Family Farm

by Palmer, Fiona

  ‘What do you mean you saw Izzy? Is she coming home? Did you tell her we want her back?’ Jean said, throwing out the questions in rapid fire.

  Will shook his head slowly. ‘I told her to come home and said that everything was okay, but she didn’t believe me. She said she wasn’t ready.’

  ‘You should have dragged her home.’ Jean sat down on a stool at the breakfast bar and put her head in her hands.

  ‘I’m sorry, Jean. Seeing her there took me by surprise. I wasn’t thinking straight.’ Annoyed with himself, he ran his fingers over his stubble roughly.

  ‘There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there, Will? What’s going on?’ Jean stood up and approached him, forcing him to look at her.

  ‘Izzy was there with another bloke, so I kind of lost all train of thought.’

  ‘Oh. Well, maybe he was just a good friend?’ she said, sounding optimistic.

  ‘I’m pretty sure of what I saw. They had a connection. What if she’s so happy she doesn’t want to come back?’

  ‘It won’t come to that. I know Izzy, and this farm is her life. She’ll come back. It’s beyond her control. And I know when she left she had real feelings for you.’

  ‘Yeah, but maybe they weren’t strong enough. Maybe she had a better offer. Who knows?’ Will sighed. Jean was right. This farm was Izzy’s life. He could always take comfort in that. Sooner or later she would return.

  ‘Did she say who she was working for, or anything else that might give us a clue to where she is?’ Jean asked. Will could hear the desperation in her voice.

  Will had been over their conversation in his head a million times. Izzy hadn’t mentioned anything or given any clues. Slowly he shook his head.

  ‘Where is Bill now?’ Will asked.

  ‘He’s gone up to the shed. He wouldn’t let me help. He’s withdrawing into himself and I can’t seem to reach him.’

  Will nodded. He understood exactly. ‘Maybe I’ll go and tell him I saw Izzy. It might be just the cheer-up he needs, knowing she’s well and happy.’ I wish I felt the same, he thought to himself, then gave Jean a quick hug and headed towards the door.

  Bill’s arms were sore. The sand on the pathway was too much for the thin tyres of his wheelchair. He bent over and reached down further to give him more leverage. Holding on tight to the cold metal, he pulled with all his might. His only chance was to go backwards out of the sand and find harder ground. Jean had told him not to attempt it, but he was sick of feeling like an invalid, sick of being inside, and sick of having his wife do everything for him. He wanted to do something by himself for once. For Christ’s sake, he couldn’t even crap on his own.

  Izzy was always in his thoughts. The longer she stayed away, the more it affected him, and he could see the spark had gone out of Will’s eyes too. He’d caused that pain. Why was he such an idiot? He should have let her work the farm – at least she’d have been happy and near him.

  The wheelchair was still going nowhere and he was running out of steam, but giving up was not an option. Reaching down, he tried again. He could feel his face reddening and felt the tear of his raw skin over his burnt knuckles. Pain ripped up his arm. At first he thought it was just from splitting open his burns but then he came over faint. He felt more pain in his chest as he struggled to breathe. He collapsed in his chair and the light started to fade. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard Will’s voice calling out to him as he fell into blackness.

  38

  IT took two minutes of Blake knocking on the hotel room door before Izzy let him in.

  ‘Geez, you look lovely,’ he joked as he walked in. Izzy’s hair resembled a knotted-up ball of yarn. Her eyes were barely open as she tried to read her watch.

  ‘I’ll save you the effort. It’s one o’clock.’ Blake smiled when she groaned. He pulled his wallet out of his jeans and placed it on the tacky melamine bedside table, right next to the half empty bottle of bourbon. ‘No wonder you look like shit.’

  Izzy flopped back onto her bed and buried her head in her pillow. Blake laughed at the sight of her drooping PJ pants revealing her undies and the way her arm hung limply down the side of the bed.

  ‘Tried to drown your sorrows, hey?’

  Izzy turned her head slightly to face him and mumbled, ‘Something like that.’ She rolled onto her side as Blake sat on the edge of his bed. ‘So how’d it go? By the annoyingly stupid grin on your face I take it things went well?’

