The Knight Behind the Pillar

by John Pateman-Gee

  Looking out of a slit window on my way up the steep spiral staircase I found I could see the crowd from yesterday had returned and filled the courtyard below. Nothing unusual about that I thought to myself compared to everything else and I was bemused. The stairs lead to a small chamber, an open store of various forms of weaponry as well as oil and other items to throw over the enemy from the battlements. Onwards, I needed the ladder to one side that lead up through an open trap door to the roof itself. A bean of light showed the way and I pulled myself out onto the top of the world to see the fort below and town of Caerleon beyond that. Despite there being lots of ways to get up on the battlements themselves, for the most part this was private world. It was the land of the guards, this was their domain and few others had reason to be there. Your were not denied access, just needed to have a good sense of balance, have no problem with heights and you also needed a keen eye for the missing stones and timbers as you walked along. Despite never being told you were not welcome, you never felt wanted. For now this did not matter as I only wanted to take a moment to look and I could bear a few odd glances and staring from the old guards for a time.

  Views out to river valley were always impressive, but these were forgotten behind me as I looked down into the fort and across towards the stone stairs outside the main tower itself. The stairs joined one of the wider external doorways on the side of the tower to the courtyard. Guards not familiar to me had fanned out at the base of the stairs and formed a human shield to hold back the crowd within the courtyard. I doubted they would be successful if the people forced their way forward given the sheer numbers of them, but the crowd were at least respecting the idea and giving the guards a good distance. Within this guard barrier at the base of the stairs, were also a collection of some of the more privileged, lords and ladies, kings and queens who had gathered to Caerleon over the last few days. Some I recognised from the chamber yesterday.

  From my position it was like looking at a lake, the shallows represented by lighter shades of sun soaked light brown cloth not unlike my own rag of a tunic. While the deeper sections of the gently rippling mass of people were clusters of lords in deeper shades of silk and fine cloth. These were the people with clothes not as faded by daily exposure to the sun, not least because they were not short of anything else to wear. Among these folk I could spot King Leodegrance and Lord Morvid. Standing a couple of steps up on the exposed stairs themselves as so to rise himself above the others the Archbishop Dubric also stood. He was looking rather out of place and not overly pleased. Perhaps he was expecting to be at the top I wondered and now found himself awkwardly lingering, trying to appear of use. Guards had gathered along the battlements to see what was happening as well, along with a number of my fellow squires and some pages who dared.

  My eyes now finally drifted to the top of the stairs and like everyone else I focused on one particular person standing there quietly. He stood next to King Alain who was addressing the crowd and I had yet to bother listening to him. Instead I watched for a moment the future king, son of Uther Pendragon. The Pendragon reign would be reborn and he was a man who will be the greatest leader ever seen if Merlin was to be believed. His face was difficult to read especially from my distance, but he stood there perfectly still, staring out to his people without a hint of emotion, fear or joy. I could not begin to contemplate what I would be thinking if that were me. I would be praying to get through it quickly and back inside I guessed. Alain had his hand placed securely on Arthur’s left shoulder. Distilling his support for Arthur, visually demonstrating his allegiance to the future king or just guaranteeing Arthur was not looking to escape. In the shadows just beyond the open door I spied Kay and Ector. Seeing Ector standing by his adopted son could only be a positive sign and I hoped that last night had indeed gone well for the three of them.

  Finally my attention turned to what Alain was saying. He stood confidently and had gathered all of this authority around him, his free hand out stretched to the people and conducted his speech.

  The top of the open stairs was an ideal pulpit for him for his address. “…stands before you good people as the son of Uther Pendragon,” Alain gained a low level sound of astonishment from the crowd now being told that not only had Arthur pulled the sword from the stone, but was in fact the son of the last high king anyway. I was a bit behind what had been said, but Alain was clearly enjoying the audience not to have said much too quickly and I doubted I had missed a lot to be worried. “Yes good people after many years of being lost to us the true heir of the throne of Briton has been found. For too long our enemies have made significant inroads into our lands and for too long we have let them. Instead of standing as one against them we have fought between ourselves. For too long our weakness has been that we serve our individual kingdoms and not our country. Well my friends. Well now it is time for a change, time to make a stand, here today and right now. Because today stands the lost son of Pendragon and tomorrow he will be our new king. And together under one banner we will fight as we have never done before for our lands, for our survival.” Alain paused with purpose, perhaps expecting a cheer.

  Instead there was silence, indeed this was just as powerful for there was no movement, no sound, and in fact so much nothing it was unnerving. Alain hand that had formed a fist dropped away, I could not work out if it was disappointed at the response.

  He was too much an expert in these matters to let any disappointment show as he continued with a lower more dramatic well measured tone. “Yes we must fight. It will be a battle worth fighting to push back our enemies. And yes, my friends, there are challenges ahead as not everyone shares our hopes for a united kingdom and despite our new alliance they are some who wish to remain inward looking. Some who think they can guard their own boundaries alone and find our vision a threat! We have little time and we must act quickly, but for now we must rejoice the arrival of our new King. Arthur’s coronation will be tomorrow and then…” He paused having rushed the last words ready for the big rallying call to the people. “And then after dancing and feasting ceases, we will set about rebuilding this country as one, stop falling back and stand tall for Briton.”

