Redeem Me

by Jennifer Foor

  “I need to go.”

  My aunt stood up with me. “Where are you goin’?”

  “To get my girlfriend back. Her dad’s holdin’ somethin’ over her head. I don’t know what it is, but I’m willin’ to bet it has to do with me. I’ll be damned if he’s goin’ to tear us apart.”

  “Parker, don’t do somethin’ you’ll regret. You’ve got a chance to make it big, boy. Don’t mess it up.”

  I kissed her on the cheek. “I appreciate that, but I’m startin’ to see that there’s more important things in life than professional football. I’ve got a child on the way, and I’m goin’ to be there no matter what I have to give up.”

  Chapter 30

  Cameron

  This couldn’t be happening to me; not like this. I may have been angry, but I didn’t want Parker to think I hated him. While speaking to him on the phone I had to be careful with my words. My dad stood over me, watching me like a hawk to its prey.

  I could only hope that Parker read between the lines. He had to know this wasn’t my doing. If I would have left him I’d have left a note. I’d have heard him out before doing something so desperate. He knew how I felt about my parents. They were the last two people on the planet that I wanted to be around.

  “I hate you for this. I hope you know that. You can throw whatever you want at me, but I refuse to let you win. I’m not going to law school. Your high hopes of me taking over the family business are long gone. Do I make myself clear? I’m done with you. You’ve ruined my life. You’ve taken away my childhood, and now you’re destroying my chances of happiness. This unforgivable act is the reason that you’ll never be a part of my child’s life.”

  “This is just you being angry. You’ll come to your senses.”

  “Screw you! Screw both of you. I despise you. You’re not parents. This is not a government. It’s my life. The day I turned eighteen I had a choice. You’ve got no hold over me.”

  “Don’t force me to have that boy put in jail.”

  “I’m here to protect him. Don’t you see that? I’d die before I let you ruin him. He’s a good man, and I’ll love him for the rest of my life. This baby inside of me is proof of that. Do what you want to me, but you’re not touching my child, and I’ll be damned if you’re hurting Parker.” This was my life, and I wasn’t going to be told what was supposed to happen. They weren’t taking away Parker’s dreams because of me. I’d push him away to keep him safe, and when the time is right, I’d break free.

  I retreated to my room after the conversation, hoping and praying that Mary, our housekeeper would somehow help me escape again. My parents were very mistaken if they thought they had any right to adopt out my child. I was a grown woman, and this was my choice.

  I sat in my room, writing a letter to Parker. He needed to know that I wanted what was best for him. I’d fight to protect our baby, but I wanted him to succeed with his football career. I wouldn’t be their prisoner forever. Once I knew Parker was out of danger, I’d find him and we could be a family, if he still wanted me. I knew that after my baby was born everything would change. I may have been temporarily stuck, but it wasn’t going to last forever.

  Dear Parker:

  I hope this letter finds you well. If you’re receiving this then it’s probably been a while since we last spoke. I’m sorry for the hardships that you’ve endured after my departure. If I had a way to go back in time perhaps I would have done things differently.

  I never meant to hurt you, or lead you on. This pregnancy caused us to act so quickly. I’ve never seen myself as anything except a lawyer, but that’s all changed now. You were right about everything. I never wanted to be an attorney. In fact, I never really wanted to be anything. It’s taken this pregnancy to prove that to me. You see, feeling our baby moving inside of me has only showed me my true calling. Somehow, or someway I’m going to be a mother. I’m going to love our child, like I was never loved myself. I’m going to give our baby the best life I can, showering him or her with so much affection. I’m going to let them play with other children, and use their imaginations to create magical lands where they live happily amongst the many friends they’ve made.

  I know you don’t understand why I left. It pains me to say this now, but it was for you. I couldn’t let my father threaten your future. He said he’d take away your dreams, and since he’d already destroyed mine, I couldn’t let his power do that.

  Parker, I may not understand your past choices, and I may still be angry with you for holding that secret, but my love for you will never have ceased. I’ll wake up every morning wanting to be in your arms, and I’ll go to sleep each night loving you with everything I have in me.

  You’ve taught me how to love unconditionally, and I promise that I’ll pass that on to our child. Please save a place for us in your heart, because once I know you’re safe, we’ll be back. Just be patient, Parker.

  I love you,

  Cam

  With teary eyes I folded up the letter and sealed it in an envelope, before hiding it between my mattresses. I’d find a way to mail it to him, so he’d know that I hadn’t given up on us.

  If I knew Parker like I thought I did, he probably already be on his way to rescue me. I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave, but at least I could give him the letter, where I’d poured out my heart to him. Knowing how important football was to him, he’d probably back off, allowing me that time I needed to get away from my parents.

  All I could hope was that his intentions to be a family were pure. If that was the case than he’d wait for me. If not, he’d move on. I’d still raise our child as I’d stated in the letter.

  The first couple of hours after our phone conversation gave me time to think. I’d been so upset about my father finding me that I hadn’t had time to think about what was really bothering me.

  The secret.

