Shifting Gears

by Jenny Hayut

  “Niki! You look different, girl. Loving it! You are owning sexy, honey. What did you do to her skin, Cass, I need some of that!”

  “It wasn’t me.”

  They both turn to look at Holt and grin.

  “Um, thanks.” I’m still unsure and a bit uncomfortable in my dress, but with Holt’s reaction, there’s no way I’m changing.

  Holt must sense my insecurity, as he bends down and whispers in my ear, “That dress was meant for that body, babe, and I’m the only one who’s seeing what’s under it.”

  I catch my breath and giggle at the same time as he wraps his arm around my waist, playing with the soft fabric at my thigh. I look over at Ang and Cass and see the smiles on their faces. My guess, they both know Holt just whispered something naughty in my ears.

  “So where’s Clay?” I ask Ang.

  “He had to head out for this last minute photo shoot. He said he might try to join up with us later.”

  “Oh,” is all I get out before Cass chimes in.

  “Well, I guess it’s a good thing we got Nik’s man to keep us safe tonight then. Getting to ride in that sweet car of his is a bonus!”

  I glare at Cass for calling Holt “my man,” because we haven’t established that yet, and I really don’t want Cass to be the one doing so. Great.

  “Shit, yeah, Cass. His car is hot as hell,” Ang says, as Holt holds the door open for them and they climb into the backseat. He then walks over to my side and opens the door for me, holding my hand to help me in.

  “Makes you wonder how many—” Ang abruptly stops as I get in. It must’ve hit that it isn’t the greatest conversation to be having in front of me, as I imagine she was about to say how many women had been in that backseat.

  As Holt walks around to his door, I can’t stop myself from finishing Angie’s thought. Just how many women has Holt had in this car? Damn.

  Check it, Nik. In the past. Don’t start dredging up shit in that head of yours.

  He slides in, turns to me, and offers me that sexy mouthwatering smile of his. “Ready, ladies?”

  “Hell, yes,” the girls cry out from the back, as I sit, pulling my dress down.

  ****

  It’s crowded tonight, as I figured it would be with word going out it’s Galaxy’s last night performing before they hit it big. We head straight for our spot, which, thankfully, isn’t taken. I was having visions of Holt getting into an altercation with some assholes not wanting to move, knowing what the end result would be. My sexy, lethal man.

  I’m standing at the table, taking in the crowd, when Holt comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my body. He rests his chin on my shoulder and drops his lips to my ear. “What do you want to drink, babe? Stella?”

  “Yes, please.”

  I raise my head to meet his eyes and smile. I love how he remembers all the little things about me, convincing me even more how he feels about me. He smiles then tilts his head back to my ear and nibbles it before releasing me. Shit. He’s going to keep to his word. Making me suffer for my little show.

  After asking the girls what they want to drink, Holt walks to the bar. My eyes are on his perfectly chiseled back and shoulders. The ridges and ripples of his muscles moving. The heat of wanting those arms on my hips burns me.

  He looks hot as hell tonight too, dressed in all black again—his favorite, it seems—a black slim-fit V-neck t-shirt, along with a pair of black stone-washed jeans, and his black biker boots. His hair, as usual, is in total disarray. Hot as hell. From head to fucking toe, totally mouthwatering.

  Is he really mine? I still truly have no clue. I know I want him to be, and right now, I want him to be in me. He turns and looks back at me, catching my eyes on him, and winks at me. He felt my stare, like I feel his.

  I chuckle and wonder if he can read my thoughts too. Damn what he brings out in me. So out of control, thinking of what I want him to do to me every time he is near. My hunger in overload, I look in the direction of the bathrooms and can’t help but think of him shoving me up against the wall and letting him do whatever he wants with me. A heat spikes through me as I’m overcome by the thought.

  “It’s crowded as hell in here,” Ang says, taking me out of my fantasy.

  Holt is back with our drinks and sets them on the table in front of me.

  “I think I’m going to go walk around up front, see who’s here,” Ang says.

  “I’ll come with,” Cass yells. “We’ll be back, chicka.” She turns to me, winking.

  Holt is grinning at me.

