Shifting Gears

by Jenny Hayut

  “You gotta ask that? Really?”

  “Oh,” I say quietly. Well that answers that question. “Is Jax around here? I mean, am I going to meet him, or is he, like, deep undercover or something?”

  “Yeah, he’s undercover right about now. Anyway, if I can help it, you’ll never meet him, because I know him, and once he takes a look at you, I’ll have to put his ass in check.”

  I fight back a giggle because I want to know more. “Are you two on a job together?”

  “Yeah.”

  Damn, he’s not giving me shit. “But I thought...guys like you, you work, like, on your own or something.” Not wanting to feel completely stupid, I stop talking.

  “Most times I am, babe, but sometimes we need eyes and ears elsewhere, so we’ve got each other’s backs when we need it.”

  Why does he need eyes and ears elsewhere? Vinnie? I know I’m not going to get answers, judging by what little he’s giving me, so I don’t bother asking. Instead, I say, “So it would be cool to meet him, I think.”

  “Yeah, not happening. I’m good with him a safe distance away from that ass.”

  My cheeks warm, and I fight back a giggle again. Wonder what this Jax looks like? I bet he’s hot.

  As we pull up to my condo, I see Cass’s car. Good. I’ve been sending her texts here and there, updating her on everything I’ve learned about Holt over the weekend. She was flipping out because I didn’t have the time to explain much to her, so I know she’s going to go into attack mode when I walk in the door. And she does. As soon as the key hits the door, I hear her yelp.

  She meets us at the door and rushes me, hugging me like she hasn’t seen me in years.

  “Seriously, Cass, I’ve only been gone two days.”

  “I know, honey, but I’ve missed you.” She gives me kiss on the cheek. She looks over at Holt when he walks in with my bags then looks back at me. Her eyes get big, as if she’s suddenly realized something. I’m afraid of what’s about to come out of her mouth, because she’s ten times worse than Aunt Helen when she’s got something on her mind.

  “Oh my God, something’s changed. I can feel it. I can see it.”

  “Quiet, Cass. Later,” I whisper to her.

  Too late. Holt heard her, and he’s laughing all the way down the hall. Great.

  “Okay, babe, that’s the last of it. We doing your place?”

  I’d forgotten about our sleeping arrangements, and I’m dazed for a moment. I turn to Cass, looking for an okay that he can stay with us.

  Naturally, being the head cheerleader for the fan club, she says, “Don’t look at me. You know I got no probs with it, girl.”

  Holt walks up to me, pulling me to him. “So you’re okay with it?”

  I look at him, puzzled. Why is he even asking me? “Well, yeah, Holt. You already made it perfectly clear there’s no way I’m sleeping alone anymore, so yeah, you can stay here.”

  Chuckling, he says, “Okay, babe,” and he dips his head to kiss me so passionately it leaves me breathless.

  I didn’t see it coming, standing right there in front of Cass.

  I hear her chuckle as Holt breaks away.

  “So I’m going to go pack some shit up. I’ll be back, babe.”

  “Um, okay,” I say, even though I don’t understand why he needs to pack anything up—he’s only staying the night. Still, his absence will give me the chance to spill it all to Cass about our weekend together.

  She goes in for the kill as Holt walks out the door. “Nik, damn, what was that? You are glowing, honey.”

  “I am?”

  “Uh, yeah, girl. Have you not looked at yourself in the mirror? You were already beautiful, but, honey, you are absolutely stunning now.”

  “Really?”

  “Hello! It must be from all the sex you got this weekend! Don’t even try to say you didn’t, because I can tell, I can tell you got some cock up in you, girl.”

  “Cass!”

  “What? It’s okay. I got some this weekend too.”

  “What! Who?”

  Cass has been having a dry spell for a while. Tired of messing around with the same old type—the get-a-piece-of-ass-then-lose-her-number kind—she’d started being a little more selective about who she gave it up to, which I was glad to see, finally.

  “Girl, we are so not going to talk about my sex life right now, when we could be talking about how yours has taken off like a bat out of fucking hell!”

