Blessed

by S. J. West

  Tara whispered something but I couldn’t make it out from where I stood.

  “It’ll be ok,” Will said to her like he was speaking to a frightened child. “You just need to trust us.”

  After another minute, the lock on Tara’s door was finally unlatched and she came out with Will standing close behind her.

  “You know I love you more than anything, girl,” she said standing there with her shoulders hunched over. “And I don’t intend to let the devil himself take you away from me again.”

  She hugged me then.

  I knew everything would be all right

  Once Tara was calm enough to talk rationally, we all sat in the living room to discuss what needed to be done next. Brand and I sat on the futon. Malcolm sat in the rocking chair, and Will and Tara both brought in chairs from the kitchen table.

  “So,” Tara said sitting down in her chair, “none of y’all know what the devil wants with Lilly?”

  “He won’t tell me,” Will answered, sitting down in his chair. “I ask him every time I see him but he just tells me it’s better if I don’t know.”

  “Well, you know it can’t be good. I don’t remember hearing about anything good coming from something he did, right?”

  “Not that any of us have ever seen,” Brand acknowledged.

  “While Lilly was missing, Will and I talked about doing something,” Malcolm said. “We’d like to test Lilly’s blood.”

  “Test it?” I asked. “What for?”

  “Well, we know you’re different in someway. Especially now that we know you can phase,” Will said.

  “Yeah,” I hesitated to tell them what I had found out that morning. “I know I can do it, but I’m not sure how to trigger it. I tried to phase back to the apartment to pick up some fresh clothes this morning but it didn’t work.”

  “You probably just need to practice,” Will said. “I know when I take over a new body it takes me a while to get it accustomed to phasing.”

  “I honestly don’t know how I did it last night to escape,” I confessed.

  “Fight or flight instinct,” Malcolm said. “You knew you were going to die if you didn’t do something, dearest. Your mind and body worked together to get you where you would be the safest.”

  “I can help you practice phasing, if you want,” Will offered. “You need to be able to do it whenever you want to so no one can just grab you like they did last time.”

  “So what do you think testing my blood will tell us?” I asked Will.

  “We’re most interested in looking at your genetic profile to see if your DNA is different in some way than a normal human’s. We know you can phase which indicates you must have some characteristics similar to angels, and we know your blood doesn’t interest vampiric Watchers. I’m just not sure who we could trust who has the skills to get the information we need.”

  “I know of someone,” Brand said. “He’s a fellow Watcher. He has a private lab where we can run the tests.”

  “Good,” Will said, “if there’s something different about Lilly genetically, it might give us the information we need to figure out what’s going on. We need to know what Lucifer wants her for. Once we know that, we can at least come up with a list of suspects who would want to stop him from using her.”

  “Well,” Tara said, “I’ll let y’all handle all this business. We need to figure out what we’re gonna tell Utha Mae and Lilly’s mom about where she’s been.”

  Malcolm looked confused. “Why not tell them the Las Vegas story I made up? The police seemed to accept it readily enough.”

  “Obviously you haven’t met my grandma,” Tara said crossing her arms in front of her chest as she sat back in her chair. “She can smell bullshit a mile away. She’s not gonna believe Lilly went anywhere without telling me first. And I ain’t about to tell her the truth. She’d have a heart attack on the spot. Y’all need to figure something out. I told her I would call her this morning to explain why I didn’t tell her where Lilly was last night when I let her know she was safe and back home.”

  “I’ll handle it,” I said, looking to Brand. “I should go see them today. Would you come with me?”

  “Of course,” he said squeezing the hand he held reassuringly.

  “So what are you going tell her?” Tara asked, skeptic that I could come up with something which would satisfy Utha Mae. “It’s gonna have to be good.”

  “I’ll figure it out before I get there.”

  “Give me a call when you get back,” Will said to me. “We need to practice your phasing. It has to take top priority. It’s your best self–defense.”

  Tara called Utha Mae and told her Brand and I would be coming to her house to explain things.

  On the drive over, I racked my brain trying to think of something to tell Utha Mae which wouldn’t be a lie.

  “Couldn’t we tell her the truth?” Brand asked. “Or do you think it would upset her as much as Tara seems to believe?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know. Utha Mae’s always been religious, but I’m just not sure how she would respond to actually coming face to face with the reality of it.”

  “I think she’s stronger than you or Tara give her credit for.”

  “Maybe. But I just can’t take that risk. If anything happened to her because of me…”

  I couldn’t finish the sentence. I knew I would have to lose Utha Mae one day. Like all kids, you grow up knowing your parents will eventually die but it’s so far in the future you just don’t worry about it until you see age write the history of their lives on their faces and notice they don’t move quite like they used to when you were younger. But, just the thought of losing Utha Mae brought me close to tears. She’d been my friend, my advisor, my source of comfort all my life. I couldn’t lose her. I needed her, especially now.

  I felt Brand take my left hand and kiss it gently, forcing me out of my sad reverie.

  “Don’t worry. Everything will work out,” he promised.

  I looked at him, my heart breaking all over again at his perfection.

  “How do you know that?” I whispered.

