Her Shameful Secret

by Susanna Carr

  “Well?” Isabella asked warily.

  He took a step forward and placed his palm gently over her stomach. His large hand rested perfectly against the baby bump. “You look beautiful.”

  She blushed and dipped her head. “Are you sure?”

  Her shyness surprised him. It wasn’t like her. He suddenly understood Isabella’s concern. Did she think she would be less attractive to him? Or that the baby would be a constant reminder of her one night with his brother?

  He didn’t know how to reassure her. The baby wouldn’t come between them. It would bind them closer together. Antonio was about to remove his hand but Isabella placed hers over his fingers. He held her gaze but she didn’t say anything.

  She didn’t have to. At this moment nothing else existed. They were sharing this journey as parents together.

  “I can’t wait to meet this baby,” he confessed. “She’s going to look just like you.”

  “That would be unfortunate if ‘she’ turns out to be a boy.”

  Antonio watched her smile and his heart did a slow tumble. He loved Isabella. Deeply, madly and irrevocably. He wanted to be with her forever—and not because of the baby or the terms of Gio’s will. He wanted to share every moment with her, starting now.

  Antonio must have had an intense look. Isabella frowned and took a step back. “I shouldn’t have stolen your sweater, but it’s so soft and cozy.”

  “What’s mine is yours,” Antonio said, and he meant it.

  Isabella’s eyelashes flickered with uncertainty. Was she uncomfortable because she didn’t think she had anything to give him?

  Then she was wrong. Isabella had made his apartment a home once again. The music, color and laughter seemed brighter this time around. His life had been stagnant and bitter after she had gone. Lonely. Now he felt surrounded by her love.

  Isabella chuckled nervously and pulled at the collar of the sweater. “That’s very generous of you, but I’ll start with the sweater.”

  “You need to think bigger,” he encouraged. “It’s time to make some changes around here.”

  He looked around the apartment and saw the small additions Isabella had made. The big bouquet of yellow and orange flowers made him think of her bold personality. A small picture frame held a photo of the two of them when they’d visited the Trevi Fountain late one night. A bright red throw was casually draped on a chair and he imagined Isabella there moments ago, curled up and waiting for him.

  He also noticed something else. This apartment wasn’t ready for a child. “We need to baby-proof this place. And turn the guestroom into a nursery. Don’t worry about the cost,” he said when he saw Isabella’s eyes widen. “Only the best for this baby.”

  Isabella knew her mouth was hanging open as she stared at Antonio. Had he just said the word nursery?

  “You … you want to do what?”

  “We haven’t done anything to prepare for the baby,” Antonio said as he curled his arm around her shoulder.

  “There’s no need to worry about that,” she said as she looked around the room. She couldn’t imagine a child growing up here. Her child. “I’ve got plenty of time.”

  Antonio’s hand tensed at her choice of pronoun. “The baby arrives in four months.”

  “No, that’s not right. The due date is in late March.”

  “Right. Four months,” he repeated patiently. “It’s already November.”

  Oh, my God. Isabella went rigid as she recalled the date. How had that happened? She had been staying at Antonio’s for more than a month. She’d only been supposed to stay for a few days and then Antonio had suggested she extend it for a weekend. And then another week. After a while she’d stopped asking about the plane ticket. But she couldn’t believe over a month had already passed.

  She was enjoying her stay with Antonio. It was better than anything she had hoped for. In some ways she felt their relationship was much stronger than when she’d first met him. She knew him better and had had a glimpse of his world. She also believed that he would be there for her when she needed him.

  But it was time for her to go. What had started out as a vacation fling had derailed her from her goals. And, as much as she hated to think about it, she was keeping Antonio from what he needed. One day he would have to find a suitable wife.

  “Antonio, I would enjoy tackling that project, but I’m not going to stay here for much longer. In fact, I think I should leave by the end of the week.”

  “I don’t understand,” Antonio said with a fierce frown. “I thought you were happy here?”

