Family Farm

by Palmer, Fiona

  ‘I’ll see ya later,’ he said into the warm air, but his words never reached her.

  Izzy managed to avoid Will for most of the evening, but she noticed how much time her dad spent with him, chatting as if they were best mates. She watched them closely. Will’s long, lean arms and large hands moved constantly as he talked to her dad. Every now and then, he ran his hand through his short, mousy-brown hair. Jeez, she thought, he used to do that when he was younger. She had to admit he was pleasant looking. Hell, he was gorgeous and she couldn’t deny it, but he knew it too. When he was nineteen, he thought he was so hot with his ute, and all the girls fussing over him. He thought the sun shone out of his arse. But what made it worse was that back then Izzy actually believed it did. She used to follow him and Claire around like a lost lamb. When they had been young kids they’d all played together, but when Will and Claire hit the teenage years, they deemed her too young to join in their fun. Will never teased her though. It was always Claire who’d tell her to go home if they wanted her gone. It wasn’t until she had turned sixteen that they really let her hang out with them. Izzy figured it was more for their enjoyment. Watching her get drunk and sending her on little pranks.

  Bill started heading towards the beer fridge, so Izzy took the opportunity to corner him on his own. ‘Hey, Dad. Havin’ a good time?’

  ‘Of course, sweetheart. You?’ He paused as he clutched the long metal door handle on the old fridge.

  ‘Yep, but what’s going on with Will? How come he’s here?’

  Bill sighed. ‘A lot has changed since you’ve been gone, Isabelle. Will has been through a lot. Claire’s death changed his life too. He was pretty broken up and very lost. He ended up leaving the farm for a while and did some soul-searching. He grew up and came back a different bloke, and since then we’ve been helping each other to heal. He’s really a great guy once you get to know him.’

  ‘Yeah, you think so? I haven’t noticed a change yet.’ Izzy tucked her loose fringe back firmly behind her ear. ‘You must be getting soft in your old age, mixing with Will and taking the Timmins’ charity. There’s no way I’m letting him sweet talk me around like he’s done you. I haven’t forgotten about him and Claire.’ Izzy gave her dad the look of a stubborn Simpson, then turned on her heel and left.

  What would Dad know anyway? she thought. He hadn’t been the one left comforting Claire while she’d cried of a broken heart.

  It had been a shock seeing Claire like that, as she wasn’t one to cry. Not like that anyway. She’d always been strong and carefree, had always looked on the bright side of life. To see her crumpled miserably in a heap on her bed had torn at Izzy and left an image in her mind that she’d never forget – or forgive.

  Bill just shook his head as his daughter walked away, then grabbed a cold beer and passed another to Jim.

  ‘Izzy sure is looking great. Whatever she’s been doing must have agreed with her,’ Jim said, as he screwed off the cap and took a sip. ‘Is she still trying to work on the farm?’

  Bill growled. ‘Yes. But Izzy knows my answer to that. A farm’s not a place for a young girl. She could do a whole lot better for herself.’

  ‘Come on, Bill. She’s hardly a young girl any more,’ said Jim.

  ‘Don’t I know it. You know, we took a drive around the place today. She was asking me heaps of questions about the farm and sticking her nose in, like usual. She talked me into taking a sample off in the top paddock. Bugger me if she wasn’t right. It turns out that the moisture was just under the limit. So it’s all go tomorrow morning.’

  ‘You’d better put that beer back then!’ chuckled Jim. ‘Or you could always hand it over to me.’

  The phone ringing caused them to pause. Jean called out for Izzy, who was somewhere on the crowded verandah.

  Izzy walked over to her mum and took the phone from her.

  ‘Hello?’ For a moment Izzy listened and then she exploded. ‘I told you not to call me!’

  A few people in the vicinity looked her way. She took her hand off her hip and waved it about like she was shifting stupid sheep. ‘Just piss off, will you? Leave me alone and don’t bother calling back.’ She punched the end call button with such force that she almost dropped the phone. Now she had everyone’s attention. Feeling eyes on her back, she quickly went inside to hide and sat down at the dining table. Izzy wasn’t upset this time, just bloody mad.

  A hand touched her shoulder, causing her to jump.

  ‘Mum, you scared the crap out of me.’