  “Because I believe God’s brought us together for a reason. I’m not sure what His plan is for us, but I don’t believe our meeting was merely by chance. We were meant for each other, and I’m not going to let anyone or thing take you away from me again.”

  It made me think of what I’d realized that morning.

  “But you will lose me,” I gently reminded him. “I’m human. I’ll grow old and die one day.”

  “I know. It’s not like the thought hasn’t already cross my mind a million times.”

  He was silent for a while, obviously thinking about something. I could tell he wasn’t sure if he should say what was on his mind.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” I urged, not wanting him to feel like he needed to keep his thoughts hidden from me.

  “You don’t know how much I wish I could become human,” he finally admitted. “I’d give anything to have a normal life with you, but I just don’t know of anyway to do that barring some sort of miracle.”

  “We’ll never be able to have children will we?” At least with a child, he would have some small reminder of me after I was gone.

  “No,” he looked at me. “Do you remember the game we played when I asked if you wanted to have kids?”

  “Yes,” I replied, remembering the game of questions and answers when I won the right to ask Brand to show me as many of his favorite things we could fit into a 24 hour period.

  “We would have to adopt if you wanted a child. I swore when Abby’s mother died the way she did I would never put another human through that. I didn’t think I would love anyone else again until I saw you. I never imagined I could love someone as deeply as I do you. If you were ever killed because of something I did, it would break me. There’s no way I could recover because I just wouldn’t have the will.”

  His words broke my heart. How had I earned the right to have someone love me the
way he did? It made me wish we could just hide from the problems in our lives. Just forget everything and concentrate on us. It was a romantic notion I knew would never have a chance of coming true unless we figured out why Lucifer needed me.

  “So will normal birth control be enough to prevent me from getting pregnant?”

  “I think so. I need to consult with someone about that before we ever make love, but I’m pretty sure it’s all we need.”

  “How long has it been since you… you know...did that with someone?”

  The flushed color which covered Brand’s otherwise porcelain white face told me what I needed to know even before he confirmed it verbally.

  “Abby’s mother is the only one I’ve ever shared a physical relationship with.”

  “Why?” I couldn’t help but ask.

  “Because I can’t do that with someone I don’t love, and I’m not one to fall in love easily.”

  “Were you married to Abby’s mother?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you see us getting married one day?”

  “Of course,” he took his eyes off the road for a split second to look at me. “Don’t you?”

  “Yes but I’d really like to graduate college first. Would you mind waiting that long?”

  Brand smiled. “Lilly, I can wait as long as you need me to. I’m in no rush. As long as I can be with you every day in between, I really don’t care how long you want to wait to get married.”

  “And are you ok with waiting to make love until then?”

  “You’re worth waiting for,” he said, kissing my hand. “But do I have your permission to dream about that moment while I’m waiting?”

  “Only if you share it with me every so often.”

  He chuckled softly, “Deal.”

  Chapter 2

  When we arrived at Utha Mae’s, I was surprised to see my mother come out of her trailer and greet us before we even stepped out of the car. I swear I think Cora still thinks she’s seventeen and a go-go dancer. She was wearing a tight blue jean mini-skirt, white halter top and three inch blood red stilettos. Apparently she was trying something different with her brown hair because it looked permed and teased into a bird’s nest on top of her head.

  “Hey sweetie,” she said giving me a quick hug. I saw her eyes quickly take in Brand’s Porsche and Brand himself as he got out of the car.

  “Hi, Brand. I’m surprised to see you here.” She looked down at me confused. “I thought you might be bringing your new boyfriend over, sweetie.”

  “New boyfriend?”

  What was she talking about?

  “Yeah, that man they showed on the news, big handsome guy with long black hair. They had a picture of him getting out of this red and black car at your apartment. I swear I think he looks like a Chippendale dancer I’ve seen before.”

  I could feel my body start to tremble.

  “What did you hear on the news?” I asked my mom as Brand came to stand by me putting a comforting hand at the small of my back.

  “They said you hadn’t been missing at all. That you’d just been on vacation with that guy in Las Vegas and forgot to tell anyone. I told people you probably just needed to get out of town after all that business with the crazy girl trying to kill you. I asked Tara not to involve the police but she wouldn’t listen to me. Who was that guy sweetie?”

  “Just a friend. He’s not my boyfriend. Brand is.”

  I could tell by her expression she had surmised that by the way Brand was rubbing his hand up and down my back for comfort.

  “Well, you better go talk to Utha Mae. She was awfully upset when we didn’t know where you were last week. Come on over to my place when you get through talking to her. I’d like to ask you about something.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek and went back into her trailer.

  I couldn’t move. Why had my mother just accepted Malcolm’s lie so easily? It was just another piece of proof she didn’t know me at all. It wasn’t in my character to just leave town without telling someone where I was going. I didn’t live like she had all her life, doing what she wanted when she wanted no matter how selfish it was.

  “Are you all right?”

  The worry in Brand’s voice made me snap out of my reverie.

  “Everyone’s going to think I’m some kind of floozy now,” I said completely despondent. “How am I going to face people at school? Dr. Barry’s going to think I’m a complete flake.”