  Blake started unbuttoning his black shirt. ‘Izzy, it was great. Dean’s amazing. We talked about everything – family, work, his plans for the farm and mine. You name it. It’s going to be so much easier emailing him now we’ve met.’

  ‘So, is it fair to say you’re “an item”?’

  ‘I guess you could say that.’ Not that he really had anyone else to share the news with. That took some of the excitement away. Dean was in the same boat, to a degree. His family knew he was gay, but come hell or high water they wouldn’t tell anyone in their district. They’d had a hard enough time dealing with it themselves, let alone worrying about what others would say and how they’d treat Dean. But Dean could escape to Albany. His cousins, aunts and uncles and one of his brothers lived there, and he was able to be completely open there. He’d even had a few serious relationships.

  ‘I just don’t know how we’ll last living seven hundred kilometres away from each other.’ Blake sounded nervous but you couldn’t mistake the excitement on his face.

  ‘Just take it one day at a time,’ she said, looking at him through bloodshot eyes.

  ‘Such words of wisdom at this hour,’ Blake teased, before remembering some of the things Dean told him. ‘You know Dean was in the state hockey team for a few years but gave it away to stay on the farm …’ Blake paused when he saw Izzy waving her hand at him.

  ‘Can we save the rest for the trip home? I’m really interested, just not at one in the morning.’

  Blake stood up, took off his shirt and leant down to kiss Izzy on the forehead. ‘Sure thing, Sleeping Beauty. I’m gonna have a quick shower first. I’ll be as quiet as I can.’

  ‘Ta.’

  He watched Izzy sleepily climb back under the covers before heading to the bathroom. Blessed was the day she drove into town. He lifted his shirt and breathed in the faint scent of Dean’s aftershave. It had been hard to say goodbye but they’d agreed to meet again, soon. Blake knew he was going to have trouble keeping the smile off his face.

  Simone looked at the white box. She turned it over in her hands and read the information on the back for the third time today. She’d bought the pregnancy test on Friday after work. Not that she really believed she could be pregnant. But it was over six weeks since her last period, and she just wanted to be sure. Mickey was due over for dinner any minute so she stashed the box back in her top drawer among her lacy knickers and G-strings. She’d already decided to do the test on Sunday. She didn’t want to ruin her night with Mickey. But she just had a niggling feeling. She put it to one side and concentrated on getting ready.

  She stood up and looked at herself in the full-length mirror. She smoothed out her grey knitted jumper, then turned to see how her bum looked in the skinny-fit jeans. She’d decided not to get over-dressed and opted for just the slightest hint of make-up. She wanted Mickey to see the real Simone. Besides, she’d known him as long as she could remember and he’d already seen her at her worst. Like the time when she was thirteen and she’d stacked her bather top with tissues to impress the boys at the local pool. It was all good fun until she jumped into the water and surfaced to find soggy tissues floating around. Mickey and Blake had helped her collect them, amid fits of laughter.

  She heard Mickey knock on the kitchen door, then let himself in, just as he’d done many times before. He put a bottle of red wine on the table. ‘Hey, Simone. You look great,’ he said as he awkwardly gave her a hug. They were still overcome by a strange initial shyness each time they met up.

  Simone felt just as weird a
nd nervy, and didn’t know whether to hug or kiss him. Mickey was wearing a rusty red jumper, which made his eyes look vibrant. Normally he’d have stubble or a good three-day growth, but tonight he was clean shaven. She’d rarely seen him looking so tidy. She pointed to the kitchen table, which was laid out ready for dinner, and asked him to grab a seat. She poured them some wine while she added the last-minute parmesan to the chicken risotto, and then served it.

  ‘So, have you heard if Janice has had her baby yet?’ Mickey asked, to break the ice.

  Simone put down her fork. ‘No, but it could be any day now.’ The excitement in her voice was unmistakeable. And then they were off chatting, as the stiff nervousness eased out of them.

  An hour later, their plates lay empty at the sink and the bottle of wine sat almost empty at the table.

