Family Farm

by Palmer, Fiona

  ‘Sorry,’ said Izzy automatically, and turned to apologise properly. Her words almost stuck in her throat as a pair of bright, electric-blue eyes pierced through her. Suddenly everything seemed to slow down. People around her began to blur. It was as if someone had hit the slow-motion button and time itself had almost come to a standstill.

  Blake felt Izzy’s hands tighten around his arm, cutting off his circulation. She looked startled and mesmerised at the same time. He followed her gaze and connected with a pair of eyes that made him catch his breath. He knew straightaway that it was Will. Izzy’s description of him had been perfect. Blake knew he would have trouble getting those electric eyes out of his mind. He felt as if they had stripped him bare. ‘Are you okay, Izzy?’ he whispered.

  She could only nod her reply.

  Izzy found herself face to face with Will amid the bustling crowd. ‘Izzy, what are you doing here?’ said Will, his eyes following her arm, which was wrapped around a man who was tall, athletic and, he had to admit, very handsome. It instantly grated on his nerves. How could he compete with that?

  ‘Hi, Will. This is Blake. Blake, this is Will, from back home.’

  Blake took great pleasure in shaking Will’s hand, but he knew it wasn’t reciprocated. He stretched his fingers out afterwards, trying to get some feeling back. You don’t wring a man’s hand like that unless you’re trying to tell him something. ‘Here, why don’t you two catch up? I’ll go get us a drink. Bourbon and Coke?’ he asked. Izzy nodded, and he watched the nervous panic race across her eyes as he pulled away from her. Blake gave her a look of encouragement.

  Izzy felt weak. She wasn’t sure she could muster up any words. Then she leant her head to one side and, keeping her voice light, asked, ‘What are you doing here, Will? Fancy bloody running into you, hey?’

  ‘I asked you that first.’

  ‘Oh,’ she said, trying to get a hold on her mind. ‘We just got the weekend off after seeding. We’ve got a big ram auction coming up and so we came down for a well-earned break before we get busy again with the preparations. You?’ Will ran his hand through his hair slowly, and damn if it didn’t rack her body with goosebumps.

  ‘It’s John’s wedding tomorrow and we’re just having a few drinks to celebrate.’ He nodded to a bloke standing nearby with a few mates. ‘I’m in the bridal party.’ Izzy recognised John from home and another one of his mates, Chris. They were much older than she was so she’d never had much to do with them. A picture of Will in a tux flashed in Izzy’s mind. Was she seeing her own wedding? Will broke into her thoughts with a question she didn’t quite catch.

  ‘Pardon? What was that?’ she asked.

  ‘I said when are you coming home? Don’t you think you’ve been away long enough? You know your dad wants you back.’

  ‘Yeah, sure. I could just see him begging me to come back,’ she laughed, trying to hide her anxiety. ‘Besides, I’ve just got settled into a great job and I don’t want to lose it. They have the stud sale coming up and they need me.’

  ‘You know your parents have been trying to find you? We all have,’ Will said with an edge to his voice.

  ‘Well, I left a message on your phone so they wouldn’t worry. I’m a big girl now, Will. I can take care of myself.’ She folded her arms across her chest, starting to feel angry that Will was being so abrupt and wasn’t happier to see her. ‘Besides, it’s probably much more peaceful there without me. I s’pose you’re doing most of the work – or has he managed to hire someone?’

  Will’s eyes sparkled. Oh, he knew she was fishing for information about how the farm was going. Tough luck, he thought. ‘Why don’t you come home and find out, Izzy? We’ve got so much to talk about – and you know exactly what I mean.’ His tone softened. He watched her carefully for any hint of how she was feeling.

  ‘Oh.’ Izzy’s heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t think clearly. Running into Will so suddenly had thrown her for six. As they stood there, people kept pushing past her, shoving her into Will. He grabbed her arm and pulled her to the side of the door. The touch of his hand sent her mind blank. Looking into his eyes, she began to feel like chocolate left out in the sun.

  Will wanted to ask her if she’d felt anything for him but now he was scared of her answer. Especially seeing her with that guy Blake. The happiness and laughter he’d seen in her eyes when she’d been looking at Blake before he’d bumped into her told him a lot. ‘So you’ve moved on? You’re happy?’ he asked, holding her gaze.

  She realised he was waiting for her answer. Hurriedly she blurted out, ‘Yes, I’m happy.’ As happy as I can get without being home on Gumlea and without you, she thought.

