pang and power

by Saintcrowe, Val

  She gasped. “Are you going to bite me?”

  “Is that what you want?” His voice was dark and lilting.

  “Please,” she murmured.

  He sunk his teeth into her, and her blood tasted like life and light and everything in the world that was good.

  * * *

  “What do you mean I’m not to set foot in Castle Brinne again?” said Feteran. “Everything is ruined. How am I supposed to take the crown now?”

  Nicce was sitting in the corner of the room in the Guild where Feteran was being kept, watching him bluster. Eithan was leaning against the wall, next to her, looking relaxed and in his element. He was silent, letting Feteran rage.

  “This is unacceptable,” said Feteran. “Something must be done. Graydon must be assassinated. The Guild could take the castle, install me on the throne. I won’t stay here, and I won’t follow that cocky princeling’s orders. He’s not the king.”

  “Are you finished?” Eithan’s voice was unaffected.

  “Not remotely,” said Feteran, glaring at him.

  “You’re alive,” said Nicce. “You could thank us for that.”

  Feteran glowered at them both.

  “She’s right,” said Eithan.

  “Everything’s ruined,” said Feteran.

  “No,” said Nicce. “It’s not.” She turned to look at Eithan. “Shall I explain my idea?”

  Eithan spread his hands. “All right. But I can’t commit to it without having heard it.”

  She smiled. “You will. It takes care of everything rather tidily.” She turned to Feteran. “The stories about you have you rebelling against the gods for the benefit of humankind.”

  “Well, that’s bollocks,” said Feteran.

  “But if we convince the people that you are the Feteran from the stories, which you are, and that the stories are true, which they aren’t, when we free the Four Kingdoms of the gods, we’ll attribute the action to you, and that will endear you to the people, who will see you as their champion. Then, when you take the throne from Graydon, they will support you wholeheartedly.”

  Eithan came and sat down next to her. “All right, I like this in theory, but I feel like there are still a lot of holes in it. How do we convince the people that Feteran is a hero?”

  “I was thinking about that,” said Nicce, “and I remembered something that we tried with Ciaska. Well, we didn’t get to follow through with it entirely. We rehearsed, but we were never able to perform.”

  “A play?” said Eithan, smiling.

  “A play,” she said. “A play about Feteran, and how he has come back now that the gods are back in hiding, how he drove away Sullo and Aitho when they killed everyone in Castle Brinne.”

  “Oh, that’s good,” said Eithan.

  “And it will be performed in every village by a traveling troupe of players,” she said. “We start on that part right away while we are working on the rest of it.”

  “The rest of it,” said Eithan, leaning back. “Killing the gods.”

  “I don’t know how to kill the gods,” said Feteran. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this. I had a theory about crystals, that’s all.”

  “I’m not thinking about killing them, actually,” said Nicce.

  “What?” said Eithan, turning on her. “But you’ve always wanted to—”

  “I know,” she said. “But after I had the thought about the play, I was trying to decide what version of the story about Feteran we should tell, and I remembered what we were saying about the ice crystal bridge.”

  “The portal,” said Eithan.

  “You want to close the portals,” said Feteran, coming to sit down in a chair opposite them both.

  “I only know about the one in the dark forest,” said Nicce. “But I suppose there are others?”

  “There’s one in Kemulia,” said Feteran. “Sullo’s temple is built around it.”

  “I have heard about that temple,” said Nicce. She and Rhodes had almost traveled there.

  “No others?” said Eithan.

  “Not that I know of,” said Feteran.

  “But Aitho, he can open portals himself,” said Eithan.

  “Oh, yes,” said Feteran. “But I don’t think it’s the same thing.”

  “What is it, then?” said Nicce, who had completely forgotten about Aitho’s portals, like an idiot.

  “Mmm, I don’t want to say anything yet,” said Feteran. “Let me check into it a bit, just to make sure, all right? But I don’t think his power works the same as the others. Anyway, I think what you’re saying is that if the portals were closed, the gods would be trapped in their own realm.”