  Jean looked at her daughter carefully. ‘Is everything all right?’

  Izzy sighed. ‘Yeah, I’ll be fine.’

  ‘Who was he?’

  Izzy glanced at her mum. Why did she have the feeling her mum knew it all anyway? Mums have a sixth sense, Izzy was sure. Sighing again, she answered slowly, ‘Rob.’

  Jean didn’t open her mouth in shock. Instead she remained composed. ‘Rob Radcliff, your boss?’

  ‘Ex-boss.’ Izzy patted the dining chair next to her. ‘You’d better sit down.’

  She waited for her mum to sit before she began. ‘You know, everything was going great and I loved what I was doing on the farm. Rob was such a great teacher and we worked so well together. That’s why this whole thing sucks!’ Izzy covered her face with her hands. ‘We were fixing the tractor one day, and he leant across and tried to kiss me,’ she said through her fingers.

  ‘What did you do?’ Jean asked quietly, trying not to let her disappointment and concern show.

  Izzy lifted her face out of her hands. ‘Slapped him, of course.’ Taking a deep breath, Izzy tried to block out the memory that had been haunting her for the last week but it came back with a vengeance.

  It had been a normal day, just like any other. They were both in the shed and had been there for two hours even though it was still only seven-thirty in the morning. The air was crisp and her fingers were so cold they’d gone numb. Not that it bothered her. It was just how it went. Rob was not far from her in the shed. His two-day-old stubble, which was starting to go grey, prickled against the cold along his narrow jawline. There was also a hint of grey through his black hair giving him a George Clooney look. He was a bit on the scrawny side, always needing a belt for his pants, but he could do the work of a strong man. On this day they had been looking over the John Deere tractor Rob had just bought, checking everything before they began getting it ready for farm work. Izzy inspected the level and condition of the transmission and hydraulic oil and found it rather low. The oil smelt burnt and was quite discoloured, not to mention the tiny bits of grit that she could feel in it between her thumb and finger.

  She wiped the mess off her fingers onto a dirty rag nearby. ‘I don’t think your new pride and joy is really going to cut the mustard. She’s been worked over and neglected a bit. I think you’ve got a lemon,’ she said.

  Rob scoffed at her. ‘Nah, don’t you go knocking my new baby,’ he replied, then went to check it himself. She stood behind his tall frame and watched as his shoulders slumped a fraction. He’d seen the evidence too.

  ‘You never know, maybe with some TLC she’ll come good.’ Izzy tried to cheer him up. Rob then turned around and held up his oily fingers and wiggled them. Laughing, Izzy went to step back away from his threatening hands but he reached out his long arms and wrapped her up unexpectedly.

  ‘No, don’t you bloody dare. I’ll quit,’ she joked, holding her head back as far as it would stretch, while trying to escape his grasp. But with mad glee in his hazel eyes he teasingly pressed an oily finger to her forehead, leaving a smudge the length of his little finger. Izzy thought it had all just been in good fun, until Rob’s hand started caressing her cheek. Izzy felt the air around them change. She started to feel nervous, like being cornered in a pen with a charging ram heading straight for you. She tried to yell out a warning, tried to break the weird moment, but it somehow got stuck in her throat. All that came out was a raspy, ‘Rob, no.’ She tried to scramble backwards, to get feeling to
her feet, but she was in a state of shock.

  She didn’t think he’d heard and began to panic when she saw the swirling emotion in his eyes – something she’d never seen before. In the next instant he kissed her. Izzy’s lips remained shut tight, like the lid on a coffin, and her eyes were so wide they were beginning to water. She felt his hold on her relax, and in that moment she leant back and smacked his face. Her hand connected so well that the smack echoed throughout the shed like one of his kids’ cap guns.

  Rob stumbled, reeling with shock, and held the side of his face. ‘Izzy, stop,’ he said as she moved away. ‘Please listen to me. I’m sorry. I’ve tried to stop this, but I can’t. I really like you.’

  Izzy just about died on the spot.

  ‘Don’t you feel it too?’ he asked.

  ‘No, Rob. I don’t. How could you even ask that? Alice …’ She was too stunned to continue. ‘But you still love her, right?’