  ‘You’re telling me that tough Mickey likes to watch chick flicks?’ Simone laughed at his selection of movies – all ones she liked: How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days, The Devil Wears Prada, Made of Honor. Perhaps he was just trying to be nice. Mickey held her hand and she revelled in the heat his touch brought.

  ‘Swear on your life you won’t tell anyone I chose these movies!’ he demanded jokingly.

  ‘Don’t worry, Mick. Just so you know, Blake watches these too. You guys all act tough on the outside.’ Simone found herself playing with his fingers and liked it. She was really beginning to feel at ease in his company.

  ‘Maybe we all want happy endings too.’

  Mickey’s intense gaze had her heart racing like ants to a dropped ice-cream. Then he reached up and held her face and she knew he was going to kiss her. Mickey’s lips found hers, gently at first, and she savoured the taste of sweet wine. She wanted more. Her hands climbed up his jumper to his neck, and she buried her fingers in his thick hair. Then her mind went blank, as she was consumed by her passion for the guy with the gentle heart.

  Late the next day Izzy and Blake walked into the house together, bags swung over their shoulders and smiles upon their faces.

  ‘Hello there. You two look like you had a great time,’ Simone greeted them from the kitchen.

  ‘We sure did. How was your weekend, Simone? You seem tired.’ It was easy to spot the black rings under her eyes, and the large shirt and track pants she was wearing made her appear like she’d just crawled out of bed. Well, that wouldn’t be unusual for Simone, except that it was five in the afternoon.

  ‘Yeah, it was fine. Had a late night watching movies …’ She didn’t finish but Izzy gave her a quick knowing smile. She knew Mickey had been here.

  Blake showed no indication of noticing. ‘Well, I’ll leave you girls to it,’ he said as he went and threw his bag into his room. When he came back, he waved to them both. ‘I’m just gonna catch up with Dad and see what he wants us to start on tomorrow. I should be back soon to help with dinner. Catch yas.’

  When he was far enough away, Simone grabbed Izzy’s arm, dragged her over to the couch and sat her down.

  ‘Whoa! What’s wrong?’ Izzy watched her pacing back and forth in front of her, anxiously biting her nails.

  ‘I need your help,’ she said, glancing at Izzy from the corner of her eyes.

  ‘Come on. Sit down and tell me what’s got you so worked up.’ Izzy patted the couch next to her. Simone sat down with a slump.

  Covering her face in her hands, she began to cry and laugh at the same time. ‘I’ve got myself in a right mess, and I’m buggered as to how it happened. I mean I know how it happens … just not how this happened.’

  ‘How what happened?’

  ‘I’m pregnant,’ Simone said in a whisper.

  Izzy took a few seconds to register what she’d just heard, then sat stunned for a few seconds in shock, before finally breaking out in a big smile. ‘You sure?’

  ‘Hell, Izzy. I did both tests and my period was due nearly three weeks ago. I can’t pretend it’s not happening. I’ve tried all morning.’

  ‘Well I guess congratulations. That’s great.’ Izzy gave her a hug, and then pulled back so she could see her face. ‘It is, isn’t it?’

  Simone wiped away a loose tear. ‘No. It’s terrible.’

  ‘Why? I thought Mickey was the one anyway. You’re just moving things along faster than normal, hey.’

  ‘That’s what makes this so hard. It’s not his baby.’ Simone saw Izzy’s confusion and explained further. ‘Mickey and I haven’t slept together yet. We’re taking things slowly. Last night was the first time we even kissed, and I mean kissed. We just don’t want to rush things – we both want this to work. Now this news is going to ruin our relationship before it’s even had a chance.’

  ‘Well, if it ain’t Mickster’s, whose is it, then?’

  Simone gave a funny little snort. ‘That’s the problem. I don’t know. I haven’t slept with anyone in bloody ages. The only thing I can think of is whether something happened that night at the bonfire. The timing’s right and I was blind. Anything could have happened.’ Simone tried to keep a straight face but suddenly the absurdity of it all struck her and made her laugh uncontrollably. It didn’t take long before Izzy joined in and they were rolling around on the couch.

  ‘Well, at least we can narrow down the field a bit, as we know who was there that night,’ Izzy managed to say between fits of laughter.