  Everyone was stunned and a fraction of a second was forever as we stood there and considered Alain’s words that had echoed around the stone walls. I wondered if such a performance was enough to fulfil the crowd’s expectations, especially as it had been delayed for over a day. It was a performance, expertly planned and each word had been used for an exact purpose even if in some cases the purpose was not to say much. My head fell, a new world was promised, but to get there everyone knew the cost, yet more battles and more lives lost. Everyone, if they wanted to admit it or not, also knew everything Alain had just said about the fight to come was true, except now it was spoken aloud made it real and unavoidable. Saying it made it exist in the actual world rather than hiding behind thoughts of how to survive lunch or how to avoid work.

  Alain was right invaders were slowly eating away at our lands coming in from the coast and even between the various lords there were lots of fights and feuds. A new king was going to change everything.

  Finally a shout of “for Briton” was heard and I doubted it was genuinely from a crowd member, but was enough to signal a half hearted cheering to fulfil Alain’s expectation, before the noise of a thousand new conversations shortly followed. The people could now begin to understand and fear what was outlined as their future.

  Arthur who had said and done nothing and Alain shortly returned to the darkness of tower, but then I saw another face familiar to me. Alongside Leodegrance, who was at the base of the stairs and about to walk up to return inside, was the lady I had knocked into from the hallway and she was speaking with him. Her hair no longer platted, just tied back and fell over a brown wrap that in turn covered the her dark blue dress.

  Reminded of my quest as she called it, I darted away from the edge and raced to the trap door. To get across to her and find out who she was before I lost her would not eas
y given how many people filled the yard, but I would try. I actually needed to see her! I could feel my joy racing through my veins just because I had found her, a new feeling that surprised me. From having only seen her in the hallway for a moment, I now urgently wanted to speak with her again and cross swords once more. While I did not actually promise I would seek her out, it was almost a promise and I felt that not to try would be wrong. If I was to be any kind of knight in the future, fulfilling my promises or implied promises was required.

  I dropped down the trap door wondering what I would say to her before suddenly all thoughts of her were vanished as a loud booming voice reached me.

  “You!” Shouted the voice of Aries and suddenly I realised the moment I had been dreading for the last two days had arrived.

  Before I even turned around to face him, a hand reached out took hold of the top of my tunic from nowhere and slammed me against the stone wall next to the ladder. An arm then pinned me there. The time and rest I had gained since being thrown of the horse yesterday I lost in an instant and I let out a yell of pain. If this in anyway surprised Aries he did not let it show and instead I suspected it would give him satisfaction.

  “I can explain…” I managed to get out after a sharp intake of breath.

  Aries cut across me and yelled. “Explain! You’ve avoided me for days, your duties untouched and then I find you spying on a meeting of no concern of yours!”

  His grip continued to hold me against the wall, his arm against my neck and his raging face only inches away.

  “I was told to stay with Arth….” I attempted to answer.

  “Who the hell has authority to tell you what to do other than me! I tell you when to sit, I say when to stand or when to jump.” Aries continued yelling in my face. “Your duty to me comes first, me, or do you now feel serving me is beneath you now you’re socialising with royalty?”

  My next answer was in danger of getting me killed and I had to be careful. “No, no my lord.” I squeaked, settling for submissiveness to calm the storm.

  Aries relaxed his arm and I could move again, but not far enough to escape the wall.

  “A bit of nobility arrives here and suddenly you’re the son of a king again?” Aries continued yelling.

  “No my lord.” I pleaded.

  Above me the light from the open trap door was cut off as someone was about to come down, but quickly changed their mind seeing Aries’s glare and hurried along to find another way down.

  He turned back to me. “You are a pathetic nothing your father wanted rid of, you understand, a useless runt he got rid of. Had I not owed your father, you think anyone else would have wanted you?” Aries onslaught continued and I gritted my teeth, willed myself to not react as I knew it was what he wanted. “And yet you have no appreciation of the training I’ve provided you, all my food and my time wasted!”

  With a parting push, so I would hit my head against the wall once more, he then let go and stepped away.

  “I do my lord and, and I thank you for it.” I answered automatically dropping down to crouch with my back against the wall.

  He saw through it. “Oh please don’t act the servant, it’s an insult.” He snapped and paused awaiting a reply from me, but I had decided shutting up was now the best idea. “No words for me now, eh, now there‘s no more explanation aye! You’ve decided you don’t want my hospitably have you, no longer answer to me and think he’s going to help you out of this place eh? Make you a knight perhaps. And what kind of knight would that make you I wonder, of what worth?”

  “I….” I begun, but stopped.

  Standing up again cautiously, but remaining against the wall I sensed that I should find some reply. However, as Aries paced the chamber and I stood there obediently and the words deserted me. At the back of my head I decided it was already too late to hope I would find the woman from the hallway and I was disappointed, yet the rest of me was telling me to focus on survival right now. Aries was yelling and all I could think about was her, what to say to her, it was foolish, it was unexplained and certainly not me ordinarily.

