Amber to Ashes

by Gail McHugh

  She’s holding my hand like her life depends on it, guilt for giving in to what she craved shadowing her face.

  Christ. What the fuck have I done to this girl? Like a dick, I’ve corroded her mind, tossing out some pretty heavy shit. I can’t deny a part of me is pissed that she kissed Ryder again. Hell, I’d let her kiss whoever she wanted to if it made her happy, but I told her she wasn’t allowed to further indulge in him without my permission.

  I jerk my head, summoning her. “Come here, baby girl.”

  She blinks, a tear dripping from her eye. Fuck. My heart crashes again. She pulls in a staggered breath and crawls onto my lap, her body shaking.

  I lift my hands to her face, cupping her cheeks. “I threw a lot at you tonight, didn’t I?”

  She nods, trepidation marring her features. “Yeah. But I guess we both did.” She ducks her head. With her lips inches from mine, she seems afraid to kiss me.

  I sigh, feeling like the king of assholes. The last thing I want is for her to fear me. I’d rather die. I breathe for this girl. No questions asked, I’d kill for her.

  “Kiss me, Ber.” I gather the silky waves of her hair in my hands, my body aching to feel any part of her. “I need you to kiss me, baby.”

  “Are you mad at me for what I did?” she whispers, hesitation flashing in those gorgeous yellow orbs. “I’m sorry, Brock. I’m so—”

  I don’t let her continue. I can’t bear to hear her apologize for something I wouldn’t crucify her for to begin with. I pull her to my lips, melting them over hers. Goose bumps pop across her milky skin, her little moan increasing the speed of my blood, the thudding of my heart as I slowly lick into her mouth.

  The keeper of all things pure, sweet, and whole in my life, the girl’s unaware that she owns my fucking soul. She has from the second she and her love for Twizzlers stumbled into the chaos of my world.

  I slide my hands down the curve of her spine and under the swell of her ass, hauling her chest to mine. I deepen the kiss, my greed for her mounting with every unsteady breath she takes. Before I know it, she’s unbuckling my belt and tugging my cock from my jeans. I grin and drag her sweater up over her head, her ebony hair spilling onto her shoulders.

  “Wait,” I whisper, the effort nearly killing me.

  She stills, uncertainty hopping across her beautiful face.

  “I need to look at you.”

  And I do.

  Most guys would jump right into the fucking. Not me. Not with Amber. The hungry gaze in her unsated eyes, the soft sway of her clipped breathing, and the small tremors of need rolling through her unhinge me, driving me animalistic. The fucking is a blessing I’ll never be worthy of, but it’s the sight of her that does me in, releasing me from reality.

  I unclasp her bra, her gorgeous tits falling free with a light bounce. Christ, she’s fucking perfect, and she’s mine. How I got so lucky, I’ll never know. Mouth watering, I take one breast in my hand and draw her nipple between my teeth, lightly biting. Her back bows, her lusty moan filling my ears, causing my cock to pulse, the throb close to painful as I suck harder.

  “You wanna fuck me, Ber?” My free hand travels up her back, fisting her hair. I stare at her, my tongue making a second, then third pass over her nipple. “Is that what you want?”

  She answers the only way she knows how. On a moan, she sinks down onto my cock, her pussy clenching around me as she bounces up and down like it’s the last time she’ll ever get to. I suck in a quick breath, my balls tightening as she feathers her nails against them. Sweet Jesus. She feels so goddamn good. When we fuck, Amber becomes an extension of me, her essence the missing link to the chains encasing my heart.

  I dig my fingers into her luscious hips, attempting to slow her movements. “You keep going like that, this isn’t gonna last too long.”

  Ignoring my warning, she slams down harder, her sweet pants music to my ears. “I don’t care. I want to make you feel good, Brock. I need to.”

  Hooded eyes glued to mine and licking her lips, she paws at the back of my neck. A gasp falls from her mouth as I jerk my hips up, hitting her deep within her slickened cunt.

  Another jerk, another gasp.

  Over and over, I fuck into her, our bodies shredding to pieces within seconds. Nothing compares to the way Amber looks when she’s letting go. I’ve known that since the first time I took her. My name the only thing in her mouth, my body the only thing possessing hers, and my eyes the only thing in her line of sight, she’s ravenous, her need to fuck unlike anything I’ve experienced.