  “Yes,” said Nicce. “They don’t have to be dead, just cut off.”

  “Tear down the bridge,” said Eithan thoughtfully.

  “It might work,” said Feteran.

  “What about the nightmares?” said Eithan.

  “Right,” said Nicce. “Well, we won’t be able to herd them all through the portal necessarily, but no more will come, so we’ll only be left with the ones here. And we hunt and kill those, so eventually, we’ll be free of them entirely.”

  “We can herd some of them,” said Eithan. “Perhaps much of them. We must talked to Absalom about using the Guild for that.”

  “Of course,” said Nicce. “In the meantime, we get started on the play.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Xenia knocked on the door of Nicce’s room. She’d seen Eithan downstairs, talking with Philo, so she was fairly certain that Nicce would be here alone. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was seeking out Nicce to speak to her, because she and Nicce had never really gotten along. Even now, though she was grateful to the other woman, she wasn’t sure if she’d term her a friend exactly.

  At first, no one answered the door, and Xenia was almost relieved. Maybe there was no point in this conversation, and she wouldn’t mind being spared it.

  But then the door did open, and Nicce was there.

  “Oh,” said Nicce. “Hello.”

  “Hello,” said Xenia.

  “Is there something I can do for you?” said Nicce. She stepped away from the door. “Do you want to come in?”

  Xenia stepped inside.

  Nicce hesitated and then shut the door. “Is this about Pati?”

  “Sort of,” said Xenia. “I have made my peace with the fact that she’s choosing to be turned, and I understand that you’re going to give her sunlight blood, so that she can walk in the sun.”

  “Yes, I am,” said Nicce.

  “But I just… I wanted to…” Xenia was nervous. She clasped her hands together and then unclasped them. “Perhaps I should start over.”

  “All right,” said Nicce.

  Xenia drew in a breath. “I’ll ask you a question, if you don’t mind.”

  “All right,” Nicce said again.

  “When all of the Court of Nightmares went through the portal, you gave them your sunlight blood. Did you ever worry about doing that?”

  “Why would I worry? They would have died in the sun otherwise. I was saving them.”

  “Yes, but should they have been saved?” said Xenia. “Many of them had lived far longer than the span of a normal human life, and you gave them the capability to live even longer, with less danger.”

  “Well, had they truly lived? Was being in the court really being alive?” said Nicce.

  “Perhaps not,” said Xenia. “But now they are scattered all over the Four Kingdoms, living out lives, lives without end. And I can’t help but think that…”

  “That what?” Nicce furrowed her brow.

  “That it’s unnatural,” said Xenia. “That it can’t last. That it’s only a matter of time before something disastrous happens.”

  Nicce was quiet.

  “I don’t know if I want to live forever,” said Xenia.

  “Do you want to die?” said Nicce.

  “No, of course not, but… well, don’t you think it changes things, twists peopl
e? Have you ever wondered if Ciaska was always the way she was, or if she went slowly mad over her centuries-long life?”

  Nicce swallowed.

  “You have,” said Xenia.

  “I don’t see why you’re telling me this,” said Nicce.

  “It’s only…” Xenia squared her shoulders. “I think it through, and I think of so many problems. I was aching over the thought of watching my daughter age, but her becoming ageless doesn’t solve the problem. It only puts it off to the next generation, you see? What if all the members of the court come to Eithan and they want him to turn their daughters and sons? And what about their children’s children and their children’s children’s children? We could have a continent of ageless monsters in no time, don’t you think?”

  Nicce blinked, and there was a look of horror on her face. “I… I hadn’t thought of that. Even without the gods, even if I get rid of them, the things they have done to this place have altered it so that we are never free of them.” She wrung out her hands. “What about the crystals and the jewels for instance? Those will remain in their absence. It’s too much. It really never will be over. There will always be something.”

