Bound Together

by Marie Coulson

  I was playing games and I knew it. As Henry sweetly, gently and caringly kissed me, my eyes fixed onto Jared. His hand slid down Alicia’s back and gripping her ass in his palm he pressed his cheek against hers whispering something in her ear. She grinned at him and bit her lip before sealing her mouth over his. Her eyes closed, she kissed him and he reciprocated. My rage was reaching boiling point. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them. It was like watching a car crash. It’s horrific and ugly yet you can’t help but stare at the damage. There we were, two ex-lovers kissing someone else and completely unable to tear our eyes away from each other. It was so twisted it was almost sickening. Her hand slid into his shirt and I saw a glimmer of something sparkling in her fingers. Thumbing the shiny black pendant in her hand she grinned at him. My pendant. Our pendant. He let her touch it. My stomach lurched and I instantly pulled away from Henry breathless, tearful and completely devastated. I knew I had no right, it was his pendant and she had every right to touch it all she wanted but that was more than just a piece of jewelry, it meant something to me. It was my heart, his heart, our time together. All the horrifically bad and the heart stopping good too.

  I stared at him in horror for a moment before coming to my senses and storming past them leaving poor Henry dazed and confused. I made a dash for the exit, desperate for some air after the oxygen in my lungs had just been ripped right out of me. Anger, grief and pure unbridled fury surged through my body as I pushed my way through the crowded bar to the exit. Stumbling out into the cool evening air I panted and gasped for breath. How could he let her man handle something so important to him? Well, what I thought was important to him. My insides were churning and the alcohol was going to my head. Leaning my back against the wall, I slammed my palms against it. He still had the innate ability to totally disarm me and tip my world on its head. I hated him for it. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath.

  “Are you ok?”

  My eyes flew open to find Henry standing in front of me. With a furrowed brow I shook my head.

  “I’m sorry Henry. What I did in there, was wrong. I saw my, well someone I used to be with and I wanted to make him jealous. I used you and I’m really sorry.”

  He shrugged. “We’ve all been there. He shook you pretty bad then if you had to come out here.”

  “He’s with a woman. I couldn’t watch anymore.”

  Taking my hand he smiled. “Well, if you stay out here he wins. I say you get back in there, have a stiff drink and shake your ass like it’s on fire. No man in there could take their eyes off you when you danced and I’m pretty sure your ex was probably one of them.”

  I gave him a grateful smile and followed him back in. Layla Jennings, the strong independent woman was not going to let him win this time. Spotting me by the bar, Amy and Mel rushed over. “I cannot believe that dick chin is here! Did he speak to you? Did he upset you? I swear I will kill him.”

  Mel was beyond angry, she was practically foaming at the mouth.

  “It’s ok, I’m fine. He’s just trying to screw with me. Did you see who he’s with?” Fisting her hands, Amy glared up at the balcony.

  “Don’t even get me started on that bitch. If she comes within ten feet of you I’m going to rip her fake, tacky extensions off of her skull.”

  I chuckled and shrugged at them. “Who cares? They’re welcome to each other. She’s a bitch and he’s a dog. They go together well if you ask me.”

  Amy growled “Has he no respect or care for your feelings at all? He should have left the moment he knew you were here. Especially if he’s dragging that ‘ho’ around with him.”

  “Well he didn’t care when he was feeling her up and making out on the dance floor. Whatever. It’s none of my business, I turned my back on him remember?”

  I gave Henry an awkward smile. “Come on, forget about him, tonight is about fun and Jared Garrett is not going to spoil it for me.” Grabbing Henry’s hand, I pulled him to a table where his friends had a round of drinks and shots waiting.

  Picking up a shot glass full of something that smelled very strong and bitterly pungent, I was just about to take a seat when my cell buzzed. Glowering at it I read the message.

  Are you determined to hit that fucking self-destruct button? I thought you had more respect for yourself than that. You look ridiculous and you are not fooling anyone. Last chance Layla. Put the drink down!

