Bound Together

by Marie Coulson

  Turning the corner to the campus parking lot, I stopped as I spotted a very familiar face striding towards me. Continuing on my way, I breezed past him but his hand caught my arm.

  “Now, now Layla, is that really necessary?”

  Gripping his hand, I shoved it away from me. “With you Felix, I’d say it was polite. I’d rather swallow razor blades than talk to you.”

  “Ooh, ouch.”

  “What do you want Felix? Amy isn’t here and after that very eye opening dinner, I don’t think you’re high up on her list of would be suitors anymore.”

  He grinned and it made my skin crawl. “Actually, I’m here to see you. I wondered if you could give a little message to your ex for me.”

  I glared at him. “I have no intention of speaking to him ever again so whatever it is you want him to know, you’ll have to tell him your damn self. I’m out of it.”

  He squared up to me and a shiver ran down my spine. He made me feel uncomfortable and sick in a way I couldn’t explain. His general presence made me feel in danger and yet I wasn’t afraid of him.

  “Well, I’ll have to think of something that will give him a message that will sink in.”

  Raising his hand he traced the back of his fingertips over my face. “Nobody fucks with my business or my women. Take care Layla. It was good to see you.” I watched him walk away and once he was safely around the corner, I let out the breath I was holding and bolted for the dorm.

  My heart raced and my pulse was rapid as I slammed my door closed. Grabbing my cell from my pocket, I scrolled for Jared’s number and hit dial. “Come on, come on, pick up.”

  It went to voice mail. Dropping it on the bed, I pulled out my laptop and frantically searched for any recent news regarding the creep I’d just had an encounter with in the parking lot. Scanning through the results I found something that made my blood run cold as I read it.

  “James Felix is said to be furious that his long term friend and business associate Jared Garrett is not only withdrawing funding in his restaurant chain but is now dating Felix’s ex-wife Alicia Paige. The two were snapped at the popular new bar Delicia a few weeks ago and have been seen in each other’s company at many social occasions since. A source close to the couple has confirmed the rumors and said that they have spent very little time apart. Miss Paige refused to comment when she was spotted leaving the Garrett property only yesterday and as ever, Mr. Garrett is keeping a quiet and dignified silence over the matter.”

  I sat there just staring at the screen in horror. No wonder Felix hated Jared. It all made sense. Jared had been sleeping with her a long time before I came along and his comments at the police station to her made sense now too. But it couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t. His words from that night at Delicia swirled in my head. I’d pushed him away and straight into her waiting arms. Tears began to pool in my eyes as the realization that we truly were finished, that he’d moved on and that he didn’t care anymore, hit me like a ton of bricks. Swiping at my eyes, I slammed the laptop shut. I wouldn’t do this to myself anymore. Enough was enough. I’d shed enough tears to last me a lifetime and my heart was entitled to a break. My cell rang and seeing the name on the screen I answered immediately.

  “Layla, you called? Something I can do for you?” Jared’s voice purred at me down the phone but I was wild with anger, jealousy and hurt.

  “Actually Jared, yes there is something you can do for me. You can drop dead asswipe. I hope you and your new pastime Alicia are very happy together.” I hung up before he could protest. I wasn’t interested in his reasons. He’d broken my heart for the last time and the way I was feeling bordered on hatred.

  Kneeling on the floor, I pulled out the box of mementos from our time together and piled them into a bag. The jewelry was the first to go. Driving to the mall I smiled to myself. I wasn’t willing to take money for the gifts and I certainly didn’t want them anymore. I walked into the store and placed the boxes on the counter.

  “Good afternoon madam. What can I do for you?”

  The assistant was young, sweet faced and far too cheery for the mood I was in. “I’d like to return these items please. I no longer need, want or care about them.”

  She stared at me as I opened each box. “But, this is a black star sapphire.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I know what it is and I don’t want it. Scratch off the inscription, melt it down and give it all to charity. I don’t care just please get rid of it.”

