pang and power

by Saintcrowe, Val

  “I might remember this story,” said Absalom. “The gods were angry and they punished him?”

  “Well, yes,” she said. “But mostly because he had a weapon he was going to use to kill them.”

  “So, you would want to tell the people that Feteran was their champion,” said Absalom. “Their champion against the gods.”

  “Yes,” said Nicce. “And isn’t it interesting how the gods disappeared just before Feteran came back to Rabia to advise King Timon?”

  Absalom laughed. “That’s not bad. People were frightened by the massacre at the castle. So many were dead, and most of the ones who died were servants and soldiers—relatives of the common people. It is not so long ago that they do not still remember.”

  “The gods did that to them, but Feteran saved them,” said Nicce. “I think it could work. And then, as a final piece, the grand gesture would be that Feteran kills the gods entirely. Except that will be me and Eithan doing that.”

  “How are you going to manage that?” said Absalom. “How many gods are left?”

  “Sullo, Aitho, and Yanna,” she said. “Maybe more. I don’t know. Some of the gods we have stories about don’t seem to be real.”

  “Like Phir? Oea?”

  “No, they’re real, but dead,” said Nicce. “They got sick of being alive and chose to die.”

  “Oh,” said Absalom in a different voice.

  “We’re going to live forever, too, Absalom. Someday—”

  “No,” said Absalom. “Let’s not speak of that.”

  “Is this another of the things you ignore?”

  “Absolutely,” he said. “Contemplating certain things drives a man mad. Best not to.”

  She wondered about that. It seemed wrong, but she wondered if it wasn’t true anyway. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter how we kill the gods. The important thing is that we tie Feteran into all of it. I have to go and find Eithan. Do you want to come and help me convince him?”

  “I’m not entirely convinced myself,” said Absalom. “But I’ll tag along. Why not?” He shrugged.

  * * *

  Eithan found himself a little more intimidated than he thought he would be when he came face to face with Xenia. She stood with her arms over her chest, her long golden hair pulled back from her face, her expression severe. He had a rush of memories of the woman, the way she’d told him the whereabouts of Nicce that first night, the way she’d fought to get out of the tower when they’d bled her, the way she’d looked at him when she thought he’d killed her lover, Revel.

  Maybe he was a bit afraid of her. She was a formidable woman.

  “Pati has something she wants to tell you,” he said.

  Pati rolled her eyes. “Oh, thank you so much. So nice of you to leave it to me.”

  Xenia was in the sitting area of the apartment she shared with Revel, who was also there, but sitting on a couch and watching everything with wide eyes.

  “What is going on?” said Xenia. “Why have you been with my daughter?”

  “She came to me,” said Eithan. “Go on, Pati, explain it all to her. Start with Lian.”

  Xenia’s brows came together. “Lian? What?”

  Pati sighed. “Look, Mama, I know you don’t approve of him, but he’s… I love him.”

  “You do?” Xenia was astonished. She went to Revel and sat down next to her, looking stunned. “Since when?”

  “Why do you think I’m always going out to fight nightmares?” said Pati.

  “I assumed you were being a stupid adolescent who thought no harm could come to her and being rebellious for the sake of rebellion.” Xenia reached over and took Revel’s hand. “I had no idea you had some other reason.”

  Revel smiled. “Does he love you, or is this an unrequited crush?”

  Pati blushed. “Oh, he likes me, too.”

  “Yes, I witnessed them kissing,” said Eithan.

  “Oh,” said Xenia, laughing. “Why didn’t you simply tell me, you silly girl?”

  “You never wanted me anywhere near him,” said Pati, looking horrified. “You’re not angry?”

  “I think it’s adorable,” said Xenia. “Don’t you, love?” She turned to her wife.

  “Very much,” said Revel, who was also smiling.

  Pati gaped at them. “I’ve been sneaking around for nothing?”

  “Well, we don’t want you fighting nightmares,” said Xenia. “It’s too dangerous, and it’s not your job. The knights and Lian have strength that you do not have.”