  ‘Come on, Will. You comin’?’ yelled Chris, who was waiting just outside with John and two others. Chris walked up to Will and recognised Izzy. ‘Hiya, Izzy. Long time no see. Sorry, but we need him. Come on.’ Chris grabbed Will’s arm and gave it a tug.

  ‘Yep, okay. Just give us a sec, will you?’ replied Will.

  ‘Well, I’d better get going too,’ said Izzy. Leaning over, she gave Will a hug, desperately trying to avoid eye contact. His blue shirt was soft against her skin and as she breathed in, she closed her eyes. It seemed to last an eternity, then it took all her effort to peel herself off him, like a sticky pair of latex gloves. His aftershave clung to her skin, making her head dizzy. ‘It was good to see you, Will. Take care of yourself and have fun at the wedding.’ Turning, she walked away as quickly as her jelly legs could take her.

  Will watched her leave. He tried to talk, tried to get her to stop, but the words stuck in his throat. The way her hair swung from its ponytail and her manly swagger had him strangely hooked. His heart sank to the bottom of his chest. She had already moved on. She looked happy, yet he felt like crap. It didn’t seem fair. He knew it sounded like an old Mills and Boon novel but he’d dreamed of this moment so many times. He’d imagined meeting her at last and them running into each other’s arms, him telling her how much he loved and missed her. Then he would get to kiss her warm lips, which had taunted him in his sleep nearly every night, and feel the way her body fitted neatly against his own. He was so shocked to think that some other bloke had taken his place. He stood there saying barely a word. Nothing had gone the way it was supposed to.

  Will took another glance at Blake through the glass doors, as his cousin pulled him towards the car. He’d never envied a bloke this much or felt so jealous. He was a very good-looking guy and Will had nothing over him. He could feel envy pulsing through his veins like poison. As he headed to the car with the lads, he felt the first pangs of pain begin in his chest, and he knew his heart was breaking.

  36

  ‘ARE you okay? You look a bit pale?’ Blake moved a strand of hair off Izzy’s forehead.

  After a few deep breaths, she found her voice. ‘I think so. God, I wasn’t prepared for that. Look at me. I’m still shaking.’ The bourbon in her glass resembled rough seas as it splashed up the sides.

  ‘Take a few more sips. It will help calm you down,’ said Blake, as he guided the glass to her mouth. ‘But I’m not surprised. He’s a hell of a catch. Damn, you weren’t exaggerating at all. He is gorgeous, and those eyes are truly remarkable. My hair stood on end just looking at them.’

  Izzy’s despair was clear on her face.

  ‘Don’t worry. I think he still likes you.’

  Izzy pulled at her top, stretching it down over her jeans. ‘What makes you say that?’

  Blake rubbed his hands together. ‘The death grip handshake for one thing, and the disapproving looks for another.’ He saw her confusion. ‘A straight man usually struggles to spot a gay guy. Izzy, he thought we were together.’

  Izzy’s hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide. She didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. Now she understood why Will had asked whether she was happy. He meant happy with Blake. She felt awful. ‘Maybe there’s hope yet, Blake, if what you reckon is true.’

  Blake smiled. ‘Oh, yeah. I’d bet my life on it
.’

  Did she dare to believe that Will cared for her as more than a friend? And even if he did, would it work when she wasn’t welcome at home? Her head screamed with a million thoughts. Could they really be together one day? Should she call to explain?

  Izzy, remembering that Blake was anxious enough himself, turned her attention to his situation and tried to give her mind a break. She had a quick look around the bar. ‘Have you spotted Dean yet?’ she asked.

  Blake didn’t move. ‘He’s sitting in the corner to your left.’

  ‘You’re kidding! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’ Izzy stood on her toes and craned her neck over the sea of heads.

  Blake pulled her down quickly. ‘Shit, Izzy. Don’t make it bloody obvious.’

  ‘Well, if you know where he is, why are you still here?’

  He drained the beer from his glass before turning to her. ‘Just finding some Dutch courage. Besides, I wanted to wait for you.’

  ‘Well, I’m here now, so let’s go.’ Grabbing his shirt, she dragged him through the compacted bodies.