  Simone sighed after one last half-hearted giggle. ‘Yeah, I s’pose you’re right.’ Turning to Izzy, she grabbed her hand. ‘Oh my God, what a mess I’ve got myself into, Izzy. It’s either laugh or cry and I’ve done enough crying this morning. There’s nothing I can do about it now. But this is where I need your help. Any chance you could quietly sniff around to see if anyone saw me with someone? It will need a lot of tact on your behalf. Do you think you could do it, please?’

  Izzy leaned back on the couch. ‘Yeah, I think I can do some snooping without being found out. You just leave it to me. I wish I could help you myself, but I spent the whole night with Blake. You did go missing for a while there …’

  ‘Someone out there must know, unless they were totally drunk as well. God, then I really am stuffed, aren’t I?’

  ‘Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. There’s nothing you can do to change it, so all you can do is start looking on the bright side. Just think, a little Simone!’

  Simone wiped her nose on the sleeve of her shirt. ‘Thank God you’re here, Izzy. Imagine if I had to confide in Blake or, worse, the girls at the pub. They’re the town’s gossip lines. None of them can keep secrets.’

  ‘Well, I’m glad I could be here for you too. Now, how ’bout a cuppa before Blake gets back?’ Izzy stood up and waited for Simone’s answer.

  ‘Cheers. That sounds great. But make mine a hot chocolate, please.’

  Izzy headed to the kitchen, flicked on the kettle and collected some cups. ‘So, have you been feeling sick?’

  ‘No, not at all. But I know Mum never had any morning sickness with us. I have been feeling weird and more hormonal, though. I keep bursting into tears over absolutely nothing.’

  ‘Have you thought about what you’ll do?’ Izzy asked, then added, ‘Just so you know, I’m behind you a hundred per cent, whatever you choose. Okay?’

  ‘Thanks, Izzy. I appreciate it,’ Simone replied as Izzy spooned chocolate into the cups. ‘Well, I’ve been thinking about it – in fact, that’s all I’ve bloody done all day – and quite frankly it’s driving me nuts. I can’t make a decision until the father knows. He has a say in it too. But if I find out who it is and I really don’t like him, well, I think I’m better off deciding on my own. God, it all just gets so complicated. Hell, I hope it’s not Reggie’s.’ Simone pulled a face.

  Izzy handed Simone her drink. ‘Here ya go, chook. This might help. Chocolate always does.’ Simone gave her a weak smile as she sat down. ‘Would you like me to go into town tonight? Most of them will probably be in the pub for the Sunday Session.’

  ‘Izzy, I’m going spare. I’d love you to, if you’re sure you’re not too knackered
after your long trip. I got out of my shifts for this weekend so I can’t go in myself, but I can’t stand not knowing.’

  ‘It’s all right. I’ll go before dinner, but don’t get your hopes up, okay?’

  ‘Yes, ma’am.’ Simone saluted her. ‘Thanks, Izzy,’ she added in a more serious tone. ‘I’ll put your dinner in the oven, if Blake comes up with something edible.’

  ‘Maybe I’ll get some chips at the bar instead.’ Izzy gave her a conspiratorial grin.

  The last thing she felt like doing was going out again after a long trip back from Perth, but she knew how anxious Simone was and she couldn’t let her down.

  As soon as Izzy walked inside the pub later that evening, she felt confident of success; most of the blokes from the bonfire night were propped at the bar. Where else would they be on a Sunday night? She headed towards Jacko, who was there with one of his mates, Paul. A good place to start, she thought. She nudged her shoulder in between them and pulled up a stool.

  Jacko moved over a bit, giving her more room. ‘Hiya, Izzy. How ya going?’

  ‘All right, Jacko. Yourself? G’day, Paul.’ Paul said a quick hello before turning to continue his conversation with a bloke on his other side.

  ‘Weren’t you supposed to be in Perth? Mickey said you and Blake were going up together. A romantic weekend away, hey?’ Jacko asked.

  Izzy frowned. ‘Yes we went to Perth together, but no, it wasn’t a romantic weekend away. Blake’s not my type.’