Family Farm

by Palmer, Fiona

  ‘Hello,’ said Will, as she walked towards them.

  A quick nod was all she could muster in acknowledgement, before she turned to her dad.

  ‘The firefighter’s all filled up and ready to go and I checked the pump too. She’s all good, so I’ll run it up to the top paddock if you like. Have you got the new extinguishers?’

  ‘Yep. I’ll get you to run me out to the header and I’ll make a start. Will, can you take Izzy back on your bike before you head home?’ asked Bill.

  ‘Sure, no worries,’ said Will, scratching his chin, which was shadowed with light stubble.

  ‘No, Dad. I’m fine,’ Izzy said sharply. ‘I was hoping to do a few rounds with you anyway to see how the crop goes, then I can just walk back.’

  ‘No, I don’t want you hanging around up there with me. Besides, it’s a long walk back and Will’s here.’ Bill leant over to Izzy and lowered his voice. ‘It’s about time you gave him a break and got to know him. You can’t change the past, so move on.’ He turned to Will. ‘Cheers, mate. I appreciate it. Thanks for bringing over the belt for the header. Let me know how much I owe you.’ He nodded to him, then placed a couple of fire extinguishers in the back of the ute. He climbed in and waited for Izzy.

  Izzy muttered a few expletives under her breath before climbing in too. They headed off, with Will following behind on his motorbike.

  When Izzy got to the paddock, she gave it one last try. ‘Come on, Dad, a couple of laps won’t hurt. Please,’ she begged. Why was it that she always felt as though she was only ten years old around him?

  ‘Maybe later, sweetheart. Just let me get the teething problems sorted out first.’

  Yeah right, she thought, angry that he was trying to fob her off. She watched him check over the header and start his first lap around the paddock before she reluctantly headed towards Will, who was waiting patiently on his bike.

  He was astride a new-looking Yamaha, his jeans pulled tight across his thighs. He adjusted his hat as she came towards him. His reflective sunglasses made it impossible for her to tell what he was looking at. Her own eyes quickly took in his blue singlet, which fitted tightly over his chest and left his tanned, well-built arms exposed.

  ‘I don’t mind walking, if you have better things to do,’ she said, as she stopped next to him.

  ‘Come on, get on. I won’t bite, I promise.’ He gave her a cheeky smile. A tiny dimple appeared on the right side of his cheek, which they used to tease him about when he was a kid but now looked rather sexy. His jaw was lean and narrowed elegantly towards his chin and his skin was the silkiest brown. He would make a great underwear model, she thought suddenly, before shaking it from her mind, annoyed for letting herself get distracted by his good looks. Best get this over sooner rather than later. With a big sigh, she swung her leg over the bike.

  ‘Hang on,’ he warned as he kicked the bike into a noisy rumble. Then he reached back, grabbed her hands and drew them around his waist.

  Izzy didn’t want to touch him. She quickly withdrew her hands and opted to hang onto the back of the bike instead. ‘Don’t worry,’ she told him. ‘Claire could never toss me off a bike.’ Izzy mentioned Claire deliberately. It worked. Will rode her home in silence.

  In front of her house, Will stopped the bike with a small skid and her chest slammed into his back. He shut down the motor as Izzy quickly jumped off, slightly embarrassed that her chest had been embedded into his back. She was about to walk away when Will reached out and grabbed her. His long fingers curled easily around her narrow wrist. He took off his sunnies, as if knowing how the mesmerising blue of his eyes would weaken her.

  ‘All this hostility isn’t good, Izzy. How long are you gonna hold a grudge for?’

  Will searched her eyes. They were set hard, but they didn’t fool him. Behind them was the real Izzy, the girl who would laugh hysterically at a good joke or go out of her way to help anyone in need. He’d forgotten how much time he and Claire used to spend with Izzy. When she came home from boarding school they’d have great times corrupting her. Like the time they dared her to move everyone’s cars around outside the hall during a busy function late one night, so when everyone went to go home there was complete confusion. It had been hell funny to watch and was easy to do as almost half the district still left their keys in their cars. They used to sneak Izzy drinks out the back of parties when she was around fifteen or sixteen and laugh when she got pissed, then frantically try to sober her up so they didn’t get busted. Izzy had definitely changed since then. She’d hardened, that’s for sure. But Will hoped that the carefree, fun-loving side of her was still in there somewhere. He wished she knew the truth about him and Claire. It would be so much easier for them to make amends and move on, but he figured Izzy couldn’t fight him forever. No matter how long it took, he would thaw that block of ice she held between them. Claire would have known how to get through to her sister. God, he missed her. And Claire wouldn’t want him to give up on Izzy either.