  Izzy recognised Dean from his picture and made a beeline to where he sat by himself. He had that horrible, nervous look of someone on a first date: his hair was overstyled and his aftershave was too strong. He was trying hard and Izzy had to give him points for that. Dean had large green eyes, which were almost hidden by his long black fringe, and his lips tugged in a nervous smile. He wiped the sweat from his hand before shaking Izzy’s. Dean was as filled with anticipation as Blake was. She could see it clearly, and began to relax, knowing that Blake would be all right. ‘G’day. I’m Izzy.’

  Dean shook her hand but he only had eyes for Blake, and after shaking his hand too, he finally looked back to Izzy and responded. ‘Hi, Izzy. I’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to meet you.’

  Izzy looked at Blake and smiled. ‘You mentioned me? I hope it was all good,’ she said as she glanced back at Dean. They each pulled up a stool and sat down. Izzy thought she’d break the ice and get the conversation going, so she did it the only way she knew how. ‘So, Dean, what kind of farm do you run? Blake tells me it’s down near Katanning. That’s not far from my family’s farm in Pingaring.’

  ‘Yeah, we have about two thousand hectares which we crop and run sheep on,’ replied Dean, easily moving into farming talk.

  Izzy turned to Blake and laughed. ‘Not still worried he’s a weirdo?’

  Blake went red and explained. ‘Sorry, Dean. It’s just I’ve never done this before. I mean, I’ve talked to people on the Net but I’ve never met anyone before. You hear so many bad stories.’ Blake felt better getting that off his chest and even more pleased when Dean agreed with him.

  ‘Don’t stress. I felt the same, but I think we’re doing okay. I came up with my brother, Nic. He’s staying back at our hotel but he’s near the phone in case I call for help.’

  Izzy watched Blake laugh and enjoyed seeing the spark in his eyes and the way he got all coy when talking to Dean.

  Within minutes, the guys were talking away like two old crows. Izzy attempted to pay attention but found her thoughts drifting back to Will, over and over again. She tried to remember all his words, memorising them and recalling how he ran his hand through his hair, and the way his eyes kept her from breathing normally. She wished she could’ve had better responses to his questions instead of standing there blankly, surprised and confused. Only now that the moment had passed could she think of the right things to say. She wondered whether he wanted her to come home. Would he have said more if Chris hadn’t hurried him away?

  Dean noticed Izzy’s glazed expression and a faraway look in her eyes. ‘Is she okay?’ he asked Blake.

  Blake smiled. ‘She’s just had a blast from her past. I daresay it’s shaken her up a bit.’ Turning to Izzy, he put his hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

  She looked across at him, startled by his touch. They were watching her as if expecting her to fall in a heap and cry.

  ‘What did you say?’ She saw their smiles and realised they’d caught her out. ‘Sorry. I’m not really with it at the moment.’

  ‘We can see that. Anything we can help you with?’ Blake offered.

  Izzy shook her head. ‘No. I’m not the best of company, am I? I think I’ll head back to the hotel and maybe stop in at the bottle shop on my way.’

  ‘You sure? Don’t leave on our account,’ said Dean. ‘I’d like to hear more about your farm. We probably know some of the same people, given we’re only a few hours away from you.’

  ‘I reckon we probably would but I’m afraid we’ll have to leave that discussion for another day.’ Izzy got up off her stool. ‘I’m pretty knackered. Blake had me drive all the way here. Besides, three’s a crowd,’ she said with a wink. ‘Don’t worry about me. You just enjoy yourselves.’

  Blake hugged Izzy and handed over the keys to his ute. ‘I’m sure we will. Just as well you only had one drink. You take care of my ute now.’

  ‘It’s not me you have to worry about. It’s the other loonies on the road,’ she laughed. ‘It was nice to meet you, Dean. Hopefully I’ll see you around.’

  ‘Likewise, Izzy,’ said Dean, as he drained the last of his beer.

  ‘Thanks,’ Blake mouthed to her before she headed out of the pub.

  Izzy climbed back into Blake’s ute and sat there for a while. She’d hoped to see Will again outside – maybe he was still close by – but there was no sign of anyone in the dimly lit car park and she couldn’t spot his ute. They’d probably taken taxis anyway.

  She drove back to the motel and headed towards her room, a paper bag containing a bottle of bourbon in her hand. The whole time she was looking out for him. Maybe, just maybe, he was staying here too, she thought. She would’ve given anything to catch another glance.

