My Thai Story

by Guy Lilburne

  We didn’t wai each other and I don’t think we smiled much. We were weighing each other up. He was already drinking heavily; he flicked his finger towards the cigarettes in my shirt pocket and made a motion to his mouth of smoking one.

  I actually thought that this was just rude but maybe it was a Thai way of making friends and seeing that he spoke no English and my Thai was very limited, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and gave him a cigarette. He then annoyed me again because he didn’t say thank you or acknowledge it in any way. This man was just rude and I thought that he was probably the village bully. I decided that I didn’t like this man at all and I wasn’t going to waste my time sitting with him, there were lots of nice people here and I was having a good time.

  The day went along but as it did the problem between me and the big ginger man was growing. He was getting more and more drunk and his eyes were looking out under half closed eye lids heavy with alcohol. His wife probably wasn’t helping things because she kept coming up and talking to me and telling me that her husband wanted me to sit with him. He had started speaking loudly, asking me across the crowd which girls are beautiful. He kept pointing out different girls and shouting

  “Farang, khao suay mai?” (Foreigner, is she beautiful?)

  This was just rude and went on for far too long, and I was sure by now everyone must have noticed there was a problem, but nobody seemed too. When I sat down, I sat down at my usual concrete table and I always made sure that I didn’t have my back to him, I wanted to make sure I could see him. He motioned me over with his hand, we were looking eye to eye and I just shook my head. He smiled a condescending smile and raised his whisky glass towards me; I couldn’t bring myself to respond. It was obvious that he was just testing my metal. I guessed that there was some deep seated jealousy he had of farangs. Maybe he was jealous of their money or maybe he was jealous because his wife had probably slept with 1000’s of them.

  I can get on with anyone, and usually do but this idiot was ruining my day. He was a drunken bully and he was rude and disrespectful to me, Jee and her family. A lot of things were going through my mind. I had read somewhere that as a Farang you should never drink with Thai’s because they can get very aggressive in drink and where we in The West fight to win, they fight to kill you.

  This man, I thought, wanted to fight me. I didn’t want to cause any offence or embarrassment to Jee or her family and I didn’t want anyone to think I had ‘jai rawn’ (a hot heart), which is a criticism a lot of Thai people have about Farangs, but this man had been provoking me all day. Trying to put me down or belittle me in front of everyone, impose his authority over me. I don’t know why but he had taken an instant dislike to me. I have been a Police Officer for twenty six years and I knew well the smell of trouble, and this was it.

  I wasn’t too worried about his size, although he looked more powerfully built than me, I was trained in unarmed combat and in the Police we have to renew these skills every two years on an intensive three day pass or fail course. If you fail you have to do it all again. He was also drunk and I was sober, so I was confident that if he started then I would be able to look after myself.

  Earlier on in the day I had told Jee about him but she already knew what was going on. She said that she had heard what he had said which made me sad because one of the things he said was ‘why do I like Jee, that I can get a prettier girl then Jee. Girls like Farang money’.

  Jee told me that he was a bad man, that he gets drunk and says bad things all the time. I asked Jee why people didn’t just tell him then and stop him and his wife from coming to parties if he caused so much trouble and upset. Jee just shrugged her shoulders ‘cannot’.

  This should have been a great day, Pon and Jee had worked so hard cooking and looking after everyone. I had made a lot of friends amongst the kids because I gave them all 20 baht each and they all loved shooting the Farang with water pistols. A lot of my new friends from the village were here, but I hadn’t been able to relax and enjoy it the way I should have done. I was sort of relieved when Jee told me she already knew what was going on between me and the ginger man because everyone just seemed to be ignoring it. If it was in England I would have addressed the problem with him a long time ago but here in Thailand I didn’t know what to do or how to do it, so I just suffered it.