  As he looked up, he noticed Izzy had been studying him. Her eyes were fixed and wide as if reading his thoughts. The hairs on his neck prickled. He felt like she’d opened his personal diary, but he’d had enough practice in shutting down his emotional thoughts to know how to handle it.

  Izzy glanced at his hand, which he still had gripped around her wrist. ‘I’ll hold a grudge for as long as it takes. Don’t think you can win me over with that smile of yours, Will Timmins, because it won’t work on me. Thanks for the ride.’ She pulled away and headed towards the house with her head held high.

  Will watched her go, a mixture of puzzlement and sadness on his face. He was about to start the motorbike when he heard a car coming down the driveway. Will eyed off the new Toyota Hilux ute as it pulled up and a tall man got out. He walked over to where Will sat upon the bike.

  ‘G’day there. You lost?’ Will asked.

  ‘Nah, mate. I’m looking for Izzy, Izzy Simpson. Is this her place?’

  Will’s ears pricked up and his eyes roamed over the guy – his short black hair and two-day-old stubble. He wore a simple T-shirt and jeans with a pair of workboots, and had a wide stance and his arms crossed. Will would bet a fiver that this bloke was a farmer, and he looked to be in his late thirties. What was he doing here chasing Izzy?

  Will was about to reply when Izzy beat him to it. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’ He felt a gust of air as she stormed past, like a miniature cockeye bob.

  ‘You won’t answer my calls. What else was I supposed to do, Izzy? I —’

  Izzy threw her hands up in the man’s face. ‘Don’t you start, Rob. I’m not interested. You’ve come a bloody long way for nothing. Does Alice know you’re here?’ Her hands were now set firmly on her hips.

  Will was listening intently. The other two were so involved in their conversation they’d forgotten he was there. He was uncomfortable on the bike but he didn’t dare move in case he made a noise and reminded them of his presence. He was enjoying this little show. It was nice to see Izzy fuming at someone other than himself for a change. But who was this guy, he wondered.

  ‘Of course she knows I came to see you,’ said Rob rather sheepishly. ‘Look, you left without your pay, and besides, I want you back – I mean, we all do. The kids miss you, Izzy. Chris is following me everywhere like a lost lamb.’

  ‘There is no way I’m going back. Besides, it’d do you and Chris a world of good to spend some more time together.’ At the mention of Chris, Izzy felt a pang of sadness in her heart as his cheeky boyish smile came to mind.

  ‘But the farm – I can’t run it without you. Look, I’ll pay you more. I’ll do anything. It will take me forever to find someone I can trust to do your job. I’m so sorry about what happened, but can’t we move on? Please, Izzy. It’s nearly harvest.’

  Izzy shook her head. ‘Well, you’d better start looking around because I can’t come back, Rob. It just wouldn’t be the same. I don’t know if I could trust you again.’

  Will was abou
t to pipe up and tell the bloke he didn’t have a hope in hell of getting a Simpson to change their mind, but he figured it wouldn’t go down too well.

  With a start Izzy remembered Will was behind her and she really didn’t need him listening to this. She grabbed Rob’s elbow and led him back around to the other side of his ute. Just seeing the Hilux brought back vivid memories of the hours she’d spent driving it around Rob’s farm.

  ‘Who’s he?’ He jerked his thumb towards Will.

  ‘Our neighbour, that’s all. Rob, you must understand that there was nothing between us. What you felt was just lust or attraction, but nothing worth leaving Alice and the kids over. I did you a favour by leaving. Now you can get back to your family and your farm.’

  The look on her face confirmed her words; Rob looked dejected. ‘Part of me knows you’re right, but the other part misses you like crazy. Hell, Izzy, we had some great times.’

  ‘Yes, but it was innocent fun. I care about you a lot, Rob, but as a great friend, nothing more. I’d never ruin what you and Alice have. I know you still love her and you’ll soon see that what you felt for me was misguided.’