  She gave me a sympathetic and knowing look. “He must have really hurt you if you can’t even keep items as stunning as these.”

  I nodded. “They don’t mean anything to me. They were an ideal, a perfect picture that never existed.”

  Taking the boxes, she placed them under the desk. They were gone. All that was left was to dispose of the rest of the box’s contents.

  I drove around for an hour not knowing where to go or what to do with the remaining items; designer dresses, the laptop and the mug he had left silently in my room that night of our fight. My heart gave a thud as I thought about it, but I ignored it, reminding myself that it meant nothing. He simply didn’t like to lose and it was a game tactic. I pulled up to the enormous black iron gates and typed in the security code before driving down the long driveway to the house. I hadn’t been back to his house since we had spent the night together and the memory was nauseating. I parked and quickly hauled the box from the back seat. I had every intention of just dumping it on his doorstep and leaving but as I placed it on the porch I was spotted by a heavily pregnant Lucy through the glass doors. Turning on my heel, I headed for the car but she yelled after me, waddling down the path to catch up. I felt bad for her and decided I could at least hear what she had to say. “What do you want Lucy?” She huffed and puffed for breath in front of me and it made me feel slightly bad for her. “Jared said you called him. You don’t know the whole story. He’s not doing this to hurt you Layla. Felix is really bad news. He’s just trying to even out the playing field. I know how bad it must look but you have to believe me that he isn’t dating Alicia.”

  I snorted. “Oh really? So it wasn’t her I saw him dry humping at Delicia? And all those pictures of them together at these so called social events are total fiction right?”

  She stared at me speechless.

  “That’s what I thought. You know what Lucy, Jared Garrett isn’t my problem anymore. He can screw whoever he wants because it sure as hell won’t ever be me again. I am so done with your brother. Can you make sure he gets his box of lies, cheap sentiment and painful reminders of his betrayals back please? Thanks.”

  Opening my car door I glanced back her as she made her way back to the house. I’d done it. It was finally over. I was supposed to feel liberated, free and weightless but that feeling never came. All I had was an empty hole where I’d held him so tightly for an entire year and I feared I would never fill it again.

  The moment I got back, Amy sprung on me. “I’m really sorry Layla, I wasn’t thinking. If you don’t want to go party we’ll stay here just us girls and have fun. It’s no big deal.”

  I smiled at her and shook my head. “No. You were right, we should celebrate. I spent a whole year nursing a broken heart and I’m done with it. I want to go out, get hammered and dance my ass off. Let’s do it next week. What do you say?”

  Draping her arm around me, she pecked me on the cheek. “I say hell yes!” Giving her a hug I sighed. “Hey Amy, how’s things going with you? I mean since you told me about Mel I know you haven’t really talked much about it.”

  Pulling away from me she sat on the edge of her bed and shrugged. “Nothing to say. She likes guys and I’m hopelessly in love with her. What can I do? I can’t tell her. It’s too risky. I have to just get over it.” I gave her a half smile. I knew only too well how much it hurts to love someone who simply can’t give you what you need.

  “And how’s that working out for you so far?”

  “Awful. I can’t get her off my mind and whenev
er I’m around her I hate the way I feel. I feel like I’m not being me, not really. She knows I’m hiding something. She keeps asking me why I’m so quiet lately and when I refused to go out with one of the guys at Delicia she said I was acting weird. I had to tell her he just wasn’t my type and I guess that’s kind of true. He’s not. I want her and I hate it. I’m so confused. I like guys and I like sleeping with them but I love her. How could I not know I was bisexual all this time?” Taking a seat next to her, I draped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her to me. Her head rested against my shoulder as I stroked her hair. She was going through such a tough time. Not only was she questioning her sexuality but she was also in love with my best friend who was certainly into men.

  “Sometimes it takes finding that one special person I guess. You can’t help who you fall in love with and for you it’s Mel. There is nothing wrong or unnatural about how you feel Amy. Lots of people these days discover they’re bisexual or gay in college. Don’t hate yourself ok? You’re in love and it’s an amazing feeling. Always be glad you have felt it, even if it is unreturned.”