  Received: 23.28

  From: Jared

  That’s it. Enough is enough. Standing up I held the shot glass in my hand, faced the balcony and meeting his icy glare, raised my glass to him and downed it before slamming it onto the table. His eyes fixed on me, I took another glass from the table and again raised it to him. He shook his head in warning but I was having none of it. Tossing it back, the bitter liquid burned my throat and I had to struggle to hold my composure, pressing the back of my hand to my mouth. Pounding his fist on the rail he turned away and I grinned to myself with satisfied triumph. He’d played, he’d lost and I had proved my point. Sitting myself at the table I smiled at Amy and Mel who applauded loudly at my winning performance. My cell buzzed on the table and with a smug smirk on my face I scrolled down to read his message. This ought to be good.

  I warned you. You brought this on yourself.

  Received: 23.35

  From: Jared

  I stared at it then frantically scanned the area but I couldn’t spot him anywhere. What the hell was he planning to do? I got my answer. A loud, ear splitting ringing sounded throughout the entire building and one by one the sprinklers began to shower everyone with cold water. He didn’t!? Grabbing my purse I followed as Amy and Mel darted for the exit, covering their heads with their jackets. I had neglected to wear one so I found myself getting predictably wetter and colder by the second. Entering the crowd of party goers outside, I tried to find my friends but in the struggle to get out we’d gotten separated.

  I was just about to call them from my cell when I found myself lifted from the ground and thrown carelessly over the shoulder of a tall man. Initially horrified I kicked and screamed till I caught a glimpse of myself in a passing window. “Jared! Put me down. Put me down right now or I swear I’ll scream so loud they’ll hear me across the state!” He ignored me and continued to walk down the street. Kicking even harder and pounding my fists on his back I growled, screamed and roared at him. “You are such a cock! Did you seriously just pull a fire alarm? Put me down!”

  We turned the corner and he set me onto my feet. Slamming my palm against his cheek I slapped him, hard. “Who the fuck do you think you are!?” I raised my hand to strike him again but he caught my wrist tightly in his hand.

  “Don’t do that ever again. Understand?” His tone was clipped and serious.

  “Don’t do what Jared? Hit you?”

  Still gripping my wrist he pulled me towards him so that my face was so close to his I could smell the liquor on his breath. “You know what you did. Can’t imagine your boyfriend would be happy about what I just saw either.”

  “I don’t have one! I can do whatever I want. You don’t get to tell me what to do or who to do it will anymore. You gave up that right!”

  “I never gave it up and I never will! See this?” He pulled his pendant from his shirt and clasped it in his free hand. “This still means something to me and I will never stop caring about you! You were fucking embarrassing yourself in there and you were not kidding anyone but yourself. You’re drunk out of your fucking skull, grinding up against some stranger and then making out with him in some bar. It’s pathetic. It’s a desperate cry for help just like your hair, over the top make up and this fucking dress. I swear when I saw it I could have spanked the shit out of you. You look ridiculous! This isn’t you. What the hell happened to that fiery, sarcastic, take no prisoners woman I fell for in the coffee shop?”

  Twisting my wrist from his vice like grip, I glared at him. “She got torn apart by the man she thought loved, trusted and respected her! That’s what happened. And you want to ta
lk about humiliation? You are the only thing I was embarrassed about in there! Feeling up the woman who scratched my face, split my lip and got me arrested. That was by far the greatest moment of my year so far! Congratulations Jared you’ve hit rock bottom and are officially scraping the bottom of the barrel if you’re screwing her. Which by the way brings me to my next point, if this,” I swatted at his pendant which was hanging from his hand, “if it meant so much to you then why the fuck would you let her put her disgusting, dirty, whore hands all over it? You may let her touch you, stick her tongue in your ear, mouth and god knows where else but don’t try and tell me you care when you had the nerve to stand there while I watched her manhandle the one thing I thought was precious to you! She was right about you and I should have listened. Chew them up and spit them out right Jared? Now I’m just another notch on your bed post. Now serving number sixty one.”