  I kept moving around and talking to people, sometimes dancing or sometimes eating or just chatting. It came to a head in the late afternoon. I was standing near to the matting where he was sitting. His posture was quite slumped now and Saks brothers and some of the other people I liked were sitting around there and we were talking as best we could. The ginger man got up to his feet and I tensed but he just staggered off to the toilet. When he came back he had come back behind me and the first I knew that he was there was when he grabbed my right arm with his left hand and tried to drag me to sit down on the matting but it wasn’t a friendly guiding hand he had a firm vice like grip of my arm. It was a test of strength.

  He was trying to impose his will on me; it really was the last straw. When someone grabs your arm like that from behind, it’s nearly impossible to pull away especially if they are strong and have a good grip, the only way to break it is to swing your arm back towards the grip like a bowling action in cricket. This is what I did in a smooth quick action. It made him break his grip and lose balance.

  He staggered a step forward and I grabbed his arm with my left hand and yanked it down putting my right hand on his shoulder to transfer my body weight onto him. It was all done in one swift smooth action and he flopped down onto his backside like a sack of rice. I kept my grip on his shoulder, keeping my weight on top of him. It didn’t look particularly aggressive but it was effective and it kept me in control. If he was going to start fighting with me it was going to be now, but he didn’t. Suddenly he seemed very drunk swaying and slumped. I don’t know if he really was this drunk, or if he was putting it on to save face because everyone had just seen the old farang put him on his arse but he made no attempt to struggle. I gestured to one of the men to pass me his glass and I put in front of his face, he took it from me.

  “Khun dee?” (You good?) I said.

  He nodded.

  I went and sat back at the concrete table. I might have looked cool but my mind was racing and my heart was pounding. I was happy that it hadn’t been a big involved fight but I was not happy that it had come to a brief but still physical episode in the first place. I was wondering what people will be thinking about me. Did I do the right thing or was I wrong? Have I caused Jee’s family to lose face? It all happened so quickly and smoothly maybe nobody noticed, it might have just looked like he staggered and I tried to grab him as he fell down. Maybe I’m worrying for nothing.

  The man remained slumped and drinking whisky for nearly another hour before he got up and staggered to a motorbike and drove off. He didn’t say goodbye to anyone and nobody paid him any attention. The atmosphere changed as soon as he had gone and everyone’s mood seemed to lift, well that’s how it felt to me anyway. The party went on until daylight turned into darkness, around 6:30 pm, and then the men in the pickup truck came and collected their speakers and karaoke machine. Some of the party people drifted away and some stayed and although there was still a lot of laughter and talking it became a lot more of a quiet affair.

  Later on in the evening Jee and I walked around the village and made our way to the temple. There was a party going on there as well and hundreds of people were there. There was the usual food stalls and market stalls, a little fair ground had set up and in front of the temple people were making big mounds of sand which they decorated with flowers, shells and stones, some of them looked beautiful. A lot of people were just walking around and looking at everything, but most seemed to be sat on mats on the ground with their family and friends eating and drinking. I tried to explain to Jee that I had had a problem with the big man at her family’s party but she already seemed to know all about it. I told her that I hoped I hadn’t caused a
problem for her family.

  “No problem, every person speak you very good man, no problem,” smiled Jee.

  I wasn’t sure that she had completely understood what had gone on, and like most of the conversation I have with Jee, something always seems to get lost in translation but I’ll settle for that.

  We walked back towards Pons house, hand in hand, along some dusty track roads that ran more or less parallel to the main road that we had walked along to go to the temple. Most of the house parties that had been going on had now quietened down to small groups of people chatting away together, but as we walked past everyone smiled and waved and greeted us, a lot of people even said ‘hello’ in English.

  When we got back to Pon’s we didn’t stay long and Pon’s son, Phong, drove us back to the hotel. Pon and Fon came along for the ride. It took us a couple of hours to drive the usual twenty minute ride because the city of Udon Thani was still in full swing on this the last night of Songkran. There were thousands of people all still enjoying the party and the roads were at a complete standstill, it just didn’t matter. It was lovely to have a shower and be back in bed with Jee.