  “I thought you might understand,” said Xenia. “When we spoke earlier, you seemed to think of the affect your actions had on everyone in the Four Kingdoms, and so I thought it might matter to you. I didn’t know if it would matter to Eithan. Perhaps you can speak to him.”

  “You don’t want him to change Pati?”

  “No, I do. I am selfish that way,” said Xenia, her face crumpling. She was quiet for a moment. “But there must be some sort of restraint exercised at some point. He can’t change everyone who asks for it.”

  Nicce nodded. “If only there were some way to reset it all, to let everyone have one regular human lifespan, to let them all grow old and die.”

  “That would solve the problem,” said Xenia.

  Nicce sighed. “But how could that be done?” She got a faraway look in her eyes, and she didn’t seem to be paying attention to Xenia, but lost in her own thoughts.

  “So, will you?”

  “Hmm?” Nicce turned to her.

  “Will you speak to Eithan?”

  “Of course,” said Nicce. “Yes, I’ll tell him your concerns.”

  “Thank you,” said Xenia.

  Nicce gave her a smile. “I’ll do my best to fix this as soon as I can. I have to concentrate on the gods first, but once that’s done, I’ll focus entirely on this.”

  “I don’t know if this is fixable,” said Xenia, cocking her head to one side. “Some things are just the way they are.”

  Nicce considered. “No, I don’t know if I believe that. There must be a way. I only have to find it.”

  * * *

  Nicce opened the door in the fortress in the dark forest and peered down the steps. They had decided to change Pati here because the keep was too crowded, and everything was in uproar after the death of King Timon besides. It would be better someplace where there was privacy, and the fortress in the dark forest was the traditional place, so it seemed right somehow.

  Nicce was there to give Pati her sunlight blood once the change was complete, so that she would be able to walk in the sun. Lian was going to be there too.

  Right then, Nicce and Eithan were simply waiting for the two of them to arrive. That was why Nicce had opened the door to look down the steps. She thought she’d heard something.

  Yes, there it was. A knock.

  She was amused. Why were they knocking? She went down the steps and opened the door for them anyway. Lian was standing in front of Pati, a very serious expression on his face. Pati was behind him, practically bouncing on her feet.

  “You could have just opened the door and walked in,” said Nicce. “No one lives here anymore.”

  “We know,” said Pati, pushing past Lian.

  “We, um, come here sometimes,” said Lian, crossing the threshold and closing the door behind him. Ah, well, it was probably a tailor-made lovers’ getaway for two people who were keeping their relationship a secret, especially when the only excuse that they had to be together was to be killing nightmares in the dark forest. “I don’t know why I knocked. Everything about this is strange.”

  Pati was already climbing the steps. “The room at the top? Is that where we’re going to do it?”

  “Yes,” said Nicce, falling in behind her.

  “Why?” said Lian from below.

  Nicce glanced over her shoulder.

  He wasn’t following them, but standing still at the bottom of the steps. “Isn’t Eithan going to drain all her blood? What are we going to do with that, carry buckets of it down the steps? Certainly the first floor makes more sense.”

  But Pati was already mostly up the stairwell.

  Nicce stopped and turned to Lian. “I guess it’s sort of tradition.”

  Pati disappeared through the doorway at the the top of the steps.

  “She’s not his bride,” said Lian in a low voice.

  “No, of course not,” said Nicce. “They only called them brides. You know that Eithan never…” She didn’t even know how to finish the sentence.

  Lian took a deep breath and shoved his hands into his pockets. Then he began trudging up the steps with his head down.

  Nicce furrowed her brow. She waited for him to meet her on the steps. “Don’t you want her to do this?”

  He looked up at Nicce. “It’s not really up to me, is it?”

  “You don’t want it.” Nicce murmured.

  Lian sighed. “I don’t care if she wants to do it or not, I guess, but it just… is it dangerous? Are we even sure it works? Eithan hasn’t changed anyone since Ciaska died, and what if it all goes wrong?”