  I could hear Amy and Mel yelling my name and I turned to walk away but grabbing my waist he halted my feet. “Urgh! Let me go!”

  “What’s the matter Layla? Jealous?”

  Glaring at him I smiled sarcastically. “You’re right Jared. When I saw her hands all over you, her tongue in your ear and rammed down your throat I did feel something.”

  Raising an eyebrow he gave me a satisfied smirk.

  “I felt nauseous.” My comment wiped the smirk from his lips and his icy glare returned as his hold on my waist strengthened making my attempts to escape him by fighting back completely futile. “I did not willingly let her do anything Layla! I was so busy watching you sticking your tongue down some guys throat I never even noticed her take out my pendant. The moment I did, I gave her her marching orders. And I am going to make one thing very clear right now. You were not, are not and never will be a notch on my bed post. I loved you, I still do and I will not just stand there while you destroy yourself. You have no idea who that guy is. He could be a rapist or murderer for Christ sakes. Stop acting like a child and grow up! You think I wanted to be with her? I didn’t bring her here she came by herself and happened to see me at the bar. I only decided to allow her my company after you decided to let him touch you, dance with you and stick his tongue in your mouth!” Standing in front of him I got in his face.

  “I will kiss, touch and sleep with anyone I like. You don’t own me Jared, I will do whatever I want. Understand?”

  Leaning close, I felt his warm breath on my lips. “No, you are mine. And I will protect what’s mine with every breath in my body and every beat of my heart. Go home, sleep it off and get your shit together Layla because you’re falling apart and I can’t stand watching you do it. It’s like you want to get yourself hurt, punish yourself and I won’t let you do it.” Holding my hands over my face I growled with frustration. “Jared I’m not yours anymore. We’re over, done! Our relationship has ceased to be. Just, for the love of god, let me go. Every time I think I’m moving on, getting over you, you claw your way back into my life and I can’t deal with it. I’m still getting over the last time you tore my heart to shreds and I can’t grieve for two failed relationships anymore.”

  He gave me a puzzled look. “Ollie left. He’s in Utah.” I stared at my feet as Ollie rolled off my tongue and into my thoughts. Placing his hand under my chin, Jared lifted my head to look at him.

  “I’m sorry.”

  I snorted a laugh and yanked my face away from him. “No you’re not.”

  His lip curled up slightly. “You’re right, I’m not. I’m glad he’s gone because I will never be done with you Layla and we will never be over. I love you. And even though, you hate to admit it, you still love me too. That’s why you and Oliver could never have made it work, you’re heart still belongs to me and you know it.” I swallowed hard. “No Jared. Ollie and I couldn’t make it work because my heart is still recovering from the trauma you caused. I’m still healing my battle scars. I’m going to ask you one last time and then I’m going to scream. Let. Me. Go. And leave me alone. For good.”

  He took a step back all the while gazing at me with his hypnotic piercing blue eyes. Without a word he turned and walked away down the side walk. I could feel my heart thundering in my chest as I made my way back towards the bar.

  “Layla! Oh my god we were worried sick. Where were you?” Wrapping her arms around me, Mel held me tightly and feeling a little fragile from my encounter with Jared, I squeezed her back just as hard. “I’m fine. I just got separated that’s all. I don’t feel much like partying anymore, could we just go home? I’m really tired and I’m all damp.”

  Brushing my wet frizzy hair from my face, Amy tilted her head at me. “Are you ok?”

  I thought of telling them about Jared, about our fight and about what happened in the bar but I didn’t want to relive it all. “I’m fine. Just had too much to drink I think.”

  Chuckling, Mel nodded. “Yeah, I’ll say. You hit a home run tonight though girl and I’m proud of you. He tried to knock you off your game and you bounced right back. Way to go.”

  I smiled at her, knowing deep down that my victory had been bittersweet at best. Hailing a cab, we climbed in and with her head on Mel’s shoulder Amy fell into an alcohol induced sleep.