  I felt like crying. Brand pulled me into his arms instantly making me feel a little bit better, comforted and loved at least.

  “Don’t worry about what other people think. The ones who matter the most know the truth. Don’t let the rest of the world bother you.”

  “But what if Utha Mae believes it too? I couldn’t stand it if she were disappointed in me.”

  “Come on, let’s go talk to her.”

  Brand took my hand and walked me up to Utha Mae’s front door. After he knocked we heard her tell us to come in.

  She was sitting at her kitchen table shelling purple hull peas into a glass bowl on her lap.

  “Hey, child,” she said looking up at me and smiling. “Come have a seat. I think we need to have a talk.”

  Brand sat beside me holding my hand trying to provide me the strength I needed to talk to Utha Mae.

  “Now,” she said setting the bowl half full of peas onto the table, giving me her full attention. “Can you tell me where you’ve been this past week? ‘Cause I know that story they told on the TV isn’t true. I didn’t raise you to run wild in sin city with a stranger.”

  The relief I felt from her words untied the knot in my stomach.

  “Thank you for not believing that,” I said.

  “Can you tell me what’s really going on?”

  “I can’t tell you everything, at least not right now. I just need you to trust me, Utha Mae.”

  She leaned forward and put her hand on my knee. “Are you in trouble, baby? Can I help you somehow?”

  “I am in trouble,” I couldn’t lie to her. “And there really isn’t anything you can do to help me, but I have people who can. We just need time to figure some stuff out. Maybe after everything is over we can talk about it, but right now I just need you to believe in me. As long as you do, I won’t worry about what anybody else thinks of me.”

  “I’ll always believe in you, baby.”

  I got up from my seat and hugged Utha Mae. I fought back my tears of relief. I don’t know what I would have done if Utha Mae had believed the lie Malcolm concocted for the benefit of the police to explain my sudden disappearance. It hadn’t even occurred to me that the story would reach the news media.

  “Now then,” Utha Mae said when I finally let her go. “I hope y’all came hungry cause I made a ham, chicken and dumplings, and I’m gonna boil these peas up and make some biscuits too.”

  “You know I can’t pass up your chicken and dumplings,” I kissed her on the cheek feeling lighter of heart than I had all day.

  “Why don’t y’all go get your mom, baby? I bet she hasn’t eaten anything yet.”

  “Ok, we’ll go get her.”

  “If it’s all right,” Brand said. “I think I’ll stay here and help Ms. Jenkins finish cooking.”

  “Sure,” I said heading for the door. “I’ll be back in a bit. I got the feeling Mom wanted to talk to me in private about something anyway.”

  As I closed the door, I heard Brand say, “I’d like to ask you something, Ms. Jenkins.”

  I made a mental note to ask what that was all about later.

  When I went inside my Mom’s trailer, I found her sitting on the couch in the living room thumbing through the latest issue of Vanity Fair.

  “Hey, Mom. What did you want to talk to me about?” I asked sitting down beside her.

  “Are you using birth control?”

  The bluntness of her question caught me off guard but I quickly recovered. I had nothing to hide.

  “Why should I? I’m still a virgin.”


  “Well, you don’t have to tell me the truth.” She gave me a business card. It was for a gynecologist in Lakewood named Dr. Laura Spencer. “She’s a good doctor.”

  “I’m not lying to you, Mom. I am a virgin. Why’s that so hard to believe?”

  “Well honey, no one spends a week with a man like what I saw on TV and comes back a virgin.”

  “Well I’m not like some people. I know how to keep my legs together.” I tried to contain my temper but my words couldn’t hide how I was feeling. My mom had always said my thoughts were mirrored on my face so I was sure she could see what I thought about her insinuation.

  “All right, maybe you still are, but you’re getting older now, and I’m sure if you haven’t already had sex it’ll be in your near future. Especially if you and Brand stay together this time, guys like him don’t stick around with a girl who isn’t giving something out.”

  Never in my life had I felt like slapping my mother more than in that moment.

  “You don’t know anything about Brand. He’s not like the guys you go out with. He actually respects me. He doesn’t mind waiting until we’re married before we make love. He’s not hanging around me because he thinks I’ll spread my legs for him whenever he wants. He actually loves me, Mom! As odd as that concept might seem to someone like you, he loves me for who I am, not for what I give him!” I knew I was yelling by the end of my tirade but I didn’t care. How dare she talk about Brand like he was someone who would leave a girl just because she wouldn’t have sex with him!

  “Well, I hope you’re right sweetie,” she said changing her tune quickly after my outburst. “Maybe I’ve just been looking for someone to replace your father for so long, I’ve become cynical about falling in love. I just don’t want you to get pregnant too young. It can be a hard life, especially if the father isn’t around to help out.”

  My anger was deflated slightly by her words. I knew how hard she had struggled to put food on our plates and keep a roof over our heads.

  “I know, Mom. I wish you could find someone to love too. Now that I know what it really feels like, I can’t say I blame you for trying so hard to find it. You just need to start going out with a better class of men. Honestly, the guys you’ve brought home just aren’t good enough.”