  “Pathetic.” Aries stated loudly as a conclusion to my lack of fight as he stopped moving and faced me again. “Can’t see what they see in you myself, why they want you to help our new king I have no idea either.” He splattered.

  “What!” I blurted out in surprise and unable to stop myself.

  “It would appear you are indeed someone’s favourite,” Aries explained with a sarcastic voice and mocking arms out stretched, “you have been volunteered to practice your skills with our new king. A decision made after you left the meeting yesterday. Given the forthcoming challenges, as my lord would put it, Arthur needs to ensure he has good enough skills to defend himself. And so you are to report to Bedivere this afternoon.”

  Bedivere was the fort’s marshal. He was kind of leader of the guards in a way. He often trained others in swordsmanship and how to fight while riding. He was also one of the keepers of the main armoury, one of the most trusted positions to hold. I had trained with him on occasion, more often of late now I was a squire.

  “Me?” I queried foolishly to be clear of doubt.

  Aries smiled, but it was certainly not friendly. “Oh don’t think your gaining any reward or anything that important boy.” He sneered as he approached me again and I increasingly feared being hit or worst. “Bedivere is instructed to act as a personal trainer to the king and to concentrate all his time on preparing him, but Arthur is going to need a practice target.” Face to face and too close to bear, he pushed me back with just his index finger. “You.” He said and then he backed away again to my utmost relief.

  “Oh, I mean yes my lord.” I quickly said.

  “Given how useless you’ve been the last few days I can’t think of a better place for you. At least none of the others need waste their time entertaining our new king.” Aries commented and I knew others meant other squires. I was also clear he was not enormously keen on Arthur by his tone. He turned away and headed for the stairs adding threateningly. “You start this afternoon and by the way don’t think this is the end of it. You might wish you are killed in practice by the time I am finished.”

  I stared at the black sweeping cloak disappear with his final words from view and took a deep breath. In truth I needed to punch something, shout out my hate for this man and let go the tight ball of rage inside the pit of my stomach.

  I was not nothing!

  I stopped myself from actually shouting such declaration after him and just mouthed the words towards the blank stone walls of the stair.

  I guess if you were to consider it carefully I had been sent away almost as far as it was possible to travel from Northumberland and still stay on land. Unless you were to go a little further south and reach Cornwall, but that was King Mark’s land and he controlled his borders so fiercely it might as well be across the sea for the difficulty it was to enter. Wanting to be a knight was my idea. While I had upset my father with the decision and he did send me away, at least he still provided for me to be a knight one day. He had arranged for me to be at Caerleon, be it a favour from Lord Aries or not. I knew I had disappointed my father and yes I knew I was nothing to him now, but have it be told to you so bluntly cut a wound and hurt as much as if it were a cut from a sharp knife. It was none of Aries’ business and he had no right to say anything! Then again, maybe my father had not been as helpful as I first thought. Why chose this place, why this far and with a Lord who had so many squires? Was I just living in hope as a squire and had no other choice, just like the others and many of them had more influential sponsors than me? These were thoughts I had often denied, but each day it was getting harder.

  Maybe Aries had a good idea. It was something I had not considered in the very short time I had known the once squire and now future king. Perhaps I should seek to serve Arthur, but people might then think I had not been trying to be a friend and instead I was seeking to use him to my advantage and get him to make me a knight? Would I wa
nt to use him like everyone else, and in my view this included Alain and Merlin who were playing some game of power and Arthur was the prize. Maybe, maybe, question on question, the world started to annoy me and just maybe I did not care.

  Alain being here in Caerleon was certainly a factor influencing Aries. My lord was not normally in such a foul mood, well he had moments and I had never known him to be cheerful. Being held against the wall was about him wanted to vent anger and frustration and looking for an excuse to allow him the opportunity. I was the excuse. He might accuse me of changing somehow to impress the face of nobility arriving, but he was just as guilty. He was Alain’s vessel and since his liege lord had arrived at Caerleon for the first time along with a number of high ranking lords his sudden change in character was clearly connected. Abruptly he was not as in charge as he was use to being and I was thankful for it as it might be the reason I stood still alive to think.

  Where I stood was now an empty stone room and deduced that this reflected life. I spent a little more time surrounding myself with self pity, or it might be regret still that I had failed to reach the nameless woman. Finally moving, feeling renewed pain through my shoulder now, I let the world back in.

  It was by the second step down the stairs that realisation dawned. I had been given free time. This gift of time was something Aries had given me without thinking. It was clear he did not want me anyway near him or my normal duties. With my arranged training practice session with Arthur not until the afternoon, I was free. My now hurried steps had headed me out of the town within minutes and I travelled northwards towards the hills. This was a rare escape from my humble existence within the stone walls of Caerleon. Soon the town dropped away behind me and formed part of wider world of the Usk valley and the river. Permission to leave or not I did not care. Partly I wished I had brought a Falcon with me, but thought it best not to alert anyone that I was unoccupied as it would have been just asking for a job. Besides I doubted my freedom would have gone down well with other squires.