  “They can be injured just as easily as I can,” said Pati.

  “Not Lian,” said Eithan quietly. He wasn’t certain that Lian could heal himself, but he thought it was likely.

  Pati flopped down on a couch opposite her mothers. “I can’t believe this. All this time, and I could have just told you.”

  “Yes,” said Xenia. “Don’t be angry. It’s good that we have it all out in the open now.” She furrowed her brow. “What does Eithan have to do with it?”

  Pati looked up at him.

  He waited for her to explain, but she didn’t say anything, and finally, he sighed and gave in. “She wants me to turn her, like I did the brides.”

  Xenia’s face went pale. “Oh.”

  Revel knitted her brows together. “Oh.”

  “Why?” said Xenia.

  “I’m going to be older than Lian,” she said. “He hasn’t aged since he was eighteen, and I don’t want to either.”

  “It’s about the age of most of the brides,” said Eithan. Xenia had been a bit older, he thought, maybe twenty-five. “I told her I’d do it.”

  “You did?” said Xenia.

  “I wanted her to tell you about it first,” said Eithan.

  Revel patted Xenia’s thigh. “This would solve some things that you worry about, love.”

  Xenia put her fingertips to her lips. “But… you’re so young. Are you sure?”

  “You don’t want to watch her age and die,” said Revel. “This way you don’t have to.”

  “It’s not a solution,” said Xenia. “What about your children, Pati? Will we turn them too? Everyone can’t live forever.”

  “My children?” said Pati. “Who says I’m having children?”

  “That’s something to think about another day,” said Revel.

  “You always say that,” said Xenia. “But that day will come. We are unnatural, and now our daughter wants to become unnatural as well. And I don’t know if…”

  “It’s Pati’s body,” said Eithan. “I think it’s her choice. Revel was never given a choice. Neither were you. If you take hers from her, it’s the same sort of tyranny.”

  “It’s not,” said Xenia, shaking her head. “But it doesn’t sound as if I could stop you, even if I wanted to, and I don’t know that I do.”

  Pati grinned. “Wonderful. Then when can we do it, Eithan? Tonight?”

  Eithan opened his mouth to protest, but he was interrupted by a knock on the door.

  They all turned.

  “Who is it?” called Xenia.

  In response, the door burst open and a messenger from the castle was there, looking out of breath. “The king is dead!” he said. “The king is dead.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Eithan was surprised to hear the news. He caught the messenger and began questioning him immediately, but he learned that the king had died in his sleep, and it seemed to be a natural death, that nothing untoward had happened.

  His first thought had been that Feteran had killed the king, even though it would have been a stupid move on Feteran’s part, making everything they were trying to accomplish more difficult. Satisfied this wasn’t the case, he allowed the messenger to leave so that he could deliver his message to everyone else in the keep.

  Eithan left Xenia and the others and hurried down the hallways. Where was Feteran? He couldn’t think that Prince Graydon—well, King Graydon now—would tolerate the man’s presence. If he was going to install Feteran on the throne, he would need to prote
ct Feteran, and for that, he’d need Absalom and the knights.

  Luckily, he met Absalom and Nicce coming down one of the corridors.

  They hadn’t heard the news about the king, but once they did, Nicce agreed that their first order of business must be to protect Feteran.

  Absalom was a bit more wary, but he promised to get the others and meet them in the castle.

  Eithan and Nicce went to collect weapons and then started for the castle. They made it through the gate without any resistance from the guards and they moved through Castle Brinne unmolested.

  But when they arrived at Feteran’s chambers, which were next to his study where they’d spoken to him before, there were guards on the door keeping Feteran from leaving. King Graydon’s orders.

  Eithan stared them down. “We need Feteran to be released into the Knights of Midian’s custody.”

  They exchanged glances with each other. They clearly recognized Eithan.

  When he put his hand on his sword, they gave way and let him into the room.

  Feteran was only half dressed, looking pale and worried. Eithan told him to come with him, but Feteran delayed, trying to pack up his things from his room. He was probably right that Graydon wouldn’t let him back in the castle, but Eithan tried to impress upon him that they didn’t have time.