  It was killing Izzy to talk to Rob this way. If only she could turn back the clock. She had been so comfortable at Cliffviews, and Emma and Chris had been like her younger siblings. Every Friday they’d have their movie nights with her at the cottage where they’d share popcorn and copious amounts of chocolate and soft drink. There had been times, too, when Izzy had got together with Alice and a few of her friends and they’d had wild girls’ nights with plenty of wine and dancing. The more she thought about all the things they’d done together, the more she missed them all. As she looked at Rob, Emma and Chris came to her mind so easily. Especially Chris, who was Rob all over – same eyes and black hair.

  Now Rob pulled a packet from his back pocket and held it out to her.

  Izzy took it slowly from his outstretched hand. ‘What’s this?’

  ‘Your pay, plus a bonus. I didn’t want to give this to you; I was hoping you’d change your mind and come back. But I guess you’re right. Maybe I’m being foolish. We did spend so much time together. Anyway, please take it, Izzy. It’s only small in comparison to what you’ve done for us. Alice also wanted me to give you this, and to tell you that she misses you heaps.’ Rob handed her a tightly sealed envelope, then shuffled his feet and cleared his throat. ‘I … um … really ruined everything, didn’t I?’ He looked at her with great sadness. ‘Don’t answer that. Sorry. I tried to stop it, you know, but I couldn’t help how I was feeling. You’re an amazing woman, Izzy Simpson.’

  ‘Rob —’ Izzy went to protest.

  He held up both hands. ‘I know, I know. I guess this is goodbye.’

  ‘Well, normally I’d invite you in to stay the night, but Mum and Dad would ask questions and it would be too awkward. I hope you understand this is for the best. Where are you staying tonight?’

  ‘At the pub in Lake Grace. Why?’

  ‘How about I meet you there for tea and a few drinks and we can chat some more. But nothing else, okay? I want my good friend back. Can you do that?’ Izzy asked.

  ‘Yes, I think enough crap has gone down for me to start putting things into perspective. I would really like to see you later and clear the air,’ he replied, the sadness still so evident in his eyes. ‘You’ve been a part of our family for over two years. I hope one day you can forgive me, Izzy, and come to visit us again?’

  Izzy nodded in reply, her throat too tight to speak.

  Will adjusted his sunnies quietly. He could see the look in Rob’s face and the defeated slump of his shoulders. This bloke cared about Izzy a lot. It sounded like Izzy had been working on Rob’s farm, and she was a good worker, apparently. He was curious to know more. From what Bill had told him, she’d been looking after kids and keeping house. Well, somebody’s been keeping secrets, he thought, smiling. Then he remembered that he had a big secret of his own and his grin dissolved.

  ‘What time will you come, sevenish?’

  ‘Yep, seven’s good. Till then,’ she said quietly as he climbed into his car, gave one last glimpse behind, and left.

  Izzy turned around and headed back towards Will, not daring to watch Rob drive away. Rob wasn’t the only one whose emotions were in turmoil.

  Will tilted his head like a puppy, waiting for her to say something.

  ‘Oh, just shut up,’ Izzy blurted, then stormed off into the house.

  Will sat quietly on his bike, his mind churning with questions. Listening to Izzy and Rob’s conversation made him realise that he didn’t know much about her at all, apart from the bits and pieces Bill had mentioned, and even those seemed wrong now. The last time he’d seen Izzy was a few months after Claire’s funeral, before he’d left the farm to seek solitude and find some answers. That was over four years ago, and a lot could change in that time. Will started the motorbike and rode home.

  Izzy headed straight to her room and sat on her bed. She glanced at the package with money bulging out of it and placed in on the bedside table. Carefully she examined the envelope from Alice. Izzy’s name was written on the front in beautiful sweeping handwriting, with a line and a little heart underneath. Turning it over, Izzy gently opened the back and pulled out the letter.

  My dearest Izzy,

  When Rob said he was going over to WA to see you, I quickly wrote this letter. I don’t have the nerve to call you but hope this will do. I had noticed Rob pulling away from me these last few months. He’d begun to work late and little things started to register. But it wasn’t until you up and left that it clicked. The way Rob’s been moping around the house, I figured it must be over you. I don’t know if anything happened between you, but I assume that you’ve left to prevent it. I know when women are attracted to Rob and you definitely weren’t. Never once did I feel like I had to be watching you two. I haven’t mentioned anything to Rob yet as I think it’s too soon. I’m sure he’ll open up to me later. Fingers crossed he does. But I just want you to know that I still care about you lots and hope this doesn’t affect our friendship. Emma and Chris miss you like mad and are seriously hounding me to death.