  Everyday we seemed to be getting closer and I was very happy to be with her.

  Chapter 19. Money tree

  We awake early again today, It’s 16th April and once again I’m covered with mosquito bites on my arms and legs. It’s not a good look. I have never been bothered by mosquitos during all my adult life but now they suddenly had developed a taste for me and they were driving me mad.

  “Thai lady and mosquito like Farang,” smiled Jee.

  The sun was already hot and blazing in the sky when Sak picked us up from the front of the hotel and 8:00 am. We had checked out of the hotel because we decided to try and find one with fewer mosquitos.

  As Jee, Sak and Pon stood on the hotel car park discussing possible hotel options, I stood with Fon drinking the coffee that she had brought for me and Fon stood smiling and watching me drink it. It’s at times like these that I really wish I could speak Thai but as usual I just watched on as the outsider, I was unable to communicate.

  We went to another hotel just off the ring road and near to the city centre. It was not quite as new as the other hotel, but looked and felt better, so we checked in and dropped off our cases before going to Sak’s house for breakfast.

  Sak went to the side of the house and cut about 3ft off the top of a young bamboo tree. He stripped away most of the leaves just leaving a few at the top and made a stand for it with three sticks he also cut from the branch of the tree. I knew he was making a money tree, we had seen so many over the last three days. After we had a little breakfast we all sat around on the floor. Pon produced some sticks and little red rubber bands and Jee had got a pile on little envelopes out of the drawer.

  Each envelope had someone’s name written on it and inside there was money. Usually a 20 baht note, sometimes a 50 and there was even one 100 baht note. Some of the envelopes only had coins inside and this brought derisory comments from everyone. Everyone except me, because I didn’t quite know what was going on. I’m guessing that everyone who had come to the party yesterday must have been given the envelope to make a money contribution which I’m guessing we are going to take to the temple today but having said that, I didn’t see anyone handing over any envelopes yesterday, but that’s my guess anyway.

  The money was piled up and we put each note onto a stick by sliding it into the slit cut by Pon and putting on an elastic band to keep it held tight. The sticks are then pushed into the body of the tree cutting. It actually looks very nice. Jee changes the coins into notes from her bag. On the way here this morning she stopped at a cash machine and withdrew 2000 baht from her own account, she also puts this money on the tree two 500 baht notes and the rest in brand new 100’s. Now it looks a very rich tree. It was a big thing for Jee to give that much money, I know that she only earns 3000 baht a week, so this is a lot and her generosity has an impact on me. Jee hasn’t got much, but what she has, she gives freely. I don’t think I’m a mean person, but I don’t like giving money away. Maybe I have to do some serious soul searching, I’m sure I could be a nicer person than I am, but I don’t know if I will ever be the sweet kind soul that Jee is.

  Jee tells me that we are going to take the tree to a ‘very good monk who makes many good things for the people’. Jee tells me that he has built a school in the grounds of the temple for orphans and poor children to learn. We drive for about two and a half hours to reach this place and Phong has come with us today. Sak had got into the habit of talking to me quite a lot. I’m sure he knew that I couldn’t understand a lot of what he said, but it didn’t matter, he chatted away and I nodded, sometimes he’d laugh so I did as well. A couple of times Jee leaned over my seat to ask me if I understood what Sak was saying.

  “No,” I said.

  The temple was beautiful; it was surrounded by small villages of mostly wooden houses. I noticed the small building which was the school that Jee had told me about. The temple was quite a big one and had a few beautifully ornate buildings around it, one was housing a big Buddha statue, and another had stairs leading to a giant hanging symbol that must sound terrific when it’s banged. I saw piles of flattened sand and remnants of the flowers used to decorate them as I had seen at the temple in Chiang Phin last night.

  Inside the temple there was a group of about eight people, two men and the rest were women who were preparing food and generally sitting and chatting. At the far end of the temple on a raised stage sat a lone monk.