  She could see Rob searching inside himself for the answer. ‘Yes, of course, she’s the mother of my kids. But you, I can’t stop thinking about. I just want to hold you and taste you.’

  Izzy cringed at his words. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Rob,’ she said, trying to sound businesslike. ‘It’s just lust. You don’t really want to wreck your marriage by doing something stupid now. It was just a heat of the moment thing, right? It’s not going to happen again.’

  Rob looked at her sheepishly. ‘I’ve been trying not to think of you that way for the last month and I just can’t take it any more. Being around you every day is driving me mad, Izzy.’

  Izzy shuddered at the memory of it all. One minute it’d been great, the next it had all turned to manure, and Izzy knew then that she had no choice but to flee and never look back.

  As Izzy glanced at Jean’s waiting eyes, she lowered her voice to a whisper and continued. Izzy felt uncomfortable even saying it. ‘He was a married man, for God’s sake! I trusted him. He was a good friend, as well as … I guess … a father figure. I looked up to him as a mentor, and in one moment he shattered everything.’ Izzy realised her hands were scrunched up into fists and tried to relax. ‘I couldn’t chance it happening again so I left and came home.’

  It had been a hard decision to make – to give up her perfect life on Cliffviews. She’d been in her little cottage chucking clothes into her bags and trying to stop the tears welling in her eyes when Alice appeared at her door.

  ‘Rob’s just told me you’re leaving, Izzy. I didn’t believe him but … it’s true?’

  Luckily, Izzy had already been thinking about what to tell Alice. She knew she couldn’t leave without saying a proper goodbye. ‘I’m so sorry, Alice. Something has happened at home and I have to go back.’

  ‘Oh, is it your parents? I hope they’re okay.’ Alice said it with such sincerity that Izzy found it hard to continue with her lie.

  ‘No, they’re fine. It’s just Dad needs me on the farm right now. He’s really struggling and this is what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I hope you understand, Ali. I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done and for embracing me into your family.’

  Alice began to cry. Izzy dropped her armful of clothes and held her tightly. She brushed Alice’s red curly hair back off her face and smiled. Alice was almost fifteen years older than her but they’d become close friends.

  ‘I’m dreading telling the kids,’ said Izzy, grimacing.

  ‘Well, here’s your chance.’ Alice’s blue eyes glistened with fresh tears as she heard a motorbike pull up outside. A few seconds later Emma and Chris came running inside, their cheeks flushed from the ride on the bike.

  Emma, the oldest, and the spitting image of her mum with flaming hair and a splattering of cute freckles across her cheeks and nose, got to Izzy first. ‘Izzy, you can’t go,’ she wailed with all the drama a thirteen-year-old could muster. She threw herself into Izzy’s arms and whispered into her ear, ‘Who will I have to talk to?’

  Many times Emma had snuck down to Izzy’s cottage for some deep and meaningful conversations on boys and other things she couldn’t bring herself to talk to Alice about. ‘I’ll be fourteen next month and you said you had a surprise planned. Can’t you stay till then?’

  ‘I know, and I’m really sorry. My dad needs me for harvest so I have to go now. You can still call me any time or email me. It’s not like I’m falling off the face of the earth.’

  The realisation that she could still talk to Izzy seemed to satisfy Emma. But now it was Chris’s turn. The gangly eleven-year-old, grazed from coming off the bike two days earlier, wrapped his bony arms around Izzy. She scruffed up his hair, as his blue eyes pleaded. ‘Who’s gonna play pool with me and take me yabbying and fix my bike after I stack it?’

  It was so hard leaving them but Izzy had set her mind on leaving. She hadn’t really wanted to, but she could see she had no choice. There was no way Rob would forget about her if she was still on the farm and in his face every day. And Izzy had always known that at some point she would return to Gumlea. Her dream of running it wasn’t going to happen while she was on the other side of the country. Perhaps this was a sign that it was time, anyway. It was a slap in the face, but it had helped her remember her dream.

  Alice had convinced her to stay for dinner that night and had prepared a feast. Rob had been quiet the whole night and Izzy found it very uncomfortable. Luckily they had the distraction of the kids.

