The Knight Behind the Pillar

by John Pateman-Gee

“Not true.” Arthur snapped with intent.

  “Alright, well, I suppose so,” I recoiled a little, “But why don’t you ask him or even order him to tell you everything?”

  Arthur looked thoughtful again. “I don’t think once I leave here I am going to get a chance to escape without at least Kay or Father around me for a while.”

  “Art come on!” Kay shouted across.

  “I see what you mean,” I acknowledged Kay’s well timed shout as he now found himself alone. Then I agreed more definitely. “I will ask him and let you know what I find out, but not sure when I can, so it might be a while, or when I might get to speak with you again. Looks like I have two people I need to find.”

  “Two?” Asked Arthur was quick to question with interest and a tilt of his head.

  “Oh, I met someone in the halls and need to find her again, its nothing.” I dismissed quickly. “I’ll look for Merlin tomorrow alright and you better go too.”

  Arthur gave me an odd look for a moment, but then I guessed changed his mind about asking more of the lady I had met. A final nod of thanks from Arthur and he ran back to his brother and I didn’t struggle to find the energy to move until they disappeared from view. Very slowly and complaining a little regarding the pain from each step, I made it over to Kay’s horse and took the reins.

  In a way I was amazed how well Kay had taken the news, to accept that Arthur was not his brother straight away. It was impressive or was it perhaps initial shock and denial. Either way I guessed that only time would tell. As for right now I needed to get the horses back to the stables, find some form of bed and die. It had been a long day, a painfully long day, but I knew I would never forget it as the day I met Arthur the future king of all kings of Briton.

  Chapter 2: 10 Points

  Dawn arrived the second I closed my eyes. Blinking in the rays of the sunlight as it poured through an opening and I attempted to bury my head in the straw.

  Brickwork missing, the opening was once a window, yet now instead represented a hole that someone had not finished smashing open. Underneath it I had found an inviting open galleried hayloft with an empty stable below. Empty because the horse that had occupied it was stolen yesterday by a horse thief who would very likely have a similar appearance to me.

  I had never felt so tired in my life, which was probably untrue given some of the celebrations Clegis had organised in the past. The point was I certainly felt exhausted and drained from my trails yesterday and yet somehow it was already the next day.

  A new day and a new problem my mind drifted to mull over despite my feeble protest not to think. Yesterday I had an excuse to avoid Aries, but today I was back to my own life and the duties I had not been attending. Aries’ face in the chamber full of nobles and kings was very clear yesterday and without any doubt he was not too please with me. Sadly at some point I would need to see him. Running away with Arthur yesterday was at once very appealing in hindsight given what today could bring. Setting aside my fear of meeting my lord, I thought about other important things, breakfast. I was famished and became conscious that in fact I had next to nothing to eat yesterday. This more appealing thought of seeking food was just about enough to counter the fear of what was to come today and persuaded me to roll over to my back. I winced as my body reminded me of the punishment it had suffered recently. My face was tender as well and I bet I had a good black eye. If the thought of breakfast was enough to move me any further was another issue. I decided to risk a moment more of doing nothing.

  On the brighter side at the very least I had given myself the opportunity of a comfortable bed within the freshly prepared unoccupied stable. It had occurred to me last night having returned the horses I found myself standing very nearly at the scene of the crime. With no one around of note I looked inside the stable I had stolen the horse from and it was empty. A risk perhaps, but doubted anyone would recognise me as the thief earlier as most were servants, pages or similar attending their visiting lords and I passed them in a burr. Moreover why would the thief return and sleep in the stable.

  Outside sounds of morning work had commenced and I knew soon I would be disturbed. Given how busy the fort had been I doubt it would be long before this stable would be needed soon and just in case someone did think they knew me I finally decided it was time to get up. I sat up and braced myself for returning aches and pains to find they were surprisingly less painful than anticipated. Taking hold of the ladder and I swung myself around to lower myself down. Happy not to have collapsed on landing on the ground I found the energy to venture forth to greet the new day ahead. In my mind such an optimistic outlook sounded far too cheerful and was a clear sign of denial. I needed to familiarise myself with the harsh reality of the kitchens once again to bring me back to my normal rational self.