  I guide her face to mine, sweeping my lips over hers. “Thank you,” I whisper, kissing her soft, slow. “And no, I’m not mad at you, Ber.”

  “You’re not?” Shock swamps her tone as she cushions her cheek against my chest.

  I bury my nose in her hair, my senses hijacked by the smell of raw sex and her raspberry shampoo. “Well, I was pissed for a hot second, but I’m cool now. We’ll talk more about it when we get up to your room.”

  Amber nods, the tension in her muscles dissipating some as I help her get dressed. Once she’s fully clothed, I spark up a joint, take a long hit, and pass it to Amber, who does the same. She smiles, her body fully relaxing. She leans over, hands the joint back to me, and coats my lips in a luscious kiss. For a beat, I stare into her glassy eyes, my gaze roaming her beautiful face. My cock twitches, telling me it wants another go. However, Amber straightens, reaches for her purse, and casts me one last glance before swinging open the door.

  By the time we get up to her room, not only am I happy that Madeline crashed at Lee’s place, but my dick is hard as a motherfucker. Still, I know there’s too much shit I have to explain to Amber. Shit I pray I can get her to understand, but I’m not sure it’s gonna happen.

  I kick off my shoes, tug my T-shirt over my head, and dump my jeans onto the floor. Falling onto the twin mattress, I crook a finger in Amber’s direction. “Come lie down with me.”

  “I’ll be right back,” she says, digging through her makeup bag. She lifts her head, a smile sliding across her swollen lips. “I have to take my pill. No little mutant Brocks and Ambers for us.”

  “Mm.” I nod, grinning. “Can’t say I disagree. Go do your thing. I ain’t going nowhere.”

  She swipes a pair of shorts and a tank top off her dresser and makes her way out into the hall, latching the door behind her. Crossing my arms behind my head, I fix my gaze on a poster of Jared Leto, whose eyes are staring back at mine, on the ceiling. I chuckle, wondering what the fuss over the dude’s about. Before I can dwell too much on why chicks find the pansy-looking motherfucker appetizing, Amber comes back and sinks onto the bed.

  I envelop her in my arms, tugging her onto my chest as I jut my chin in Jared’s direction. “You think he’s sexy? He looks like he bats for the other team.”

  She slaps my shoulder. “He does not.” She twists her head around, looks at him, then back at me. “You should talk, buddy. Don’t you go both ways?”

  “What?” My balls hit my stomach. “Where the fuck did you get that from?”

  She lays her cheek on my chest, tracing the tattoo on my bicep as she shrugs. “I don’t know. I just figured because you and Ryder were with Hailey, that maybe you two were . . . also together.”

  God help me. My girl thinks I dig guys. She might as well tell me she’s faked every orgasm I’ve given her. I slip a finger under her chin, bringing her eyes to mine.

  “Ber.”

  “Brock,” she replies with a shit-eating grin.

  “Your assumption couldn’t be further from the truth. That was some of the finest homegrown vipe we just smoked, so I’m gonna go with you being fucking blitzed. I swing one way, and that’s in the direction of pussy. Nowhere else.”

  She pops a brow. “Who are you, Tarzan?”

  “Hell yeah, I am. And you’re my Jane, not my Jay. Got it?” />
  “Oh my God.” She giggles and sits up, straddling my waist. “Do you know how cheesy and clichéd that sounds?”

  “You think I give a fuck?” I slide my hands up her silky thighs, sneaking my fingers beneath her shorts. Gotta love a girl who hates wearing panties. I graze her clit. “Ah, there it is. This . . . this right here is the only thing your man touches, plays with, or wants. Understood?”

  “Mm-hmm,” she hums as I push a finger inside her, breaching the barrier of her sweet pussy.

  There was doubt in that little hum, and I’m not about to ignore it. “You don’t believe me?” I slide in a second finger, my thumb circling her clit. “Huh? You think I secretly want dick?”

  “I never said that.” She closes her eyes, a soft moan falling from her parted lips as my third finger makes its way inside her.

  “You don’t sound too convincing, Moretti.” I pull my fingers out and lift them to her mouth, watching in amazement as she sucks them clean.