  Hearing my own words, I couldn’t help but think of my time with Jared and Ollie. I loved Jared and although he’d hurt me time and time again, at least I knew I was capable of love and that I had experienced being loved in return. Well, I thought he loved me. Ollie had given me so much and I had given him very little in return, yet he thanked me for letting him know he could feel love and what it felt like to love someone. I missed him. Giving Amy a peck on the cheek, I told her I needed to run to the store but truthfully, I just needed some time to myself. I headed for the car and shut myself inside, reaching for my cell phone. I scrolled to Ollie’s number and as it rang I held my breath hoping and praying he would answer. But he didn’t. Listening to his voice on his voice mail made my insides twist and a chill ran through my veins. Surely he couldn’t punish me like this forever? I needed him to come back to me. Soon.

  * * *

  Amy’s meticulous planning had paid off enormously and as Benny’s began to fill to the point of bursting, I was pleased that her efforts were being appreciated. The senior class was so hyped up about graduating, they had been buying everyone drinks all night and as hostess, Amy was never without one in her hand. Handing me a pink cosmopolitan, she grinned. “What are you so happy about?”

  She shook her head and it made me suspicious. ”Nothing. Just having a great time. I have a delicious drink, great friends and a party that people will be talking about all year. What’s not to like.”

  I gave her a half smile and she instantly knew where my mind was at. “You’re thinking about Ollie aren’t you? You know for someone who claims not to have been in love with him you sure are pining like a love sick puppy.”

  Staring at my drink, I sighed heavily. “I miss him Amy. He won’t even acknowledge my existence. I thought we could still be friends but he’s totally cut me off and out of his life. I just want to see him, touch him and be around him again.”

  Placing her hand on my arm reassuringly, she smiled. “He’ll come around, you’ll see.”

  I wanted to believe her blind optimism but I couldn’t. It had been seven weeks and if he hadn’t talked to me by now, I imagined he never would.

  Sliding into our booth, we joined Mel, Nick and Eric who were busy arguing over the set list for the party.

  “I am telling you that no one wants to listen to your grunge shit Eric. I thought we already agreed on modern and classic rock? You know, Bon Jovi, Greenday that kind of stuff.”

  He rolled his eyes at her. “I told you, Ollie always sang that shit. I can’t hit the notes he can and the songs wouldn’t sound right if you guys sang them. We’ll have to come up with something else.”

  I groaned loudly in frustration. “Ok shut up, both of you. Eric you can sing a lot of classic rock absolutely fine so stop bullshitting us. Mel, pick some chick rock and we’ll do that. We’ll mix it up and then towards the end we’ll slow it down, ok?” Giving each other the evil eye they nodded in agreement. It was like refereeing children some times. Nick whispered something into Amy’s ear and she visibly stiffened. Giving her a nudge, I mouthed “What was that about?”

  She shook her head and nodded in the direction of the bathroom.

  Sliding out of the booth, we made our excuses and I had to practically run to keep up with her as she stormed to the toilets. Slamming the door closed, she ran her fingers through her hair repeatedly. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t, I honestly just cannot do this.”

  Grabbing her hands, I forced her to face me. “Can’t what? Amy, calm down and talk to me. What’s wrong?”

  Tears were in her eyes and I knew. “Mel and Eric are banging each other aren’t they?” She nodded as the warm droplets fell from her eyes and over her flushed cheeks. “Nick says they went out a couple of times and last night they spent the night together at Eric’s place.”

  Wrapping my arms around her, I held her tightly as she sobbed. “It hurts so fucking much and it shouldn’t. She’s not mine, never has been and never will be but watching them together, knowing what I do now, makes my stomach churn and my heart ache. I don’t think I can be around her anymore. Not until I can get over this thing I have for her.”