  An hour later, and yet again, I faced a closed common plain oak door. A functional door design of no significance similar to every other one found within fort and yet behind this one was a mystery that was less than ordinary. At least that was the rumour. This was not Aries’ quarters, behind this door was a man who was considered by some to be the most powerful man in the land, whatever that meant, and I wanted an audience with him. Others just thought of him as a fool I reminded myself.

  I needed an excuse to avoid Aries and I realised once I had made it to the kitchens that I had already had one. Arthur had ordered me to speak to Merlin and who was I not to obey the orders of the future King. Arthur was certainly going to be the most powerful man in the land despite any status that this Merlin might hold or even what Aries status had for that matter. For me at least it meant that Aries could not have argument with me on the grounds I had not done any of his work when I was following orders. Yet I ignored a distant voice telling me Aries would not likely care for the command of the future king and I will still regret this decision at some point sometime.

  This common door was also not in the main tower, but was the entrance to a smaller room within the battlements themselves. It turned out to be easier than expected to find Merlin’s quarters having overheard servants complaining in the kitchens of his treatment of them. This time I effortlessly fought my will that resisted tapping on the door. Curiosity was a powerful thing, overcame any fear and quickly I tapped four times. I did not have to wait long.

  “Yes, come in.” Said a distance and distracted voice at once. It was familiar and sounded like the right person.

  I hesitated for a moment, but straightening up and with determination I pushed the door.

  Inside it was dark despite the number of lit candles throughout the room. I had forgotten that this part of battlements was low level almost below the waterline of the river and without windows. Yet, this reputed man had accepted these quarters without question and I found this strange. Certainly my nose questioned this decision and was almost overcome with the smell of damp and rot. For defence purposes it was a room that was never intended to have a windows and I guess it was not keen on people staying within its walls either. Most of these rooms found within the battlements were so damp to be unbearable to live in and only guards found them of use for storage, of what I could not say.

  Merlin sat behind a desk or rather it was a number of planks of wood set between a few chairs. The man was busy comparing the lines on the pages of a number of open books in quick succession amongst a collection of lit candles. However his face was in shadow and I could not read him. Instead I glanced down at the books. There was a lot and it was rare to see so many books in one place. Most books sought the protection of Monks and Abbots or others of religious title to hide them away in the vast catacombs of their various sanctuaries. Such clergymen protected them from others, or even protect others from the power of the written word and often with their lives if stories were true. Books could not be trusted. As soon as you wrote something down in a book it always appeared to be true even it was a lie. People believed in books and that belief was power, its law and perhaps even the source of this man’s rumoured power if he was ind
eed the owner of so many books.

  I knew how to read and write a little, it was not something my father held with any regard so I was free to learn at least until my older brother left. On reflection his lack of interest in the written word was perhaps my motivation. The book Merlin was looking at had something to do with plants or herbs, but I could not read that well from my distance and being upside-down from my viewpoint was unhelpful.

  I waited as was expected and to be polite when you enter anyone‘s home or otherwise damp smelly mushroom friendly abode.

  Time ticked passed and I found myself stepping forward slowly to remind this preoccupied old man that I was waiting. It finally worked as suddenly he looked up, but despite my initial welcome before there was a flash of annoyance across his face now. Then it softened and a peculiar simile lifted the corners of his mouth.

  “The young man behind the pillar, Tor wasn’t it?” He observed.

  “Yes.” I answered with a slight jump, my single word answer sounded like admittance to a crime.

  At this point, which had to be the wrong time to realise I admit, it dawned on me I had not rehearsed what I was going to ask him. Arthur simply said find out everything he knew, but had given me no clue as to how to ask. Seemingly the man knew this and nodded to himself with the smile that hinted at some hidden amusement. Unusually for me I was wary, unsure about this stranger who was confident in mystery or at least wishing to appear so.

