Blessed

by S. J. West

  “I know,” she said with a sigh. “I’ve been thinking that too.”

  “Listen, I do appreciate you trying to look after me. And I promise you if Brand and I decide to have sex, I’ll be on birth control.” It was either that or death anyway. At least now I knew a doctor who could help me when the time came.

  I put the card in my back pocket. “Come on,” I said holding out my hand to my mother. “Utha Mae’s fixed lunch for us. You know you can’t pass up her chicken and dumplings any more than I can.”

  When we stepped into Utha Mae’s kitchen I heard her humming a happy tune while she cut up some bacon and tossed it into the boiling pot of peas on the stove. Brand was rolling up the last of the dough for biscuits with bright smile lighting up his handsome face.

  “What’s got you two so happy?” I asked, immediately suspicious something was going on.

  They both just shrugged and gave each other what looked like a conspiratorial glance.

  After we ate, Utha Mae made us take all the leftovers home for Will and Tara.

  When we got back on the road, I pressed Brand a little harder for an answer.

  “What did you and Utha Mae talk about while I was over at my mom’s?”

  He just smiled and shook his head. “Nothing you need to know about yet.”

  “I thought you said we weren’t going to have anymore secrets between us.”

  “Let me have this little one for a while. You’ll know soon enough.”

  “Is it at least something good?”

  “I think so,” he said refusing to say anything else.

  I decided to let it pass. If I were being honest, I had a secret of my own that I had no intention of ever telling Brand about: Malcolm’s unexpected visit while I was showering. Brand could have his little secret and I would keep mine for as long as I could.

  “I’ve got a question for you,” he said. “Where’s the most romantic place you can think of?”

  “Gosh, I don’t know. Paris was nice. There were a lot of couples there who seemed to really enjoy it.”

  Brand’s brow creased. “When were you in Paris?”

  “Do you remember that Sunday I spent with Malcolm?”

  “He took you to Paris?”

  “Well at first he took me to Venice, but I told him I didn’t like the water so he took me to the Eiffel tower and then gave me a tour of Paris.”

  “Where else did he take you?”

  “He took me to see a pyramid he said he helped build. And then he took me to his house in Hawaii.”

  “Is that all?” Brand asked in a tense voice.

  “Yeah, that’s all.”

  The frown on Brand’s face almost made me laugh. I could tell he was disappointed he hadn’t been the first one to take me on a world wind date. I didn’t like seeing him upset though. I took his free hand off his lap and held it tight.

  “Don’t look like that. You know there’s no where in the world I’d rather be than with you.”

  “I know, Lilly. It’s just that I wanted to be the first one who showed you those things.”

  “We’ll have plenty of other firsts to share with each other,” I promised him.

  He couldn’t help but smile at my subtle reminder.

  “True. At least he won’t be the first one to see you with your clothes off.”

  I involuntarily tensed.

  “Lilly?” I could hear the disbelief clearly in his voice and cursed myself for being so easy to read. “He hasn’t seen you naked has he?”

  I couldn’t lie. I just couldn’t. I desperately wanted to. Why couldn’t I just say no and try to mean it? But I knew he would see through me trying to lie to him and then I’d just feel even worse.

  “He was in the bathroom this morning when I was about to step out of the shower,” I said it so fast I wasn’t sure if he’d heard it clearly.

  But, apparently he did. He took his hand out of mine and gripped the steering wheel so tight with both of his hands I thought he was going to break it in two.

  “Please don’t be mad,” I begged.

  He looked over at me and I could see it was too late. He was already mad.

  “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at that over stuffed imbecile you insist on keeping as a friend.”

  “Please, don’t do anything to him. He’s just a big kid sometimes. I swear he’s worse than some of the teenage boys I went to high school with, but he does care about me.”

  “I’m fully aware of the fact that he cares for you, Lilly,” Brand said trying to keep his temper under control. “But he’s not getting off the hook as easily as you want.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “He won’t be hurt permanently if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I asked really worried now.

  “We’re just going to have a little talk. It’s nothing for you to stress about. But, you need to know if he does anything like that again after we talk, he won’t be welcomed into my home anymore. I’ve been trying my best to be civil with him for your sake but disrespecting you like in my own home is something I can not let slide by unpunished.”

  I wasn’t sure what type of punishment he was talking about. For all I knew, angels couldn’t be killed, but I honestly didn’t know. And now wasn’t the time to ask just how angels could be hurt. I didn’t want to give Brand any more ideas than what he was already thinking.

  The rest of the ride was pretty quiet. I just kept worrying about what Brand was going to do and I think he was mentally running through his plans for Malcolm. When we got back in town, Brand pulled out his cell phone to call someone.

  “Hey, are you still at Lilly’s apartment?” I assumed he was talking to Will. “Can you go back there and look after her for me? I need to have a private talk with Malcolm.” Brand looked over at me. “Lilly can tell you why if she wants. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  He ended the call and put his phone back in his pocket.

  “Please don’t make me regret telling you the truth,” I begged, wishing I had been able to keep this morning’s events a secret. “I need you both.”