  While he and Feteran were arguing and Feteran was thrusting things into a sack, the other knights showed up, led by Absalom. Philo prowled around Feteran’s chambers, muttering under his breath. Septimus leaned against the door and used his dagger to pick his nails.

  And then more of Graydon’s guards showed up.

  Eithan glared at Feteran. “We could have already been gone by now.”

  Feteran squeaked out an apology, but Eithan didn’t hear it because they had to fight.

  The guards came for them, and they outnumbered the knights and Nicce by about three to one, but that proved to be little contest. Eithan yelled for them not to kill if they could help it, so they just disarmed and wounded and incapacitated.

  Even so, they were all sweaty and swearing as they dragged Feteran out of his room and down the corridors of Castle Brinne.

  There was another skirmish at the door, less guards this time, but they were all a little tired, so it went on a bit longer than it should have.

  Nicce got stabbed in the shoulder, though, and lit up to heal herself and the guards were terrified by that. They screamed and scattered.

  “Huh,” said Nicce. “I keep forgetting how often that works. I should light up as a first offense from now on.”

  They took Feteran back to the keep and hid him in a room on the top floor.

  Almost immediately, there was a summons from the king for Absalom, strongly worded because the Guild served the crown, and they were disobeying the direct orders of the king.

  Absalom read it several times before tossing it on the table in his study. He, Eithan, and Nicce were there. Septimus was guarding Feteran for his own protection, and Philo and Jonas would rotate in as needed.

  “You can’t give in to him,” said Nicce.

  Absalom sighed. “Listen, I know that the two of you are having fun playing at changing the world or whatever challenge it is that you have worked to amuse yourselves—”

  “That’s not what this is,” Eithan growled.

  Absalom only laughed.

  Eithan shifted on his feet. “Anyway, I’ll go see the king. We can negotiate to keep Feteran.”

  “Negotiate, eh?” said Absalom. “What do you have to bargain with?”

  “The Guild, of course,” said Eithan. “If he wants the knights and the others to protect the realm from the nightmares—”

  “I am the Guildmaster, not you, Eithan,” said Absalom. “You may have been in charge of the Knights of Midian for a century, but you are not anymore.”

  Eithan took a deep breath, folding his arms over his chest. “You’re right, of course. My apologies, Absalom.”

  Absalom looked back and forth between them. “I suppose it’s too much to hope you’d give up on Feteran in light of recent events.”

  “We can’t,” said Nicce. “Now is the perfect time, when everything is in flux as the leadership is changing.” She turned to him. “I’ve had an idea about how we can get the people to be pleased about the death of the gods.”

  Eithan’s eyes widened. “You’re not letting that go?”

  “It’s good.” She turned to Absalom. “You thought it was good, didn’t you?”

  Absalom rubbed his forehead. “Well, I’d be a fool if I didn’t think you two would pull this off, so I’d rather be on the winning side. Do whatever you need. You have my support and the backing of the Guild.”

  Eithan’s face split into a grin. “Thank you, Absalom.” He snatched up the summons from the king. “Nicce, I suppose you want to come.”

  “Yes,” she said.

  “Fine,” he said. “But stay back and keep your head down.”

  “You don’t want them to know you brought your lover along?”

  He cocked his head to one side at the term.

  “I’m trying out that word,” she said. “I don’t really like it. It’s not quite right.”

  “It’s perfectly accurate,” he said, giving her a smile. “I do think if there were any displays of affection, or if you contradicted me, it might go worse than otherwise.”

  “I wouldn’t do either of those things.” She was huffy.

  “Should I come?” said Absalom.

  “What? Do you want to?” said Eithan.

  “Not particularly. If he has your heads cut off, I want to pretend that I had no notion of what you were doing.”

  Eithan put a hand on Absalom’s shoulder. “Excellent plan. I appreciate your support.”

  “Any time,” said Absalom lightly.

  “Don’t get us killed, Eithan,” said Nicce.

  “You’ll just heal us,” said Eithan.