  So thank you for putting us first. I know it must have been hard. I’d love to hear from you. Maybe you could fill me in on the truth.

  Love, your friend,

  Alice xox

  A tear fell from Izzy’s nose and landed on the bottom of the page. Alice was such a loving person and Izzy couldn’t understand how Rob could do this to her. But the letter had lifted a weight off her mind. Tonight after she’d met with Rob she’d write her a letter back. Smiling, she began to read the letter again.

  It was exactly five minutes to seven when Izzy opened the glass door to the pub. She had deliberated over what to wear and decided on jeans and a black singlet with a high cut and wide straps. She didn’t want anything too nice or revealing. Tonight was not going to get out of hand. Oh, how she hoped Rob was going to behave. She paused inside the door to look around and saw him sitting at the bar with a beer. There were four blokes further down the bar from him, ones she recognised from the local shearing team. Rob, sensing eyes on his back, turned and gestured to her to join him. He was in his usual jeans and T-shirt. As she walked towards the bar she saw Rob order her a beer.

  ‘I’m glad you came, Izzy. I still wasn’t sure you’d turn up.’ Rob’s nervous smile greeted her.

  ‘Yeah, well I said I would. Shall we go and order some food – it might take a while.’

  Rob nodded. Izzy grabbed her beer and they headed to the large area to the left of the bar where tables and chairs were set up, stopping by the hole in the wall to order.

  Izzy followed Rob to the nearest table and they sat down, both taking sips from their beers as they did so, neither of them really wanting to start the conversation.

  Eventually Rob began. ‘So is it good to be home, Izzy? Has much changed?’

  Izzy smiled, pleased to be able to latch onto a topic that would be easy to ta
lk about. ‘It’s great to be home. Not much has changed, except the farm looks more run-down. Dad isn’t getting any younger so he could really use the extra hands. But I love everything about home – it’s where I’m meant to be.’

  ‘It must be. You look great, Izzy. It obviously agrees with you.’ Izzy’s heart skipped a beat and she looked cautiously at Rob to gauge his mood. Seeing her reaction, he added, ‘I’m just speaking the truth – don’t stress. You just look healthy and happy. So what else has been happening?’

  Izzy began filling him in on last night’s barbecue and the day’s harvest, and how her dad was still as stubborn as ever. She quizzed Rob on Alice and what stuff the kids were up to as their dinner arrived, both of them keeping the topics of conversation neutral and out of dangerous territory.

  ‘Oh, and Chris stacked the quad bike again on the weekend,’ said Rob with a mouth half full of steak.

  Squeezing some more tomato sauce over her chips, Izzy’s eyes grew large. ‘My God. Is he all right? What did he break this time?’

  Rob laughed. ‘You know him so well. Well, he was lucky this time – just a heap of skin missing from his elbow and his knee. He’s had worse.’

  Izzy nodded. That boy had nine lives, she was sure of it. As she ate the last of her steak she contemplated telling Rob about Alice’s letter. She swallowed her mouthful and cleared her throat.

  ‘Ah, Rob … are you going to tell Alice why I really left?’ She saw the change in Rob; his body stiffened.

  He shrugged. ‘I don’t know yet. She probably suspects something’s going on with me. I haven’t been myself lately, but I still love her – I know that. I never stopped. It’s just that my feelings for you made it all very hazy, you know?’ He pushed his empty plate away from him. ‘It’s just something that started building up in me. First, it started with me enjoying working with you, your company, our laughs together. And you are gorgeous so it would be hard for any bloke not to want to spend time with you. So anyway, all this just kept growing in me and niggling until I felt like I needed more of you. I couldn’t wait to see you or be near you, even if it was just sitting next to you. Do you understand?’ He didn’t wait for Izzy’s reply. ‘It became almost an obsession. Like a big carton of cold beer sitting on a table on a hot day, the more you deny yourself a taste the more you want it. I don’t know what to call what I feel about you, Izzy – some sort of love or lust – and it still aches sitting close to you but I know I’ll get over it. I can see how stupid I’ve been – taking off and driving all this way thinking I could win you back. I’ve had some time to think things over this afternoon, and I realise that with you gone, my obsession will fade away and life will go back to the way it was. Alice and I just need to spend time together and I’m sure you will be all forgotten and out of my mind … well, you know what I mean.’