  “You’re here for some answers I assume.” He continued guessing right.

  “Yes sir, err…..” I responded trying hard to think of something more clever and intelligent to say and wondering how he might have guessed the reason for coming to visit him.

  He stared at me a while and I asked myself if he enjoyed my awkwardness. Abruptly he shut a book on the table with purpose and made me jump again. Then he busied himself with tidying the rest of the books away in a chest to one side, making me wait.

  I could not find any words. I was a squire, former prince of Northumberland which perhaps was not the best title or position to be in, but this man was nothing more than a peasant in comparison despite able to read. Yet I had nothing to say, I stood there wide eyed and nerves from nowhere had ambushed me. Was it that I had just become a victim of the power of his reputation?

  Merlin to my relief did not look my way and witness my attempts to say something and not get words out. I was unable to push pass respect for an elder!

  Finally he decided to talk on without any meaningful contribution from me. “I see Arthur has already learnt the art of delegation, a quality of leadership his father didn’t have. He always tended to try and do everything himself and if he got it wrong blame everyone else.” He paused and looked away from his books at me again with the intense stare. “Not unlike your father, say you?”

  Suddenly I was caught out and surprised. Did he know my father, how, why? “You know my father?” I responded, with a frown of suspicion as immediately I was on guard and ready.

  Merlin turned away. “Heard of him yes, his reputation and his hunt for the monster is a tale told, but also he is a typical king, a warrior chained by leadership who knows how to fight and little else.” Merlin went on and then half muttered to perhaps himself, “Always the problem, people just don’t learn.”

  Now I was on the wrong foot, he knew about me and I knew very little about him. In any battle the one who knows least about the other’s position often ends up the loser. These were familiar words from training, but wait! He already knew my name, he had requested it yesterday and so he had time to find out everything about me, most likely from Aries who had been there as well and saw me.

  I narrowed my eyes as suddenly I gained a far clearer understanding of this man. It was straight forward; if you wanted to be seen to be powerful then knowledge was the key. From the study of books through to ensuring you knew everyone’s background in case it was needed. Even knowing who the humble squire hiding behind a pillar was might one day be helpful. Merlin did his research well; he must take note of everything to have available for use when needed. Perhaps he would write it down in those books and to the narrow minded and gullible he would appear clever or even powerful.

  “Arthur did send me,” I said with more confidence this time I had Merlin worked out. I decided not to fall for the trap being set and intended to avoid being side tracked further by mention of my family, “He asks for more information as to the nature of his birth, more about his father.”

  I stopped myself from asking what had this man had to do with it or why did the previous king of Briton give up his only heir to this strange man. Instead I hoped I had said enough to get these answers without having to be so direct for now.

  I waited and stood firm against Merlin’s long intense gaze cast upon when he returned to the desk before he answered. “Sit down.” He instructed and indicated a chair to take from a dark corner. My eyes glanced at it, but I chose to stand still and did not move. This was not unnoticed by Merlin. “You are suspicious of me, perhaps afraid, I know many people are.”

  I was desperately trying to avoid being victim of his games and held my ground. I disliked the man’s ego that he thought that people were fearful of him, even that he was proud of it. This I decided was a war without swords and arrows and I had chosen lack of cooperation as my weapon. Only now he waited for a response, his bemused face at odds with his resolute stare and in opposition my somewhat inexperienced one.

  I cracked a little and answered him. “I have no cause to be afraid of you and I chose to stand that is all.”

  Another long pause and unseen battle of will transpired between us before Merlin looked away and sat back. I took this as a victory, as hollow and meaningless as it might be seen by others.

  “Anyone can tell you about Uther and his queen, the graceful Ingraine. She being Arthur’s mother, also dead of course, very sad.” He informed and stood up to walk the room to continue. “I was the king’s advisor, my particular talents and knowledge were of use to him and at the right time I was entrusted with the safe keeping of Arthur. His birth of course at the time was not public knowledge.”

