Resisting Temptation

by K. C. Lynn

  Grace slaps his arm. “Sawyer, I mean it, that’s enough.”

  “What? I just meant it was a quick tour.” She glares at him, calling his bullshit and he pulls her down on his lap with a chuckle. “Okay, no more, Cupcake, I promise. What are you feeding us, Country, if we don’t get meat?”

  “Don’t worry. I made vegetable shish kabobs for myself and anyone else who wants them, and my mom is bringing ones with meat. It’s Christopher’s birthday after all, and he has informed me he will die if he doesn’t eat meat at least once a day.”

  “It’s a true story,” the kid says, to which all of us guys agree.

  Faith rolls her eyes and is about to say something when the back door swings open. “Hey, there are my girls.” An older man with salt and pepper hair and the same green eyes as Red comes strolling out. He gives Katelyn a hug and kiss on the cheek before he heads over and picks Red up off her feet. “How’s my shortcake?”

  She smiles, “Hi, Papa. I’m good, but having a hard time breathing with you squeezing me so tight.”

  He chuckles and kisses her cheek before releasing her. “And now for my shortcake number two.”

  Figuring he’s talking about Ruthie by her giggle, I put her down and she runs to him. “Hi, Papa.”

  He grabs her wrist and assesses her hand. “Let me take a look at this hook. I heard you gave that little shit a good slug.”

  “Dad, don’t encourage, and watch your language around her.” I immediately stiffen at the other male voice that steps outside, knowing who it belongs to.

  “Papa Joshua!” Ruthie squeals excitedly, and I hear her run to him but I don’t look. I can’t. My blood begins to heat and my heart starts to pound fast and hard. I try forcing myself to relax and breath.

  “And this is Cade.” I snap back into myself and realize Red has been introducing everyone. “Cade, this is my papa, George Williams.”

  The older man assesses me, “You sure are a big bastard, aren’t you?” I hear Evans chuckle while Faith groans. I stare at him, wondering if he’s serious. I’m tall and in good physical condition but it’s not like I’m completely jacked, and he’s in pretty damn good condition himself for an old guy.

  He offers me his hand. “You served and my shortcake likes you, so I guess I will like you.” I clasp it right before he says, “But if you fuck up, I will shoot your ass.”

  “Papa!” Faith scolds while Katelyn laughs out loud, just fucking eating this up.

  “What? I’m just stating this upfront, and he’s not rattled by it. I have to admit, he seems better than that arrogant asshole, Dr. Carson.”

  I grunt and look over at Red. “I am definitely better than the doctor.”

  She gives me a sexy smile, “No arguments here on that one.”

  Goddamn right…

  “Don’t even get me started on Dr. Sissy,” Sawyer mumbles, he and Jaxson getting all riled up with the mention of the douche’s name.

  The old man laughs out loud, “Dr. Sissy, now that’s a good one, but it should be, ‘Dr. Sissy, the liar.’ That asshole tried getting people to believe my cholesterol was high then he tried to date my shortcake. The lying prick has some nerve.” Faith and Katelyn laugh in disbelief and shake their heads.

  “Okay, Dad, let’s not get started on this again, and watch your mouth when Ruthie is around,” a woman breaks in, stepping forward. Her hair is long and dark red, the same as Faith’s, but her eyes are brown rather than green. She also has the same delicate features and porcelain skin. It’s obvious where Red gets her beauty.

  “And this is my mother, Linda Williams.”

  I start to extend my hand but the woman steps into me and wraps her arms around my waist. I try my damnedest not to tense but it’s obvious I am uncomfortable. I am better than I used to be but only with Red and Ruthie. I don’t like anyone else touching me.

  “I’m so happy to finally meet you. I owe my life to you for saving my precious girl… to all of you,” she adds, her voice thick with emotion as she looks at Sawyer and Jaxson.

  I become even more uncomfortable, not feeling like I deserve her praise, but I pat her shoulder awkwardly, not wanting to be a total asshole and clear my throat, “It’s nice to meet you too.”

  I didn’t think things could get any more awkward, that’s until the next person steps up. The one I have been dreading to meet.