  She unlocked the door and headed inside, knowing she’d have trouble sleeping. She could still feel the warmth of his body and the enticing scent of his aftershave, which lingered on her clothes. Grabbing a glass from the mini fridge, she poured herself a large sleeping pill and then went out onto the balcony. It was so tiny Izzy could only just fit a chair there. She sat, quietly drinking and overlooking the city lights, wondering which room was Will’s or which taxi he was in. When that started to make her feel too claustrophobic, she gazed up to the sparse blackness of the sky and to the ever familiar stars that brought her closer to home.

  37

  WILL had enjoyed John and Paula’s wedding. They couldn’t have asked for more – clear blue skies, no wind and a happy bride. But Will had to admit his heart hadn’t been in it. Sure, he’d smiled and played his part, but inside his emotions were in turmoil. Seeing Izzy again had shaken him, to say the least. They were back at the Broadwater Pagoda in Como for the reception, which was a cocktail-style event. He hung out with Chris for a while but he was busy with his girlfriend, who looked stunning in a long yellow strapless bridesmaid number. He’d also had to contend with Tiffany, another of Paula’s bridesmaids and friend from the city who’d taken a shine to him. She was nice-looking, tall and elegant with high cheekbones and lovely cleavage, shown to full effect by her dress. Five years ago he’d have encouraged her, and probably taken her back to his room before the speeches had even started. But today he avoided Tiffany’s eye contact and headed to the far wall where his mum and dad sat talking. His mum was chatting with his Aunty Jen, no doubt talking about how great everything was and how stunning the bride looked, and his dad sat beside her in his black tux, staring into space as if following a fly with his eyes.

  ‘Hey, Dad,’ he said, sitting in the empty chair next to Brian, which was decorated with a white chair cover and tied with a yellow sash.

  ‘Hi, William. Why aren’t you over there with the younger ones enjoying yourself? You look like you’ve attended a funeral, not a wedding.’ This brought a smile to Will’s lips until his dad added, ‘Here comes one of them young beauties now.’

  Will looked up to see Tiffany walking toward
s him with a beer in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other. Her hands looked soft, with nails that were long and painted bright red. They looked like they’d never seen a day of physical labour. He remembered John saying she was a secretary in a law firm.

  ‘Hi, Tiff,’ he said politely and thanked her for the beer.

  ‘A few of us are going up to their room to shortsheet the bed, among other things. Would you like to come?’ Tiffany took a sip from her glass, then licked her freshly applied dusky pink-lipsticked lips.

  ‘I think I’ll pass, thanks. I’m just gonna chat to my dad for a bit and maybe go over my speech,’ he said as an excuse. She looked startled, but he was sure she’d find someone else soon enough. Besides, he was not great company at the moment.

  ‘Oh … okay. I’ll catch you later, then.’

  As she turned, Will admired her slim shoulders and bare back. ‘Thanks again for the beer,’ he yelled out. She glanced around and gave him a smile that said, ‘If you change your mind, come and find me.’

  Brian slapped Will’s knee and turned to see his son’s curious expression.

  ‘What’s up, my son?’

  Will wondered what to say. He hadn’t told his parents about his feelings for Izzy yet. It just hadn’t felt right up until now. ‘I saw Izzy last night at the Obie.’

  ‘Well, that’s good, isn’t it?’ Brian said, trying to coax more out of him.

  Brian yanked the bow tie around his neck, then groaned in discomfort. His father hated getting dressed up.

  ‘Yes, it was good, except she was with another bloke.’

  Brian rubbed at his clean-shaven chin. ‘I see. So that’s why you gave Tiffany the flick. Not many would give up a chance with her. You must feel a lot for Izzy.’

  ‘I do, Dad. I should have said something, maybe, but I was afraid of getting hurt. Anyway, now it’s too late and I forgot to ask her where she’s staying or where she’s living. I don’t know when I’ll see her again.’

  Brian put his hand on his son’s shoulder, but as for words, they didn’t come easily to him. He didn’t know what he could say to help. He’d never seen his boy so uptight, and it explained why he’d been distant over the past few months since Izzy had left. He thought it was the pressure of trying to help Bill on his farm without neglecting their own place. Now he saw that it was Bill’s daughter who’d had his son tied up in knots. Sandy was better at talking about stuff like this. Maybe when she’d finished talking to Jen he’d tell her about Will. Until then he said the only thing he could think of. ‘She’ll work out, Will. Don’t worry.’