  I knew I’d forgive him. That was never really a question. At first I may have been in utter shock, but as soon as this new catastrophe came into play, I’d realized what I could be giving up. Parker loved me. That was the difference. We’d made a baby out of love, and we’d already planned to have a future together. This pregnancy wasn’t the result of a one-night stand. It was two people that were so connected that nothing could tear us apart.

  Parker had to know that’s how I saw us. He had to know that I was lying on the phone.

  Both of my parents attempted to talk to me throughout the evening, but I refused. I’d said all there was to be said. We weren’t a family, and we never had been. They were controlling people, who’d had a kid for the sole purpose of carrying on the family name.

  It was humiliating.

  After spending forty minutes trying to unravel four screws with only my fingernails, I let the small door that covered the access panel fall to the floor. I knew for a fact that there was an old landline phone up there somewhere. While they slept, content that I was locked in the confines of my room, I located the device. It took me a few more minutes to slowly climb down safely. It was even harder to slide my nightstand across he hardwood floor without making a sound. Inch by inch I made enough space to insert the cord into the outlet. The sound of a dial tone made me giddy.

  I wasn’t going to have to give Parker that letter, because I’d be able to tell him how I felt myself. It was the happiest I’d felt in the past twenty-four hours.

  I dialed his number, praying he’d answer. As soon as I heard his voice on the other end I began to cry.

  “Hello? Cam is that you?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “Tell me it’s not true. Tell me you didn’t call them.”

  “I didn’t,” I quietly sobbed. “I swear. I don’t know how he found me.”

  “It doesn’t matter. All I care about is gettin’ you home.”

  “That’s why I’m calling. You can’t come, Parker. He’s threatening to ruin your football chances. I can’t let you take that chance.” God, it hurt me so much to tell him to stay away.

  �
��Cam, I don’t care about football.”

  “Yes you do,” I calmly argued. “This is your future.”

  “You’re my future. Don’t you get that. I don’t want any of it without you. God, I thought you left me today. I felt like I’d ruined everything.”

  “I walked away because I wanted time, not because I wanted to walk away from what we had. My dad showed up and it all happened so fast. He threatened to report my car stolen. He said he’d somehow dropped it off at the frat house, and that with the amount of your fingerprints he’d be able to have you locked up. I won’t let him have you arrested for grand theft.”

  “Fuck him. I’m comin’ to get you. We’ll get through all of this together.”

  “Parker, please calm down. I have a plan, but it’s going to take time. I need you to trust me. In the meantime I can call you from this phone. I climbed up in the attic through my closet and found it.” I was actually proud of myself for figuring out a way to communicate with him.

  “I don’t like this, Cam. You belong here with me. We’ve got issues that we need to resolve.”

  “I know. We will, I promise.”

  I heard his voice changing on the other end of the call. “I deserve this, Cam. I deserve all of it.” Parker had begun to cry. I could feel his pain radiating through the phone. “I wasn’t ready to be a father. We spent one drunk night together, and neither of us even remembered the details of it. I didn’t like her, and she didn’t like me. It was a terrible mistake, I swear.”

  “You don’t have to explain.” His pain was making me get choked up. “We can talk about this later.”

  “No. You need to hear it now. I can’t spend another second livin’ with this guilt.” He sniffled before continuing. “I didn’t want to believe that she was pregnant. At first I pretended it wasn’t happenin’. She wanted to get with Ford, and told everyone he was the father. It worked for a while, so I put it out of my mind. Then Shayne came to visit me at college. He knew the truth, and it pissed me off. I wasn’t willing to give up my life for one night.” He paused and I heard him breaking down. I wanted nothing more than to hold him in my arms as he told me the story. “I was a shitty person back then, Cam. I made my brother and Ashley’s life hell. I caused them problems, and almost allowed my actions to prevent both of them from raisin’ the twins. After makin’ everyone hate me, I knew it was best to sign over rights to them. Shayne wanted to raise them as his own, and I wasn’t in any way prepared to be a parent to two children. I thought I’d made the right choice. I love my brother, and I know he’s a great dad. I’m okay bein’ their uncle, but it hurts so much. It’s fuckin’ rippin’ me apart inside. From the moment I found out about you bein’ pregnant it’s been killin’ me. Our child will have a brother and sister that they’ll never know about. They’ll grow up bein’ cousins instead. I hate it. I hate what I’ve done, and I know there’s no way to take it back. It’s my burden alone. Ash and Shayne have each other. They get to be with my kids. Shayne gets to hold them, and hear them call him dad. I’ll never have that with them. I’ll never fuckin’ have that.” He sobbed, harder and harder until I couldn’t understand anything he was saying. I felt so worthless to not be able to be there for him.

  This wasn’t the way I thought I’d feel during this talk. I thought I’d be reluctant to give him the benefit of the doubt, but this was horrible. Parker was torn apart. The secret wasn’t just to protect his brother’s family, it was to protect Parker’s own sanity. Sure, at first he wasn’t ready to be a parent. Maybe he still wasn’t, but at least he was able to talk about it. “I’m so sorry, Parker. I had no idea.”