  “All right, all right. But first, before I forget,” I reach over and kiss her on the cheek, “That’s from Aunt Helen.”

  “Damn. I love that woman. Next visit, I’m in the car with ya.”

  I smile, remembering all the late nights we had together at Aunt Helen’s. We never got any sleep, really. Our nights always ended up full of listening to music, Cass talking on the phone with boys, and doing each other’s hair and makeup. Aunt Helen would join us sometimes, because she was cool like that.

  “Sooo, what are you waiting for? Spill it, woman!” Cass cries.

  And so I tell her every single detail of what Holt shared with me about his childhood, the man he was chasing after those years ago, how he led him away, and why Holt had to go after him.

  Much to her delight, I confirm that we did, in fact, have sex over and over again, and that it, along with his revelations, has definitely changed my way of thinking. I tell her how I put it all on the table.

  She cheers at that, starts clapping.

  I tell her how I told him over and over again how much I loved him then and still do, that I’ve never stopped.

  She squeals and jumps up then literally twirls around.

  “Seriously, Cass?”

  “Honey, you just don’t get it. The two of you are meant to be together. I didn’t see that before, but that night at The Rox when he came to our table, I saw it. I felt it. Angie did too. It makes me so happy to see maybe you’re starting to see that now too. Did you tell him about—”

  “No, Cass. No. I can’t. Not yet. Honestly, I don’t know if I ever can.”

  “Nik, honey, you have to.”

  “Well, he definitely knows how I feel about him, but, Cass, I’m not so sure I’m not rushing into things with him again. I’m pretty sure he love me, but he hasn’t actually said those words yet.

  “We haven’t really talked about his future plans either. I mean, you know I’m not going anywhere. I have my job. You. Aunt Helen. I can’t just go on the road with him, if that’s his plan, and I say that not even knowing if that is what he wants—me with him.

  “Truth is, I still don’t know much about him at all. I mean, I only found out today that he’s got a partner.”

  “Partner? Hmm. What’s his name? Is he hot?”

  Should’ve known that was coming. “His name is Jax. That’s all I know.”

  “Hmm, Jax. Sounds hot.” She shakes her head as if she’s trying to focus on what we were talking about. “Look, Nik, he’ll tell you stuff about him over time, and if you want him to tell you more sooner then maybe you need to motivate him, give him an incentive to talk. Work it out of him, honey. Men love to be teased, turns them the fuck on. I promise. You should try it.”

  I laugh at the thought of being able to work anything out of Holt.

  “Well, I can see sleepovers at Clay and Angie’s are in my future, and I am totally down with that. Taking one for the team to help that much-deprived sex life of yours soar like it’s been needing to for way way too long.”

  “Huh, what do you mean?”

  “I know you feel all that pent up energy inside you dying to come out,” she says, laughing.

  “No, not that.” (Although she’s absolutely right—losing control with Holt is the best fucking feeling) “I mean about you sleeping over at Clay and Angie’s. Why do you think you have to do that?”

  She laughs harder. “I knew it! You don’t realize what happened when Holt left here, do you?”

  “Uh, yeah. He went to get some clothes to stay over here tonight
.”

  “Uh no, try again. H went to pack up whatever shit he’s got left in that motel because he’s coming to stay here, sweetheart, and you gave him the okay to do it.”

  “What? I did not!”

  “Yeah, you did. I heard you with my own ears. Why the heck do you think he asked you what you thought about it? He was getting your permission to move in.”

  Holy fucking hell.

  “How did I miss that?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m kind of glad you did, otherwise you would’ve put too much thought into it, convinced yourself it wasn’t a good idea, and turned him away. Although, something tells me that man would’ve convinced you otherwise. Yummy! And just so you know, what I see, that man adores you, girl. He loves you, no doubt about it. Men are different. In his mind, he’s already told you he loves you. They just don’t use the same words as us, honey. I’m betting he’ll come out and say it, though. I’m sure of it.”

  “I’m gonna go unpack before he gets back. Shit. I can’t believe all that went over my head.”