  “I am,” she quickly assured him. “These have been the happiest days of my life. But I’ve taken a huge detour from my future plans and it’s time for me to return home.”

  “Is this about returning to college?” he asked. “Because you don’t need a degree. I can take care you and the baby. I want to.”

  But she didn’t want to be a kept woman. She needed to stand on her own two feet and take full responsibility for her child. “I made a promise to my mom. And, actually, it was also a promise to myself. I have to do this.”

  Antonio sighed. “I can’t talk you out of it, can I?”

  He could. That was part of the problem. She hugged him tightly and rested her head against his shoulder. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “I want you to visit Rome during your next Spring Break.”

  “I can’t travel that late in my pregnancy.” And she was worried that if she returned to Rome she would be reminded of everything she’d given up and wouldn’t finish her college education.

  “Then I will visit Los Angeles and be there for the birth,” he promised.

  “Sure.” But she wouldn’t hold him to his promise. He led a busy life that offered a great deal more than she could. She wasn’t naïve. Long-distance relationships didn’t work with someone like Antonio. Once she left Rome she would be out of sight and out of mind.

  “I mean it, Bella. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  TODAY was her last day with Antonio.

  It hadn’t quite sunk in, Isabella thought as she lay in bed watching the sunrise over Rome. She wanted to create some lasting memories. She wanted to remember Antonio’s passion and heat. She needed to touch and taste him one last time. It was her wish to end the relationship on a kiss and then she could say goodbye.

  Isabella reached out and cupped Antonio’s jaw. The dark stubble was rough against her soft palm. She stroked the sharp angles and hard planes of his face, remembering the lines fanning his eyes when he smiled and the grooves bracketing his mouth when he frowned. She was going to miss his scowls as much as his sexy, slow smiles.

  She lowered her head and brushed her lips against his. Isabella didn’t know how she was going to live without Antonio’s kisses again. Whenever he claimed her mouth with gentle seduction, or with hot, pulsing need, it was like an electric current snaked through her veins. She felt wildly alive each time Antonio touched her.

  Isabella lips grazed Antonio’s mouth again and she felt his body shift. “Bella …” he said in a sleepy growl.

  Her breath hitched in her throat as a bittersweet ache filled her chest. She loved the way he said her name. It was a mix of masculine satisfaction and adoration. She hoped that it would always be that way when he thought of her.

  Isabella trailed her hand down the thick column of his neck and memorized the strong lines and bronze skin. She gave a start when Antonio draped his arm around her waist and his fingers spanned her side. She felt the possessiveness in his touch through her T-shirt.

  She glanced up at his face and her gaze collided with his. The sleep faded from his eyes and he studied her face with serious intent.

  Isabella lowered her lashes, veiling her eyes from him. She didn’t want him to read her thoughts. Her sadness.

  Her hand stilled against his chest as Antonio bunched her T-shirt in his fist. “Why,” he asked softly, “do you hide underneath this when you know I want you
naked in bed?”

  She smiled at the teasing quality in his voice. “I wear it so you will have the pleasure of taking it off me.” That was partly true. What she didn’t add was that she wore an oversized T-shirt to conceal her baby bump.

  “No, you do it because you want to tease me.” He let go of the cotton and tucked both his hands under his head. “This time I want you to take it off.”

  A wicked curl of excitement unfurled low in her pelvis. Antonio didn’t simply want her to strip for him. He wanted her to express how she was feeling—or rather how he made her feel.

  Isabella knelt beside Antonio on the mattress, her gaze never leaving his. She reached for the hem of her shirt. Her fingers flexed against the cotton. Today she wouldn’t hold back.

  She slowly raised the shirt, sensuously rolling her hips and arching her spine as anticipation sizzled in her veins. She felt Antonio’s hot gaze on her skin. It made her feel scandalous and beautiful. She wasn’t worried about her pregnant belly. Isabella thrust her breasts out and stretched as she freed herself of the shirt.