  “What?”

  “Just wondering what you were thinking while you watched me walk away just then.”

  I look at him, in my newly-learned seductive way—I never said I was giving up trying—and I’m certain he knows exactly what I was thinking, but I play along. “Hmm, guess you’re just going to have to find out later.”

  He stalks up to me with a look that scares me, as I still don’t know what Holt’s capable of. “You keep that shit up, babe, and you ain’t seeing a fucking band tonight, because that ass of yours will be in bed, underneath me, screaming out my fucking name.”

  Hmm, seems I just took the reins back. I like this game, I’m taking it full throttle.

  I reach down and grab ahold of him, between his legs. “Well, why don’t we just take it to the bathroom right now, and I’ll show you what I was thinking.”

  He doesn’t say a word, he just grabs my wrist and tugs me toward the bathrooms.

  Oh fuck.

  He shoves me into the women’s bathroom and follows me in, locking the door. I’m torn between shock and desire. He’s going to give me exactly what I fantasized about, I just didn’t think he would actually do it.

  I should’ve known better.

  He pushes me up against the wall. I can’t breathe, I’m so turned on.

  He whispers in my ear, “Is this what you want, my little tease?” He rips my panties off in one forceful tug. He unzips his jeans, releasing his already-hard cock, and shoves it in me instantly, not giving me a second to object.

  I cry out, “Oh my God,” as he begins to make my vision a reality, spiraling me into sweet oblivion.

  Thanks to Holt, my desire has temporarily subsided as I walk out of the bathroom. Bare ass. Again, thanks to Holt. A line has formed outside the door. Damn. I bury my head in Holt’s chest, thinking they’re pissed off about having to wait so Holt could fuck me senseless. Instead, as he leads us down the hall, they start clapping. One woman says, “Damn, I wish I could get a man to make me scream like that.”

  Oh my God, they heard us. We had an audience. Shit. I’d never thought of having sex in public before, and now not only had I done it, I’d been so caught up in wanting him, I hadn’t even considered getting caught or someone hearing us.

  I tilt my head up to him, and he’s grinning his ass off, the discovery not appearing to faze him at all. He laughs and says, “Whoops.”

  I can’t decide whether to be mad at him or not. After all, what he just did to me in there was fucking mind-blowing, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

  As we make our way back to our table, Holt’s arm is firmly on my bare ass. The feeling of possession comes over me again. The simple act of showing the world I’m his.

  When we get to the table, Ang is back, talking to some guy I don’t recognize. I hope like hell my escapades in the bathroom don’t show on my face.

  “Hey, Niki, this is Kevin. He’s a guitarist in one of the bands in the lineup tonight. Their first time here.”

  Of course he’s a guitarist. I hadn’t thought of it before, but I guess I have a thing for guitarists too. Well, at least the ones who are badass bounty hunters by day.

  “Cool. Good luck to you.” I twist my head to look for Cass. “Where’s Cass?”

  “She was up there with Gavin last time I saw her.”

  What’s up with that? Maybe that’s why she was all about getting sexed up tonight.” That reminds me of something I meant to ask Holt. Despite al
l the opening up recently, I know he doesn’t like to share, so I wait until Ang’s attention is completely on her new friend, which doesn’t take long.

  “I’ve been wanting to ask you, how do you know Gavin?”

  “We went to high school together.”

  Damn, that was quick. Is it really that easy? Is that all it takes—just ask and he answers?

  “After I walked in on Mom that night, I moved in with him for a while. His parents were cool, knew some of the shit that was going down, so they let me stay there. We got tight, and we’d jam together lots of nights when his band came over to practice. He’s a good guy. I hope shit works out for him. He and his boys deserve that shit.”

  I feel a little hurt that this band I’ve been following for so long had a connection with the badass man I love, and its leader knew his secrets all this time, when I’d only just learned them.

  “So he, um, knows about your mom and all that?”

  “No, babe, he doesn’t know everything. You’re the only one who does.”