  “Do I sense . . . insecurity from the Brock Cunningham?” Coy smile lighting up her face, she sits up on her knees and shimmies off her cotton shorts. Her tank top follows them to the floor as she glides my boxer briefs down my legs.

  Sweet Christ. I lick my lips, ready to fuck her raw. “No insecurity, baby girl. I’m all man. So is Ryder. We set a firm no-contact-what-so-fucking-ever rule before anything happened.”

  “Mm-hmm.” She nods, staring at me as she tugs on her nipples.

  Grinning, my cock stands at attention. “Ber, if you ‘mm-hmm’ again, I’m gonna make sure you can’t walk for a week. That’s a threat you know I’ll keep.”

  “Well,” she purrs, “you did tell me earlier that you were going to . . . damage my pussy.” Legs flared over my waist, she dips her head, dragging her tongue across my chest. My muscles tighten. “But before you do, I want the deets.”

  “Of what?” I groan as her hand slips down my abs, her fingers skimming the head of my cock.

  “Of how it all came about with you, Ryder, and Hailey.” Going in for the kill, she licks my neck and cups my balls.

  Another groan, my breath halting.

  Seduction 101. My girl should teach the goddamn course.

  “Also,” she adds, “I wanna know everything you did to her.”

  Convinced the weed was too strong for her, I sit up, my eyes pinned on hers as I carefully position her over my thighs. “You want me to tell you everything?”

  “Yes.” She leans in and sucks my bottom lip between her teeth. “I do.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I deserve to know,” she whispers, the look in her eyes gutting me. She shrugs, dousing my jaw with kisses. “Like I said, I wanna know how it first happened. I also want to know why you wanna share me with other guys.”

  “Not other guys, Amber. Only Ryder.” Tucking her hair behind her ears, I kiss her lips, lingering there. “And I told you how it happened. We were all drummed up, and it just . . . happened. That’s it.”

  “Right, but you said you weren’t sure how many times you two banged her. Were you drunk every time you all hung out?”

  “Yeah. Either that, smoked out, or both.”

  A hazy memory of Hailey straddling my waist, taking a pounding from me beneath her while Ryder fucked her fast from behind decays my thoughts. At the time, there was no limit to what a few hits of the good stuff, several shots of tequila, and a willing cheerleader could bring to me on a Friday night after a big win. Before I knew it, it was happening a few times a month.

  Now, considering the shit the bitch has done to my girl, it’s become the biggest regret of my life. Still, I can’t deny that it opened me up to a darker side of myself I never knew existed. One I want to revisit. One I wasn’t too sure I’d ever let Amber know about.

  Amber slides off me and lays her head on my stomach, propping her feet against the wall. “So get to it. What’s the deal? Why do you all of a sudden feel like sharing me?”

  I coil a piece of her hair around my finger, trying to find the right words to explain where my sick head’s at. “I think after doing that with them, I found that I dug the domination of it all. Not that there’s not domination in doing it without a sidekick, but when another dude’s involved, it’s a total breakdown for the girl. A complete surrender of her body. I liked it. Liked it enough to wanna do it again.” I pause, knowing I sound like a freak, but I need to experience that feeling with Amber. “I’m layered, Ber. I want to give you every goddamn thing I can. Open you up. Help take away the pain you carry around.”

  Peering at me through hooded lids, hunger drenches Amber’s face as she touches her neck. “You don’t think you already do that for me?”

  “I’m not sure,” I say in all honesty.

  I know we fuck like animals, not a single sexual act gone undone. We put the entire porn industry to shame. But my girl’s different from all the rest. An uncut diamond. Amber’s need for release during sex—to let go of everything tainting her memories—runs deeper than anything I think I can conquer on my own.

  “Well, you do.”

  “Yeah?” I ask, hoping she’s not just trying to gas up my head.

  “Yeah, baby, you do.” She gathers her tits in her hands, squeezing them as she drops her feet from the wall. Spreading her legs, she swipes her tongue across her glossy lips. “You always have.”

  Fuck.

  Soft as silk and glistening, her pussy’s screaming for a pounding. I swallow, rushing a hand through my hair. “Finger yourself for me, Ber. Show me how badly that pretty cunt wants my cock.”