  Taking some tissue from the stall, I wiped her face, trying to clear up her smeared make up. “Amy I can’t possibly try to begin to understand what you’re going through with your sexuality but I do know how much it hurts when the person you love is with someone else. I found out last week Jared and Alicia are a couple now.”

  She gawked at me. “I saw Felix on campus. He asked me to give a message to Jared and I told him that we weren’t together anymore so he could deliver the message himself. He gives me the creeps. Anyway I was curious as to why they hated each other so much and I found out why Felix hates Jared at least. Alicia is Felix’s ex-wife. According to the article I read, she and Felix divorced after Jared had been sleeping with her. The time frames are so close they had to have been having an affair. Now the two of them have been photographed at bars, social events and one reporter even saw her at his house.”

  She stared at me with her jaw almost to the floor. “Alicia is Felix’s ex-wife? Oh my god. No wonder he hates him. I mean ok, he’s a little hypocritical because he screwed his best friend’s girlfriend but still, she was his wife. Are they really a couple now? I know they were at Delicia but I thought that was just a date. That sucks ass. Are you ok?”

  I shrugged and continued to clean her face. “I’m done with it all Amy. I can’t keep killing myself over him. He’s single and free to be with whoever he wants and now that I have rid myself of all that stuff he gave me, maybe now I can move on too. Why should he be able to get over me so easily and I carry on aching over the loss? I won’t do it to myself anymore. Jared who? That’s what I say.”

  She smiled at me but I knew she wasn’t buying it. Truthfully, neither was I. It hurt, deeply and as much as I hated him, I loved him in equal measure. Tossing the tissue in the trash I smiled at her, trying to seem unfazed by our conversation. “There, all better. You ready to go out there?”

  She nodded and hugged me. “I know everything seems bad right now Layla but I promise it will be ok. We’ll both be ok. Ollie will come round and I’ll get over Mel. Eventually. We just need a little patience.”

  The sound of a guitar caught our attention and I smiled. “Sounds like Eric’s firing up the band. We should probably get out there before Mel throws her weight around at him.”

  Taking my hand, Amy led me out into the heaving bar. The crowd was completely blocking the stage and I couldn’t see Mel up there at all. Maybe she was having as much trouble as I was getting to the stage. I turned around but Amy had disappeared. Feeling rather abandoned I tried to push my way through the hoard of bodies but the sound of a husky, deep and low voice booming through the speakers halted me in my tracks. My heart raced and my breathing quickened as a familiar song began to play. I shoved hard at the people around me desp
erate to reach the stage. I had to see. I had to know it was real. The words hit me like darts as each left his lips. Reaching the stage I stared up at him.

  Standing there, caressing his guitar and singing into the mic, was Ollie. Wearing his ripped black jeans and an unbuttoned white shirt, he looked blisteringly hot. Every girl gazed at him dreamily as his perfectly sculpted chest gleamed in the spotlight. He was singing my song; the song he’d written for me at Christmas. He’d changed the music from slow and light to heavy and rocking but the words still held the same emotional message they had that morning.

  Gripping the edge of the stage I hoped he’d look down and see me but as he continued to stare into the crowd I suddenly felt nervous, anxious, guilty and sick. Pushing my way back through the crowd towards the door I had to gulp hard to stop myself from bursting into tears. He was here. In the bar, singing my song and yet I felt like he was a million miles from me. He was out of reach to me now and I’d pushed him away. Pressing my hand against the wall outside I tried to catch my breath. The music ended inside and the cheers, whistling and screams from the crowd inside made me smile. I loved it when people enjoyed Ollie’s music. He deserved the success, recognition and applause he received and I deserved his ignorance of me being there. Holding my hand to my chest, I could feel my heart beating fast, hard and heavily inside my ribcage. “Little dangerous for you to be all alone out here don’t you think?”

  My breath caught in my throat. Turning around slowly, I closed my eyes, praying that when I opened them again it wouldn’t be a horrible hallucination.

  But there he was. Tears threatened as I gazed at his gorgeous face. His warm brown eyes gazed back at me and his lip ring pinched as he smiled. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”