  His trust in me melts my heart. I wrap my arms around his neck, and reach up to give him a kiss on his lips. My kiss lingers, and our mood is totally different from what it was just moments ago in the bathroom. A reminder of what he went through, what he overcame. Holding all that shit in. Not having anyone to talk to about it. Until me, it seems.

  Wanting to lighten the mood, I whisper in his ear, “You do realize I’m forced to walk around without panties for the rest of the night, thanks to you.”

  “Yep.” Holt laughs, patting his front pocket, where he’s safely tucked them. He drops his hand to my ass and squeezes, sending a rush of excitement across my body, making me giggle. He brings his lips to my ear and whispers. “The idea of you in this place, with all these fucking men watching you, knowing what that body can do. Knowing I’m the only one who’s going to get it...I’m lucky as fuck.”

  I whisper back to him, giving him a little of his own medicine as I bite his ear, “Only you.”

  He growls, and the sound sends another shiver of delight through my body. I smile as I move one of my hands down to cup his ass and squeeze.

  “Babe, if you want to see this band, I suggest you stop. Can’t take much more. I’m already hard again.”

  Laughing, I back off. “Okay, okay. I’ll be good, I promise.”

  “I didn’t say I wanted you to be good, I just don’t want you to be bad right now. Show me that shit when you’re spread out on your bed and naked for me.”

  Three beers later, Cass finally makes her way back over to our table, looking flustered as hell. I know that look. Same look I had walking out of the bathroom. Breathless, flushed cheeks. Yep. Seems I wasn’t the only one turning tricks tonight.

  I give her a knowing look and grin as she sits down beside me. I’m dying to know. Ang is still totally engrossed with her friend, flirting her ass off with him, like none of us are there. Guitarists, I think, laughing.

  Cass scoots closer to me, while Holt stands above us, like a predator protecting his prey. He’s refused to sit down all night. I figure it’s got something to do with his work. The need to be able to take charge at a moment’s notice. I’m finding it kinda hot actually, all that badass and muscle pouring off him.

  “It was Gavin,” Cass leans in close and whispers to me. “I gave in. After all this time, I couldn’t take it anymore, and now that he’s leaving, I guess I didn’t want to miss my chance.”

  “What?” Totally didn’t see that one coming at all. “How the hell did that happen, Cass? You never even told me you had a thing for him!”

  “Well, because it’s kind of different with him. I don’t know how to explain it, Nik. I like him, I mean I really like him. He’s funny, he’s talented, and he’s really, really sweet.”

  She doesn’t bother to say how hot he is, which is the very first quality any breathing woman would notice about Gavin. I’m worried. This is sounding all too familiar. And he’s leaving.

  “So what are you going to do now? I mean he’s going to California. Are you two going to keep in touch or what?”

  “Well yeah, he doesn’t know how long he’s going to be there. He wants me to come visit, and you know I’ve always wanted to go there, so I told him I would.”

  “Really?” I say, shocked at the suddenness of it all.

  “Yeah. I guess it just hit me, Nik. I see the shit you’ve gone through, and I know what it did to you.” She drops her voice to a whisper, I guess not wanting Holt to hear. “I took my chances and turns out he was feeling the same. We made it pretty clear how we feel about each other, we know the deal, so we’re going to roll with it. See what happens.”

  “I’m happy for you, honey. Funny how I just found out that him and Holt kinda grew up together.”

  Her brows scrunch as the confusion spreads across her face. “Huh? They did?”

  “Yeah. He lived with him for a while after he moved out of his mom’s.” I try not give away too much, not sure how Holt would feel if he knew I’d told Cass everything he confided to me.

  He must sense my tension, as he reaches down and whispers in my ear. “It’s okay, babe, I know she’s your girl. I know she was there when I was gone. I know you talk. It’s okay.”

  I smile, and the tension fades away.

  “Seriously?” Cass says, looking up at Holt.

  “Yeah, sweets, your boy and me go way back.”

  Damn, he heard us talking.

  Cass doesn’t seem to care as the excitement boils over. “That is so cool. So maybe you guys can come with me one time when I go visit him or something. That would be so much fun.”

  Holt shakes his head. “He ain’t gonna want company when you come visit him from across the country.”

  We all break into laughter as Cass agrees.