  “All right, Linda, let the boy go now, so I can properly meet him.”

  Faith’s mom steps aside and I get the overwhelming urge to keep her here, anything to stop this moment from happening.

  “Cade, this is my father, Joshua Williams.” Faith’s introduction is soft and apprehensive.

  “Well I have to agree with my wife. It’s a pleasure to finally meet the men who saved my daughter’s life and especially you, Cade.”

  Knowing I can’t prolong it any longer, I look at him. He isn’t what I expected. He doesn’t look anything like ‘him’, he even has the same green eyes as Red and his father, but that doesn’t stop my heart from jack hammering in my chest and rage rushing through my veins as I see him holding Ruthie. Her arms are wrapped tightly around his neck, which has a small gold chain with a fucking cross hanging from it. I get the urge to rip her away from him, and it takes everything in me not to react to it. Images from so long ago try to resurface, but I clench my teeth and fight like hell to stop them from emerging, knowing I will lose my fucking shit.

  “Cade?” Faith says nervously.

  I quickly realize the guy’s hand is extended, waiting for me to take it; everyone is quiet, watching the scene unfold.

  Jesus calm down, he isn’t ‘him’. He is not the same guy. I clasp his hand and try to keep my body relaxed but no matter how many times I repeat the mantra it doesn’t do anything to ease the fire rushing through my veins.

  “Hi,” is all I can manage to offer, and if my expression is as hard as my voice then I know I’m not fooling anyone. The man doesn’t deter from it. He even manages to keep his smile and give me a firm handshake, but I remove my hand from his quickly.

  Katelyn clears her throat to break the tension, “How about opening birthday presents since everyone is here now?”

  “There wasn’t supposed to be presents, just a supper,” Christopher mumbles uncomfortably.

  “Of course we brought you presents,” Kayla replies. “What kind of party would it be without them? Especially your sweet sixteen,” she adds with a chuckle.

  Everyone takes a seat at the table to watch the kid open his presents. I find myself wanting to snatch Ruthie from the guy before he sits down but I manage to restrain myself. I look at Faith for the first time since her introduction, and the hurt in her eyes as she looks back at me is like a punch to my throat. Fuck!

  I shake my head and walk into the house, needing to get my shit together. I go into the bathroom and slam the door, wanting to punch my fist through the fucking wall. I look into the mirror and the reflection I see staring back at me is one that I haven’t seen for a while, not since Red and the kids, but it’s one I know so well. My expression is cold, and my eyes hard and violent. I also look pale and it’s because I fucking feel physically sick, rage twisting my stomach in knots, my skin cold and clammy.

  Jesus, what the fuck is happening to me? I splash cold water on my face and grip the sink while I try to take deep breaths through the tightness in my chest.

  Minutes later, when I’m a little calmer, although not by much, I walk back outside to see the kid opening the last of his gifts and feel like shit that I missed it. Everyone glances at me but quickly shift their attention back to Christopher, not wanting to make shit more awkward.

  Red looks at me, and if it’s possible her eyes turn even more fucking sad. She walks over and wraps her arms around me, then places a kiss right over my raging heartbeat, which only adds to the restriction in my chest. Figures. I’m the one who’s fucking hurting her but she’s comforting me. I hold her back, pulling her against me, needing to show her what I can’t say. That
I’m sorry.

  “Holy crap, are you serious, Katelyn? You got me tickets to KISS?”

  Katelyn claps her hands excitedly, “I know. It’s awesome, right? A client of mine hooked me up and even got us backstage passes. I thought we could go for the weekend since it’s in Raleigh. I was able to get four; two of those are for Faith and me and the other one can go to whoever you want.” She looks over and blatantly winks at Alissa.

  “Thanks. This is seriously awesome, actually, thank you everyone. All of the gifts were great, unnecessary, but great.”

  “There’s still one more,” Faith adds quietly and looks up at me with a smile. The beauty of it eases a small part of the rage coursing through me.

  She walks over to Christopher and pulls him to stand. “Cade and I got you something too.” She starts leading him across the backyard toward the garage. Everyone gets up and curiously follows.