  “Nobody does. Hell, I just realized it myself. I’ve been in denial. I mean, I know my brother is a great dad. It helped for a while, but now it’s clear. I fucked up. What’s done is done. Now I’m worried that I won’t get to know this child. Cam, I can’t handle that. I need you here with me. I need to be there for this pregnancy, the delivery, even the creepy disgusting parts. I don’t want to miss a minute. Please, say you understand.”

  “I do.” I was just too concerned about my asshole father. “I also can’t have you in trouble with the law.”

  “Marry me, Cameron. I’ve asked you before, but I’m askin’ you again now. If we’re legally wed they can’t say shit. Run away with me and become my wife. We’ll get through it as a team.”

  “I told you before, and I’ll tell you now. Yes, I’ll marry you, Parker Hutchinson. I’d love to be your wife.”

  “I’m comin’ for you, babe. Hang tight. I don’t give a shit if I have to climb up a ladder to rescue your ass. We’re gettin’ you out of that prison once and for all.”

  “You should come while it’s dark. They’ll see you if it’s morning.” I was already preparing to leave.

  “Just so you know, I was serious about the football thing. It’s nothin’ without you in my life. I mean that. We’ll figure it all out. If I’ve got to take over my dad’s shop than I will. Nothin’s goin’ to stop us.”

  Parker was on his way as soon as we’d hung up the phone. I pulled out the note that I was no longer going to have to send him.

  With shaky hands I wrote one to my parents. This was the last time they’d hear from me. My mind was already made up. They’d never been loving to me, and so I knew they’d have nothing to offer my child. They were both too narcissistic to care about someone other than themselves. My baby wouldn’t know that kind of selfishness.

  Dear Mr. & Mrs. Hynson:

  I regret to inform you that I’ll no longer be needing a room at your residence. Though I appreciate the education you’ve provided me with, I’m unable to continue with the goals you’ve set in place. I’ve been treated like a possession for entirely too long.

  Since becoming an adult, I’ve learned that my life is mine to be in control of. You may think you’re doing the right thing, but you’re very mistaken. I’ve fallen in love with someone, for all of the right reasons. He looks at me like I’m the only female on the planet, and when he holds me I’m not afraid of anything.

  I’m guessing that neither of you have ever experienced something so powerful. It’s a shame, because once you’ve had that kind of love you know you’ll never let it go.

  By the time you find this letter I’ll be gone. You can do your best to find us, but I’m sure you won’t be able to accept the consequences of your own actions. You see, I’m going to be a mother; one that adores her child, and lets them make their own choices. I’m going to hope that they will have plenty of friends, and a vivid imagination. You may have kept me from a real childhood, but you won’t have any say in your grandchild’s future.

  Most of all I’m going to teach my baby what love is. Alongside of Parker, we’ll do our best to provide for our family, even if we have to struggle to get it. After all, it’s our love that will hold our family together.

  If you’ve ever loved me, even in your own way, please let me go. I don’t plan on contacting you, and would appreciate it if you gave me the same decency. It’s time for me to spread my wings and finally be free to live.

  Cameron

  Chapter 31

  Parker

  I drove as fast as my car would go to get to Cameron. My father wasn’t too happy about picking me up in the middle of the night, but he knew it was important. Together we made the drive to Pennsylvania to pick up Cameron.

  Once we had her safe and sound, we’d go to apply for a marriage certificate in Maryland. If all went as planned, we’d be married in the next couple of days.

  My hands were clammy on the steering wheel as I drove. I couldn’t stop worrying about everything that could go wrong. Secretly I envisioned the old man coming out with a rifle, shooting me dead in front of his fancy fountain.

  I shook my fears off, determined to get to Cam.

  “She’s goin’ to be waitin’ for us. I’m hopin’ she’s able to walk out the front door, since her parents will be asleep. Just keep the car runnin’. I’ll climb the fence and signal her wi
th the flashlight.”

  My dad laughed. “You seem like you’ve done this before.”

  Even I chuckled at his remark. “No. I just watch a lot of television. Besides, I’ve played this out in my head a dozen times now.”

  “What if he calls the police?”

  I hadn’t considered that to be an option. “Dad, at this point I don’t care what he does. He can’t keep me from his daughter, or my baby. This shit has got to stop.”

  My dad lifted up his phone and proceeded to be doing something so important that he couldn’t answer me.

  “What are you doing over there?”

  “I’m buying two tickets to Vegas. You need to get married without him being in your business. Even if he suspects it, he’ll be too far away to stop you.”

  “I’ll pay you back,” I assured him.

  “Consider it a wedding present.”

  I snickered. “It’s a deal. Look, I know you probably think I’m crazy.”

  “I don’t,” he interrupted. “I’m proud of you for doing this. It’s a shame that Cameron has to go through this, but I’m proud of you for being responsible. If that man thinks he can mess with you, I hope he’s prepared to mess with me too. I’m not having him ruin your life. He’s not the Lord.”

  “He thinks he is.”

  “Yeah, well his God complex is about to be shattered. You just go get that girl out of that house. Take her on a trip to Vegas, buy her a nice ring, and then come home. We’ll figure out the rest when you get back. Just so you know, your mother and I won’t be angry if football doesn’t work out. After seeing what Cam’s gone through we want you to know that your life’s choices are yours to make.”