  “That’s because you’ve got your mind on other things. I know that look. And if your weekend was anything like that kiss, it’s a miracle your ass is still standing. Jesus, Nik.”

  I drag my bags down the hall to my bedroom. How I could I have agreed to let Holt move in with me and not even realize it?

  Well, now that Kilo’s gone, there’s no reason for us to be in the motel, so he would’ve been here anyway since he made it quite clear I would be in bed with him every night until we get shit straight with Vinnie. An arrangement I totally do not object to now.

  I click my iPod on to my new favorite song, Aaron Lewis’s “Tangled Up in You.” After hearing Holt sing it, I fell in love with it and can’t seem to get enough. Every time I play it, I get the visual.

  Someone knocks at my bedroom door.

  Thinking its Cass, I shout, “Come in, babe.” I look up to see that it isn’t Cass, it’s Holt. He’s back already. He looks around for a moment then smiles when his gaze settles on my iPod. He hears the song, making the connection.

  “I’m thinking you need to call me babe more often, because hearing it just made my cock hard.”

  I blush as he closes the distance between us and pushes my hair to the side. He traces my cheek with his finger. “Damn, I love that I can make you do that, babe. My sweet Nicolette.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m not so sweet anymore. Thanks to you.”

  “Fuck, yeah, baby. Your first and, if I have my way, your last.”

  I tingle, instantly hungry for him.

  Cass busts into the room in a frenzy, stopping me from showing him what his words do to me. “I completely forgot to tell you, Niki, Gavin and the boys are playing at The Rox tonight. It’s going to be their last time before going out to Cali to start recording their album. I thought you might want to go but wasn’t sure if you’d be too tired. In all the, um, excitement,” she looks over at Holt, “I forgot all about it.”

  I turn to look at him as he says “Up to you, babe. I’m game.”

  “Hell yeah, I want to go. I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

  “Yay! Okay, gonna call Clay and Ang to let them know we’re on. I thought maybe we could dress up a little too, since, you know, it’s their last night and all. I already pulled you out something out to wear. It’s in my room.” She winks at me. Clearly, she had the whole thing planned. She knew I’d want to go.

  Chapter 22

  My “outfit” turns out to be a new dress. Apparently, for some crazy reason, Cass went out and bought brand new dresses and shoes for both of us. As I slip it over my shoulders and slide it down, the fabric feels soft against my skin as it hugs my hips and ass. That much I know even before looking in the mirror.

  Over the years, Cass has learned my size and what works well with my shape. In front of the mirror, I take a breath as I stare at my reflection. I look hot. The teal color looks good up against my skin, and the way it fits shows off every single curve I own. It’s dangerously short though. Not something I’m used to. The thought of bending over in it makes me nervous.

  I feather my hands across the crisscross pattern in the front, which is low cut and reveals a lot of my cleavage. Another thing I don’t normally do. But the thought of Holt seeing me look like this tempts me into keeping it on.

  As if the dress isn’t enough, Cass pulls out the shoes she bought for me: a pair of black, strappy stilettos. Just looking at them make my feet hurt. After strapping them on, though, I decide the pain is going to be worth it to look like this. God.

  For the first time, I can see the glow Cass was talking about. My skin almost looks like looks like beads of sunlight are coming from it.

  I look happy. Can’t help but think about the festering monster though. The disease inside me that unleashes itself at any sign of happiness. Shuts it down. Steals it away from me. I push past it, refusing to allow it to control my night.

  “Girl, you look amazing in that dress!” Cass says, coming to stand beside me.

  “Thanks.” I can’t help twisting my body back and forth, staring at my reflection.

  I glance over at Cass, who looks pretty smoking herself. She has on a fire-red dress even shorter than mine. It’s the kind of dress you can’t wear a bra with, so hers is just the opposite of mine. Everything left to the imagination in the front but the back, whew, not so much. It scoops down to a puddle of fabric that rests just above her ass, undoubtedly teasing the eye. Her matching red stilettos and cherry red lipstick make her look like she’s on a mission.

  “Cass, is something up, sweetheart? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love getting dressed up, but I feel like we’re going overboard here and can’t help but think you got some kind of agenda going on.”