  “Oh I tan’t wait till you see dis, Twistiphwor,” Ruthie squeals excitedly. I don’t look over, not wanting to see him holding her. Because I know if I do, I will fucking lose it. I’m close to the edge as is.

  Once we reach the side door, Red stands behind Christopher and covers his eyes. “What are you doing?” he asks nervously.

  “I don’t want you to see until the very last second.” She looks at me, her excitement shining through her eyes, and nods. I unlock the door and open it. She leads him in blind and everyone follows, then she leans in and kisses his cheek. “I love you, Christopher. Happy Birthday.”

  She removes her hands and the kid stares in shock as he looks around the garage that has been cleared out and now replaced with a brand new set of drums, an electric guitar and a microphone.

  “I know you want to learn the drums,” Faith starts softly, “but I also wanted you to have a guitar again in case you want to learn that too, since you never got the chance with your last one. The guitar I can help you learn, but the drums I have found someone else who is going to come give you lessons twice a week.”

  He looks around the room for another minute, silence weighing heavily in the air as we all wait for him to say something. He opens his mouth then quickly closes it, not being able to form words. I watch him visibly swallow then shake his head before grabbing Faith and hugging her tight. She comes out of her shock quickly and hugs him back just as strong. “Thank you,” he whispers gruffly, “just…thank you for everything you do.”

  “You’re welcome. You deserve it and so much more.” Tears are evident in Faith’s reply.

  Everyone is silent, watching the personal moment, and I look over to see the girls sniffling and wiping their tears while the guys shift uncomfortably. Christopher steps back a minute later, then walks up to me and shakes my hand. “Thanks. Not just for this but for everything too.”

  I take it in a firm shake and clap him on the shoulder. “You’re welcome, and Faith is right, you deserve it.”

  Smiling now, he walks over to his drums and everyone follows to check it out. I decide to start getting things on the barbecue for supper. In the midst of putting shit on the grill Evans walks over, and I brace myself, knowing what he’s going to say is going to piss me off. He stands beside me and I feel him stare at me but I don’t look over.

  “You need to chill, Walker.”

  I grind my teeth and restrain myself from lashing out like I want to. “Don’t fucking worry about it, I’m fine.”

  “Fuck that. You’re not fooling anyone; you look like you’re ready to commit murder. He is not ‘him’!”

  I turn on him fast. “Evans, I’m fucking warning you right now, back the fuck off.”

  He glares back at me. “Then fucking pull yourself together before you ruin the kid’s fucking birthday.”

  He stalks back to the garage and I return to what I was doing. I try really fucking hard to do what he says, to pull myself together, but it just isn’t happening. So much pain and hatred fights to surface, and I pray I can keep it down until this night is over. But no matter how hard I try, it doesn’t happen.

  As the evening goes on it only gets worse. I’m on the opposite side of the table from the guy and I haven’t looked at him once, but every time he opens his mouth to speak, the rage builds and eats at me. It’s not logical and I know it, but it doesn’t seem to matter. I can’t control it. Images from that awful day keep trying to resurface, and the pain and violence that comes with it is suffocating. My heart starts to pound again, my blood running hot and fast as the guy talks about his plans with the fucking cult he calls a church.

  “I was also going to mention to you, Faith, that there is a convention I am going to next month and any of the pastor’s kids or grandkids are welcome to come and join the weekend Bible camp. I thought that might be something Ruthie might want to join me.”

  For the first time since shaking his hand, I look up at him.

  “Oh, that would be…”

  “No!” I interrupt Faith, my voice cold and hard, reflecting exactly how I’m feeling.

  An awkward silence falls over the table and Faith clears her throat, “It’s something we can discuss later,” she says cautiously.

  No fucking way. I hold the guy’s stare. “She isn’t going anywhere overnight with you or any of those other pedophiles!”

  “Cade…” Faith snaps the warning.