  Antonio didn’t move but watched in intense silence as she tossed the shirt onto the floor. She was naked before him. Instead of feeling shy, she felt gloriously alive.

  Heat suffused her skin as she caressed her collarbone and shoulders. He was unnaturally still as he watched her. His harsh features and radiating tension were subtle responses. She didn’t want that. She wanted to shatter that self-control once and for all.

  Isabella massaged the tips of her breasts just like Antonio would. She bit her lip and moaned as her nipples stung. Antonio’s chest rose and fell as he watched her hands trail down her body. Isabella felt like a harem girl pleasing her master. She felt powerful but submissive. Daring yet obedient. She wanted to give Antonio his fantasy, but at the same time she wanted to make him beg.

  She skimmed her fingers along her pelvic bone. Just when she was about to cup her sex with her hand she changed her mind. She grasped Antonio’s hard erection that angled toward his flat stomach. Antonio gasped, his hips vaulting off the mattress as she curled his fingers around his thickness.

  Isabella pumped her hand with slow deliberation. She watched Antonio’s eyes squeeze shut as his mouth slackened. His big hands clenched the pillow under his head. She was fascinated as she watched pleasure and agony chase across his face.

  She bent down and wrapped her lips around the tip of his penis. Antonio’s jagged breath was the sweetest sound to her ears. She sighed with delight as his large hands knotted in her hair. His fingers twisted with every swirl of her tongue and the deep draw of her mouth.

  Isabella felt the tremors storm through his hard body and heard his uneven breath. He was so close to surrendering to her. She felt his hands dig into her shoulders as he urgently dragged her up his body.

  She gave a cry of complaint. As much as she wanted to lie with him naked, she was determined to give him everything he desired. She wished she was bold enough to show him, tell him how she felt.

  Driven by an urgency that scared her, Isabella pressed her mouth against Antonio’s ear. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage and her nerves tingled just under her skin.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  Antonio didn’t move. Isabella’s heart lurched and plummeted. At that moment she felt more exposed than when she had stripped off her clothes. She was glad she’d had the courage to finally tell Antonio, and she refused to regret her impulsive words, but she didn’t dare look at him.

  She flinched when he cradled her jaw with unsteady hands. She kept her gaze lowered, not willing to see if there was rejection or indifference in his eyes. She was unprepared when Antonio covered her mouth with his. The kiss was raw and untamed. Isabella felt weak as the heat rushed in her blood.

  Antonio’s hands were everywhere, drawing her closer, molding her body against his. She wanted to melt into him. She wanted to be a part of him forever.

  When he anchored his heavy leg against hers Isabella knew Antonio was about to take all control away from her. She was tempted to be swept away one last time, but today she wanted to focus all her love and attention on Antonio.

  Isabella moved swiftly and escaped Antonio’s embrace. Before he could protest or pin her down she straddled his hips. His hands fell on her waist, his fingers digging into her skin as she slowly sank down on his erection.

  She closed her eyes as Antonio’s groan echoed around her. Hot pleasure bloomed inside her, pressing heavily until she thought every inch of her skin would blister. She tentatively rolled her hips and was immediately rewarded with a deep thrust from Antonio.

  He gained a firmer hold on her hips and lifted her slightly before he bucked hard against her. White-hot sensations rippled through her center, zooming to the top of her head and the soles of her feet.

  She rocked her hips faster, compelled to follow an elemental rhythm. She couldn’t get enough of Antonio writhing underneath her. She felt like she was harnessing his power and making it hers. No, she realized as she swiped her hair from her eyes. She was making Antonio hers.

  He sat up and her eyes were level with his. Antonio guided her hips to counter each savage thrust. She placed her hands on his jaw and kissed his mouth.

  “I love you so much, Antonio,” she said against his lips.