  “I can’t heal your head being removed from your shoulders,” she said.

  “Noted,” said Eithan. “I’ll do my best to see we’re not beheaded.”

  “See that you do,” said Nicce.

  * * *

  “I remember you,” said King Graydon, slouching on his throne, his crown tilted ever so slightly to the left of his brow. The look he gave Eithan was venomous.

  “I imagine you would,” said Eithan, holding the king’s gaze. He’d always felt ashamed of what he’d done to the small princes when he was trying to find Nicce. It had gotten Rhodes killed, something that had shattered her, and it had felt like crossing a line, threatening small children in that way. Thinking about it made his insides squeeze painfully, but he couldn’t let any of that show. It would weaken him, and he couldn’t afford to be weak. He had to be the monster that Graydon remembered from his youth. How old must have Graydon been then, anyway? Ten or twelve perhaps?

  “Where is Sir Absalom?” said Graydon. “I sent for him.”

  “I intercepted the summons and came myself,” said Eithan.

  “I don’t wish to speak to you,” said Graydon. “I wish to speak to Sir Absalom. He is the Guildmaster.”

  “Is he?” said Eithan. “I think you’ll find, when it comes to the Knights of Midian, they look to me for their orders, and they are quite willing to carry out anything I suggest, no matter what it is. I don’t suppose I have to remind you of what nearly happened to your younger brother. What’s his name? Liam?”

  Graydon’s nostrils flared. “You’re despicable.”

  “I can be,” said Eithan. “Let’s be friends, though, Your Majesty. I don’t see why things have to change. You need the Guild to fight off the nightmares. Otherwise they’ll come out of the dark forest and wander up the mountain. Some of them have long legs and even longer tentacles. I can assure you, the walls of this castle will do little to keep them out.”

  Graydon sat up straight, furious. “The Guild is sworn to protect the crown. You cannot remove their protection.”

  “Exactly
, that’s as I was saying,” said Eithan. “The Guild must continue to protect the castle and the land of Rabia.”

  “I want Feteran,” said Graydon.

  “No,” said Eithan. “He’s under my protection.”

  Graydon shook his head. “I see what you’re up to, then. If I take Feteran, you’ll remove the protection of the Guild.”

  “You’ll never get to Feteran,” said Eithan. “If you attempt to do so, you’ll lose quite a number of your guards, but you’ll fail in the attempt. After attacking the Guild, you’ll be on bad terms with them, which will bode badly for you. Forget about Feteran. Let it go.”

  Graydon eyed him, fury all over the man.

  “As I said, Your Majesty, let’s be friends,” said Eithan.

  “Gods take you to the pit,” said Graydon.

  “Does that mean you agree?” Eithan smiled pleasantly. “You’ll leave off trying to get to Feteran?”

  “Fine, yes, he can go free,” said Graydon. “But I don’t want him to set foot in Castle Brinne ever again, is that clear?”

  “I suppose that’s acceptable,” said Eithan. “Thank you for being so reasonable, Your Highness.”

  “Get out of my sight, you monster,” said Graydon.

  Eithan bowed with a flourish before taking his leave.

  When they got back to the keep, he told the men that Absalom had sent along with them, their entourage, that they were dismissed, and then he eyed Nicce.

  “You,” he said, arching an eyebrow. “With me.”

  She gave him a small, knowing smile.

  He turned his back on her and walked up the steps to their room without waiting to see if she was keeping up.

  When they got to the room, she shut the door behind them and flattened herself against it. Her voice was breathy. “You know I like watching you work, Sir Eithan.”

  “Do you?” He raised an eyebrow.

  She brushed her hair away from her neck, an invitation.

  He went to her, tracing the veins there.

  “Have I told you lately that you’re everything?” she whispered.

  He shut his eyes. He felt… the opposite of broken. Maybe it wasn’t good to meddle in the succession of kings. Maybe he had no right to meddle. But he hadn’t felt so alive, so vital, in a very long time. And having her look at him like that, he couldn’t deny that it was good. He pressed his body into hers.