  Gavin and his band finally take the stage, and they’re putting on an awesome set, the best I think I’ve ever heard. I’m sure they’re giving it their all, knowing it’s their last night playing here for what might be a long time. I hope, for my sake, and now Cass’s, that it’s not too long.

  Holt has been taking every opportunity to touch me and has my body pinned up against him. Falling back on my promise, I grind my ass and sway my hips into him, feeling his arousal up against my ass. Yeah, I’m going to pay when we get home, I can feel it. I’m so glad I have the late shift tomorrow, because I have a feeling we’re not going to get much sleep.

  Galaxy finishes up their last song, and the crowd roars for them. Gavin thanks all of them for their friendships and support over the years. His words almost bring me to tears, because I’m so happy they’ve been given this wonderful opportunity but sad they won’t be on the regular lineup at The Rox anymore.

  After leaving the stage and being bombarded by his female fans, Gavin finally makes his way over to our table. I’m guessing more to see Cass than us.

  “Hey, bro,” he says as he and Holt shake hands in that guy way.

  “Good show, man,” Holt says to him.

  “Thanks, we really poured it out tonight. Gonna miss this place.”

  “And your fans are going to miss you. Myself included,” I chime in.

  “Thanks, Niki. That means a lot.”

  When he gets to Cass, he picks her up, and she lets out a squeal then starts laughing. She looks so happy.

  “And what did you think?” he asks her.

  “Hmm, you were okay, I guess.”

  “Okay, huh? Hmm, well, maybe you should come home with me so I can try to change your mind. Show you just how good I feel...I mean, sound.”

  We share a few drinks and eventually go our separate ways. With Cass staying out for the night, that leaves the condo to me and Holt. I can hardly wait to make it home.

  ****

  I’m standing over the stove, making my triple Ps, wanting to show off my skills to Holt. My iPod’s playing on shuffle. All I’m wearing is Holt’s t-shirt, which I snagged from the floor, after waking up from our long night of fucking. Always fu
cking with us. Never love-making.

  Except for that one time in my room, that morning after we had sex again. When I was running scared. When he kissed me slowly and with so much passion. He was showing me what I needed to see.

  Now that we both know where we stand, it seems neither of us can slow down long enough for what happens between us to be classified as making love. What we share is raw. Ravenous. It’s making up for lost time.

  As I prepare the pancake batter mix, Holt’s arms and bare chest are suddenly around me, his face on my shoulder. “Morning, babe.”

  I turn my face to his, breathing him in. “Morning.”

  He tightens his hold on me. “What’s for breakfast?”

  I playfully hit him with the spatula. “Well, I was trying to surprise you with my famous pancakes, my triple Ps, but you couldn’t just stay in bed like you were supposed to.” I poke his nose.

  “Babe, I know when you’re gone. That’s what woke me.” He kisses my neck. “So, tell me, how does one make world famous pancakes?”

  “Go take a shower. By the time you’re out, they’ll be ready.”

  He doesn’t budge except to scoop my mixing bowl from the counter and place it in front of us. He wraps his arms around my waist. “Show me.”

  I giggle, trying to hide my excitement, not wanting him to see that I could no longer care less about making any kind of pancake. All I want is for him to throw me across the counter.

  “Okay, well, first you crack the eggs.” I grab two eggs, but as I’m about to crack them over the bowl, he puts his hands around mine, and we crack it together.

  He caresses my hands as we watch it slowly glide out of its shell into the bowl. How the hell am I so turned on by a fucking egg?

  “Then you add the remaining ingredients, but you have to add the pecans last, because they’re what pull it all together.” I quickly pour the cups I’ve laid out on the counter into the bowl.

  He kisses my neck and strokes my hips. Dear God.

  “Now it’s ready for the mixer,” I say, barely able to concentrate.

  Trent Reznor’s voice comes on my iPod, singing, “The Only Time,” the one I played over and over again on the countless nights after Holt left me. The lyrics, his voice, the beat, Holt goes with it by sliding his hands up and under his t-shirt I’m wearing, whispering in my ear, “Love my scent on you, babe.”