  His fingers bit into her skin as he ground his mouth against hers. She matched his raw passion with every kiss, every touch and roll of her hips. The need clawed inside her, stripping her control to ribbons. She arched her spine and tilted her head back just as a ferocious climax screamed through her. Her body clenched, her mind went blank and her skin went hot and cold. Antonio burrowed his face against her breasts, his stubble rasping against her as he let out a hoarse cry of triumph.

  Time stood still for Isabella. She wanted to hold on to this moment but it was already slipping away. She clung to Antonio as he guided her back onto the mattress. She curled up next to him and pressed her face against his sweat-slicked chest. She inhaled his scent and closed her eyes.

  This was how she wanted to end their affair. No tears, no drama. This was how she needed to say goodbye.

  But she had to say it one more time, even if Antonio’s breathing indicated he was falling back to sleep. She had to do it now because she wouldn’t get another chance.

  Isabella looked up at Antonio. His eyes were closed and his features were softened in sleep. “I love you, Antonio,” she whispered. “I will always love you.”

  Hours later, Isabella stood on Antonio’s balcony which overlooked Rome. The November breeze was crisp but she didn’t go back inside. Her mood was quiet and reflective as she waited for Antonio to finish his phone call and leave his study. She knew he was a busy and important man, but she resented how his business intruded. She didn’t want to share Antonio’s time and attention while they were leaving for the airport.

  Isabella glanced down at her clothes, wishing she had something sleek and sophisticated to wear. Something glamorous that he’d always remember instead of her usual jeans and T-shirt. The sweater did nothing to add to her appearance. It was black, bulky, and it hid her baby bump.

  She absently rubbed her belly, excited and nervous about her growing baby. The changes in her body were a physical reminder that it was time to move on. She had been greedy and stayed longer than she should. She didn’t want to outstay her welcome and ruin these memories.

  “Bella, you must be freezing,” Antonio said as he stepped onto the balcony. “What are you doing out here?”

  “I just wanted one more look,” she said. To her horror, she felt her eyes water and her throat constrict with emotion.

  Isabella ducked her head and reached for her backpack. She tried to focus on something else and keep her hands busy. She checked once again that she had her passport, ticket and money. As she was about to put them away something caught her notice.

  “Antonio?” Isabella frowned as she read the printout in her hand. She straightened to her full height and looked
at him. She tried not to think how masculine and powerful he looked in his dark suit and tie. “Is this a first-class ticket?”

  “Yes,” he answered abstractedly as he looped a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear. His fingertips brushed her throat and lingered.

  Isabella took a step away as dread settled in her stomach. That had to have cost thousands of dollars. Money she didn’t have yet. Money she’d need for her baby. “You shouldn’t have done that,” she admonished in a hushed tone.

  He shrugged and reached for her free hand, slid his fingers between hers. “You wouldn’t accept my private plane,” he reminded her as his thumb caressed her skin.

  “I can’t accept it, Antonio.” It was going to take a long time before she would have the money from Giovanni’s will. There were strict rules about how she could spend the money. She could use it to raise her baby but not repay a personal debt. “It’s going to take me forever to pay off this ticket.”

  “I don’t want you to repay me.” He raised her hand to his mouth and pressed his lips against her knuckles.

  She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. It was tempting to accept his offer. She was going to be a poor student for a while. She needed all the help she could get. But she’d made a deal and she wanted to honor it. “It’s too expensive.”

  His hand tightened against hers. Isabella flinched and lifted her head to look at him. His expression was closed and she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

  “Then don’t use it,” he said.

  Isabella blinked and gave him a small smile. “And do what instead? Swim my way back to Los Angeles?” she asked lightly.

  She felt the nervous energy simmering in Antonio as he braced his shoulders. “You could stay.”

  She stared at Antonio’s profile. He wasn’t looking at her but she saw the ruddy streaks against his cheekbones and the tension in his jaw. If she didn’t know any better she’d think he was feeling shy.

  Stay? Hope blossomed through her body. She tried to tamp down her growing excitement. She could have misunderstood his offer, but was he offering something more than affair? More than a duty to her and her child?