  The guy takes a deep breath. “Listen, son.” I tense at the word ‘son’, another voice sounding in my head with his…“Now just stay where you are, son. This is God’s will and you cannot change what he wants!” I shake my head to rid the voice and snap back in the present. “I know what happened to your sister and I just want to say…”

  “Oh shit,” Sawyer curses, just as I jump out of my chair, knocking it over in my fit of rage.

  “Cade!” Faith yells, a note of desperation in her voice.

  I point at the guy. “You shut the fuck up. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. You know…”

  “Cade, stop it right now! You are out of line and scaring Ruthie.” Faith’s angry warning has me looking over to see Ruthie’s eyes big and tear-filled.

  Guilt strikes me deep but it’s not enough to calm the rage and I know I have to get the fuck out of here. Turning, I pick up the chair and throw it across the fucking patio before walking out the door. I get in my truck and head to the only place where I can unleash the violence flowing through me.

  CHAPTER 30

  Faith

  Tears stream down my face, blurring my vision, as I drive to Cade’s apartment, hoping that’s where he is. After trying to salvage what was left of Christopher’s supper, and apologizing profusely for Cade’s awful behavior, I knew I had to see him, I had to talk to him.

  So many emotions are overwhelming me. I’m upset Christopher’s supper was a complete bust, when he deserves so much more than that. I’m hurt and angry on my dad’s behalf for the way Cade treated him, but, more than anything, I ache for Cade. I knew it was going to be hard on him, and I had known he had never dealt with his sister’s death but I didn’t realize how bad it was.

  From the moment he looked at my father he became cold and angry, something I hadn’t seen in so long, but it was more than that, he looked physically sick. He was pale and I could see sweat starting to dot his skin, his eyes weren’t even focused. It was if he was having symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. Then when he walked back out from the bathroom, the broken expression on his face had almost killed me.

  My heart breaks for him but it also breaks for my father. He does not deserve to be treated like that. I hate that this is the only side of Cade my family saw. My dad tried to be understanding but I could see his concern for me and I don’t blame him, I can only imagine what Cade looks like to him now, but I also know that is not who Cade is, not deep down. That was something I tried explaining to all of them. My mother is worried, my papa is pissed…I shake my head at what a mess this is.

  As I approach Cade’s apartment I see his truck isn’t here, so I continue on in hopes that he�
��s at the gym. It’s the only other place I can think he might go.

  After everyone left, which wasn’t long after supper, I had tried calling him a few times but he didn’t pick up. Christopher walked Alissa back home and Katelyn said she would stay with Ruthie so I could go find him. I expected her to be pissed like Papa was but surprisingly she wasn’t, and she had agreed I needed to go find him.

  I’m relieved when I pull up to the gym and see his truck. As I walk up to the door I see it’s relatively dark, but there is a dim light on near the back of the gym. Taking a deep breath, I try to pull myself together and calm my thundering heartbeat as I enter. I hear the sound of fast fists, pounding on what I’m assuming is the punching bag. Which ends up being clarified as I make it to the back of the gym. Cade pummels the hell out of it. His lethal body soaked with sweat as he aggressively takes out his violence on the bag. I watch him for a moment, my heart aching at seeing the rage he has inside of him.

  I’m about to announce myself when he speaks first, “You shouldn’t be here. You need to leave.”

  I ignore the sting of his greeting and shake my head, “No. We need to talk and I’m not going anywhere until we do.”

  He stops his punches and rests his arms heavily on the bag, his breathing ragged. When he finally looks up at me, I suck in a sharp breath at the haunted look on his face. “Say what it is you need to say then get out.”

  His coldness toward me has pain building and my temper spiking. “That’s it, Cade? You’re going to push me away, you’re going to just push us all away?”

  “What the fuck do you want from me, Faith? Clearly, this isn’t going to work with your old man in your life.”

  “Why? You didn’t even give him a chance. You just…”

  “I don’t want to give him a fucking chance! I fucking hate him. Don’t you get that? I always will, and nothing will ever fucking change that. I hate him for everything he stands for!”

  “What about me?” I cry. “I stand for everything he does and you don’t hate me?” He grinds his teeth and his breathing turns harder. I swallow thickly then whisper, “He did not hurt your sister. He isn’t…”