled her to the hilt. Antonio paused and she felt his muscles twitch as he fought for self-control. His fingers trembled as they dug into her hips.

  Antonio retreated and gave a deep thrust. Her pulse skipped a beat and her breath hitched in her throat as pleasure tightened inside her, ready to spring wildly and explode. He bucked against her and sensations showered through her like fireworks.

  Antonio withdrew slightly before driving into her wet heat. Isabella gasped and dug her nails in his shoulders. One more deep thrust and she knew she would climax hard. She would need Antonio to hold her tight as she splintered into pieces.

  He gave a shallow thrust.

  “More,” she whispered urgently. But Antonio didn’t move. He held her tightly, his muscles shuddering as his restraint started to slip.

  She opened her eyes and his gaze ensnared hers. The stark need in the dark depths was raw and elemental. More powerful than she’d ever seen.

  “First,” he said in a gravelly voice, “tell me why you won’t share my bed.”

  Her eyelashes fluttered as she tried to hide her eyes. Why wouldn’t he let the matter drop? Why did he find it so significant? “What did you say?” she asked as she frantically tried to come up with a believable excuse.

  “I can take you against the window.” He rocked against her tauntingly, reminding her of the pleasures he could give her. “Or on the floor. But you won’t stay in my bed?”

  She shook her head, refusing to meet his eyes that willed her to answer. Need pulsed inside her. “It’s not important.”

  “I disagree. I think it’s very important.” Determination rang clearly in his raspy voice.

  “Please, Antonio.” She desperately bucked her hips, hoping his willpower would give away. “Don’t stop.”

  Tension rolled through him, but Antonio didn’t move. “That’s up to you.”

  “I don’t have a reason,” she said on a sob. She was shaking and her body burned for satisfaction. He couldn’t be this cruel.

  “It’s because you don’t trust me like you used to.” He reached down to where they were intimately joined and pressed his thumb on her clitoris. She shuddered, gasping for air as white-hot pleasure streaked through her. “I’m not going to kick you out of my bed again. I promise.”

  “You can’t give me that kind of guarantee,” she said between gasps. Was that why she’d had the bad dream? Because he had kicked her out of bed once before and knew he could do it again? She couldn’t think straight, was tempted to tell him anything he wanted to know. Her body demanded release.

  “Bella,” his voice was thick and uneven. “Promise me—”

  “Yes! Yes!” she cried out recklessly. “I’ll share your bed.”

  She was rewarded with a series of deep, plunging thrusts. Her body accepted each stroke with unrestrained hunger. She writhed against Antonio, her movements frantic. His unforgiving rhythm made her delirious. Her breath snagged in her chest and a hush blanketed her mind as a violent climax lashed through her.

  Her core clenched and squeezed Antonio. His muscles rippled with a hard tremor and his thrusts were suddenly wild and untamed. Antonio tilted his head back, his eyes shut, the tendons of his neck straining, as he unwillingly surrendered to the demands of his body. His hoarse cry tore at her heart and he gave one final, powerful thrust before tumbling on top of her.

  As she clung to Antonio, Isabella tiredly stroked his sweat-slickened back. She didn’t know if she’d made the right decision. She’d always thought that she learned from her mistakes, but she was right back where she had started. Only this time she wasn’t so naïve. Not that it would help. She was still hopelessly in love with Antonio.

  If only she had more willpower. She shouldn’t have made that promise.

  She didn’t protest when Antonio rolled on his back and gathered her in his arms. She relaxed as she listened to his strong heartbeat. It felt right being with him. She should enjoy it while it lasted. What could possibly happen in two more days?

  “The other bed is so much better,” he said.

  Was he wondering if she would follow through on the promise she’d made in the heat of the moment? “I agree. Much more room.”

  “You should move your things into the master bedroom,” he said as he stroked her back with his strong fingers. “No point in keeping them here.”

  He wasn’t giving her any room to retreat and hide. Antonio was making it clear that they were going to resume where they’d left off.

  “I’m only going to be here for two more days. It’s not worth the effort.”

  His fingers went still against her spine. “Two days?”

  No, no, no. She recognized his tone but was not ready to renegotiate. “Antonio, I’m not staying here any longer. We agreed.”

  Antonio rolled over and braced his arms on either side of her. His abdomen rested lightly against hers as he settled his hips between her thighs. He surrounded her, and she hated how her body softened and yielded to his.

  “About that …” he drawled.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  ANTONIO entered his apartment and heard Isabella’s laughter coming from another room. He imagined the way she would toss back her head and her blonde hair would cascade over her shoulder. She put her whole body into it. It was always a beautiful sight and he couldn’t get enough of it. He did everything he could to keep her laughing.

  He paused at the threshold and allowed the joy of his home to wash over him after a stressful day. The music that blared from Isabella’s MP3 player was fun, vibrant and very American. It should be at odds with his apartment’s décor, but he liked it. It reminded him of Isabella.

  Antonio closed the heavy front door and heard Isabella’s footsteps. She rounded the corner with her usual exuberant style and Antonio stilled at the sight of
her. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and she wore one of his sweaters. It was too big, but the colour brought out the blue in her eyes. The sleeves were folded up and the hem went to her knees. It also concealed her curves. He liked seeing her in his clothes and in his home, but he wanted to see more of her. All of her.

  His gaze traveled down and he gave an appreciative whistle when he saw her legs encased in form-fitting black leggings. “I see you went shopping.”

  “I did,” Isabella said as she draped her arms over his shoulders and leaned into him.

  His hand automatically rested on the small of her back and he drew her close. He took a moment to savor her softness and warmth as she kissed him.

  Antonio deepened the kiss and she matched his eagerness. They hadn’t seen each other all day and all he wanted to do was take her to bed, shut out the world and reacquaint himself with Isabella’s body.

  But he couldn’t do that anymore, Antonio reminded himself and reluctantly pulled away. He’d promised he wouldn’t be selfish and isolate Isabella. He had been good on his word for the past month. Antonio had introduced her to his friends and important business associates. It had been a pleasant surprise to discover that not only was Isabella a natural hostess, but that she had already become close with his friends.

  “What did you do today?” Antonio asked as he smoothed his hand along the curve of her hip.

  “Fia came over for lunch and she took me to some great shops. I needed a couple of things to replace my old clothes. What do you think?” She raised her arms and spun around.

  Antonio saw how his sweater draped over her stomach. His heart skipped a beat as he noticed the small bump.

  Giovanni’s baby.

  He had dreaded this moment because he’d been unable to predict how he would respond. Isabella was now noticeably pregnant with his brother’s child.