  As a group this is where we headed. We wai’d and prayed to the Buddha statue, lighting candles and incense and then we went to the monk and sat in front of him, everyone wai’d to him and he nodded and smiled in acknowledgement, which I thought was quite nice of him because monks don’t always do that.

  I liked this monk. He was about thirty years old and quite a handsome chap. There was something about him that was quite ‘cool and trendy’, well for a monk anyway. He sat there smoking and has a mobile phone in his lap. He smiled a lot and it was easy to like him, he had charm. He said something to Jee and she told me that the monk had said that he likes the way I wai and that I know how to pray to Buddha and that most Farang don’t. A lot of conversation then went on between the monk and Jee’s family. The money tree was presented to him and I think he blessed it.

  Everyone took it in turns to sit in front of the monk, and after a respectful wai, he tied string around their wrists and gave blessings. For some reason Jee and I sat in front of him together and I was especially honoured because the monk platted different coloured strings together to make me a lovely multi coloured wrist band which he tied around my right wrist and blessed me.

  He had a little lump of clay which he rolled in his hands to make a little ball and then covered it with the gold leaf paper that is usually used to stick onto the Buddha statues. It made a pretty golden ball which he blessed and gave to Jee. She wrapped it carefully in paper and put it in her bag. More conversation between everyone took place and after awhile we went and sat in the middle of the temple on some mats the food ladies had put out for us, they then brought us food of rice and noodles, chicken, fish and vegetables. I don’t know why we were having this feast, but we were, and all the ladies and the two men there were very happy to meet me and say hello.

  The heat and humidity in Thailand is relentless and I was getting quite hot and sweaty. The only relief I ever got was with the air conditioning in the car or inside the supermarkets and shopping malls. So after the food had been eaten I was looking forward to getting back in Saks pickup, but as always in Thailand nothing is ever rushed. Jee got chatting to an old friend, ’Nudee’, who came along as we got outside and the others wondered around the temple grounds. I had a cigarette with Sak back at the pick up truck and drank one of the bottles of iced water that we had brought with us from home. Only now it was warm and wasn’t iced, but ‘mai pen rai’. (Not to worry.)

  When we did all get back in
the car and started to head home, I told Jee that I wouldn’t mind looking at some houses if there were any good ones for sale around Udon Thani. Jee translated what I had said and everyone seemed to get excited about the idea of looking at houses. It was already 4:00 pm by the time we got back to Udon, but the sun didn’t go down until about 6:30 pm so we still had a couple of hours to have a look around.

  We had a look at some brand new and modern looking town houses in the city centre. They were very nice, but the house I really liked was in Chiang Phin the same town as Pon and Sak. It wasn’t that far away from them but was on a small complex of about a dozen big houses. It was ten years old and detached with four bedrooms and three bathrooms, it was being sold with all the furniture and it had air conditioning throughout. It was in it’s own grounds and had a white concrete wall all around it with wrought iron fencing on top with matching gates. I liked it straight away. It probably needed a lick of paint on the outside walls but it was a lovely looking house with balconies from two of the bedrooms and it had palm trees in the garden. I took some photos. The asking price is only two million baht, about £30,000. I could see myself living here it just felt right and Jee loved it too.

  We spent the rest of the evening at Saks house just relaxing and eating food, drinking a beer and chatting. A few people dropped by as they always seemed to do around here and stayed for awhile to join in the food and the conversation. I had a good feeling inside, a contentment. It had been a nice day and I was excited about finding the house. Jee was wrapped around me and I felt loved and wanted. Jee’s family were becoming my family. I feel like I belong here. I thought about the temple and the whole Buddha thing. Each day I go through the motions of prayer, and if I say so myself I do it very well but I don’t actually pray. It never occurred to me to say anything or to think about anything, so I just do it all with an empty head. I decided tomorrow that I’m going to pray. I tell Jee and she asks what I will pray for. I tell her I’m going to ask Buddha to stop the mosquitos from biting me. Jee laughs and says