  “It won’t,” said Nicce. “Ciaska had nothing to do with it, other than the fact that she changed Eithan in the first place. It’ll be fine.”

  Lian took another deep breath. He started to trudge up the steps again. He spoke as he moved. “What if she regrets it? What if thinks don’t work out with us, and she gets angry and leaves me and then she resents me for the rest of her very long life, because there’s no one else for her to be with? She’s doing this for me, but I never asked her to.”

  “I think she’s doing it for herself,” said Nicce, who hadn’t fully come to terms with her own agelessness yet. In so many ways, she still felt the same age as she looked, eighteen, and yet here was Lian, all grown up. He’d been a little boy, and he wasn’t anymore, but she still felt older than him. It was very strange. “Did you say these things to her?”

  “I did,” said Lian. “She doesn’t care. She still wants to do it.”

  “Well, as long as you’ve talked about it,” said Nicce. She might be older, but she had no wise advice to impart about arguments within a relationship.

  Lian sighed again. He picked up the pace and went up the rest of the stairs quickly.

  Nicce brought up the rear.

  When she emerged into the room at the top of the stairs, she couldn’t help but remember the first time she’d been brought here, the first time she’d seen Eithan. She half-expected to see the tables groaning under the weight of all that food, her intended last meal. Of course, the tables were empty and Eithan and Pati were sitting on two of the chairs, talking together.

  Nicce and Eithan had talked about draining Pati’s blood and whether Eithan should offer to drink her blood, which meant the process could go more quickly. Between the two of them, blood drinking was an intimate sort of thing, but Eithan said it had never been like that before with anyone else. She remembered him telling her that over and over again back when he’d come after her, when he’d found her with Zed. So, she’d told him that he could offer Pati the option if he felt comfortable doing it.

  Lian had stopped several feet into the room, and he was staring at the two of them.

  Nicce came up to him and put her hand on his arm.

  He looked down at her. He looked afraid, and she could see the little boy that he
used to be, hiding behind his grown-up face.

  She squeezed his arm.

  He tensed.

  Eithan stood up. “Pati says she wants me to drink her blood. It should speed the process up a good deal.”

  Lian swallowed.

  Eithan beckoned. “Lian, come here. You’ll want to hold onto her. She might struggle at some point. People get frightened, and their bodies react unpredictably.”

  “Restrain her?” Lian’s voice was ice.

  Eithan blinked, confused.

  Pati rolled her eyes, getting up. “I don’t need him to do anything.”

  Eithan raised his eyebrows. “This is…?” He turned to look at Nicce. “Should we give them a moment alone?”

  “We talked about it already,” snapped Pati. “I’m sick of talking. It’s my choice, that’s what you said, anyway, Lian, so stop being an ass about it.”

  Lian’s nostrils flared. “I’m an ass because I’m worried about you?”

  Pati flung her arm out, her wrist under Eithan’s nose. “Do it.”

  Eithan cleared his throat. His hand came up to take Pati’s wrist, but he was gazing at Lian.

  “Don’t look at him,” said Pati.

  Lian scuffed his foot against the floor, hesitating. Then he came forward, his movements jerky, and he moved behind Pati, sliding his hand over her stomach, tugging her body against his.

  She sucked in an audible breath, closing her eyes.

  Lian nodded at Eithan.

  Eithan bared his fangs. He bit her.

  Pati flinched.

  Lian rested his chin on her shoulder, whispering something to her that Nicce couldn’t make out. Pati relaxed against him.

  It was quick.

  Nicce remembered when Eithan had drunk her blood the first time. It hadn’t seemed this quick to her, but she’d also been pulled out into a strange reverie almost immediately, like she’d been transported into a dark, calm, other world. She remembered floating there and watching the stars go out, Eithan’s body against hers, his arms around her. Maybe it had been quick then too.