  “Why was it a secret?” I asked, finally considering that I might be getting somewhere.

  “They were difficult times. Uther was not a popular king anymore by the time Arthur arrived.” He said, putting to one side casually.

  This was a block and Merlin said nothing more finding some other interest in the darkness. My hope that I might get some answers began to fade.

  I tried again, “You were asked to protect him, Arthur? How were you able to protect him when a King couldn’t?” I asked, trying to sound keen and interested or even endorsing this man’s ego to my benefit, but it came out wrong and my words gave away my thoughts of disbelief and quickly achieved distrust of this old man.

  Admittedly he had done nothing to undo my first impression of him and I was a good judge of character.

  “Perhaps.” Said Merlin vaguely, still finding something more of interest on a shelf close by than me.

  I was losing his attention, losing a chance to gain the knowledge Arthur sought and so I stepped forward with purpose.

  “What does that mean, you either was or not and why were you asked to take Arthur?” I replied and to my regret my annoyance was now clear.

  Merlin had a knowing smile again, but a serious expression at the same time. He had answers and appeared to me to be getting pleasure from not providing them. I found this deeply infuriating despite my efforts to remain calm.

  “There are some answers that are only for Arthur’s ear,” He answered quietly, “not yours and some answers that are not mine to tell.”

  I bit my bottom lip and stopped myself from shouting something. This man was so frustrating I was surprised he had not been killed for it. I exhaled noisily to make a point and scowled. “What can you tell me?” I yield.

  “Ah, the correct question at last. “ Answered Merlin, his tone lightened as some sort of success had been ac
hieved and smiled widely at my verbal defeat. His hands returned from the shelf and he stepped over to me in a sudden rush. “I can tell you that I am convinced that Arthur’s fate is to be a truly great leader, he will rejoin this country, defeat the enemy and be glorious.”

  “And how do you know that?” I asked bluntly, which could have been taken for rudeness, but I cared not at this point.

  His face too close to mine for comfort, I concentrated hard not to finch and held my ground.

  “You see some people have greatness imposed upon them but fail to be great themselves. They are nothing more than warriors than leaders. Others are great leaders but never lead, never have a chance or realise what lies within them. And some, but very few, are truly great leaders whose actions shape the world for the better of all and get a chance to do it. This will be Arthur.”

  He sounded absolutely certain, confident and a spark had lit brightly from behind his eyes as he spoke. I wanted him to be right, I had nothing against Arthur, but no one could know what may be ahead. More importantly this was not genuine fact or news to give Arthur. I had nothing to tell Arthur except his mother is also dead along with a dead king for a father and this Merlin remained as much a mystery as before.

  I decided to retreat and rethink my approach to this problem.

  “Thank you Sir. If that is all, I will take my leave.” I uttered with no feeling.

  Merlin simply tilted his head in thought before he withdrew back to his makeshift desk saying nothing more. I had dismissed him and it was uncomfortable strangely to find he had accepted this. I had no choice but to turn to leave. Most would have expected a final word from a man like Merlin, but he was a man you could not anticipate and not surprisingly no further word was spoken at any time as I walked out and closed the door.

  Outside I muttered a few choice words before the tension I had acquired from my encounter began to subside. I felt overwhelming relief to be out of the room. For a while I wondered what to do next. Did I seek out Arthur or make some attempt to complete my everyday work and duties that were not now an attractive prospect given the length of time I had avoided them. As much as I had convinced myself that I was not eluding work, but carrying out other requests of greater importance instead, I knew I was stretching the point. As I was on the edge of deciding when all of a sudden I no longer needed to make any decision as a great cheer resonated around the fort’s walls. My curiosity ignited and took over any other thoughts. I raced away from the back of Merlin’s door and through the narrow passageway to find the nearest staircase or ladder.