  “Nope, no agenda,” she giggles, “just want to look hot tonight, and I figure Holt won’t mind seeing you in that dress either.”

  I look at myself in the mirror again. I think she’s right. Shit, I’m actually starting to get a little turned on looking at myself.

  Although our skills are not as great as Lita’s, we manage, in a pinch, to do each other’s hair. I decide on an up do, leaving some pieces hanging here and there, and Cass goes all roaring twenties with a sleek side style, curling only the ends. She is definitely going to turn heads tonight. We both spritz ourselves with perfume and make our way out to Holt.

  He’s sitting on the couch, watching TV, with a beer in his hand. He must hear the sound of our heels clacking on the hardwood floor, because he turns and looks in our direction. As he locks eyes with me, he drops his beer, and it goes crashing to the floor.

  I hear him say, “Fuck,” as he gets up and walks to the kitchen, I assume to clean up the mess he just made.

  Cass chuckles under her breath. “Yep, I’m good. I knew he’d like that dress on you the minute I saw it on the rack.”

  I giggle at her, but I’m still a little nervous about going out in public with barely anything covering me. “I think you’re right.”

  I follow Holt into the kitchen to help him with the spilled beer, but I find him leaning up against the wall, in a daze. He gives me a funny look as I walk toward him.

  “You okay?”

  He rakes his eyes up and down and back up again. I shiver at the intense look in his eyes. I know what he’s thinking. “Babe, I don’t know what got my cock harder first—that dress, that neck, or those fuck-me shoes. I had to get away from you, because I was about ready to throw you on the floor, and I didn’t fucking care if your girl got an eye full or not.”

  The opportunity is knocking, and I’m going for it. Trying out my how-to-be-a-tease skills. Seeing this as my first time trying, and I’m truly clueless about what the fuck I’m doing, I still somehow manage to keep my composure, which is hard as shit to do. He opens his mouth, I get wet.

  I slowly make my way toward him, looking at him like I’m ravenous, licking my lips as I keep my eyes directly on him. As I reach him, I take his hand and slowly rai
se it to my exposed neck. His hand feels so good. I instantly heat up between my legs.

  “So,” I purr at him. “You don’t know if you like this part?” I guide his hand across my bare neck. “Or this part?” Giggling, I move his hand to rest on my nearly exposed breasts. “Or this?” I lift my leg and wrap it around him, digging my heel into his thigh. I have not taken my gaze off his, and from the hunger I see there, I have him exactly where I want him.

  Cass was right. This isn’t so hard and, damn, I have him panting like a dog in less than a minute. As I stand there, grinning seductively at him, relishing in what I did to him and so quickly, he takes me off guard. While I still have my leg around him, he reaches between my legs and discovers what I already know. I’ve made myself hungry with my little show.

  “Seeing all of this has made me want to eat this.” He pushes my panties aside and shoves a finger in me, stroking my clit with his thumb. I moan, forgetting we’re in the kitchen with Cass just outside in the hallway.

  “Shh, baby. Now, see, I think you deserve some punishment for that little game,” he whispers to me with an evil laugh. “You know I can’t do what you just teased me with, so now, my sweet Nicolette, I’m going to make you suffer. If you’re a good girl, I might let you take this cock later.”

  I’m breathless, and my body is scorching from his touch yet again, reminding me that my desire for him will never subside.

  How the hell did I just let my first attempt at seducing him backfire? Shit. He totally turned the tables on me. Yeah, I still have a lot to learn.

  Holt slowly releases me and, as I straighten, he licks his fingers clean of me. He guides me back into the living room just as Ang walks through the door. Cass must’ve spread the word to her too, as she’s also dressed up and super sexy. I twist my neck to look behind her, only to see she’s alone. No Clay.

  “Oh my God, you girls look hot as shit!” Ang glances back and forth from me to Cass.

  “Thanks, honey, so do you.” I smile.

  I didn’t think a dress could get any shorter, but Ang is proving me wrong with a black mini. Her hot pink stilettos are definitely going to get her some attention tonight too.