  I sat watching her for a while thinking how tough she must have been finding it that night. She was in love and all night Mel had been throwing herself at some guy. My heart ached for my poor friend and her wasted feelings for my best friend. It was going to be a long road to recovery but we had each other and that was all that really mattered. I would do whatever I could to mend Amy’s broken heart and as for my own, I’d taken the first step that night and now all I had to do was keep walking.

  Chapter 45

  Moving On

  Laying on my front, my bikini top cast aside, I basked in the warm sunshine. Sunglasses on and sun lotion applied, the girls were having a day at the beach. The end of the college year was only two weeks away and we were taking every opportunity to relax, unwind and hang out together. I hadn’t had any contact with Jared at all since the bar and I was relieved beyond belief when I heard from Kate that he was back in New York again for a while. Having him absent from Long Beach meant I wouldn’t run the risk of bumping into him again anytime soon. I did wonder if maybe my warning to stay away had finally sunk in. Either way, I finally felt that without him constantly appearing in my life, I was moving on. I was top of my class and every day I spent with my girls having fun. Nick and Eric were still regulars at the bar and sometimes Amy and Mel would go down there, but since Ollie had left, I couldn’t face it. I’d tried, but looking at his empty seat at our booth and the empty stage where he should be playing, was a painful reminder of the broken relationship that slipped through my fingers.

  Removing her earphones, Amy smiled at me. That smile usually only meant one thing; Amy wanted something. Remaining in my relaxed position, I questioned her. “What do you want this time Amy?”

  “Well, I was just thinking.”

  Mel snorted beside her. “That’s dangerous.”

  Amy screwed up her towel and hurled it at her.

  “I was thinking. With the end of the year only two weeks away, we should totally throw a party!”

  I groaned at the idea. “A party? Really? Haven’t we partied enough these past few weeks? I don’t think my liver could take any more.”

  “You can never party enough Layla. Besides I spoke to Eric and Nick and they are totally up for playing at Benny’s. We can do vocals.”

  My heart plummeted as I thought about Ollie’s absence in that line up. It had been almost five weeks since he’d left and he was still avoiding me. I’d sent countless emails, I’d sent letters and I’d called so much, my cell phone bill was sky high. But he kept dodging me. I knew I hurt him but I at least wanted us to stay friends and it’s what I thought he’d wanted too. Clearly, we weren’t on the same page and had slightly different ideas of what being friends entailed; conversation or acknowledgment being the key aspects. “I don’t know Amy, it just doesn’t feel right.” She ti
lted her head at me and gave me a sympathetic look. I hated that look and the pity it always portrayed.

  “You mean it won’t be right because Ollie isn’t going to be there. Layla he so would not want you to keep pining over him. I don’t know why you still are. It’s not like you were in love with him.” I sighed. “I still cared! I can’t just forget him Amy. He’s my friend and I hate that we’re not even speaking anymore. It’s killing me. I’m not in the partying mood.”

  Grabbing my bikini top I slipped it on, grabbed my things and stood up. “Layla don’t be so over dramatic. I think it’s a great idea and it’s about time you got it into your head that Ollie is gone. He’s gone, he’s obviously decided you two can’t be just friends and has moved on. Maybe you should do the same.”

  Mel had always been a very straight shooter but I really needed her on my side this time.

  “Mel, I can’t just move on. I hate myself for what I did to him. I led him on, went out with him, cheated on him and then broke his heart. How do you get over that? I can’t and I won’t. I deserve to be unhappy for the rest of my life for what I did and I am not going to a party that celebrates the most horrible year of my entire life. Ok?”

  She shook her head at me and it was the last straw.

  “You wouldn’t understand. I’m going home.”

  Amy tried to get me to stop but I just kept walking. I wanted to be alone and lately I had very little tolerance for Mel and her suck it up and move on attitude. I did feel something for Ollie and though it may not have been the deep and consuming love I had for Jared, it was still real and I couldn’t just forget it. I slipped my cell from my pocket and scrolled down looking for his number. Hitting call I held on and on praying he might pick up. But again, I was left hanging.