  Before I can inhale, she’s knuckle deep, two fingers sliding in and out of her pussy. A groan sneaks up my parched throat, the high that is Amber intensifying mine. I take my dick in my hand, stroking it as I watch her go at it.

  “Tell me more,” she pants, getting to her knees. Free hand swathed over her tits, she continues to pleasure herself as she stares at me. “Tell me what you two did to her. What you’d do to me.”

  I hesitate, but only for a second. Her little mewls and the insatiable look in her eyes nearly make me come. I lie back, my mouth begging to taste her. “Sit on my face.”

  She obeys, and a moan filters from her lips as I grip her ass, holding her just enough above me to give me some maneuvering room. I spread her open and slide my tongue through her soft folds, lapping up every bit of her juices.

  “Mm. Fuck yeah. No other pussy tastes as good as yours, baby girl. None.” And that’s not a lie. The perfect mixture of what a ripe pussy is supposed to taste, smell, and feel like, if I could, morning, noon, and night, Amber’s pussy would be the only thing I’d consume.

  Balls aching, I look up and catch her gaze.

  She digs her fingers into my hair, tugging hard. “Please tell me,” she begs over a long moan. “Tell me what you two did to her.”

  I shake my head and suck on her swollen clit, my teeth holding it prisoner before letting it go with a pop. “Don’t worry about what we did to her. I just want you to think about what we’d do to you.”

  She nods, her hands flying to the wall as she starts riding my face like a jockey.

  I continue to dig in, feasting on the real deal. Amber makes a man want to tongue-fuck her pussy. Some chicks turn into corpses, making not a goddamn noise while getting licked. Not my queen. She lives for this shit, her hips swaying in unison with my strokes, her moans painfully hardening my cock.

  “You like when I fuck into that little ass of yours, don’t you? The burn. The pain. The way my cock fills you.”

  “Yes,” she hisses, her nails clawing at the wall. “Mm. God, yes, I love when you fuck me in my ass.”

  “That’s right, you do.” And she does. I’ve never encountered a girl who can take it the way she can. I drag two fingers through her silk, slowly circling the puckered rim of her ass. “Now picture having a cock inside of tha
t pretty pussy of yours at the same time,” I growl, licking through her as I burrow my fingers into her ass as deep as they can go. “Picture it, baby. Feel it.”

  She rides me faster and drops her hands to her tits, tweaking her nipples as she looks down at me. “OhmyGod, Brock. Fuck. I’m . . . I’m . . .” A shuddered breath, two, three, four, and she comes apart, a string of spasms rocking her body.

  I lift her off my face, flip her onto her back, and haul her legs over my shoulders, fucking into her like a machine. Her body goes taut, my name flying from her mouth as she breaks again, a second orgasm slicing through her muscles. Christ, I live for the look in her beautiful, sated eyes. It’s pure heaven to the hell that was my life. The hell it’d still be if I didn’t have her.

  I grab the back of her neck, pull her lips to mine, and kiss her long, hard, and deep, our flavors mingling as she claws my biceps. “I love you, Ber,” I groan, seconds from erupting. “So fucking much.”

  Though Amber’s not big on making love, I slow my pace. What I’m asking her to do merits every bit of love I have for the girl. Every ounce of repayment for what she’s already brought to my world.

  “I love you too, Brock.” Amber looks into my eyes, confusion cascading across hers as I stop moving. She pulls her legs from my shoulders and cups my cheeks, worry crashing over her face. “What’s wrong?”

  I cradle her head, praying to God my twisted desire doesn’t cause me to lose her. “I just want to give you everything you want. I know this whole thing’s fucked up, believe me, I do, but I trust Ryder with my life, and I’m okay with you wanting him. I can tell you’re uncomfortable that I know how you feel about him, but I don’t want you feeling that way. You have enough shit plaguing your thoughts. I don’t need guilt fucking with you.”

  I kiss her lips, unsure if anything I’ve said has eased some of her guilt, her confusion. “Everything about doing this with him would fulfill both our needs. Your pleasure would become mine in ways you can’t imagine, baby. Hopefully mine would do the same for you. Just think about the two of us taking you, worshipping you like the princess you are.”