  The next morning they stood together as a family waving her goodbye. She was sure she was doing the right thing for Alice, Emma and Chris. And for Rob. She didn’t hate him. She couldn’t, after all he’d given her, but she was very angry and hurt. One day she hoped they could meet on better terms. She’d love to come back and see the kids and Alice again.

  Izzy now searched her mother’s eyes. Did Jean agree with what she’d done? ‘I racked my brain, Mum, and I’m positive I didn’t do anything to lead him on or give him the wrong impression. I can’t believe I never saw this coming.’

  Jean put her hand on her daughter’s and gave it a squeeze. ‘I know you wouldn’t have done anything to encourage him. These things happen. It certainly wasn’t your fault.’

  ‘But, Mum, I feel bad for Alice. She doesn’t even know. I still feel as if I’ve betrayed her, even though I haven’t. It’s not fair. I already miss Alice and the kids so much.’ Izzy shook her head. ‘I’m hoping that, with me gone, Rob’ll realise what a fool he’s been and remember that he still loves Alice. But the idiot keeps calling me!’

  ‘He’ll stop when he realises you’re not going back. He wouldn’t leave his farm. One day he’ll see how stupid he was and how close he came to losing it all. You were right to leave, Izzy.’ Jean said the words she knew her daughter needed to hear.

  Izzy turned her head to the crowd outside. ‘God, how many heard me out there?’

  ‘Not many,’ said Jean reassuringly, but her eyes told another story.

  ‘I might just hide in here for a while,’ Izzy said, as her cheeks began to burn.

  Jean stood up. ‘Well, don’t stay for too long. This party was for you, remember.’

  ‘Yeah, a good impression I’ve made so far,’ she said sarcastically, before they both laughed. Izzy watched her leave. Thank God she had her mum to confide in. Sometimes poor old Tom just wasn’t enough.

  Eventually she made her way back outside and used the moment to give Aunt B her present. She found her sitting tightly packed into a plastic chair on the verandah.

  ‘Hiya, Aunt Betty. I have a little something for you.’ Izzy gave her a hug and produced the gift.

  ‘Oh, you shouldn’t have, pet.’ Aunt Betty’s thick fingers opened the present gently. ‘My, it’s gorgeous. Thank you. I know just where to put it.’ She wrapped Izzy up against her bright flowery dress and hugged her again. They chatted for a while and Aunt Betty invited her over for afternoon tea on the weekend. ‘I’ve invited Jess over as well. She’s such a lovely girl. You two used to come over all the time for my chocolate slice and spon
ges. Have you caught up with her since you’ve been home?’

  Izzy smiled as she thought about Jess. She was probably not in the good books with her as they’d lost contact quite soon after Izzy had moved away. But she’d love the chance to catch up with her old friend. She was the daughter of the Painters who lived about twenty kilometres away on their farm, Glencoe. ‘No, I haven’t yet, so that sounds like a plan. You’re a gem. I should have thought to invite her today, but I’m still just getting into the swing of things.’

  ‘Ah, you’ll have your roots replanted soon enough.’ Aunt Betty waved her away with a wink.

  Izzy got herself another drink, then went and said hello to Uncle Jim, Betty’s husband. There was no one else close to her age except for Will, as only closest friends and neighbours had been invited. She’d been away for so long she didn’t know who’d be left in the district of her age. You could usually count on the blokes hanging around, as they’d work the farms, but most girls would have moved to a bigger town or shifted to the city. At least it sounded like Jess was still around. Izzy couldn’t wait to catch up with her.

  4

  IZZY was up at four-thirty the next day to help her dad get started with harvest. The barbecue had ended early as everyone else was in the same boat with harvest and so they were all in bed by ten o’clock that night.

  Today she was going to get the old Honda fire pump going and fill its tank, then help her dad shift the field bins into the paddock. And if she could convince her father to let her, she might get to drive the header.

  After a big fry-up breakfast, she headed up to the shed that housed the firefighting gear. It sat on the back of the old yellow Toyota Land Cruiser, the same one Izzy had learnt to drive when she was eight. She did a few checks on the motor, then drove to the standpipe, which was ten minutes down the road, and filled up the tank.

  As she drove back into the shed, she saw her dad outside talking to Will. She couldn’t believe it. Her guts churned. Maybe her father had adopted him while she was away. He’d always wanted a son.