  “Don’t worry so much about Malcolm, Lilly. He can take care of himself. He doesn’t need you to defend him.”

  “It’s my fault you found out.”

  “Did he tell you to keep it from me?” If it were possible, I think the mere idea of that made Brand even angrier.

  “No. In fact he wanted to gloat about it to you.”

  Brand snorted. “That certainly sounds more like him.”

  We pulled into my apartment complex’s parking lot. By the time we got all the food in that Utha Mae made us bring back, I saw Will’s Honda Civic park right beside Brand’s car.

  Brand leaned down and gave me a quick kiss.

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Stay close to Will.” And he vanished.

  “What’s going on?” Will asked coming to stand by me.

  “Can angels kill each other?”

  “Not exactly. Why?”

  “What does ‘not exactly’ mean?”

  “Well, it depends on which angels you’re talking about. Watchers can rip each other apart but that doesn’t kill them. They can reattach the pieces or regenerate new ones. Fallen angels like me can have the body die, but all we have to do is take over another one. What’s going on?”

  “They can rip each others limbs off?” I asked in disbelief.

  “Sure. What’s going on Lilly?”

  “I think Brand’s going to rip something off of Malcolm,” I said, resigned to the fate of my friend. “He said it wouldn’t be permanent.”

  “What did Malcolm do?”

  “Saw me get out of the shower naked this morning.” I regretted telling Will this small bit of information as soon as the words left my mouth.

  “He what?”

  “He was just checking up on me is all,” I tried to defend but knew Malcolm’s voyeurism wasn’t really defendable.

&
nbsp; “Listen, I know you like Malcolm and from all my talks with him this past week, I agree he’s not as bad as I originally thought he was. But, he wants you Lilly. If you give him even the slightest show of interest, he’ll take it as you wanting him too.”

  “Malcolm knows I love Brand. I think I’ve made it pretty clear.”

  “Yeah, I guess you have.”

  I saw the look of hurt on Will’s face and regretted saying what I had so thoughtlessly.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, remembering the declaration of love Will had made to me only a couple of weeks ago.

  “No, don’t be sorry because you found someone who can love you the way you deserve to be. He may not be my first choice for you but you could have done worse I guess.”

  “Well, thanks. I think.” It seemed like a backwards compliment but that was better than resentment.

  “At least he was smarter than me and didn’t try to keep himself distanced from you the way I did.” The look of regret and loss on Will’s face made me feel sad for him. I’d seen that same look on my own face a hundred times when I was pining for Will to return my love for him. To see it on his face now brought back the memories of my own heartache.

  “Why did you do that Will? Would it have been so bad for us to be together?”

  “I was scared, Lilly,” he admitted. “I didn’t feel like you should settle for something like me. You deserved better.”

  It made me wonder how my life would have turned out if Will had found the courage to tell me he loved me after that first kiss. Would we still be together? Would we be engaged or possibly even married by now?

  Then Brand’s sweet words came back to me about how he thought our meeting wasn’t just by chance. That God had planned for us to meet and love one another for a purpose. I hoped he was right. I prayed God had a hand in our finding each other because if He did then our love was meant to be and blessed by someone we desperately needed on our side right now. But whether God brought us together or not, I was thankful Brand hadn’t decided to follow the same path as Will and stay away from me because he thought it was the right thing to do for my sake. At least Brand had the courage to fight for our love.

  “Utha Mae sent some leftovers from lunch. You better get in the apartment before Tara eats them all up,” I told him, breaking the serious turn our conversation had taken.

  After Tara and Will ate, Tara went to her bedroom for a nap and Will sat me down in the living room to begin my first lesson on phasing.

  “Ok, you need to clear your mind of everything around you. Phasing is more of a psychic ability than a physical one. Once you clear your mind, think of where you want to go, like your bedroom. But don’t just picture it. You have to almost convince yourself that you can feel the room around you. You’re folding the molecules of space between where you are and where you want to go. You have to think of the world as being fluid and bendable.”

  I tried to clear my mind. Once I had it cleared I did what Will said and tried to visualize myself in my bedroom. I’m not sure how long I sat there trying to phase two feet behind me on the other side of the wall, but I finally just gave up.

  “I can’t do this,” I said. “Maybe it was just a fluke that I did it the first time.”

  “No, you can do it. It’s just going to take some practice to stop thinking of the world as structured and start thinking of it as pliable.”

  “Why do you think I can phase? Do you think I’m part angel?”

  “I’m not sure. That’s why we want to do those tests.”

  “Can all offspring of angels phase?”

  “No, that’s what’s odd. None of the Watcher children have any of the abilities their father’s do. And angels like me can’t get a human woman pregnant.”

  “Why? You’re inside a regular human body.”

  “When we take over a body, we mutate the DNA slightly. It’s enough to cause a significant enough difference and make mating with a human impossible.”

  I looked at the clock on the cable box below the TV and saw it was already 5pm. Brand had been gone for at least an hour.

  “What could be taking him so long?” I asked absently. “You’re positive they can’t kill each other?”

  “Don’t worry about Brand. He can take care of himself, trust me.”

  As if he heard us talking about him, Brand suddenly appeared in the living room, startling me.

  “I’m sorry, Lilly,” he said seeing me jump slightly. “I wasn’t thinking.”

  I stood up and was quickly enveloped inside his warm embrace. As far as I could tell, he was still in one piece.

  “Did you give that jerk what he deserved?” Will asked, still sitting on the futon.

  “He won’t be appearing inside my house or Lilly’s apartment anymore unannounced,” Brand replied. “I told him if he needed to see her he could knock on the front door like everyone else.”

  “You didn’t tear any of his limbs off did you?” I asked looking up at my over protective angel.

  “Nothing he’ll miss,” Brand said cryptically.

  I didn’t want to know what that meant. As long as he was willing to let Malcolm continue to be a part of my life, I wasn’t going to worry too much about it.

  Tara came out of her bedroom yawning loudly.

  “So, you give the big guy an ass whoopin’?” She asked Brand.

  I had to tell her why Brand wasn’t with me earlier. She wasn’t pleased with Malcolm either. I was sure she’d make her feelings known clearly the next time she saw him.

  “He won’t be seeing Lilly in a compromising position again,” Brand promised. “I think he understands the consequences of doing that now. If you two don’t mind,” Brand said to my friends. “I’d like some alone time with Lilly. It’s been a busy day for both of us.”

  “Just have her back at a decent hour. We’ve got school tomorrow and Lilly’s got a lot of catching up to do,” Tara said.

  “Brand,” I said looking up at him. “I need to speak with Tara for a minute.”

  “All right,” he said before giving me a quick kiss. “Don’t take long, please,” he whispered in my ear.

  I knew what he was thinking. I desperately wanted to be alone with him too. But Tara needed to understand some things first.

  I motioned for her to follow me into my bedroom.

  “What’s up, girl?” She said sitting on my bed.

  I sat down beside her. “Listen, I know you’re trying to protect me and I love you for it. But you’re going to have to understand I intend to spend a lot of my nights with Brand.”

  “But…”

  I held up my hand to stop her from saying another word in protest.

  “Listen. If for no other reason, I need him to protect me. At least until I can figure out how to phase on my own whenever I need to. He can get me out of harms way a lot faster than I can myself right now. Plus, I had a lot of time to think about things while I was away. Life’s too short, Tara. I’m going to squeeze as much time as I can out of my life, and I want to be with Brand for most of it. I hope you can understand that. And you don’t have to worry about us doing anything physical other than kissing. I’ve already told him I don’t want to make love until we’re married, and I don’t intend to get married until I’m out of school. And sometimes, I might want to stay over at Brand’s, like tonight. You’re just going to have to trust me to do what’s right.”

  “Well, I can’t say I like it, but I can understand where you’re coming from. I won’t hound you too much about it anymore. You’re a grown woman.”

  It seemed like people kept saying that to me. If I was so grown, why did they still feel the need to protect me like I was a child?

  “Thanks,” I gave her a hug.

  I packed a small overnight bag and went back out into the living room. I said goodbye to my friends, and Brand and I got into his car and headed to his house.

  “What are we going to do?” I asked.

  “Well, my plan was to kiss you until you fel
l asleep.”

  “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

  Brand took one of my hands in his when we stopped at a stoplight on the highway and before I knew it we were in his driveway.

  “I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to traveling like that,” I told him.

  “It gets old after a while. You miss a lot of what’s going on around you. Sometimes it’s more fun to do it the slow way, but I’m too impatient when it comes to our alone time. I can’t justify driving ten minutes when we could be doing this.”

  With his last word, he phased us to his bedroom and helped me forget all my troubles, at least for one night.

  Chapter 3

  When I woke up the next morning, I found Brand sitting casually in a chair beside the bed watching me.

  “Why are you sitting way over there?” I asked. The last thing I remembered was falling asleep in his arms the night before.

  “I thought it was more appropriate. Lying next to you all night could have caused a problem.”

  “What problem?”

  Brand grinned like he wasn’t sure how to explain what he was thinking. “It’s hard enough to just kiss you without taking things further, Lilly. Trust me, your chastity is much safer if I don’t stay in bed with you all night every night.”

  “Oh,” now I understood and felt a slight thrill knowing the effect I had on him.

  Brand drove me back to my apartment so I could get ready for school. Tara didn’t say anything or look at me funny when we walked into the apartment together. Apparently, she accepted what I told her the previous night about wanting to spend as much time as I could with Brand far more easily than I thought she would. She’d always been my protector and now she was willing to hand that job over to Brand, at least partly. I think she was secretly relieved I had him to watch over me. It was highly unlikely anything would happen to me while in his presence.

  I wasn’t looking forward to going to my classes. I was sure everyone would be looking at me funny thinking I was a scarlet woman for having spent a week with a man like Malcolm in Las Vegas. And to be honest, if I were them, I would probably be thinking the same thing. I tried not to worry about what other people thought but even though you want to pretend it doesn’t matter what strangers think of you, there is always that small voice inside your head yearning to be accepted by all. No matter how hard I tried, the nervous butterflies in my stomach would not abate their fluttering.